Friday Funnies

Obama takes on corporate jets


NEXT: The Wrong Slants

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  1. At first I didn’t get it. But then after about 20 minutes of studying your drawing I saw it says Air FARCE One. Hilarious.

    1. At first I thought it said “Air France One” and I started looking for freedom flies.

      1. I think you would have to look in China for ‘fleedom flies.’

        1. LAAACCCIISST!!!

          1. Fucking Mongorian!

  2. The guy on the left looks pretty freaked out that the president is having a discussion with the airplane.

    1. He has major scoliosis too.

      1. And I don’t even want to know why the pillow Obama’s carrying has a hole in it.

        1. It’s Payne’s subtle re-messaging of the cartoon: what’s really killing the country is Obama treating it like his own little fuck toy.

          Good catch.

          1. Thank you gentlemen for giving me something to laugh at.

          2. Fuck toy? I thought it was a hemorrhoid pillow. I guess it could pull double-duty.

            1. Either way, he’s named it Major Scoliosis of the United States Air Farce.

  3. To get a head start on the morning links, apparently Venezuela’s socialist medicine isn’t good enough for Chavez, who is going to Brazil for cancer treatment.

    Here’s to hoping there’s nothing they can do…

    1. I thought that Cuba would have had the top notch doctors in the world. That’s what Michael Moore said.

      1. I know you’re joking, but when I watched Sicko I never got the idea that Moore was saying the health care in Cuba was so excellent, just that it was accessible and good for a third world nation. I always thought that was his point: if a backwater like Cuba could provide accessible care then surely we could.

        1. Ahh, but more to the point is this question : Why are nation’s like Cuba “backwater” to begin with?

          The answer is the economic system – of which the healthcare system is only a part.

          An important part of this is how each system relates to the concept of property. This is a good book on the subject:

          1. I worked with a guy who had spent time in Cuba.

            He said that Cuba solved the problem of mass transit by making it a crime to pass a hitchhiker. Your vehicle belongs to anyone who asks.

            Cuba solved the problem of homelessness and hunger by making it a crime to deny a stranger food and shelter if they knock on your door. Your home and the contents of your fridge belong to anyone who asks.

            Basically, if you assert any private property rights you will be reported and imprisoned.

            No envy.

            A socialist paradise.

            1. And Cuba is such an economic powerhouse as a result!

              1. Being an economic powerhouse is bad because that means some people get rich and the ones who do not get rich envy those who do.
                It is preferable to not allow anyone to get rich, that way there is no envy.
                As we all know Moore set an example of this by giving all his millions away to the government and various charities, so he will not be envied by those who have not made millions of dollars.
                To do otherwise would be hypocritical, and we all know that liberals are not hypocrites.

          2. “but more to the point is this question”

            Move goal posts?

            1. No, he did not. He asked what we call a “followup” question.

              But nice try, MNG – I know you do keep people honest re: the moving goalposts, which is fair.

              This is not such a case. Carry on.

              1. Er, no, it’s classic goal post moving.

                “Michael Moore said Cuba has a great medical system!”
                “No, he was making the point that it was more accessible and that is remarkable considering how crappy Cuba is.”
                “Well, the important question is why is Cuba so crappy!”

                1. MNG,

                  Has it not occurred to you that maybe the very fact that Cuba has tried to make so many things “accessible” has resulted in conditions that necessitate more people who rely on that very accessibility.

            2. Thank you Almanian, and it really is relevant. Whenever you compare two things you need to understand what it is you are comparing and the WHY behind the comparison.

              For example, if I were to compare the relative health of lifelong smokers to nonsmokers it might be important to understand that smoking can cause health problems.

              If I were to state: “Well this person over here, he proves that even people with emphysema can be active! Let’s emulate his lifestyle!” you might have a problem with that.

              1. MNG – derp! No.

        2. Health care in the US is accessible. To everyone.

          1. Another good point – and it was before Obama shoved Romneycare down our thoughts.

            1. throats

              but thoughts works too

          2. Yeah, but after you receive care they send you a bill.
            I mean, they actually expect you to pay for goods and services rendered by medical professionals!
            That just isn’t fayer!
            No fayer!
            I mean, it’s not fayer!
            Health care is a basic right!
            You shouldn’t have to pay for it!
            Not fayer!

