Reason Morning Links: Debt Deal, More Bloodshed in Syria, Nixon on Watergate, A Close Encounter in New Hampshire

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  • Federal judge strikes down Florida's Comprehensive Drug Abuse Prevention and Control Act.

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    1. The Mothman Prophecies was filmed near me. A friend of mine had a scene with Richard Gere, but it ended up on the cutting room floor (as we say in the business (the business of saying things)). Gere doesn’t like to be outshined. True story.

      1. Since posting it, I’ve been inundated with phone calls about my comment here, so let me clarify. The “true story” was the part about my friend being an extra in the film. The story of the mothman itself is total bullshit.

        I apologize for any confusion.

          1. Buck up thar, Nessie. Have $3.50.

            1. I once auditioned for the role of the Loch Nest Monster in a movie. But the director said I was too big. True story. 🙁

            2. You seem to have misspelled tree-fitty.

              1. you got a problem with numerals? the quantity is still pronounced the same.

        1. So we have all learned two things about FoE today:
          1. He lives nowhere near where a movie was made.
          2. He has a friend that is a gerbil.

          1. I may have exaggerated. It’s more of an acquaintance. Well, it was, RIP.

        2. I heard that the hardest thing about making that film was the porch bulb scene.

  1. Interesting trick of getting the “security” spending in the deal to include Homeland Security and the TSA.

    Mathematics of the deal (and of the federal budget) will force Republicans to choose between cutting security spending and raising taxes. Members will take different sides, depending on which they hate more.

    Democrats will also get to choose their preference of that.

    1. Sounds like a good way to smoke out neo-con warmongering douche bags.

  2. Bashar Al Assad is begging to leave this world like Mussolini.

    1. to be used as a character in a Niven-Pournelle novel?

    2. Hopefully there will be pay-per-view.

      1. They ARE going to televise Mubarak’s trial.

  3. My internet was down over the weekend and I got nothin’.

    That is all.

    1. *moment of silence*

      Morning, Buddha!

      1. So this whole time Aqua Buddha was Johnny Longtorso?

        1. I assume everyone here is, until proven otherwise.

          And I assume that Johnny Longtorso is Suki.

          1. Oh, snap!

            1. I’m thinking Goldwater was finally told to go out and get a job by his parents. He graduated, what, three months ago and his posts have grown exponentially since then. Methinks mom and pop were tired of buying his Mtn Dew and doing his laundry.

              1. Hey… I will have you know that I am a Sunkist man!!! But yeah, finally got part time work and just got in contact with a recruiter in the DC area, so I should have a real job by the end of August hopefully.

  4. Like all franchises, it is time to reboot STEVE SMITH. My client wishes to rebrand himself in a more family-friendly manner and leave his current niche of cult favorite.

    Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, STEVE SMITH, THE MUSICAL:

    1. Oops!
      … I assraped again.
      I played with your butt.
      Got lost in the hole.
      Oh, baby; baby….

      1. You should be whipped.

        1. With apologies to DEVO:

          Assrape it
          Rape it good
          In the butt
          Ass-Rape

      2. Oh Stevie, Stevie
        How was I supposed to know
        That something wasn’t right here

        Oh Stevie, Stevie
        I shouldn’t have let you go
        And now you’re out of sight yeah
        Show me how you want it to be
        Tell me Stevie, cause I need to know now oh because

        My loneliness is killing me
        And I, I must confess I still believe
        When I’m not with you I lose my mind
        Give me a sign
        Rape me, Stevie, one more time

    2. RAPIST!

      When I was younger, just a hairy little kid,
      My mama noticed funny things I did,
      Like raping puppies with a B B gun
      I’d rape guppies, and when I was done
      I’d find a pussycat and rape it dead
      That’s when my mama said

      [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
      What did she say?

      [STEVE SMITH]
      She said, “My boy, I think someday
      You’ll find a way
      To make your natural tendencies pay
      You’ll be a rapist
      You have a talent for causin’ things pain
      Son, be a rapist
      People will pay you to be inhumane
      Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
      And teaching would suit you still less
      Son, be a rapist
      You’ll be a success

      [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
      Here he is, folks the leader of the crack!
      Watch him stick it up that ass!
      Oh, my god!
      He’s a rapist and he’ll never ever be any good
      Who wants to bend over for the Marquis de Sade?

      [VICTIM]
      Oh that hurts! I’m not numb!

      [STEVE SMITH]
      Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!
      I am your rapist

      [VICTIM]
      Goodness gracious!

      [STEVE SMITH]
      And I enjoy the career that I picked

      [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
      Really love it

      [STEVE SMITH]
      I am your rapist

      [VICTIM]
      Fitting braces

      [STEVE SMITH]
      And I get off on the pain I inflict

      [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
      Really love it

      [STEVE SMITH]
      I thrill when I drill a hominid

      [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
      Hominid

      [STEVE SMITH]
      It’s swell though they tell me I’m maladjusted
      And though it may cause my victims distress,
      Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
      I know, I know, that my mama’s proud of me
      Oh, mama
      ‘Cause I’m a rapist and a success
      Say ah!

      [VICTIM]
      Ah!

      [STEVE SMITH]
      Say ah!

      [VICTIM]
      Ah!

      [STEVE SMITH]
      Say ah!

      [PATIENT]
      Ah!

      [STEVE SMITH]
      Now scream!

  5. Debt deal causes world markets to breathe a sigh of relief.

    How can this be considering that the deal hasn’t even been voted on yet? Sometimes I really do have to wonder if the markets are full of idiots.

