Reason Morning Links: FOIA Turns 45, Cisco to Help China Police its People, Prosecutors Likely to Turn DSK Free

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  1. sco is going to build a 500,000-camera surveillance system for the Chinese government.

    Check your cans of Crisco, America. The China-men are watching you get fat from you own cupboards.

    1. I am pleased to report that I own no shares of Cisco, either directly or indirectly through mutual funds or ETFs. This will not change.

      1. I like this idea.

      2. Really? They’re quite a company. They manage to lose money being evil.

  2. Chinese pollution saved us from global warming. You can’t make this shit up.

    “The huge increase in coal-fired power stations in China has masked the impact of global warming in the last decade because of the cooling effect of their sulphur emissions, new research has revealed. But scientists warn that rapid warming is likely to resume when the short-lived sulphur pollution ? which also causes acid rain ? is cleaned up and the full heating effect of long-lived carbon dioxide is felt.”

    1. I’m so confused. The global warming caused by burning fossil fuels is mitigated by burning fossil fuels? I feel like these climate folks want something catastrophic to happen soon, but when it doesn’t they explain that it’s just around the corner.

      1. My solution: Stop using low sulphur coal in America. We’ve got a shit-ton of relatively high sulphur coal still. Let’s burn that. Acid rain is bullshit. We could seed the clouds with antacid.

        1. Antacid is usually calcium carbonate, so doing that would release CO2…

          1. Bismuth subsalicylate?

        2. the trees are dead above ~2000 feet in the great smoky mts nat park due to acid rain.

          1. my brain is dead above my shoulders due to acid

            1. My brain is dead above my shoulders due to rain, my pretty.

          2. Really? That must have happened in the last 4 years. Because in 2006 when I rode the whole park on a motorcycle I saw no such thing. And the coal plants are in Ohio mostly. And the winds generally blow SW to NE. So the acid rain, such as it was, is in New York and New England, not the smokey mountains.

            If you are going to make shit up, at least try to make it believable.

            1. i lived near the park & frequently hiked there notwithstanding ur drive-by analysis.

              1. also i am a lying sack of shit and got caught making up more lies

                1. my estalker never hiked w me thru the acid rain dead zones.

                  1. so not take the Brown Acid. I repeat, do not take the Brown Acid.

                  2. the dead zone in my brain i mean

              2. I was there less than a month ago, my 10th or so visit in the last 5 years, and can unequivocally say you are full of nothing less than grade A dinosaur shit.

          3. Having actually been to the Great Smoky Mountains, I can assure you that that is completely false.

            1. Having visited and written professionally about GSM National Park, I concur with grylliade. Acid rain may well be contributing to some die-off of trees at higher elevations, but to say “the trees are dead above 2000 feet” marks one to be, at best, a dissembling idiot.
              But perhaps I should await more evidence before rushing to judgment.

              1. Actually, this was pretty evident 20 years ago when I was a frequent visitor to the mountains. In particular, Mt. Mitchell had impressive stands of large, dead trees near the summit. Word at the time was that this was due to acid rain.

                1. Most of the high altitude tree loss in GSMNP is due to invasive species of aphids.

          4. True-there are no trees taller than 2000 feet in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, but I don’t think that that is due to acid rain.

            1. It is, however, due to Sauron.

              1. So….Bermuda is Mordor?

      2. Sounds JUST like the doomsday folk who said the world would end in May, or some such shit.

    2. If we burn dirtier coal and pull the scrubbers off of smoke stacks we can delay global warming forever.

  3. The Freedom of Information Act turns 45

    I hope I’m not going to be that weak and mostly impotent at 45.

    1. Close the thread. Winner.

  4. The Obama Administration manages to “selectively enforce” immigration law while still deporting more undocumented workers than ever before.

    Finally, the selective enforcement of marijuana laws makes sense.

  5. The Freedom of Information Act turns 45.

    Given the FOIA’s recent track ecord, I’m assuming that age is about as reliable as a Latin American shortstop’s.

    1. cabrerra for the tribe is an all-star short 2d in voting behind jeter.

      1. Ask him how old he is, I be he says 17.

        1. Now, now. Let’s not rush to judgement until we find out whether or not he’s Dominican or otherwise. Only then will we know whether or not his age is “accurate.”

      2. My new favorite ball player:

        http://www.cleveland.com/tribe…..t_104.html

  6. Bars’ double-decker parking raises concern

    District D Councilwoman Wanda Adams, who represents Midtown, attached an amendment to the city budget passed last month that requires the planning department to craft an ordinance in the next three months to regulate lifts.

    “When I saw the parking lifts, I was like, ‘Whoa! Do we have standards for these?’ ” Adams said. She’s concerned about the safety of the lifts, which she says don’t look like they can hold much.

    (fucking hydraulics, how do they work?)