            1. Life isn’t Fair. We should redistribute surplus Fair to the Fair-challenged. We need less freedom and more idiot bureaucrats, taxes, and clowncar politicians to do this.

          3. WTF are you talking about?

            1. Directed at restoras. Threaded comments, bane of discussion!

              1. Seems clear to me. Assuming you are one of the mythical 40 million uninsured you can walk into any ER and not be turned away.

        3. “when I watched Sicko I never got the idea ”

          That’s because you’re a blathering idiot.

          1. Wow, I guess I lacked your rationality and eloquence so well displayed in your spoof post here and that is why I misread it.

            1. “Wow, I guess I lacked your rationality and eloquence so well displayed ”

              Yeah, you really do actually, thanks for that.

            2. Jesus MNG, next time call me…

          2. “MNG I hope you get dick cancer”

            So Tony can suck the tumors away?

            1. Only Obama has that power.

        4. just that it was accessible

          But that’s always it, isn’t it. It’s about access. Access access access.

          Now, about actually providing healthcare…

    2. Here’s to hoping we hear this from the Brazilian medical team: “The operation was a success; the patient died.”

    3. joe’s tiny heart must be breaking.

      1. Iirc joe never endorsed Chavez but argued that Venezula had enough free institutions to turn him out before it got too bad.

        And you say I argue in bad faith. Sheesh.

        1. “Iirc joe never endorsed Chavez ”

          You recall incorrectly

          “And you say I argue in bad faith. ”

          You also lie, and fail to settle up on bets you lost.

          1. “You recall incorrectly”

            Citation needed.

            So c’mon, pony up with the proof, or do you lie?

            1. “or do you lie?”

              Constantly, I at least never claimed otherwise. You, however, are still welching and lying while pretending not to.

              1. Yawn, I can’t help your butthurt stalker.

                1. “I can’t help your butthurt stalker.

                  Ok, maybe we could send my butthurt stalker to Cuba, someone said they have great medical care

            2. You also lie, and fail to settle up on bets you lost.

            3. You fail to settle up on bets you lost.

              1. You lost.

                1. settle up

                  1. Gotta stop using that Axe body spray…

                    1. “Gotta stop lying and welching…”

                    2. As your girlfriend says to ya, “you got nothing there dude.” Yawn.

                    3. You fail to settle up on bets you lost.

                    4. You lost.

                    5. settle up

                    6. And the funny thing is, you’ll come back to this again. You know there won’t be anything constructive to say or hear, but you’ll come back just to get the last word, because this pathetic little nothing web board actually matters to you, and you have to feel like you’ve “won” somehow.

                      You splatter an inordinately large number of your rantings all over everything, wasting who knows how much of your life, but ridiculously pretend to some type of superiority.

                      Do everyone who has ever crossed your path a favor, the nest yawn that comes along, stick a shotgun in that gaping dicksucker of yours and pull the trigger. No one will miss you.

                    7. I would miss him… Not!

                    8. Dude, you are seriously disturbed and obssessed. Seek help.

                    9. Get off the computer, mom needs to look up twat creams! This time I get the last word.

  4. At least this one is in color. It’s like the Sunday “funnies.”

  5. LOL! It’s funny because it’s true!


    1. Johnny?

  7. Needs more labels.

  8. I like how the plane’s asymmetry indicates Obama is a consistent left-winger.

  9. Balko posted this yesterday. The film is by STEVE SMITH. I guess he’s an imortal.
    A Trip Down Market Street 1906 San Francisco

    If the STEVE SMITH reference doesn’t get this thread going, I’ll make a pentagram out of pigs blood and summon the Herc.