    1. You beat me to it, Mike.

      Talk about “grasping at straws”!

    2. “the markets are full of idiots.”

      Are we facing an idiot bubble?

      1. However, I’m guessing we’re nowhere near “Peak Idiot”, unfortunately.

        1. This. Peak Idiot is like Peak Oil. Proven Idiot reserves keep rising faster than Proven Idiocy in play.

        2. Unfortunately, idiocy is a self-renewing resource.

          1. Not just renewing. It grows exponentially with time. It’s like a bacteria that’s always in ideal growth conditions.

            1. hmmmmm. how to change those conditions….

      2. The supply of idiots will always exceed demand.

        1. I lol’ed at this. Fortunately, I was NOT drinking Mountain Dew at the time, and therefore did NOT snort pop out my nose.

          Carry on.

          1. It hurts just as much to snort G&T out your nose.

          2. Good thing you weren’t drinking soda or you may have shot a beverage out of your nose as well.

            What is this “pop” you are speaking of?

            [scurries back into hole]

          3. I LOL’ed as well.

            Trust me: you do NOT want to snort scotch out your nose.

            1. while this is good adivce, I have found some of the more delicate nuances of aroma can be detected this way…wafts of sea salt and kelp between blinding pain and tears.

              1. try slurping. get some aeration/aerosol-ization (sp?) going on when you sip.

    3. Not sure about markets, but the j-school headline writers certainly are idiots.

    1. Good to know. Ill be headed to Vegas tomorrow morning for my first ever visit. I can’t wait for the 6 days and 5 nights of drunken debauchery about to take place.

      Just have to leave the videocamera at home…

      1. “Just have to leave the videocamera at home…”

        Dude. This is like the first, well, maybe second rule of Vegas. Nobody wants evidence of live hookers after the cops find them in the desert as dead hookers. (Kidding, everyone knows prostitution is illegal in Vegas.)

        1. “(Kidding, everyone knows prostitution is illegal in Vegas.)”

          I think the word “”illegal”” needs extra quotation marks in this case.

          1. How “”illegal”” is it exactly? Im going for mybuddy’s wedding, and was thinkibg of hiring some entertainment for his bachelor party. And uh research purposes.

            1. Prostitution is legal in Nye County, e.g. HBO’s Cathouse. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P….._in_Nevada

              Unfortunately, Las Vegas is in Clark County, where prostitution is illegal. This will not stop you, should you choose to walk the Strip, from being accosted every 100 feet or so by hawkers advertising escort services. Las Vegas is about 1.5 hours or so by car from the Nye County line, IIRC.

              1. And, per the wiki, the brothel in Cathouse is actually in Lyon County, near Carson City, not in Nye County.

    2. How do I go about getting one of these 4 month paid vacations suspensions?

      1. Get a job wielding a club and a gun for The State, and then use the tools of the trade.

        You will be rewarded.

        1. Sounds like a plan. We should all become cops. If everyone is supra-legal, no one is.

    3. Possible punishments:

      1. Up to 40 hours unpaid suspension
      2. Firing
      3. Civil lawsuit

      Anyone see anything missing? Where is the DA at? Why no criminal charges?

      1. That’s a joke, right?

        The guy’s job is to commit acts of violence on behalf of The State.

        You wouldn’t want cops to second guess themselves before punching someone in the face or pulling a gun on them, would you?

        How could they do their job (committing acts of violence) if there were possible consequences for their committing acts of violence?

        That could lead to citizens being treated with respect, cops not immediately resorting to violence when not treated with sufficient respect, and more instances of citizens reporting excessive use of force!

        We can’t have that.

        The authority of The State is absolute!

    4. But no dogs were shot!

  6. https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2011/07/house-committee-approves-bill-mandating-internet

    House Committee Approves Bill Mandating That Internet Companies Spy on Their Users

    Despite serious privacy concerns being voiced by both Democratic and Republican leaders and by thousands of digital rights activists using EFF’s Action Center, this afternoon the House Judiciary Committee voted 19 to 10 to recommend passage of H.R. 1981. That bill contains a mandatory data retention provision that would require your Internet service providers to retain 12 months’ worth of personal information that could be used to identify what web sites you visit and what content you post online. EFF had previously joined with 29 other civil liberties and consumer privacy groups in signing a letter to the Committee members that condemned the bill as a “direct assault on the privacy of Internet users.””

    http://www.businessinsider.com…..z1TcNhkgLz

    Law Enforcement Is About To Start Using Retina Scans To Identify U.S. Citizens

    “Law-enforcement agencies across America are getting ready to embrace hand-held facial-recognition software that can grab a picture of a persons face from five feet away.

    According to The Wall Street Journal, the device is attached to an iPhone that will search a database and can be held six inches from a subjects face to do a retinal scan. Topping off its thorough identification, the screen will also take fingerprints.”

    1984, here we come!

    1. House Committee Approves Bill Mandating That Internet Companies Spy on Their Users

      Fucking amazing. A colossal violation of civil rights against nearly 100% of the population, ostensibly to catch a small minority of perverts, and it’s doubtful it would even do that.

      I have a better idea: before this bill gets enacted, collect every Congressman’s Internet info, and make it public.

      1. Yeah it’s fucking sickening. Time for a VPN.

        1. I’m working on it.

        2. How long will VPN services be exempt from record keeping requirements?

          1. Until the very moment Congress realizes what a VPN is or until law enforcement investigates someone who used a VPN, whichever comes first.

