Social Security

Dammit, Jim, I'm An Actor, Not An Advocate for Federal Entitlement Programs!

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So, this exists:

Presumably, programs like Social Security are only necessary until the Federation comes along and outlaws money entirely

(Via Amanda Carpenter.)

Read Reason's Tim Cavanaugh on Star Trek's 40th anniversary here. I reviewed J.J. Abrams's 2009 Star Trek reboot here

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  1. WHY GEORGE, WHY???

    1. Joe, he’s a liberal who married his longtime boyfriend, and also an old fart. What the hell did you expect???

      1. Andy Griffith did shit like this, too.

        How sad to watch old out-of-work actors shilling for The Statists.

        1. Mr. FIFY,

          How sad to watch old out-of-work actors shilling for The Statists.

          More than sad… It ain’t pretty to watch!

          Except for Tony, by the looks of it, who seems to get off by watching senile George in action… Uhgh!

          1. I doubt George would make Tony moist.

  2. Presumably, programs like Social Security are only necessary until the Federation comes along and outlaws money entirely.

    Damn, Chuck Schumer fucked up.

    1. Well, the Ferengi Alliance (read “space Jews” or “spacke libertarians”, depending on what group Roddenberry was trying to satirize) traded in something called gold-pressed latinum. Undoubtably, a couple of bars made it in the hands of a few Federation citizens.

      1. * “space libertarians”

      2. Re: Achtubg Coma Baby,

        depending on what group Roddenberry was trying to satirize[…]

        Yeah, the most obvious and facile attack on traders and entrepreneurs from the unrepentant socialist. At least the original series was naive and quaint… and fun! The world in ST:The Next Generation was boring and stolid, just like any socialist state.

        http://www.thefreemanonline.or…..-trekquot/

        1. Yeah, but The Best of Both Worlds Parts 1 & 2 and Star Trek: First Contact were my first experiences wet nerdgasms.

          I knew right then that I’d remain a virgin forever.

          1. * with, but the typo makes it funnier.

      3. worth noting about the ferengi:

        “The Ferengi culture had roots similar to those of many other species, filled with wars, violence, and greed. However, the Ferengi managed to avoid many of the worst aspects of an evolving culture and their social history was notable for the absence of atrocities such as slavery or genocide, a distinction the Ferengi felt made them morally superior.”

        http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Ferengi

        1. Yeah, I sorta wrote myself into a corner there. But I’m sure capitalism is bad in some way.

          1. Oh, wait, I got it!…no, wait, that’s actually pretty good for society.

          2. I’m pretty sure Gene Roddenberry’s Ferengi were retarded “space privateers with lame-ass neuro-shock-whips”. It wasn’t until DS9 that the ferengi got interesting.

            1. Yes, and the Great Bird was dead by the time DS9 got into gear.

              1. . . . And by the time that DS9 really got into gear, exploring dark themes and plots that never would have garnered Gene Roddenberry’s approval, the franchise finally, albeit briefly, became interesting. (Case in point: the episode where Sisco ruthlessly and without regret manipulates the Romulans into joining the Federation in the Dominion War by being a party to the assassination of a Romulan ambassador).

                1. “First Duty” (also after Roddenberry’s death) had a dark undertone to it; so it was starting to happen before DS9.

  3. Arigato, Takei san, for giving me the courage to boldly visit government sites I never visited because I never felt it.

  4. i bet 500 quatloos it never happens

    1. Single or double elimination?

  5. OMG! Hurry George! There be teenager’s on the internet!

  6. Aging queen is aging.

    Suderman, Go the Fuck to Sleep.

  7. I like what he did there.

      1. ARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARF

        1. I am, and will forever be, your troll.

  8. Man George seems really excited about the teenagers

  9. He’s dead, Jim….

  10. Wow! Animatronics ain’t what they used to be.

  11. So I took Takei up on his offer and went to the site to so I could laugh at my “esimated benefits.”

    Lo and behold, even the website services have limited hours. Apparently I can’t be trusted to see my benefits in the middle of the night (or they actually pay someone to look this shit up and C+P it, instead of making it an automated database).

    This service is available during the following hours (Eastern Time):

    Monday through Friday: 5:00 a.m. – 1:00 a.m.
    Saturday: 5:00 a.m. – 11:00 p.m.
    Sunday: 8:00 a.m. – 10:00 p.m.
    Holidays: 5:00 a.m. – 11:00 p.m.

    It’s sad when government becomes a parody of itself.

    1. It’s sad when government libertarianism becomes a parody of itself.

      1. It’s sad when no one loves you. Here’s a reply to your troll sweetie.

        1. Indeed must be a member of Cocksuckers for Statism… and he holds his meetings at a Hardee’s.

    2. Now that’s funny in a Brazil kind of way.

    3. At least you don’t need to call ahead before getting on the website anymore.

  12. Wait! Sulu is a fag?

    1. I’m advising my client to remain silent until these accusations of his homophobia have be resolved.

      The Kirk family would appreciate it if fans would respect their privacy during this time.

    2. I would also like to request an inquiry as to why Enterprise is the only ship in Starfleet where female personel are required to wear miniskirts.

      1. I’d like to request an inquiry as to why you rejected my pass at you in the turbo-lift. I mean, I wear a fucking African medallion for you, bitch. Why won’t you suck my dick?!

        1. For the same reason I wouldn’t suck it either

        2. Please. Real Kirk could do any woman, any species, any time. Fake Kirk is some Star Wars character whose limited abilities can be ignored.

  13. I thought it was cute but not as sweet as my grandparents 🙂

    http://rctlfy.wordpress.com/20…..ney-again/

  14. is socialsecurity.gov an alias for theonion.com?

    1. It will be soon.

  15. I’m pretty upset that nobody’s mentioning Patty Duke here. So I will. Whoa, she got old.

    1. She’s 103 but looks 20 years younger

  16. That was just awful.

  17. KIRK IS A BETTER CAPTAIN THAN PICCARD!!!1!!!1!

    1. [Citation needed]

    2. Of course he is. This isn’t debatable. And I like Picard fine.

  18. Of course Vice President Takei is a liberal. Kinda goes with the gig.

  19. I have saved the world in the movies
    So naturally there’s folks who think I must know what to know
    But just because you’ve seen me on your TV
    Doesn’t mean I’m any more enlightened than you

    And while there’s a part of me
    In that guy you’ve seen
    Up there on that screen
    I am so much more
    And I wish I knew the things you think I do
    I would change this world for sure
    But I eat and sleep and breathe and bleed and feel
    Sorry to disappoint you
    But I’m real

    I’d love to help the world and all its problems
    But I’m an entertainer, and that’s all
    So the next time there’s an asteroid or a natural disaster
    I’m flattered that you thought of me
    But I’m not the one to call

    And while there’s a part of me
    In that guy you’ve seen
    Up there on that screen
    I am so much more
    And I wish I knew the things you think I do
    I would change this world for sure
    But I eat and sleep and breathe and bleed and feel
    Sorry to disappoint you
    But I’m real

  20. I never even thought about it like that before.

    http://www.total-privacy.ua.tc

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