      1. There can beeee oooonly oooone.



            1. Oh, fuck… is STEVE SMITH The Kurgen?!?

              1. Here we are / Born to be kings / We’re the princes of the universe / Here we belong / Fighting to survive….




            2. There can be only one STEVE SMITH

              1. Stop spelling my name wrong!

      2. Friday Unfunnies can squelch even Smith’s rampaging thirst.


    3. Everyone with a YouTube account must post STEVE SMITH jokes on that video right now.

      1. And thumbs up all of them.

        1. Done and done.

          1. Let’s fill the page.

            1. That’s not childish at all!

              1. It is a youtube comments section…

                1. C’mon, Ska. Everyone knows a useless troll is the final arbiter of netiquette. Just like the uninvited guest that won’t leave after you’ve made it clear they aren’t welcome is the only one who can really say where the salad fork goes.

              2. The Internet. Serious Business.

    4. Someone Summoned the Herc, did they not?

      You know, every wine, even a small wine, has its own personality with its own secret past and its own promises of pleasure in the future. And so those of us who have been witnesses of death as we have – for them, this is a manifestation of life. What is it, it’s…
      [inspects label on bottle]
      Lynch-Bages 1944! You know that when these grapes were being picked, the battle was raging all the way round the vineyard, but picked they were. That’s life. And now, after the battlefield and all that is forgotten, these grapes have turned into juice and are quietly in the bottle developing strength and character and certainty. Life.


  10. Q: What’s worse than the Friday Funnies?

    1. A burst hemorrhoid?

      1. You got that right!

  11. I like the way he changed Air Force One to Air Farce One.

    Cutting edge stuff, man. Could use more labels, though.

  12. I thought the hole in Obama’s pillow was for Air Force One, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

  13. Someone’s joining the Mile High club tonight!

  14. It has occured to me that corporate “fat cats” probably worked harder to be where they are than our unknown freshman senater in chief.

    1. That’s racist.

    2. There they go with the fat cat bashing again

  15. More Rush.

    1. Neenerneenerneener nee-nerneenerneener neenerneenerneener nee-nerneenerneener

  16. Classical!! Classical!! Do “Swan Lake”!!

  17. I don’t like the circle on the paper Obama is holding.
    Have a good weekend Reasonites!

  18. Harrison Ford’s Air Force One had a fucking escape pod — Obama ain’t got shit on Harrison Ford, dog.

    1. We need bumper stickers that say “Harrison Ford is My President”

      1. GET OFF MY PLANE!!1eleven!!

  19. Where are the morning links? WHERE?!?!?!

    1. Riggs must have been hitting it hard last night.

      1. Riggs! Cop Killers!

        *throws gun to Riggs*

  20. They should have done a Air Force One/Con Air crossover sequel. Think about it. Air Force one gets hijacked and at a refueling they sneak the guy from Con Air on to save the President, not knowing that he has escaped into the plane already. They work from different ends of the plane meeting in the middle to take out the boss, who is South African or from the Balkans of course.

    The score is by Aerosmith if you didn’t know.

    1. They should have done a Air Force One/Con Air crossover…

      I’ve been mistaken. You do understand libertarians.

    2. It’s missing something…

      I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

    3. The problem is that no audience will believe that any villain presents a legitimate threat to the combined forces of Harrison Ford and Nicolas Cage.

      1. ….unless it turns out that Nicolas Cage actually IS the villain! DEATH MATCH!

        Haha! The old surprise ending!

        1. Ah the old Shyamalan twist. Brilliant.

        2. That when Nick Cage takes off his face and we see that he’s really a gay scientologist.

  21. Off to work….

    Democrats to Introduce Gun Control Legislation Tomorrow
    Democrat Representatives Maloney, Cummings and McCarthy, all members of the Minority on the House Oversight Committee chaired by Republican Congressman Issa, plan to hold a press conference tomorrow to announce new gun control anti-gun trafficking legislation in light of Operation Fast and Furious. The “Stop Gun Trafficking and Strengthen Law Enforcement Act,” is designed to “keep high powered firearms out of the hands of dangerous criminals, including Mexican drug cartels.”…

    Holder Launches Witch Hunt Against Biased Banks
    …In the new prosecutions, Justice acknowledges in every case it did not prove charges of intentional discrimination, while banks have denied any wrongdoing. Many, in fact, earned outstanding ratings from anti-redlining regulators enforcing the Community Reinvestment Act….

    …As part of settlement deals, prosecutors have required banks to sign “nondisclosure agreements” barring them from talking about the methods used to allege discrimination. Bank lawyers contend the prosecutors are trying to hide the shaky legal grounds on which the cases are built. “It’s horrible what they’re doing at the civil rights division,” said Reginald Brown, a partner at Wilmer Hale in Washington, who has represented banks in connection to recent race-bias investigations. “They don’t have any proof, just theories.”

    He added, “They want you to sign something saying you agree, under the condition of any settlement with them, that you won’t disclose what their theories were. That’s because their theories are loopy and wouldn’t stand the light of day.”…

    1. The “Stop Gun Trafficking and Strengthen Law Enforcement Act,” is designed to “keep high powered firearms out of the hands of dangerous criminals, including Mexican drug cartels.”

      Christ on a crutch, what a sick fucking joke that is. Unless it’s a bill to abolish the ATF?

      1. keep moving forward with the 5-year plan even though it will go nowhere.

    2. “announce new gun control anti-gun trafficking legislation in light of Operation Fast and Furious”

      So the answer to the ATF scandalously facilitating the breaking of current law is some additional law? WTF?

      1. I beleive this was the intent all along. The anti-gun nuts are scrambling to get something passed before the whole thing…backfires.

    3. Redlining. That was the genesis of the housing ‘crisis’. Dumbass bureaucrats and thier lapdog politicians.

    4. Anybody else think McCarthy’s old man stepped in front of that bullet?

  22. The fact that the VP has a similar plane is really crazy. For pete’s sake he doesn’t fucking do anything that’s even slightly important, even from a statist point of view.

    1. What, you want to mess with Joe?

  23. Obama is important and is fully justified to own a jet, fat cat capitalists are not important.

    1. Payne does spoof posts too?

      1. Are you sure this even is a spoof, Tony does hold politicians in high regard.

        1. As long as they agree with him.

          1. Liberals shouldn’t, in theory, consider anyone above anyone else; all people are equal in stature and status.

            Unless they’re liberal politicians, apparently; in such cases, they are to be treated like the messengers of God Himself.

  24. Being kind of serious, the President is the Commander and Cheif of the military and Air Force One is a military aircraft. It’s just a platform for command, and can actually be justified IMO. Even Nancy’s larger jet could be justified, as it was by the Sgt. @ Arms.

    1. Yeah, except he’s using it to get from here to there on the campaign trail these days…

      1. ….is perfectly justified taking her fabulous million-dollar vacations.

    2. Oh, c’mon,hmm! The science is settled. There’s global scientific consensus (per Tony) that Obama’s a hypocritical douche about the plane thing, so stop trying to be all “I have a different opinion” and “I’m an army of one” and “you’re not the boss of me.”


    3. No, Pelosi didn’t deserve the extra perks. Fuck that.

    4. Bullshit, the president is as tactically necessary for the army as the USO show.

  25. You know who else had access to special planes for his personal use…

    Fucking hackneyed phrases, how do they work?

    Happy Friday, urrbody!

    1. I do believe hackneyed phrases are my realm.

  26. So… does the Almighty get to use the seven-year corporate-jet depreciation schedule, or…

    1. Still on that, eh?

  27. The Air Farce One reminds me of the Canadian comedy show “The Royal Canadian Air Farce”. 🙂….._Air_Farce

  28. C’mon, let’s go to Europe for another 2012 fund-raiser.

  29. They want you to sign something saying you agree, under the condition of any settlement with them, that you won’t disclose what their theories were. That’s because their theories are loopy and wouldn’t stand the light of day

  30. They want you to sign something saying you agree, under the condition of any settlement with them, that you won’t disclose what their theories were.BODY STOCKINGS

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  33. cter this time, . His icy drawl and mirthless gaze are still in place, but his grievous backsto

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