          2. trick question, since ISPs (comcast) are already blocking VPN if you don’t buy a Business Connection.

            1. wouldn’t a proxy block this…? urgh, I’m just a simple ERP programmer.

            2. I don’t have Comcast, but wouldn’t OpenVPN be an option there?

              1. That’s what I’m looking at right now. Though, I’m also going to leave Comcast.

                Also, for anyone who doesn’t know, Verizon is doing something similar on Android phones. You have to call ISP support and hope that you find a tech that will listen to you. You have to make them switch your phone to “General IP Unrestricted” in order to connect to a VPN over 3G or 4G.

                It affects Android and Windows phones. Apple signed deals with Verizon and AT&T to allow general unrestricted from the beginning.

            3. Just use SSH tunnels over non-standard ports. There are probably some services in other countries to do just that.

              1. TOR

                1. P.S.
                  It is ironic that the novel “Little Brother” by Corey Doctorow is not happening under Bush’s third term but under the savior and lord of privacy and openess in government, our most exhalted one, the lightbringer, Obamer.

                  1. Already running Tor.

                    A university group proved a while back that you can still be tracked through it. Better than nothing, but not perfect.

      2. mandatory data retention provision that would require your Internet service providers to retain 12 months’ worth of personal information that could be used to identify what web sites you visit and what content you post online.

        Quit picking on me.

        Brick and mortar. Meatspace.

        1. I didn’t read. Does this follow it all the way to the end or just the initial request? Will going all Tor all the time make them think I visit random university and personal servers all day long?

          1. I am so going to Google “Tor.”

            1. oh shit, she moved up from AltaVista. We’re in trouble now.

  7. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..olice.html

    “A sleepy Home Counties market town has become the first in Britain to have every car passing through it tracked by police cameras.

    Royston, in Hertfordshire, has had a set of police cameras installed on every road leading in and out of it, recording the numberplate of every vehicle that passes them.

    The automatic number-plate recognition system will check the plates against a variety of databases, studying them for links to crimes, and insurance and tax records, and alerting police accordingly.”

    o___o

    http://www.examiner.com/gun-ri…..ungrabbers

    British philosophy professor shows ultimate goal of gungrabbers

    “In discussion of the atrocity in Norway last week, there is one subject which has been notable by the almost total silence about it: guns.”

    The writer assuring us of this is British philosophy professor A C Grayling, and he apparently doesn’t frequent anti-gun websites like those of the Brady Campaign or the Violence Policy Center. He’s also blissfully unaware of blame apportionment going on by politicians like Carolyn McCarthy and Frank Lautenberg, who say a U.S. magazine ban is just the ticket for stopping foreign terrorists from going on mass murder sprees. And forgetting what’s being said on this side of the pond, is it unreasonable to expect someone passing himself off as an authority to be ignorant of recommendations from the U.K.’s The Guardian that “tighter gun controls?must surely be part of the repertoire of increased security measures to which Norway should eventually turn”?”

    1. Any criminal could:

      Put cardboard over plate(s). Drive through town. Remove cardboard.

      or find route around town.

      Or use stolen plates. Or make fake plates using laser printer.

      1. But that wouldn’t be very sporting!

        Of course, neither are surveillance cameras. Fucking British…you’ve CHAAAAAAAANGED!

        1. Hell, even the UK government has known they’re recreating 1984. They just don’t care enough to do anything about it.

          1. BP, also checked out your komix yesterday on Urk – very nice!

          2. SCORPION STARE should take care of those pesky privacy whingers.

      2. Police are not looking for hardened criminals, they are often dangerous, they are looking for people they can intimidate to pay a fine.

    2. A sleepy Home Counties market town has become the first in Britain to have every car passing through it tracked by police cameras.

      Haw!!

    3. Listen, when CASE NIGTMARE GREEN goes down, you’ll regret the US doesn’t have its own SCORPION STARE network.

      (Link for the uninitiated.)

      1. Bah. Read down, read down…

        1. No worries. When our Cthulonic overlords descend, Some of us will be ready.

      2. That series is Stross’s best work.

    4. Maybe someone should explain to Britain that the book 1984 was suppose to be a warning not a how to do manual.

      1. But in 1984, the government wins in the end. What’s not to love?

        1. What’s not to love?

          The facial bootprints?

    1. and nothing else happened

    2. (coping with) Suicide By Cop

    3. Well, hell. The guy was pacing back and forth after his son killed himself. What were the cops supposed to do?

    4. Apparatus of the State, honing their skills on easy, distracted targets.

    5. This seems to have taken place a year ago. Have the police finished their investigation of themselves yet?

      1. What? You weren’t there for the promotion and medal ceremony?

      2. Lazy is as lazy does.

    6. Most people get their view of the cops from shows like this (new on Lifetime !)

      http://www.mylifetime.com/show…..gn=against the wall&utm_term=against the wall new series

      Wife was watching it last night, and I almost puked. Retired cop Treat Williams is pissed because his daughter made detective in Internal Affairs. But her brothers are beat cops, and IA is full of assholes ! The whole thing is so divorced from the reality of seldom cops are really held accountable for the murders and assaults they commit…arghh.

    7. Police Beat Man That Just Learned His Son Committed Suicide

      Mr Whipple links to an editorial on a blog. Propaganda ensues.

    8. No dogs were shot. Nothing else happened.

  8. Say those defense cuts in the debt deal, aren’t they going to be met by the eventual drawdown in Afghanistan and Iraq? Or are these cuts for real?

