"Vader has left the economy in a sorry state with the construction of this so called 'death star'"


If you missed Slate's be-rill-yunt New York Times parody yesterday, you didn't miss much and shouldn't bother clicking through. Instead, you should read this from the Galactic Empire Times: "Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says."

The lede: 

CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, "Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!" In the alien protection zone, crowds sang "The Ten Thousand Year Empire." Throughout the Sah'c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night.

And the comments: