Reason Morning Links: Libyan Rebels Want Air Strikes, Congress Funds the Government for Two More Weeks, Pope Exonerates the Jews

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  1. Oh gee, thanks, Mr. Pope. I was worried you would still hold me responsible for something that happened 2000 years ago at the hands of Romans.

    1. You voted to free Barabbas didn’t you? Didn’t you!?

      I forgive you.

      1. I want Reason’s take on Vernon, CA.

      2. Unless the vote to free Barabbas led to you being killed, I dont think you have standing to forgive.

        Things that piss me off (condensed version):

        1. People apologizing for things they didnt do. I didnt own slaves, Im not apologizing for it.

        2. People who forgive people when they werent harmed by the act.

        1. I’m sorry you feel this way, but through the teachings of Jesus Christ I have learned compassion for wayward souls such as yours. I know that someday you will turn back to the light and embrace God’s love.

          I forgive you.

          1. IIRC, robc is a born again Christian.

            1. Which makes this exchange extra amusing. That pancakes character sure does look foolish.

      3. Elections have CONSEQUENCES

    2. It things exactly like this that make me a self-hating gentile.

    3. Meh, old news.

      the Vatican issued its most authoritative document on the issue in 1965…by saying Christ’s death could not be attributed to Jews as a whole at the time or today

      1. Yeah, I was pretty sure this was already done.

    4. Ive never understood the whole “blame the Jews” thing anyway. The NT seems pretty clear that the blame lies on everyone. Sin requires a blood sacrifice, if we fuckers hadnt gone around sinning, it wouldnt have happened.

      1. I thank the Jews every day that they killed Jesus; now I don’t have to make that ultimate sacrifice. Plus that’s a lot of wasted sacrificial lambs that can now be made into delicious gyros.

      2. If “the Jews” hadn’t killed Jesus, he never would have become The Christ. He would have remained just another rabbi, lost to time. Instead, he became the unwitting head of a massive cult that, among other atrocities over the years, had an active hand in murdering lots of Jews. So “the Jews” should have the nice, modern, civilized and peaceful Christians’ sympathies, not scorn.

    5. Give them a break, the Vatican is like surfing the internet with dial up, it takes forever to do anything.

      GOD HATES SCOTUS: THEY RULE 8-1 FOR FRED “GOD HATES FUNERALS” PHELPS.
      http://libertarians4freedom.bl…..or-of.html

      1. Free speech, it hurts your brain.

  2. Wisconsin legislature considering a bill to ban prank phone calls.

    The Kochs are behind that; I just know it.

  3. Fetus link is me’d.

      1. Fetuses are saving Cleveland?

        1. What’s the diff between a fetus and Cleveland?

          You can fix a fetus.

          1. What’s the difference between a fetus and rather?

            A fetus has more potential.

            1. What’s the difference between a fetus and rather?

              People are often sad when they hear that a fetus died.

              1. What’s the difference between a fetus and rather?

                So much for not feeding the trolls.

            2. What’s the difference between a fetus and rather?

              People aren’t blocking the sidewalk with giant pictures of rather’s mangled corpse as I try to get to work?

              ———————-
              ot

              I tried to buy one of those giant cardboard dead fetus signs from some protesters one time…I guess they are not for sale.

              1. I tried to buy one of those giant cardboard dead fetus signs from some protesters one time…I guess they are not for sale.

                That would have been a fetal mistake.

                1. you clearly have a Fetal Attraction

            3. the salty brine

              1. We have a winner.

                1. Disabetic Robin Reason Hood of the Wizard of Oz and with his merry troop of masturbating munchkins are having fun-god it must be awful to follow a dying dear leader but I guess you pick-up his shedding appendages as souvenirs

                  1. What’s the difference between a fetus and rather?

                    A fetus has moments of coherence.

                    1. I love how clubhouse/I hate girls you all are-I get the last laugh

                    2. So you are a gay male then? Are you Carson Kressly?

        2. Cleveland rocks! Go Tribe!

          1. hahaha, wow. nice trollin’

    1. John Edwards used to channel zombie fetuses all the time in court.I think he was making it up. Fetuses have strong self-interest in representing for TEAM RED.

    1. That was uncalled for. I’ll be in my Jeep… with Suki.

      1. That’s a rare frame preserved from the live action sequel to Animal Farm:

        Animal Farm 2: This Time It’s Not So Subtle.

        1. That’s a rare frame preserved from the live action sequel to Animal Farm:

          Animal Farm 2: This Time It’s Not So Subtle.

          I thought it was from Animal Farm 3: Rise of the Porcines.

          1. You know, in Japan that was released under the title: Trichinosis Super War Academy.

    2. The photo with Stalin, FDR, & Churchill is a bit misleading. FDR was utterly worthless in dealing with Stalin, but Churchill knew better.

  4. Can you imagine [The Herc] w/ direct access to your brain?
    Cyborg brains: The next [evolutionary] step

    Jim Wallis and the Dangers of [Heresy]
    …And to pretend that the budget Jesus would bless just happens to be at the current discretionary spending levels rather than, say, what they were in 2008, is close to offensive.

    The Christian ethicist Paul Ramsey wrote, “Identification of Christian social ethics with specific partisan proposals that clearly are not the only ones that may be characterized as Christian and as morally acceptable comes close to the original New Testament meaning of heresy”….

    1. For every Government consists of mere men and is, strictly viewed, a makeshift; it it adds to its commands ‘Thus sayeth the Lord’, it lies, and lies dangerously — C. S. Lewis

  5. In honor of the dearly departed Hercule Triathalon whatever, I hereby move we change our running H&R reference to:

    tow the [lion]

    1. ..and declare Wednesday to be random square [bracket] day.

    2. What happened to Herc?

      1. His [posts] mysteriously disappeared due to censorship by the American-Israeli [Military] Empire.

        Or Reason just got sick of the crazy.

        1. Or Reason just got sick of the crazy.

          Couldn’t be that, the bipolar dude who pretends to be a girl is still here. You just responded to he/she/it.

          1. Rather is Suki?

            1. Nah… Suki is far, far thinner.

              1. WTF, so I’ve gone from being raped by daddy to pretending I’m a girl-fun

                1. I’LL PLAY

                  SugarFree suck my dick
                  Helle lick my ass
                  Epi shave my ass

                2. They have a pill for that.

                  1. Actually a gun would work better.

                    1. Even if I were a boy, I don’t think I ‘d want to be fucked with a gun

                    2. Try it. And don’t forget to load it and cock the hammer first.

                    3. that’s the man’s job

                    4. Well, dude, get to workin’! So pathetic.

        2. I’m pretty sure only death threats ? la that Walid al-Hindi guy get blocked.

          A Google search turns up some somewhat lucid commentary on the price of oil from yesterday. He needs to get back here. Truly one of our more talented trolls.

      2. What happened to Herc?

        The kochtopus silenced him.

        1. I like his comments-they were ‘funcrazy’

          1. But too long.

    3. Banhammer? What did I miss? Ive had him incifed since about his 3rd post.

      1. I don’t know if there’s a total banhammer yet, but they have been deleting his posts in almost real time.

      2. I thought “incifying” meant never having to ask what you’ve missed.

  6. Wisconsin legislature considering a bill to ban prank phone calls.

    You have all of the Democrat Senators out of the state, and this is the legislation you consider passing in their absence??? Why haven’t they just reworked the union-busting bill so that it’s non-financial and then pass the same resolutions?

    1. Why haven’t they just reworked the union-busting bill so that it’s non-financial and then pass the same resolutions?

      I’m not 100%, but their senate rules may not allow for an ObamaCare “newklar option” reconciliation.

      1. Ok. I thought it was just bills that involved money or finances had to have at least one opposing party member at the vote. Which begs the question of what would happen if by some strange miracle an entire party controlled the Senate? Would that prevent any spending bills from being passed?

        1. It’s not that they need an opposing member, it’s that they need 20 for it to be a quorum, and there are only 19 Republicans.

          1. Exactly, or else one R could just change to D for a day and pass the thing.

          2. Ahhh that makes way more sense. The way the reports have all phrased it they emphasized that they needed a Democrat there for the vote to take place, not necessarily that they just needed a 20th voter.

            thanks for clearing that up.

          3. How long until the Governor can step in and assign “temporary” Senators to replace the ones who have abdicated their responsibilities?

            1. That would be the funniest picket-line-crossing ever.

    2. They can’t pass ANYTHING until some of those D senators get back, because without them, they don’t have a quorum and can’t convene.

      1. Not true. They can’t pass finance bills without a quorum of 20. They can pass other stuff, and I believe they have.

        I’m not sure why they can’t pass the collective bargaining stuff as a stand-alone. I think I saw that the Assembly already had, so I think its teed up. Its probably a close parliamentary question.

        As a political calculation Walker may figure that he’s better off sidelining that for now and going ahead with a budget that fires people instead, and hang the blame for the firings on the absent Dems.

        1. As a political calculation Walker may figure that he’s better off sidelining that for now and going ahead with a budget that fires people instead, and hang the blame for the firings on the absent Dems.

          True, and he can also blame the greedy senior teachers that would not accept reductions in their benefits so the young teachers could stay employed. I am convinced authoritarian occupations thrive on cannibalism.

          I’m looking at you, Police Unions.

          1. Fucking Cops. Yesterday, during rush hour in Minneapolis, a fucking cop car — lights flashing, sans cop — was blocking 2 lanes of one of the busiest streets downtown. It was causing one hell of a traffic jam. After about 20 minutes of this shit, I called 911 and told them to move the fucker as there was no reason in the world it needed to be there.

            Fucking God damn cops.

            1. …there was no reason in the world it needed to be there.

              Was it in front of a donut shop?

        2. Maybe because by adamantly insisting that their efforts are “fiscal” in nature, even to the point of undermining the effort to pass the bill, they help defend themselves against charges of “union busting”?

          I don’t know if they’re that clever, though, and I doubt it would work anyway.

  7. Hey Ratzi,

    Thanks for finally admitting that your own book says quite clearly that Jesus was killed by a pack of Romans acting on the orders of the Roman governor.

    Love,

    The Hebrews.

    1. Jeez, you’re touchy about this. Almost like you feel guilty or something.

      1. Almost like you feel guilty or something.

        Jews? Guilt trips? Meh, that’s only for Catholics…

        1. then you aren’t a Jew

          1. My Mother’s Italian, My Father’s Jewish & I’m In Therapy!

  8. Which one of you was at the NH Committee hearings on criminalizing TSA Patdowns<?a>?

    “After the hearing, Rep. Laura Pantelakos (D-Portsmouth) told the man that he does not need to get on an airplane if he doesn’t want to. ‘That is your choice,’ she said.

    ‘F?K you!’ the man barked back, though the comment was bleeped out by WMUR.”

    1. Politicians finally getting the respect they deserve. I like it.

    2. The man’s reply should have been that Representative Pantelakos doesn’t have to be a braindead cocksucker; that’s her choice.

    3. In a perfect world, politician would be a job nobody wants b/c it pays little to nothing, requires long nights and weekend hours, no real power, and thankless.

      We’re getting close to thankless.

      1. In a perfect world, politician would be a job nobody wants b/c it pays little to nothing, requires long nights and weekend hours, no real power, and thankless.

        I would think a perfect world would only involve about 2 weeks of legislating a year…

      2. In a perfect world, politician would be a job nobody wants b/c it pays little to nothing, requires long nights and weekend hours, no real power, and thankless.

        You have described the perfect job description of a toll booth attendant.

    4. It becomes a little less cool when you realize Pantelakos is 76 years old [and senile?].

      But only a little.

      1. Maybe she shouldn’t fucking be a representatvie then. “Fuck you” or some equivalent is always germane to a conversation where someone tells you to shut up and take it or go home.

        1. This.

          Rep. Pantelakos, you don’t have to be a legislator- that’s your choice. Don’t like it? Then feel free to go fuck yourself with a running chainsaw.

    5. What part of the state’s motto does Rep Pantelakos not understand?

    6. “Things got ugly in Concord Tuesday after a hearing on a bill to place TSA officials who engage in random pat-downs and body scans on the state’s sexual predator registry.”

      That is awesome.

  9. welcome to 2012! and in this corner we have w the abortion wars in ohio designed to foam-up n fund-raise the wingnuts.

    1. Put on your Way-Back Spectacles, folks… trawling the archives yesterday, I figured out who this is: max hats.

      Please don’t feed the old trolls.

      1. How do you figure it out? Are you looking at the posts/spelling/grammar or is it something more insidious?

        1. Spelling, length, word choice, and formatting are fairly much the same. A little more retarded than max hats, but the lame attempts at humor are very similar.

          1. Jack Cashill?

              1. Bill, have you finished my memoirs of the first year yet?

        2. or is it something more insidious?

          Mr. Free is a professional archivist and etymologist.

          1. etymologist

            The study of insects? That would explain the interest in trolls.

          2. Mr. Free is a professional archivist, etymologist, asshole and I’m his whore

            1. Ah, rather changed her name again. If only she could change the tragic life circumstances that brought her to his low state as easily.

            2. Shut the fuck up, rectal, you stupid cunt.

      2. There must be an online tool that analyzes textual similarity, right, libraroman? We should use it as part of our anti-troll arsenal.

        1. There’s Turnitin, but the really good ones seem to be pay software for universities.

      3. sorry not max hats…sherlock

        1. I knew that-Sug is an idiot who thinks he isn’t- the most amusing type

          1. Irony, how does it work?

      4. Speaking of stupid things:

        http://www.news-leader.com/art…..dyssey=tab

        1. The $43,000 price tag is steep, but Hammar said a $7,500 tax credit helps reduce the overall cost of the car.

          Awesome. Just awesome.

          1. Chad would give the Volt owner a blowjob.

  10. The Greek Burial Crisis

    Yet with land a valuable resource in Greece, the state requires the recycling of cemetery space. Some permanent plots are still available?but they can cost up to 150,000 euros (more than $200,000). If you can’t afford this extravagance, you must rent a grave, and only for a maximum of three years. By law, once that time is up, a relative must appear at the gravesite to witness a cemetery worker (no priest is present) dig up the grave, exhume the body (often not fully decomposed), pry it from the coffin, and then collapse the bones into a container roughly the size of a shoebox for storage in a communal ossuary.

    1. I’m sharing that link. Thank you.

    2. Great movie idea: My Big Fat Greek Funeral and Disinterment And Reinternment in Ossuary.

      Or maybe it should be a trilogy?

    3. I will never understand western death rituals. It’s a Goddam empty container. I can forgive the Neanderthals for mixing up the physical body with an afterlife, but 21st century people? If there’s a soul, it has long departed by time you get around to planting the corpse.

      1. Hey now! I’ve recently learned that I am part Neanderthal. Your comment frightens and confuses me.

      2. Besides, some Western funerary practices are glorious. And available to you for a low, low price!

    4. Then they should just go all Varangian and have a floating pyre. Stupid fucking Greeks.

      And I guess I need to link this if I mentioned Varangians.

    5. Never trust a Greek from behind, or in a cemetery.

      Nah, doesn’t really work.

      1. Beware of gifts bearing Greeks!

    6. Something I have occasionally pondered is what will happen to real estate as more and more of it gets devoted to cemeteries. I kind of assumed we wouldn’t be digging up courses as the answer.

      1. I live next to a cemetery. They are not filling up in this country because more and more people are going with cremation.

        1. That, or more of the dead are, um, well, undead.

        2. But even if just 1 American a year chooses to be buried, then the cemeteries ARE filling up, unless we start digging people.

  11. In the Middle East, handholding between men is a common gesture of friendship. But when President Bush walked hand-in-hand with the Saudi king at his ranch in Texas in 2005, it caused a few tongues to wag.


    I can’t believe King Abdullah was caught holding hands with dictator.

  12. Do you think all the former presidents, secretaries of state, and other diplomats are still facebook friends with Mubarek?

    Or does facebook let you wuss out and be secret friends with someone?

  13. Although representatives deny any connection to the recent prank call on the governor, two legislators began circulating a bill Monday that would ban making trick calls masking the caller’s true identity.

    I’m so glad the Wisconsin legislature has solved the budget problems, eliminated violent crime and fixed Milwaukee’s public schools so they have time for pressing matters like this.

  14. Wisconsin legislature considering a bill to ban prank phone calls

    Shouldn’t that be prank calls to elected officials? I mean, seriously, why would they give a shit about prank calls to civilians?

    1. Yep. They violated the “thou shalt not get away with embarrassing a politician in public” agreement which underlies about 90% of all laws. Now all must pay.

  15. Wisconsin legislature considering a bill to ban prank phone calls

    So they finally got around to hearing a Jerky Boys cassette. Huh.

    1. Frank Rizzo, R-I-Z-Z-O, Rizzo, you fucking milky licker!

      1. “Listen up, there, beefy tits!”

        1. I start tomorrow! Want me to bring my fuckin’ tools?”

  16. As I have suggested previously, the Wisconsin legislature should get to work on a “shall issue” concealed carry law.

    If nothing else, it would get the Democrats’ caucus-in-exile back in their seats.

    1. Seems like the GOP senators should at least be carrying.

    2. Why would legislation the Democrats bitterly oppose cause them to want to come back and create a quorum that allows said legislation to pass?

      1. I’ve heard that that particular quorum requirement only applies to financial bills.

        1. This is true. The Repubs should be gavelling through their entire agenda now, while they can do so without Dem amendments and grandstanding.

          1. Abortion isn’t a financial matter. Neither is deregulation. I’m sure they could think up a few measures to scare at least one Democrat back into the legislature.

            1. And if the Dems don’t come back, they get a bunch of bills passed easily. Seems like a win-win to me.

            2. Where are all of the protesting regulators and restaurant inspectors? Why do we not hear about them?

            3. “Abortion isn’t a financial matter.”

              Often it is, which is why forced abortions by the federal government are permissable under the commerce clause.

              1. Just threaten to ban it without addressing anything fiscal.

            4. It needs to be shit that doesn’t alienate swing voters, though, since there’s no one else to share the blame.

      2. prole – you are a little confused. WI requires that a certain number (2/3rds, I believe) be present when voting on fiscal legislation. As a “shall issue” bill would not be fiscal, the Rs could pass it on their own.

  17. Rebel leaders in eastern Libya called Tuesday for international military intervention to help topple Moammar Gaddafi, as the realization dawned that people power alone may not be enough to dislodge their nation’s autocratic leader from his last remaining strongholds.

    France, Germany, Japan, go for it.

    I’m recommending that the US avoids hogging all the glory that comes with bombing the crap out a third world military regime that has no credible air defenses.

    Been there, done that.

    1. I heard the Russians just spent upwards of $600B on new military shit, maybe we should let them try it out.

      1. Speaking of Russia:

        http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201103020009

        Oh, noes! Someone dissed the IRS! We is doom’d!

  18. I believe the correct internet meme for this is: And Not a Fuck was Given on That Day.

    “The confirmation Tuesday that Newt Gingrich will explore a run for president was greeted by official Washington with a mixture of indifference, excitement and a general prediction that the former Speaker can’t win.”

    1. It’s because he didn’t change his name to Newcular Titties. That would have caused a stir and increased interest in the campaign.

      But nooooo, nobody in the ‘Newt” camp will listen to their ol’ buddy CapEl.

      1. If he’d accept this freely given advice, he’d be sitting in the Oval Office in 2013. Guaranteed.

    2. His chance was 2008, and he didn’t even try to run then.

    3. It was the awkwardness of Washington officials trying to envision “Newkular Titties” on a campaign banner.

      1. Four fucking minutes. Damn.

        1. Life is a game of inches, or minutes or something…

          /awkwardsportsmetaphor

  19. Things got ugly in Concord Tuesday after a hearing on a bill to place TSA officials who engage in random pat-downs and body scans on the state’s sexual predator registry.

    ……

    The man made a point of overemphasizing the word “submit.”

    -from Brett L’s link

    That is some fine reporting; that boy’s mamma should be proud.

  20. Mere days after passing budget for remainder of fiscal year that cut a paltry $60 billion, House republicans cave in to liberal media pressure to avoid shutdown and pass a two week continuing resolution that allegedly cuts $4 billion.

    I guess this is America now: the government operates one continuing resolution at a time.

    1. Did you even read the posted links?

  21. h/t Radley’s other blog

    http://i.imgur.com/7gplU.jpg

    it’s funneh! and def SFW.

    1. There’s the blood of 17 victims of capitalism on your iPad.

      1. No, dude, my iPad cover is made from the skin of a single poor infant.

    1. Hi-fucking-larious. Has to be a joke-site, just has to be.

      1. Shh.

        An ideal place for such a court in the Islamic State of America would be the obselete United Nations Headquarters based in New York. As the authority and soverignty of the United Nations is not recognised by the Shari’ah of Islam, its headquarters would no longer be welcome on the shores of the Islamic State of America. However the buildings, originally completed in 1952 and spanning an 18-acre site on the East side of Manhattan would be an ideal location to host the Islamic Court.

      2. In Islam, the public veneration of idols and statues is strictly prohibited. This has forced sincere Muslims to develop realistic plans that will aid in the removal of the Statue of Liberty.

        Due to the scale of the task at hand, it is highly likely that rigorous safety checks will need to be employed before the demolition of the Statue of Liberty can commence; thus as a temporary measure, it is proposed that a large burkha is used to cover the statue, thereby shielding this horrendous eye sore from public view as well as sending a strong message to its French creators.

        1. Now I’m waiting for the fatwa on the Golden Girls.

      3. Sure to be swallowed hook, line and sinker by mouthbreathing idiots across Christendom Appalachia.

        1. Yeah… or not?

      4. Hi-fucking-larious. Has to be a joke-site, just has to be.

        Or someone had just found Walid ah-Hindi’s blog or something.

    2. “…it is highly likely that rigorous safety checks will need to be employed before the demolition of the Statue of Liberty can commence; thus as a temporary measure, it is proposed that a large burkha is used to cover the statue…”
      Now THAT’S comedy.

      1. Beaten to the punch again.
        Wa-wa-wa.

      2. I had a dream last night that I had a gigantic gun that used The Washington Monument as a bullet.

        I can’t imagine what the meaning of that dream could possibly be.

        1. I trust it was a rail gun.

          1. Yes. The batteries were two enormous spheres on either side of the base of the gun.

            What could it mean?

            1. It means rectal really did get to you.

            2. I’m pretty sure Sarah can help you get to the root of your problem. (Probably NSFW.)

              (Props to John.)

        2. I had a dream last night that I had a gigantic gun that used The Washington Monument as a bullet.

          I can’t imagine what the meaning of that dream could possibly be.

          Hmmm….vas ze Lincoln Tunnel in zis dream?

    3. Here’s the give away that it’s a fake site.

      http://shariah4america.com/Was…..aedophiles

      Everyone know that that’s not much of a crime to muslims.

      1. How do they feel about the [Golden] Girls?

    4. There is no copyright under Islam, all material may be used freely without any consent to Shariah4America.com

      1. Well, they just picked up the support of half the libertarians, as well as the entire hipster douchebag community and 4chan.

        1. and 4chan.

          They already had the 4channers. When they heard the little ditty about Aysha and Muhammad [PissingBowlsUponHim], they were hooked.

  22. Wow, this makes a lot of sense.

    anon-web-tools.tk

  23. Off-topic, even for morning links, but a dumbass cop in the campus police department for the university where I work sent an email about his son’s high school wrestling team fundraiser to ALL 11,000 EMPLOYEES IN THE UNIVERSITY.

    Fucking email, how does it work??

    1. The way to deal with this is to send him a fuck-you reply, possibly using goatse. Make sure to click the “reply to all” button.

      1. Please, BCC me on that.

      2. Reply All
        Subject: Wrestling Fundraiser

        Dear dude:

        I will give you $100 for every picture you post on the company intranet of a member of your son’s team delivering a “shocker”

        ————
        After he does that report him for kiddie porn. End of dude.

    2. That’s happened to me a bunch of times. Companies are no better than universities (well, probably worse).

      The worst is when you get about 20 replies after that which all contain some variant of “I am not sure that I’m supposed to be on this email.” The best reply thus far has been “SCHNELLER!!!”. I recommend that.

      1. I don’t remember the issue but we had a guy here last year at my company of 600 people reply to all on an email from the CEO saying “Is this a joke?” The CEO replied to all “No, this is not a joke.”

  24. Benedict uses a biblical and theological analysis to explain why it is not true that the Jewish people as a whole were responsible for Jesus’ death.

    After all, it was you and Me.

  25. Hey guys it’s me Bob Barr! Keep up the good work, I’ll be watching.

  26. sent an email about his son’s high school wrestling team fundraiser to ALL 11,000 EMPLOYEES IN THE UNIVERSITY.

    I advise you to google “wrestler sexual assault” and forward any and all stories to him, and everybody he sent his tin cup rattling e-mail to.

    1. I’m SO not googling that.

      1. Oh, PLEEZE?

  27. “While use of spoofing is said to have some legitimate uses, it can also be used to frighten, harass and potentially defraud,” Lazich and Honadel said in an e-mail to legislators.

    We would also like to emphasize that the possibility we may not be cohabitating with sheep is an undisputed fact.

  28. http://jammiewearingfool.blogs…..erapy.html

    Now this is a business model.

    1. “She’s using the word therapy here, but I don’t consider this therapy,” said Diana Kirschner, a New York-based clinical psychologist. “I consider this interactive soft-core Internet porn.”

      In a psych class in college, we once talked about treatments for perverts. One therapy was called “masturbatory satiation” and was nothing more than jacking off to pictures of your perversion until you were fucking sick of it. So porn is therapy as long as no one enjoys it, I guess. Fucking puritan dickheads.

    2. Now *that* is entrepreneurship. The glasses are great.

      1. “Click Sarah to enter.” Just wonderful.

    3. Not licensed?!?!?! SHUT HER DOWN!!!

  29. Why would legislation the Democrats bitterly oppose cause them to want to come back and create a quorum that allows said legislation to pass?

    Just imagine the outrage in the base: “They didn’t even try to stop this- now we’ll all be gunned down!!!! The streets will run knee deep with bloooooooood!!!!!!!”

    1. It’s the Second Coming, bitches.

    2. I’ve played Resident Evil. It’s always the dogs first. Even worse, they’re fast zombies.

  30. was nothing more than jacking off to pictures of your perversion until you were fucking sick of it.

    “Thanks to the internet, I’m now bored with sex.”

    1. Yet another reason we should be able to pull the plug. Uh, you know what we mean.

  31. Pope clears Jews of killing Christ.

    What’s the big fucking deal? It was just Jew on Jew crime.

  32. Awkward dictator photos? How about Roosevelt and Stalin? Yeah, if we hadn’t allied with Stalin, Hitler would have conquered Eastern Europe and exterminated millions of Poles, Slavs, Jews, and other “subhumans,” but at least we wouldn’t have those embarrassing photos to look at. Sorry, foreign affairs aren’t pretty.

    1. Spoken like a true neo-con.

    2. This is right, if the US hadn’t provided material support to Middle East dictators like Mubarek and Saddam Hussein, the Middle East might now be under the rule of dictators like Mubarek and Qadaffi.

    3. Alan, your “analysis” isn’t even wrong. Operation Barbarossa had effectively stalled by the time the United States was drawn into the war. If anything, our alliance with the Soviet Union is what caused the Soviets to conquer much of Eastern Europe and hold it until 1989.

      1. Or the war would have taken longer and the Soviets would have had Western Europe too. There was no way the UK would have invaded France without US support

    4. Hitler wouldn’t have been able to conquer several of these places without the Molotov-von Ribbentrop Pact.

      1. Stalin knew that the Molotov-Ribbentrop pacts was BS. The baffling part is why the Red Army was still on peacetime footing when the Eastern Front opened, despite the fact that Stalin knew war with Nazi Germany was inevitable.

        Regardless, however, Alan’s shallowness is showing again, highlighting the tragedy that is reason‘s strange love affair with him.

        1. I was always given to understand that Stalin ordered his Generals to move out of their prepared defensive lines in Russia to secure newly conquered Poland (which of course favored offensive operations on the part of the Germans), Why Stalin ever agreed to Molotov-Ribbentrop is completely befuddling.

    5. Exactly! If we hadn’t allied with Stalin, we wouldn’t have rounded up all those refugees from the USSR and Yugoslavia and sent them back home to be executed or sent to gulags.

      Oh wait, I guess that means I disagree with you.

  33. if we hadn’t allied with Stalin, Hitler would have conquered Eastern Europe and exterminated millions of Poles, Slavs, Jews, and other “subhumans,”

    And then, before they had time to recover, we could have entered the field of combat and bayoneted all the survivors!

    TOTAL GLOBAL DOMINATION FTW!!1

    1. we shud hav allied wif hitler instead cause he would of shared more of the jew golds wif us. do u think it wuz a gud idea to even go into that war and save france and england from a hitler. fuck man things cud hav ben so much better.

    1. Yeah, I got an AP news alert about that one just a few minutes ago. I eagerly await the shitstorm, but did anyone really think the SCOTUS would muffle Westboro Baptist? 8-1 sounds about right. Who was the lone dissent? My money’s on either Scalia or Alito.

          1. And the winner is:

            Our profound national commitment to free and open debate is not a license for the vicious verbal assault that occurred in this case.

            Samuel A. Alito

            1. I read his dissent. His argument was almost entirely emotional. I am dissapoint.

  34. Barney Fucking Frank- +10 for calling for defense spending cuts today, -568 calling for that money to be spent on more cops for his constituents.