    Of course there wasn’t an accident or anything like that to lead her to wonder, nor any evidence from any other place that uses them… she just wants to be a busybody and be sure the city is getting its cut:

    Adams’ amendment calls for an ordinance that includes design and installation standards for lifts. The amendment, which was attached to a budget that reduced spending from last year’s budget by $100 million, also calls for permitting fees.

    Modern American government in a nutshell. Regulate first and get some money, then you don’t have to ask any questions.

    1. What we really need is permitting requirements on regulations. It should cost not less than $1M in fees and studies, paid for personally by the sponsors, to bring regulations before a city councilmen — who may as a group be the stupidest people on the planet.

    2. Modern American government in a nutshell. Regulate first and get some money, then you don’t have to ask any questions.

      “When I saw the parking lifts, I was like, ‘Whoa! Do we have standards for these?'”

      When we are governed by adults whose articulations of their thoughts cannot be distinguished from that of 13 year old girls, should we expect much more?

      1. There’s nothing wrong with saying “whoa” in serious contexts.

        “Whoa, look at these subatomic particles.” or “Whoa dude, congratulations on your Nobel prize for curing cancer.”

        1. Damn tootin’. I’m like ‘Whoa, big fella!’

        2. Yes, I too remember when Doctors Bill and Ted won the Nobel Prize for physics and medicine, respectively.

          1. “All we are is dust in the wind.” Hmm, I’m pretty sure that was for philosophy, not physics.

    3. A neighbor of Union Bar said he is concerned that the devices could drop a car, perhaps even throw a spark that could start a fire

      concerned…could…perhaps…could…

      FFS, let’s just mandate that we all wear spacesuits for safety and get it over with. Afterall, I’m concerned that the Earth’s atmosphere could vanish.

      1. I think the neighbor’s best bet for addressing his concern about dropped cars is not to use one of the devices.

        I’m concerned that this guy’s brakes might throw a spark, so let’s disconnect them.

      2. Has mega maid gone from Suck to BLOW???

    4. “…which she says don’t look like they can hold much.”

      I wonder if airplanes also baffle her. Probably.

    5. Then I guess going to Japan would warrant a “HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS PHYSICALLY UNPOSSIBLE, DUDE!!!

  7. Portugal’s experiment with decriminalization has reduced addiction to hard drugs by half.

    I wonder how much money Bill Bennett lost betting that this wouldn’t happen.

    1. They want to try the same thing here? We’re supposed to replace all of our addicts with Portuguese? I don’t think that’s plausible.

      1. I guess Bennett figures since he has no control over his urges, no one else does either. They could make heroine and coke legal tommorow and I wouldn’t be using much less addicted. But unlike Bennett, I am not some useless compulsive degenerate.

        1. I’d be very interested in the price of legal cocaine.

      2. I don’t think that’s plausible.

        Yeah, come to the central valley sometime. Not only is it possible, but a lot of the hairy motherfuckers overlap into both categories.

    2. When was the last time someone referred to them as the “free Portugese?”

      I rest my case, you goddam degenerate.

  8. Here’s 50 photos of basset hounds running. I would also like to nominate a new name for the breed: “jigglehound.”

  9. http://www.theatlantic.com/mag…..py/8555/2/

    Obama pushing for voluntary suicide via folk music therapy.

    1. When I leave this world, I can only hope that some person isn’t strumming a guitar in my ear.

      1. Althouse mentions the John Belushi Animal House treatment of sensitive folk singer guy, which could not be more appropriate.

        1. Side story – when my wife’s grandmother was dying, she was brought home. A hospital bed was installed along with some medical gear.

          Anyways, we went over to visit after she slipped into a coma. My wife’s uncle was also there, shouting loudly in her ear that we were there. I somehow managed to contain myself, but I wanted to shout at him – for gods sake, just let her die in peace!!

          If I had followed my instincts, it would have made enough in-law enemies to last a lifetime.

  10. http://www.theatlantic.com/mag…..py/8555/1/

    Over protective parents produce neurotic unhappy adult children

    1. “I am happy,” writes Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project, a book that topped the New York Times best-seller list and that has spawned something of a national movement in happiness-seeking, “but I’m not as happy as I should be.”

      How happy should she be? Rubin isn’t sure. She sounds exactly like some of my patients. She has two wonderful parents; a “tall, dark, and handsome” (and wealthy) husband she loves; two healthy, “delightful” children; a strong network of friends; a beautiful neo-Georgian mansion on the Upper East Side; a law degree from Yale; and a successful career as a freelance writer. Still, Rubin writes, she feels “dissatisfied, that something [is] missing.” So to counteract her “bouts of melancholy, insecurity, listlessness, and free-floating guilt,” she goes on a “happiness journey,” making lists and action items, buying three new magazines every Monday for a month, and obsessively organizing her closets.

      At one point during her journey, Rubin admits that she still struggles, despite the charts and resolutions and yearlong effort put into being happy. “In some ways,” she writes, “I’d made myself less happy.” Then she adds, citing one of her so-called Secrets of Adulthood, “Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy.”


      Do you think an archivist punching you in the face would help, Ms. Rubin?

      1. Witnessing that would certainly brighten my day.

      2. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Happiness is an in general thing, not a fucking 24/7 heroin high. Here’s a tip, yuppie: quit comparing your insides to others’ outsides. Everyone feels shitty somedays. Drink a beer, have sex, eat some ice cream and wait for it to pass.

        1. It is an interesting article. I think it makes a valid point. These people grew up having never once been told by their parents to like it or lump it. That produces a strange and neurotic adult.

          1. I still haven’t RTFA, but I know someone going through this (cough cough) who didn’t have that type of sheltered upbringing. But they fit all of the other criteria (well educated, successful career, stable family, etc. etc. etc.).

            So I don’t think it’s as much of an upbringing thing as it is an undefined sense of what happiness is that leads one to question their status.

            I have low standards for happiness, which I think is the key. I understand where I’m at relative to someone living broke in some shithole. So I assume I should be happy and leave it at that.

            1. I think there are two things that give you “happiness” such as it is. One is a sense of perspective about how bad your life could be. And two is an understanding that happiness is mostly dependent on expectations. The typical upper middle class brat gets neither of those. To get the first you have to be exposed to people who really have suffered misfortune. And to get that as a kid you either need to go to a really diverse public school or join the military (neither of which upper middle class brats generally do). It is easy to think something is missing in your life or your life is hard if you have never known anyone who actually does have things hard. Second, to get a sense of how life is about expectations, you have to have suffered some privation in your life. The Buddhist have it right when they say life is suffering. They don’t mean all life is bad. What they mean is no matter how good you have it, eventually you will get used to it and want more. Go without a roof over your head for a few days and life in a simple heated room with a bed and bathroom is paradise. Live in a five star hotel suite long enough and it will just be where you live and will give you no pleasure. Upper middle class parents go out of their way to ensure that their brats never endure any privation and thus never learn that lesson. So it is no surprise that they are shocked as adults to find out that material and career success do not necessarily give them contentment and happiness.

          2. I get happy by accomplishments –

            The smile I got from my hearing my first engine build fire up; Building an amplifier and then listening to it; teaching my kid to ride a bicycle… etc etc.

            But happiness can be a fleeting thing, especially if your vision is ever set inward.

      3. There’s ALWAYS “something missing”. Grow up and get used to it.

        1. Exactly. Human happiness requires dissatisfaction. We all follow a satisfaction gradient in our lives. Why do we go places? Because we aren’t satisfied where we are.

          Why do we strive for achievement? Because to do otherwise means death. Maybe not physical death, but certainly death of the spirit. When you reach contentment, you can’t stay long, or you will get bored, out of shape, depressed, whatever. Humans are meant to strive for goals, not to bask permanently in past achievements.

      4. She’s not a girl who misses much,
        Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, oh yeah.

        She’s well acquainted
        With the touch of the velvet hand,
        Like a lizard on a window pane,
        The man in the crowd,
        With the multicolored mirrors
        On his hobnail boots.

        Lying with his eyes
        While his hands are busy working overtime.
        A soap impression of his wife,
        Which he ate and donated to the National Trust.

        I need a fix because I’m going down.
        Down to the bits that I left uptown.
        I need a fix because I’m going down.

        Mother Superior jump the gun.
        Mother Superior jump the gun.
        Mother Superior jump the gun.
        Mother Superior jump the gun.
        Mother Superior jump the gun.
        Mother Superior jump the gun.

        Happiness is a warm gun (bang bang, shoot shoot).
        Happiness is a warm gun, mama (bang bang, shoot shoot).

        When I hold you in my arms,
        And I feel my finger on your trigger,
        I know no one can do me no harm.

        Because happiness is a warm gun, mama (bang bang, shoot shoot).
        Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is (bang bang, shoot shoot).
        Happiness is a warm, yes it is, gun (happiness, bang bang, shoot shoot).
        Well, don’t you know that happiness is a warm gun, mama
        (Happiness is a warm gun, yeah).

      5. SugarFree|7.5.11 @ 9:32AM|#
        Do you think an archivist punching you in the face would help, Ms. Rubin?

        Between all the threatened punchings and ceaseless commentary, when do you find time to “archive” anything?

      6. Fuck me blind…this is a spoof, right? A passing charicature from a long-forgotten episode of Sex and the City?

      7. Must…resist…urge…to…snark…

        Gretchen! You have girl parts and therefore what you want changes every 30 minutes!

        God, I can’t resist temptation. But at least I’m happy now.

    2. Happiness is Skyrim.

      God, that game can not come out fast enough.

      1. Agreed. Even if it does sound like a gay science fiction porno.

        1. Hey! It won’t be a gay science fiction porno until the modders get cracking.

  11. Prosecutors will agree to drop the charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn–either on his next court date in two weeks or even sooner, according to a top investigator in the case who called the eventual dismissal “a certainty.”

    Crow here! Getcher tasty crow!

    1. Maybe she’s making it up too? http://slatest.slate.com/posts….._rape.html

      I wouldn’t convict DSK of rape for the hotel room, due to the changed story and lack of general credibility of the complainant, but that’s a long way from saying he’s completely innocent.

  12. Class warfare and stollers

    Fucking property rights… how do they work?

    1. Like magnets?

    2. While the article was typical braindead Jezebel fare, the comments seemed surprisingly even-handed. I was hoping to mine one for posting here, but could not find anything funny enough.

    3. I’d prefer to discuss “Does One Deserve to Be Shot in the Kneecap for Stealing an Expensive Stroller?”

    4. The thief is a lowlife, but what kind of moron leaves a $400 anything unattended and unlocked outside in a major metro. No one deserves to be robbed, but take some basic precautions, FFS. If someone leaves their iPad unattended and sitting on the sidewalk in NY City, would the NY Times deem it worthy of a story when it gets stolen?

      Fucking locks… how do they work?

      1. Your word of the days is:

        strollerjacked

      2. Is this not the “do not dress like a hooker” as a precaution against rape argument?

        1. Assault is worlds different than leaving something valuable unattended and unlocked is somewhat negligent behavior. I also said that no one deserves to be robbed. But it’s also not newsworthy. Would you have sympathy for the person if they left $400 sitting unattended on a park bench and it got stolen?

          1. The Rev. has a point. In order to not “victim-blame” the feminist cant is often that women shouldn’t have to ever give a thought to their behavior because it is the rapist’s duty not to rape. (I completely agree with that last part.) But to make it consistent, they will argue that women shouldn’t ever have to take any precautions against rape because “men shouldn’t rape.” Which is as childish as saying that you shouldn’t ever have to lock your bike or your front door because “people shouldn’t steal.”

            People steal and people rape. Magical thinking won’t make that go away. Take precautions and don’t count on other people’s restraint for the safety of your person or property.

    5. Fucking angry socialist women. How do they work?

      1. How do they work?

        Only until they find a man to sponge off of: “From Each According to His Ability, To Each According to Her Need”

        1. I’m not sure that’s limited to socialist women.

          1. They’re all fucking socialist.

    6. Fucking property rights… how do they work?

      They don’t. You’re just holding it until Uncle Sam decides you don’t get to have it anymore.

    7. You know, among ancaps there is a thread of thought that says that expecting the state to protect you from having your shit stolen or to protect yuo from having yourself attacked is in itself a kind of welfare entitlement.

      I am not myself an ancap but I must confess to having a lot of sympathy for the philosophy, especially on issues like this.

  13. Friday night, driving home from a show, my date and I ran into a “safety” checkpoint where they were diverting all traffic off the road into a church parking lot and asking for drivers’ licenses and checking registration tags. As best I can tell from the people who got pulled out of line, DWB was the primary unsafe driving activity they were checking for. Me, (white, no tats, normal clothes, short hair) they check my stuff and say “have a nice night”.

    1. If you ever want to have some fun, explain to a good nanny state soccer mom liberal how laws like this just give the police an excuse to harrass poor people and minorities. The stuttering and the shocked looks are fucking priceless.

      1. The best checkpoints are the ones on “no refusal weekend”.

        Get pulled over for no reason, rub the cop the wrong way, and get your person violated with a needle all in the name of “public safety”.

        1. If you like “no refusal weekend”, you’ll love “No 4a month”!

      2. Yes but I want cops to harrass minorities. Maybe minorities will get the message that we dont want them here.

        1. D- trolling.

      3. My date is an ex-Army hippie from N FL. She wanted to have some words with the cops. I wanted them to not know that I’d had four beers. She was in my ear the whole rest of the ride and for about 20 minutes after. She still thinks my libertarianism means “Republican who is cool with stoners”.

        1. Rpubican who is cool with stoners

          There are worse things I suppose.

        2. from N FL

          What team did she play for?

          1. Hey now. Just because she grew up in the country doesn’t mean she’s ready to play nose tackle.

            1. Oh, right, the old “whores and hockey players” joke. I was just noting that “N FL” looks like “NFL.”

              1. No offense taken. I’m only morally obligated to rise to her defense if you insult her dog, as best I can tell.

          2. Cleveland Brownshirts?

        3. Even in the best case scenario where they raise it for a huge amount of cuts I doubt it will do crap. Look at the shrinking budget cuts they machinated last time. You cannot really trust them.

          1. Shoot, wrong thread.

    2. What states have these type of checkpoints? I’ve never hit one here in the wilds of Michigan – and we’re not exactly a conservative state.

      My friend was working a consulting gig in Colorado and hit a drunk-driving checkpoint. Any other places?

      1. Florida is where my story takes place. They can verify you have a valid driver’s license, and that your car has a current registration. However, all probable cause rules of a regular traffic stop apply. In FL that means they can give you a breath test without any cause. Refusal to cooperate means forfeiting your license and spending the night in jail.

        1. They used to have them in KY but actually realized they were counterproductive and stopped doing them. I got stopped in one about 2 AM New Years Night, sometime @1989ish. I was dead sober.

          1. 2 AM New Years Night, sometime @1989ish. I was dead sober.

            Bummer.

            1. I was a MUCH lighter drinker during my younger years.

      2. My local police (in PA) love to set one up in the outbound lane from the dry town next to our township.

        1. note to self, always travel with my lawyer.

          1. The sad part, from what I gather, is that you’re not entitled to legal representation until after you’ve been arrested (or something like that) and evidence has been gathered. Somebody correct me if I am wrong but I remember hearing that somewhere… So even if you’re drunk and driving a car with your lawyer in it there is nothing he can do until you’re processed in the police station.

            1. the lawyer is there to annoy them with legal questions. Then he can call the bondsman after I refuse to be searched.

      3. Most states have them.

        I know that in Texas the state Supreme Court ruled them unconstitutional a long time ago and that we therefore don’t have them here. From what I gather there are a few other states (Montana is one I think?) that don’t have them for similar logical reasons but that they’re pretty much common practice across much of the United States.

        I think I would pretty much get tasered and thrown in jail forever if I ever got stopped and started flipping out over it, because I would certainly start flipping out if I got searched without any probable cause aside from just driving a car on a public street.

      4. Maine has them too.

        I’ve not personally seen one in Texas, but I have heard of a fake one that was done south of Austin. DPS put up a road sign that said “Sobriety checkpoint “x” miles ahead. Slow traffic.” and then pulled over drivers that exited the freeway. I guess the theory was, if they didn’t have anything to hide, they wouldn’t be trying to avoid the checkpoint.

        Thanks again, Rehnquist, for foisting Sitz upon us. A serious problem in this country is that TPTB never have to suffer the consequences of their judicial decisions or legislation. It’s easy for Rehnquist to write that the impact on a driver from a sobriety checkpoint is minimal, when he’s never going to get caught in one of the things.

        1. Not anymore I won’t!

    3. I find that they were using a church parking lot for state business disturbing.

  14. Every city in the US and Europe is riddled with surveillance cameras and the fact that a city in China is doing it is newsworthy?

    1. But we’re the good guys, remember.

  15. Cisco is going to build a 500,000-camera surveillance system for the Chinese government.

    Is this the world-record-level infrastructure The Truth is always telling us about?

    1. I think we all saw this coming.

    2. Shocked Shocked I tell you. Assholes.

    3. An early August vote would intervere with Cornyn’s fly fishing vacation.

    4. Even in the best case scenario where they raise it for a huge amount of cuts I doubt it will do crap. Look at the shrinking budget cuts they machinated last time. You cannot really trust them.

      1. These idiots seem to think that the Tea Party was a transient phenomenon. Jokes aside, I don’t think anyone seriously wants civil disorder, but dammit, if politicians don’t start getting their fiscal house in order, we’re going to end up there.

        The Tea Party was a warning that people are pissed off and wanted a change. If Codevilla’s “ruling class” won’t change, what happens next?

  16. Strauss-Kahn faces new sexual assault suit in France

    Or, as our trolls would have it:

    Brave Socialist Hero Attacked Again By Degenerate Capitalist Lynch Mob

    1. Look, there’s this MAT, and it has different CONCLUSIONS on it, and you JUMP to CONCLUSIONS! LOLOLOL

      Fuck you, Axis of Glib.

      1. LYNCH MOB!

        1. If the pointy hood fits…

          1. RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!

    2. all in SF’s head of course. the so-called lub-rahl media were all over DSK.

      1. SF appears to have his own persecution complex.

  17. Naomi Wolf asks- Is easy access to porn driving men crazy?

    If the great monster Frankenstein came face to face with the monster pornography, he would drop dead of fright!

    Also… where be Juan TorsoLargo, the bearded, South American, sextuplet of Johnny Longtorso?

    1. That is a meaty slice of stupid you found there.

      1. I try, SF, I try. When one day you see me posting on HnR, asking how one breathes, you’ll all know why.

    2. Better question: has men’s easy access to porn driven Naomi Wolf crazy crazier?

    3. No. But it’s obviously driven Wolf completely insane.

      1. Sorry, T. I obviously need a second cup of coffee.

        1. Me too, CN. Or I need to add some vodka to my morning V8. Either one would work, I think.

    4. No beer and all porn make Butts something something

    5. Yes, the stupid is quite strong in this one:

      “Six years ago, I wrote an essay called “The Porn Myth,” which pointed out that therapists and sexual counselors were anecdotally connecting the rise in pornography consumption among young men with an increase in impotence and premature ejaculation among the same population.”