    1. The assumption is that we will be be entering 5 new wars each year so the cuts are that we will only enter 3 new wars next year.

    2. There are no real cuts to speak of whatsoever. Nothing but yet another Washington commission to eventually convene and “recommend” a bunch of cuts for about the dozenth time.

      It’s a complete joke.

      1. If you work for the government and see your paycheck increase by 4% when your union leader requested a 7% increase, that 4% increase is actually a 3% decrease.
        More is less.

        1. I’m going to start doing my taxes this way.

          1. It is not permitted for the peasantry to use Holy Federal Math.

    3. Or are these cuts for real?

      Those cuts will happen, or not, with absolutely no reference to any budget deal made years in advance.

      Thus, they should not be scored as part of a budget deal.

  9. Syrian forces unleash their bloodiest crackdown yet on protesters.

    Time for Operation Pretend We Were Actually In Syria, Not Libya, The Whole Time.

  10. Have we won in Libya yet?

    1. Are we doing something in Libya?

      1. Absolving ourselves of past sins!!!1!!1!

    2. It’s only going to take a few weeks more and cost us virtually nothing until we win, you stupid Hannity-loving Bushpig christfag!

      1. Dear leader said “Days, not weeks,” you knuckleheads.

        And by days, of course, he meant months.

        1. “…by the book.”

          Obama is just trying to throw off Khan.

          1. He doesn’t believe in the no-win scenario.

        2. Obama’s days are like the days in Genesis.

    3. No.

    4. How can we win if there is no war going on to win. My government swears that the US is not involved in any war in Libya so there is no war to win.

    5. The Rebels have improved their efforts and are now killing each other.
      http://www.npr.org/2011/08/01/…..infighting

      Good times.

      1. “In eastern Libya, gun battles erupted between rival factions of the rebel movement Sunday, in the wake of the killing of the movement’s military leader. The battles in Benghazi are bound to set back the rebel drive to oust Moammar Gadhafi.”

        So much like our founding fathers.

        1. “A little people. A silly people. Greedy, barbarous and cruel.”

          1. Obama is no Peter O’Toole.

  11. Will someone please explain to me how removing money from the economy, taking a processing fee from it, then putting that smaller amount back into the economy based upon political considerations, has a beneficial effect?

    It just defies common sense.

    1. But as people like us know all too well, common sense =/= politics, and common sense is generally incompatible with democratic systems of government, since the mob rules.

      Sucks, don’t it?

      1. What is the alternative?

        1. All roads lead to – SOMALIA.

          And then they end at the border.

        2. Republicanism — actual republicanism.

        3. Actual republicanism?

          1. Republicanism was abandoned before the ink was dry on the constitution.
            Whiskey Rebellion?

            1. The Whiskey Rebellion was a session of raunchy, rough sex compared to anything and everything we’ve had in the last century. It’s not even comparable. And it was mother-fucking, cock-sucking Alexander Hamilton and his dipshits that enacted the tax, FFFFFFFF************.

              “”Single acts of tyranny may be ascribed to the accidental opinion of a day; but a series of oppressions, begun at a distinguished period and pursued unalterably through every change of ministers, too plainly prove a deliberate, systematic plan of reducing [a people] to slavery.” – TJ

              There were so many points at which we could have turned back and changed towards a true republic of liberty and rule of law, but we didn’t.

              It went from crappy to really crappy to fucking God-awful.

              1. Rule of Law doesn’t exist.

                Rule of Law is the modern Divine Right of the King.

                Both are simply an excuse for government agents to commit acts of force and fraud against citizens without consequence.

                Whether they’re authorized by The Law or by the King’s Divine Authority, the end result is the same.

                1. And what would your solution be?

                  1. The parasite called government always consumes its host called society because there is no incentive for government to shrink.
                    Bad laws are rarely repealed, they just beget more bad laws to deal with the consequences. Then each of them beget more, with the logical conclusion being a law for every aspect of life.
                    There must be an incentive to get rid of bad laws.

                    I would start with a bicameral legislature outlined in Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress where one house needs a super majority to pass laws, while the other needs a minority to repeal them.
                    This way people would run for office based upon what they will undo, and be rewarded with reelection when they repeal bad legislation.
                    This way there would exist an incentive to shrink government. An incentive that does not exist today.

                    1. That does sound good. How about a dual presidency, with the additional president actually vetoing stuff?

                    2. One is enough.

                    3. One is enough.

                      Fair enough. May be too many, at that.

    2. It has a beneficial effect on the government and on the politically connected and since they are the ones who run the government they think its a great idea.

    3. The entire process results in a net power gain for me. Now, beneficial for you, probably not. Maybe you should be a Congressman.

  12. http://www.freep.com/article/2…..dyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

    Wayne County, sheriff’s office can’t be sued over jail rape, court rules

    “Breaking with a 1996 landmark decision, a sharply divided Michigan Supreme Court said that Wayne County and its sheriff’s office can’t be sued by a woman who was raped by a deputy at the county jail.

    The four-justice majority said that the jailor was acting outside his official duties, thus the county and sheriff’s office could not be held liable because his conduct could not be foreseen.

    The 34-page decision upended a unanimous 1996 state Supreme Court opinion that the employer was responsible in such cases. The four justices — Robert Young Jr., Mary Beth Kelly, Brian Zahra and Stephen Markman — said the early decision was wrong and unworkable because it lacks hard guidelines and forces judges and juries to reach decisions “according to their subjective whims.”

    And Nothing Else Happened?.

    1. What. The. Fuck. Please tell me this applies because the SD fired the guard and aided the prosecutors in putting him in prison. Right? Because otherwise, I’m getting my fucking briefcase and my short-sleeved button down and going Falling Down today.

      1. More likely the guard will receive a medal. Wait. No. They give out medals for killing people. He’ll just get a fat raise instead.

    2. Of course he was wearing his official uniform at the time. Used his official key to get into the jail. And officially said “Stop resisting” during the rape. But he wasn’t acting officially.

      1. “..acting outside of his official duties”!

        That’s laff-out-loud funny.

        1. Outside his official pants.

    3. WHEW! STEVE SMITH BREATHING SIGH OF RELIEF FOR BLOOD BROTHERS!

    4. So, I guess cops can do anything illegal and not bring retribution on their offices? No need to have accountability then, huh?

    5. The four-justice majority said that the jailor was acting outside his official duties, thus the county and sheriff’s office could not be held liable because his conduct could not be foreseen.

      I suggest reading that carefully [emphasis added] and reflecting on larger implications. 8-(

      1. Jesus, nothing scary about that….

      2. Everybody’s got a hobby.

        1. Thanks, Q. I needed that! 😎

      3. I assume Wal-Mart and other corporations will enjoy similarly broad protections when employees “act outside their official duties”, right?

        1. No, those Walmart dudes aren’t agents of the state, and are therefore fallible. Servants of the God-Emperor, his government, and their subordinate entities are exempt from the failings of men by nature!

          1. God-Emperor, huh?

            My predictions: banning of combustion engines, making cars too expensive for. Pedestrians are easier to control

            Random Fish Speaker purges to start by 2014.

    6. Why should the department be held responsible? What actual punishment can be given to the department that is an actual punishment to the department? If the department is held responsible, that really means simply that the taxpayers are held responsible, and the department just gets to go on its merry way unfased. Instead, the individual who committed the crime should be punished to the full extent of the law and anyone who acted negligently should be fired (or worse, depending on if there was a pattern of behavior). But if the victim is allowed to sue the department, that means they are allowed to sue the taxpayers (who are the ones that would ultimately pay the fine). The department really would not suffer at all.

      1. Right. Dude got his rape on without ever having any complaints.

        Here’s a logical consequence: Taxpayers would have no more patience for all of the little broken rules and mickey-mouse bullshit that gets swept under the rug.

        1. Theoretical: In a world where the taxpayers had instituted laws to prevent and punish abuses by police and other security, would you still make the taxpayers pay when those laws were broken by said security officials? Just because taxpayers run out of patience doesn’t mean their employees will magically behave all the time. You can put all of the precautions in place you want, but people will still break the rules. I think that those who actually break the rules should be the ones punished, not those who made the rules that were broken.

          1. Yes. I believe that the cost to the citizenry/taxpayers is at least as high in the current sovereign immunity system, we just can’t quantify it. What does it cost to suspend an officer with pay for two weeks? My guess is they have a shift differential/overtime for the guy(s) who cover that officer’s shifts. Etc. I am not in favor of separate rules for private and public sector. If the private employer can be sued, so too the public. If the private citizen would be liable, so too the police officer.

      2. These departments are supposedly working for/representing the tax payers. Hopefully if the tax payers get fed up enough the sheriff who runs such a lax jail or hires sociopaths will be voted out of a job. But I will say, taking the settlement/judgment out of the department’s budget without replacing the funds would be just and punishing to the department.

        1. The city/county are not the Feds. The money has to come out of someone’s budget.

    7. Do you have a job?

  13. Once in a Steve Smith sighting, Pauly Krugnuts lets a factually correct statement slip into his column. Oh wait, never mind that was probably some low level editor who wrote the headline: “The President Surrenders”

    The rest is the usual inanity. The President could have done better, but those goddam Republicans get him so mad he takes his ball and goes home! Also, legal manuevers to avoid the debt wouldn’t have panicked the market (but hey, the deal sure does seem to have stopped the free-fall).

    1. Dammit! You beat me to the punch . . . have you read the Krugtards’ comments over there? So much Keynesian crying! These folks really believe this is The End.

      1. Dear God, not with your eyes. My brain tries to beat itself to death against the front of my skull when I try to read Krugnuts commentors. Its like reading Charles Johnson comment threads, but with extra toadying.

    2. Top recommended comment…

      The president has suffered a disastrous failure of imagination. His only consideration has been how best to position himself for the 2012 election. Forget for a moment that it is all too likely that the adverse economic consequeses of his deal will complicate his relection bid considerably, he has failed to recongnize that his abject surrender has consequences for American government and American life that will be far more profound and more longlasting than whichever individual gets elevated to the White House next year.

      This is a shameful day to be a Democrat and a shameful day to be an American.

      So histrionic, I imagine the commenter dressed as Madea.

      1. Every day is a shameful day to be a partisan follower of either Team.

        And the utter failure of our ruling class makes this a shameful day to be an American, as well.

        So, actually, I agree.

  14. “Is this the deal I would have preferred? No,” Obama said candidly in announcing the agreement.

    And “Is this bill perfect? No.” Please just compromise with me and quit uttering this crap.

    Definition of CANDID
    1: white

    Also, RACIST!!

  15. Dont you just love our bought and paid for politicians??

    http://www.privacy-tools.no.tc

    1. You would probably just replace them with bought and paid for Simulacra.

  16. Obama’s announcement that a deal is near caused stocks to rally on Monday

    We should all stop for a moment to thank our market analysts for not using their perfect knowledge of the markets to selfishly rake in trillions of dollars. Instead, they with the servants’ hearts, use their unimpeachable diagnostic skills to explain the markets to us rubes.

    1. Harold Camping’s announcement that the return of Jesus is near caused stocks to rally on Monday

  17. Look at Matt Damon trying out new words that heard hasn’t quite mastered yet.

    1. Why does Matt Damon have to have a stupid political ideology?!?

      1. You can take the man out of Massachusetts, but you can’t take the Masshole out of the man.

  18. Re: New Hampshire UFO

    Here’s a UFO attack that happened just outside of my isolated, small town of youth in 1979:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Johnson_incident

    We drove out there after the incident to check it out, as teens normally do.

    1. Can’t tell if true story or viral marketing for Super 8

  19. Did the aliens ask you to probe them?

    1. In Soviet Russia…

  20. I’m on an island with no cell service, and yet have wifi capability.

    Our house is on the west coast of the island, with its own beach. The sunsets from the westward-facing deck are singularly spectacular. Every night. Just amazing.

    Also, the weather has been picture perfect. I have no idea what’s going on elsewhere, and don’t care.

    That is all.

    *sits back in beach chair, adjusts monocle, removes top hat, recommences drinking gin and tonics*

    1. And here I just have to get along with rendering orphan fat so that some 3rd world kid can condition the leather in my car for less than he can eat on. (I only beat him half-heartedly when I catch him sucking the fat off his fingers.)

      Also, make sure you don’t line up your eye, monocle and the sun.

      1. Let me know when you make some real money. We must have you to island then to celebrate.

    2. I am in a 23-story office building.
      Tell me more about this island…

    3. any true Libertarian has his top hat surgically attached to his noggin’

      1. I sold mine after I lost a fortune shorting Idiot futures.

  21. New Hampshire erects a hiystoerical marker commemorating “the first widely reported UFO abduction report in the United States.”

    1. HA HA HA HA! See what I did there? I’m so clever! HA HA HA!

    2. SEEXXXXXXXXISSSSST !!!!1!111!!

  22. Apparently legalizing drugs in California would let the Mexican cartels move right on in and cause more crime. What?

    1. Cats & Dogs sleeping together, Gozurs incarnating, hugemongous twinkies falling from the sky and crushing civilization as we know it.

      Is that what you dirty fucking hippies want?

        1. Great, now I’m hungry. Thanks a lot, ass.

          1. Some interesting things come up when you GIS “ass sandwich.”

              1. “ass” You have to spell it right for the search to be useful.

    2. What the fuck? Up is down, black is white. Are there seriously people who don’t realize that the reason why organized crime is so involved with drugs is that they are illegal? Even people who are pro-prohibition must be able to comprehend this simple and obvious fact.

  23. President Barack Obama: “Is this the [debt] deal I would have preferred? No.”

    Obama said yesterday that the debt limit agreement will result in “the lowest level of domestic spending since the Eisenhower administration”? Can someone please explain this to me?

    Doesn’t medicare count as domestic spending? Since the Eisenhower administration, they’ve also added the departments of Education, Energy, HUD, and Transportation. They’ve added the TSA and the drug war. Do any of those fall into the domestic spending category?

    Pardon me for being such a moron, but I never learned newspeak so I’m stuck with the handicap of using the ordinary dictionary definition of words. To my simple mind, domestic spending is money the government spends, you know, domestically.

    1. It still is.

      Obama just says whatever bullshit sound good at the time with absolutely no concern for honesty, accuracy or consistency.

    2. He problably talks about spending as % of GDP, and assumes that we have supermagical economic growth in 2020 that outpaces government spending.

  24. “Am I the only one who didn’t get guns from the ATF” T-shirts.

  25. There are some primo quality, excellent vintage tears available for sipping at Daily Kos this morning in the debt ceiling threads, if anyone wants to check it out.

    I suggest using those threads to whet your palate, and then moving on to the Krugman champagne.

    1. What exactly are those losers so ticked off about? Assuming it passes, they’re getting another year and a half of debt and they gave up basically nothing!

      1. They wanted large tax increases and no spending cuts.

        1. It’s a “SATAN SANDWICH”!!!
          whatever the hell that is
          http://realclearpolitics.com/v…..dwich.html

          1. I believe this is a Bowlderized “shit sandwich”

    2. Cheese. WHAR CHEESE. (wait, what’s the proper cheese/whine pairing here? shit)

  26. http://pajamasmedia.com/tatler…..rist-plot/

    Texas Gun Store Foils Terrorist Plot

    “For those DC prostiticians who claim that American gun stores are the main gun suppliers to the Mexican drug cartels, here’s a dose of reality. Gun store owners in Texas just stopped a terrorist attack in progress.” …

    http://www.postcrescent.com/ar…..-carry-law

    “Wisconsin’s concealed carry law doesn’t go into effect until Nov. 1, but questions are already cropping up.”

    “Capt. Rudy Nyman said the Appleton Police Department is reviewing the statutes and is determining how it will alter its procedures to work with residents, business and the city under the new law.” …

    Fucking natural rights, how do they work?

    1. Those “questions cropping up” can probably summarized as “How can we get away with continuing to violate our citizen’s right to self-defense?”

      1. Hey, they already thought of that — illegitimately restricting, licensing, and taxing that right, like all others! Ain’t these statists clever?

  27. WTF!? Joe Biden charges the Secret Service rent?

    Since April, Mr. Biden has collected more than $13,000 from the agency charged with protecting him and his family for use of a rental cottage adjacent to the waterfront home he owns in a Wilmington, Del., suburb.

    1. Roflmfao. You can’t write this shit.

      1. T-bird wax and cut-off shirts ain’t free.

        1. If I were him I would want compensation for lost income too. 1) He’s charging them what the previous tennant had paid and 2) I’d guess the secret service would just be renting fomr someone else if not from Joe. Maybe it’s politically stupid, but I have no moral objection.

          1. Did the Feds rent out the Naval Observatory while the Veep is staying at home?

          2. If you or I required a protection detail, we would be responsible for the cost of putting them up, and their salaries.

            Sorry Joe, but if you want to have your security detail protect you at home, then provide them a place to crash. Otherwise, find a way to fend for yourself.

          3. If the state was providing this guy a maid or a hooker, would it still be cool for him to charge the state rent for the free maid or hooker he was given?

            “You fuckers cost me some rent money on my cottage when you filled it up with all of my state-paid hookers. Damn you! You owe me my lost rent money!”

          4. Fuck that. The VP has a residence maintained in Washington at taxpayer expense. If he wants to go to his beach house, or go anywhere else not required by his official duties, he should pay for his own goddamn security.

    2. talk about rent seeking…

    3. Well, if it’s an income property, and he can’t rent it out because of security concerns, this is fair.

      But I thought the VP lived at the Naval Observatory, which should have housing for Secret Service agents on the grounds?

      1. Well, if it’s an income property, and he can’t rent it out because of security concerns, this is fair.

        So, we get to prop up his realestate investments while he plays Vice President? Maybe he should have considered the difficult of being Vice President Landlord before taking the job.

        1. I would say he gets a benefit from having his security right next door, which makes charging rent double-dipping.

          If you want ’em next door, they stay for free. If you want them to pay for housing while they follow you around, they stay at a local hotel.

  28. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVgRRbDuZvY

    This is great, guys — take a look

  29. Okay, so in watching the news this morning, they kept saying 216 for the Debt Increase to pass the House. My math comes up with 218. Are we down 4 reps at the moment for some reason?

    1. Wu? I assume Boehner is a yes. Is Pelosi also an aye for sake of bipartisanship?

      1. So much for the stock market rally.

        1. er wow. It was up ~120ish earlier.

    2. If it fails, we get one step closer to the epic lulz afforded by “pulling the 14th trigger.”

      1. The 14th approach seems like it could really backfire.

    3. I think we must be. I remember hearing the magic number for the Boehner bill was 214, though.

      Too bad the missing members aren’t available because they couldn’t make bail.

      1. Thanks, NoVAH. I was digging around at house.gov and couldn’t find that page. So down 2 gets us to 217 to pass, but I guess they assume Boehner will vote for it.

    4. Wu, St. Gabby, Wiener,…

  30. Interesting watching the markets process the debt deal.

    Futures were up nicely before market open. The broad market is now down.

    Gold was down moderately, and is now down only a trifle.

    The Swiss Franc is up a lot (for a currency trade). The best investment I’ve made this year is FXF (an ETF that tracks the swissie, and a very nice hedge against dollar and euro weakness).

    I would say the market reaction is “meh” to “bleah”.

    1. thanks for the FXF pointer. I keep waiting for a broad meltdown to invest in FAZ. At that point my dollars will become worthless, but at least I’ll have plenty of them for insulation.

      1. Personally, I don’t think there’s any doubt the dollar will drift down over the coming year, at a minimum. They are fighting to keep it from breaching its low from the 2008 meltdown, but I think its a matter of when, not if.

        So, if you’re thinking about hedging your dollar holdings, FXF and its little buddies (FXC is the other one I have a position in) are a good way to sorta kinda convert some cash from dollars to stronger currencies. You’ll pay an ETF fee, of course.

    2. Speaking of the Swiss Franc, happy 720th birthday to the Confederation Helvetica.

      20 years ago today, I was living and working in Switzerland. For the septicentennial, we were given a 1/2 day holiday. I took and extra 1/2 day (since we were closed, this was mandatory) and went to Italy.

      1. Just this weekend, for the first time in many years, I was thinking that maybe I should have accepted that full time job offer and stayed.

        1. wouldn’t mind hearing your thoughts on Switzerland – government, day-to-day life, taxes, etc.

          1. Its been 20 years and I didnt live there long.

            I will give you one story from the late 80s that might answer all 3. A coworker of mine was an Algerian married to an American (they met when he was getting his PhD in the US). She was a nutritionist. He was a Nuke Engineer.

            A year or so after their first kid was born in the mid 80s (they were in Switzerland at the time) she decided to go back to work and got a job at a local hospital. He worked at a national lab. Both had decent incomes, they were well off. So, their kid is in day care, and the first month the bill doesnt come. The wife contacts the day care about it and they say they will get it corrected. Next month, no bill. She contacts them again. Its been paid. What? The canton took care of it. Some more calls are made and it turns out that the canton just assumed that any home in which both parents are working was low income and thus the day care was covered by the canton.

            On the other hand, another coworker told me about one of the canton tax collectors sitting down with him and helping him with his tax forms in order to minimize federal taxes. The cantons didnt care if the feds got a single buck.

            1. And by “buck” I meand “franc”.

            2. Fuck me!

              *goes to expedia for plane ticket*

              In a related note, I have been reading this guy Sovereign Man, he seems to have some decent advice in international diversity of assets…he thinks the US is completely fucked.

  31. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011…..latestnews

    Hey, he should be happy he wasn’t shot and his wife and daughters weren’t raped. The DEA gets a big round of applause for showing some restraint.

    1. Nothing else happened, though, right?

      1. It appears the tenant didn’t have a dog. SWAT was disappoint.

    2. Why won’t anyone take us seriously?

  32. http://www.foxnews.com/world/2…..latestnews

    Coming soon to DC?

    1. Best quote of the article:
      “You can’t have one part of society pointing a gun at another,” Ginis told private Skai television.

    2. I agree with the strikers on the fact that it is unfair they had to pay a lot in extortion to operate while others are getting a free pass. Greece should reimburse the costs to these drivers… but, where will they get the money?

  33. Senator Mike Lee now saying he may filibuster the proposed deal.

    Do it Senator; this deal sucks.

    1. I’m sure Rand Paul will be right there with him.

  34. Here’s the thing about the progressive demand that Obama simply continue to issue debt “…because the 14th Amendment says he can.”

    I think this would be a watershed in US political history, because it would mark the first time (in my knowledge) that the executive deliberately subverted the law, in full knowledge that that’s what they were doing, while counting on partisan politics to prevent impeachment.

    W did some crazy shit, and undermined the Congress in numerous ways, and I would argue they broke the law on numerous occasions. But in those instances, even I concede that they probably legitimately believed they had the legal authority to did what they did. If Obama was to just issue more debt, I wouldn’t believe that. I’d be fairly sure he knew his conduct was illegal, but thought it was “worth it” to “avoid a catastrophe” (the catastrophe of having to accept legislation he didn’t like) – and he would also have been secure in the knowledge that Democrats in Congress would protect him from impeachment.

    And once a President does that, it’s pretty much all she wrote. It would establish the principle that a President can so pretty much whatever he wants, as long as his party has enough seats to prevent impeachment. I think that’s already a structural problem with our democracy, but this would throw it into even starker relief and make it impossible to ignore.

    Why couldn’t a future President just make up his own budget and spend whatever he wanted and borrow whatever he wanted? “Whacha gonna do, impeach me?”

    1. One problem, of course, is that there is no way that I can see for SCOTUS to intervene. Aside from their asinine “deference” neurosis, who would have standing? What remedy could SCOTUS impose?

      That leaves only Congress. Talk about your weak reeds. The Dems would be all for it, of course. I suspect the establishment Republicans would be perfectly alright with it also, since their sole touchstone is whether they can be held responsible for something, and having the President do it unilaterally lets them off the hook.

      1. This is why when people complained that Ken Starr had turned the special prosecutor’s office into a 4th branch of government, I said, “Awesome! We fucking NEED a 4th branch of government dedicated to ass-raping the other three.”

    2. I find it very hard to believe that Bush’s people genuinely believed that torture and warrantless wiretaps were legal.

    3. “first time an executive deliberately subverted the law”

      Richard Nixon?

      1. Well, I meant more in the vein of pursuing a policy in defiance of Congressional authority.

        If a President raped somebody or cheated on his taxes or drove drunk, that would “subvert” the law, too, but not in the way I mean.

    4. Shortly after Obama was elected, my brother observed that Obama is the kind of guy who would use a pretext to usurp power. Maybe even suspend the 2012 election to preserve stability. That seemed a little extreme, but this 14th amendment stuff shows his partisans are willing to blow up the constitution to get their way. So, hey, anythings possible..

      1. Every new president it seems that some opponent says that. I remember it about both Clinton and Bush 2. Not Bush 1 though. Huh.

    5. I think Andrew Jackson and the Supreme Court beat him to it.

  35. ISRAEL: Protest tents …

    Takes an L.A. Times writer to describe unhappiness over heavy taxation, housing shortages, high gasoline prices, etc. and sum it up ad people being victimized by a “strong economy.”

  36. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011…..latestnews

    Obviously he was turning around to check out the hot MILFs down the beach.

    1. Per standard procedure, Moderie will undergo drug testing.

      Funny, my “standard procedure” would involve firing and criminal charges.

    2. The spokesman said Moderie “just didn’t see the woman.”

      That’s good to know. It would be pretty awful if he did see her and decided to run her over anyway.

  37. REPORT: D.C. Adults Top Alcohol Abusers in Country.

    http://www.nbcwashington.com/n…..08.html?dr

    1. Capital of tyranny, misguided shitheads, and the ills of the Republic? I’m SHOCKED!

      1. Do you have a job?

        1. hay bruthar wher hav u been

          time 4 us 2 perform reach-arounds awn each othr som mor! stop disturbin the adults!

    2. It’s probably 90% John – btw, where did he go?

      1. This is his one weekday this year to work.

        1. I hope he doesn’t hurt himself.

          1. brain explosion

  38. I see the NYT is doing everything it can to prep the battlefield for the next election. The plan is to blame the continued poor economy on draconian “spending cuts.” What a laugh.

    1. but but but…just imagine the many [JOBZ] made possible due to the boosch tax cuts for the wealthy[JOBZ] creators. yesir just imagine…

  39. New Hampshire erects a historical marker commemorating “the first widely reported UFO abduction report in the United States…”

    …Free State Project enrollment reaches triple figures.

  40. So all this nonsense, and we effectively get a clean debt ceiling raise. Hilarious.

    1. Not effectively, it was raised. It’s like bumping up your credit limit a couple grand and promising to use the change in your sofa to pay it off.

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