      And, also:

      The hypothesis among the experts was that pornography was progressively desensitizing these men sexually.”

      You heard it, pr0n is responsible for some men being both a one-pump chump AND not being able to get it up..

  18. Yes, Women Have Body Hair
    http://www.theglobeandmail.com…..le2080049/

    1. There’s nothing wrong with a big ol’ bush. I can even tolerate pit hair. And a chick’s legs would have to be pretty damn hairy for it to feel worse than leg stubble.

      1. You are obviously some sort of sick reserve-pedophile.

        1. *reverse* sigh…

        2. I reserve my pedophilia for when it’s absolutely necessary.

        3. The Pedophile Reserve is this nation’s greatest weapon against terrorism.

          1. And a good album name.

      2. Im sorry but no, women should have hair on their heads only but south is negligible but legs and pits should be spotless.

      3. I agree Warty. I have never gotten the obsession with the bald eagle. Give me 70s chicks, with big natural puffy boobs and actual bushes any day.

          1. Holy god. I fucking hate people.

  19. A fresh local cop shooting. Dude goes to a 4th of July party at a cop’s house (bad fucking idea), possibly steals some shit, leaves. Cop follows him home, tases him, then kills him.

    Money shot:

    “No police officer ever wants to have to shoot someone, so I have to assume that if someone ends up firing on someone that he’s going to be justified in doing that,” said Capt. DeSimone.

    1. The Parma Police Department also said the male became combative with the officer and started physically fighting with him.

      That is some Pultizer Prize-level journalism right there.

      1. Cop: You stole some shit from my buddy’s house!
        Guy: No I didn’t!
        Cop: Yes you did, hand it over!
        Guy: No I didn’t, fuck you!
        Cop: STOP RESISTING! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

      2. Was it kung-fu fighting?

        1. During the course of the events he was tased by the officer but it did not have an effect.

          PCP! OMG!

          1. PCP is like that drug that turned the aliens into raging behemoths of death in Alien Nation.

          2. He didn’t have the right to lie twitching on the sidewalk and impede pedestrian traffic.

            1. If he had been parallel to the sidewalk it would have been okay, but he was perpindicular instead.

              1. Learn to park your carcass 12″ from the curb, and this kind of thing won’t happen

      3. I would like to nominate “they became combat” as the new “STOP RESISTING.”

        1. “They became COMBATIVE,” even.

    2. Fuck. Just fuck.

    3. […]”I have to assume that if someone ends up firing on someone that he’s going to be justified in doing that,”

      And I’m sure ‘civilians’ get the same consideration.

    4. The badge is very nearly a license to kill then? If I shoot you not only do you die, but irrefutably, you deserved it. Should we give cops this power? I think so. It makes us safer as a whole.

      1. The badge is very nearly a license to kill then?

        Remove “very nearly” and you are spot-on.

        1. All badge numbers now begin with “00”?

    5. They don’t want to shoot someone, but if the opportunity comes up they won’t say “no”, either.

  20. So, let me get this straight, DSK’s defense team have stipulated that he agreed to pay a random hotel maid for a blowjob and then he stiffed her and we’re not supposed to laugh when his friends and supporters describe him as charming and seductive.

    Ooooh-kay, then.

    1. So is he going to cop to a solicitation charge, or do we save those for anonymous johns?

    2. Stop jumping to conclusions, you right-wing Hitler monster.

      1. Is that “Hitler as a monster” as in, like, a 40ft Hitler with Nazi-laser eyes, or a monster that was built by Hitler and may or may not have Nazi-laser eyes?

        1. the former would make a better movie, the latter a mini-series.

          1. The miniseries would be about the tormented monsters emotions as a creature both outcast from society, and as a creature with a love for Wagner and bratwurst.

            1. Put it on HBO, and we’ll get some leather clad (and unclad) Nazi boobs in there as well.

        2. He got Heinrich Himmler stand off sighs,
          He’s got Nazi-laser eyes.

          1. Yes, very nice.

        3. I’m thinking something like a human Hitlerpede.

          1. Made of only Hitlers or just with Hitler as the first segment? And what about the Nazi-laser eyes?

            1. I think all segments would be Hitlers. It doesn’t make any sense for there to be Goering or Rhoem segments in there, does it?

              And I’m cool with the Nazi-laser eyes, but his nipples had better emit Zyklon-B.

              1. Clone Hitler. Sew clones mouth-to-ass. Install Nazi-laser eyes and poison gas nipples. Unleash on world.

                Man, we got a lot to do this weekend.

              2. Given that there are four legs per segment shouldn’t it be a human millipede?

    3. And we are also to assume he has the brains and impulse control of anything but a four year old. He is a powerful man with many enemies. But he is still such a degenerate that he can’t resist hiring and then stiffing some hotel maid for a blow job even though he knows that he has enemies who would love to set him up. Yeah, that is clearly the kind of guy I want in a position of great responsibility.

      1. Yeah, um, why do people talk about him running for high office? Isn’t even the innocent explanation a bit, well, scandalous?

      2. Ah, but John, otherwise, the French will have to elect Sarkozy, who’s also an asshole, or Le Penn’s daughter, who is racist or something.

        Yeah, French politics suck.

        1. u betcha! and take that old statue back fm ellis island

          1. Yeah, I’m not sure what that old thing has to do with America anymore.

      3. I fail to see the problem.

    4. Laugh all you want to, doofus – he’s still going to be elected president of France.

      1. In France, as in America, sometimes democracies get the leaders they deserve, unfortunately.

    5. I’ve lost the thread on Dominique. When exactly did he make the reservation for the flight to France? Was it before or after his encounter with the prosti-maid?

      Did he perhaps suddenly realize that he had stiffed a prostitute who, via her union, was mobbed up, and that fleeing the jurisdiction was the only prudent course?

  21. Well, here’s a reverse-Balko: RCMP officers get into bar fight with Hell’s Angels, and the Mounties are fired.
    http://www.winnipegfreepress.c…..74009.html

    1. Oh Canada… when will you learn?

    2. IIANM, in British Commonwealth law, an “absolute discharge” is when a judge declines to impose a conviction in spite of a defendants manifest guilt, generally through a guilty plea (in this case) though occasionally after a trial. Usually due to mitigating circumstances.

      It does not mean discharged in the sense of being fired. I am not entirely sure that they are always truly absolute either. I believe I’ve heard of judges imposing a term of good behavior, the violation of which could lead to the case being reopened.

      This story doesn’t say so but the implication is that the officers returned to their posts.

      Make no mistake, I think you’ll find the blue line holds just as true in Canada (or it it a red line for mounties).

      1. Ah got it. America jr. is all grown up after all.

        1. Ayup, in this case the mitigating circs seem to be the defendants red tunics.

  22. 15 attempts to make Hitler funny.

    You know who else tried to make German dictators funny?

    1. Charlie Chaplin?

    2. Walt Disney?

    3. Mel Brooks?

      1. Maybe I could have clicked the link and saved myself the trouble before commenting.

        1. Me too. Oops.

      2. Jack Benny did it 40 years before Mel Brooks.

    4. What? No Hogan’s Heroes?

      1. I thought it was Monty Python.

    5. Moe Howard?

    6. Every Downfall parody?

  23. Writers are not like you or me Pt. 1

    “My first muse was a chubby, bespectacled, brown-eyed, sharply intelligent 13-year-old boy in Phoenix, Arizona in 1975. When he laughed at and loved my writing, I felt the erotic surge of my own power. Since then, I’ve written for and about and to and because of men.”

    “Fifty-four bottles of Madeira; 60 bottles of claret; 8 bottles of old stock; 22 bottles of porter; 8 bottles of hard cider; 12 bottles of beer; and 7 large bowls of punch.” Another site adds: “the 16 musicians played their way through 7 more bowls of punch, 5 Madeira and 16 bottles of claret.” The Founding Father knew how to throw a fucking party.

  24. OK, I don’t know what to be pissed off at more.

    First off, it’s a dog, not a “K-9 officer.” Second, what charge would be brought against a “civilian” if they killed a police dog? Third, only when the police dog’s have a union will they be safe from the wanton disregard for their safety that is prevalent with their human masters counterparts on the force.

    Fortunately the comments offer me some fresh hope for mankind and their usual boot-licking reverence of the thick blue wall.

    1. Fuckit. I hope that guy gets the death penalty. In most states, dogs are officers. Killing one gets you the full weight of killing a sworn officer. Negligent homicide of a cop.

    2. The news story is written almost as a parody. Likewise your commentary. Nice touch with the never-used-enough “boot licking,” but where are the “pigs” and “jackbooted thugs” references? Not hateful enough. C+.

      1. mmmmmmmmm…cop cock…slurp….

        1. I finally got it! It’s a drawing from “Breakfast of Champions”!

          1. (Surely I’m not the first to notice the resemblance?”

            1. This one’s a little distended though. I draw my balloon knots tight.

              1. This one’s a little distended though.

                I guess he takes his leather starfish to Pound Town on a regular basis.

          2. I just thought it was a sea turtle.

  25. Spoiler-Free Book Report

    Read The Unincorporated War yesterday. The ideas remain intriguing and the rousing sentiment is certainly still there, but no advances in subtle characterization occur. The good guys are still really, really good and the bad guys are mostly motive-less monsters, too evil to be that clever. And if a bad character turns good, it’s mostly handled like flipping a switch. There are also still the same structural problems, especially with the pacing and flow of the plot from one scene to the next. The book is mostly action–specifically war in space between interplanetary ships and zero- or micro-gravity combat seen from the high-ranking officers POV–but it is sandwiched between political maneuvering and a few lingering plot threads that remain to be justified given how many pages they consume.

    I hate to be down on the books, because they are enjoyable–even engrossing–reads, but they are not well-written books as such and desperately needed an editor with a strong-hand and some vision. That being said, the commitment to principles libertarians share in the protagonist gives out a lot of “fuck yeah!” moments that we don’t get to see often portrayed in popular culture.

    I will continue on and read The Unincorporated Woman, the 3rd in the series, when it comes out in August.

    Warning: Do not look up info on The Unincorporated Woman lightly, the first Google hit that describes the book contains a massive spoiler for the series.

    1. I enjoyed the first one, so based on that and your recommendation, I’ll pick it up at some point. I have weighty tomes of non-fiction to finish and I’m piggy-backing the wife’s summer reading.

      1. I’m piggy-backing the wife’s summer reading

        Kinky.

    2. Well put. I read the same recently. Love the ideas, but agree that the writing is second rate. However, it is still a much gentler introduction to the concept of self-ownership and the logical consequences of same than anything else I’ve read.

    3. Yours and others descriptions of the series have pretty much guaranteed I will never read them. I consider that a job well done on your part.

      On a related note, I started rereading A Deepness in the Sky over the weekend – a libertarian novel that should be read by all of you.

      And on a distantly related note, Ive been dvring Angel reruns on TNT. I never watched it during its original run (well, I saw a few episodes) but am somewhat enjoying it. Im almost done with season 4 and it is interesting, as they took a robc inspired “Fuck Utilitarianism” approach to the big bad of season 4. Basically a “power” manipulated herself into being born so she could take over the planet and be worshipped. But, she made everyone happy and eliminated war and crime and etc. All in exchange for eating a dozen or so people per day.

      A tradeoff I would expect MNG to support. The Angel crew has basically acknowledged that they valued freedom over world peace.

      1. Also Season 4 of Angel reminds me of Season 5 of Buffy. Bitch gods make for awful bad guys. Weakest season of both shows.

      2. I love Deepness, but just because the message is (almost literally) “fuck off, slavers”, I’m not sure I take it as libertarian. The good guys were just as happy to use all the power at their disposal to manipulate others to gain more power, they just had a more realistic idea of what could and could not be done with power. Maybe there is more to the redemption of Pham Nguyen than I recall, but I never thought of any of the sides as libertarian.

        1. 1. “Fuck off slavers” may be the central tenet of libertarianism. 🙂

          2. It one the prometheus award. Yeah, yeah, lots of dubious libertarian novels won it too.

          3. It doesnt describe a libertopia, but its filled with libertarian themes. And some anarchist ones too.

          [minor spoilers ahead]

          The whole culture based on trading that lasts magnitudes longer than any planetary based society.

          Sura’s understanding that the Pham’s intersteller empire couldnt work and would be evil if it did.

          Pham’s redemption. Its not just a rejection of slavery, but the whole concept of a singular society. And him giving up any kind of “rule”.

          Yeah, not all of the Qeng Ho were pure libertarian, some wanted to attack the Emergents first, but notice they couldnt get that thru the trade council. As a general rule, they didnt take power, they traded for it. If they ripped off their customers sometimes, so be it. But really, seemed like they traded honorably, it was what made the trading culture work.

          1. “”Fuck off slavers” may be the central tenet of libertarianism. :)”

            One of the really well-done parts of the Unincorporated books is showing just how subtle slavery can be, and that the voluntary nature of some slaves does not make slavery morally acceptable.

            On all of the other points, I will submit that it must be time for me to re-read Deepness. Just as soon as I finish Rule 34.

            1. You’re spot on, Brett. We called that subtle slavery you refer to above a “dictatorship of the content.” In fact the entire point of the Unincorporated Series is a search for the answer of “What price freedom?” And I’ll suppose, ultimately, is the price paid really worth it (as it keeps getting higher in terms of lives and tragedy). IMHO, yes – obviously. But you’d be surprised how many readers have written to us wondering why the series protagonist didn’t just leave it all be — just shut up about the overrated freedom thing and go make babies. I guess it really does come down to “fuck off slavers.” 😉

    4. I’ll put it on my list. I have to make it through The Portable Atheist first, and I also picked up a bunch of volumes of William Blake. It takes too much damn time to read culture-books.

  26. .. I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for
    $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by f3dex. I will never again pay expensive r3tailprices at stores.I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get.Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, BuzzSave.com……

  27. Can someone more erudite give me “Fuck off, slaver” in Latin? The online translator declined to translate “Fuck off”.

    1. Efutue servus dominum!

      1. This is, I hasten to add, a guess.

  28. Casey Anthony verdict is in;

    First degree murder – not guilty

    Manslaughter – not guilty

    Lying to the police – guilty

    Knew everyone was dying to know.

    1. Our long national nightmare is over.

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