    1. Barney Fucking Frank- +10 for calling for defense spending cuts today, -568 calling for that money to be spent on more cops for his constituents.

      To Barney, and to be fair, most congressscum, a “cut” means funneling money from one area of spending to another. Remember, this is one half of the dynamic duo that brought us Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac. The idea of reducing spending then full stop is sacreligious to them.

      1. And next to Waters, he looks like a fiscal hero- “Why don’t banks give black people some of that money they got?”

  35. SPLC report labels socially conservative, Christian orgs as ‘anti-gay’ hate groups but Muslim orgs are just fab-u-lous!

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/03…..z1FSOHUgtd

    The SPLC says an anti-gay hate group is one which states homosexuality is corrupting society and defames the gay community by disseminating information that the SPLC considers to be unfounded.

    For instance, the SPLC’s report, which also monitors groups such as the Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazis, takes issue with the traditional marriage stance espoused by groups such as the Family Research Council (FRC), a Washington, D.C.-based think tank that advocates socially conservative values. Schwartz said the FRC’s inclusion in the report was unwarranted and ideological.

    “To call the Family Research Council a hate group is unacceptable,” Schwartz said. “It’s inaccurate. It’s using the phrase in an ideological way.”

    Among the Muslim groups that escaped being named in the report as an anti-gay hate group, like the conservative FRC, is the Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA), which is outspoken in its condemnation of homosexual lifestyles. Its website calls same-sex relationships a “deviation” from Allah’s laws and refers to homosexuality as “ignorance.”

    “There are divine laws for faith groups to adhere to and accept,” said Naeem Baig, ICNA vice president.

    Baig said religious groups of any faith should not be labeled hate groups for their beliefs unless they actually promote violence or hate.

    The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) has also been unequivocal in its moral rejection of homosexuality, yet it too was not to be found in SPLC’s report. In a 2006 Religion News Service story, Muzammil Siddiqi, a former president of ISNA who later served on its board of directors, said, “Homosexuality is a moral disorder. It is a moral disease, a sin and corruption . . . No person is born homosexual, just like no one is born a thief, a liar or murderer. People acquire these evil habits due to a lack of proper guidance and education.”

    1. The SPLC thinks any random group of three or more non-liberals = “hate group”, though they do include the New Black Panthers – no doubt just to make the SPLC appear “non-partisan”.

    2. To be fair, Christian groups rarely send suicide bombers to kill people who criticize them, and the SPLC are all craven cowards. So really, it makes sense.

    3. Your excerpts are getting longer and longer. Why link at all? Go solid wall of text. You know you want to. Do it. Do it!

  36. Pope clears Jews of killing Christ.

    Finally!
    Phew!

    1. If he didn’t stay dead, can anyone really be held responsible?

      1. “Could Christ murder himself so thoroughly that even HE couldn’t resurrect himself?”

        “Well sir, of course, he could, but then again… wow, as melon-scratchers go that’s a honey-doodle.”

    2. Pope clears Jews of killing Christ.

      What!
      Damm!

  37. Some Libyan rebels calling for foreign air strikes.

    Foreign = the US???
    Please don’t disturb the wasps.

    1. We can’t make a decent TV anymore, but we can bomb the shit out of your country!

  38. Hitler would have conquered Eastern Europe and exterminated millions of Poles, Slavs, Jews, and other “subhumans,”

    So we gave that job to Stalin. He looked less faggy than Hitler, kind of like a Turkish Marlboro Man, so when he did it, it was cool.

  39. The $43,000 price tag is steep, but Hammar said a $7,500 tax credit helps reduce the overall cost of the car.

    Stealing money from other people to help finance your lifestyle accessories is the true essence of American Exceptionalism.

    1. Stealing money from other people to help finance your lifestyle accessories is the true essence of American Exceptionalism.

      It is manna from heaven according to the legions of devoted hipster doofuses (or doofi?)

      1. Trey and Matt on the “Smug Alert” episode:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzQBz3h5gnc

  40. The Boss From Hell: Meet Sheila Jackson Lee

    Ahh, my congresswoman!

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/03…..ckson-lee/

    Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas also hands out nicknames to the people who work for her. The Houston Democrat addressed one of her employees as “you stupid motherfucker.” And not just once, but “constantly,” recalls the staffer, “like, all the time.”

    Another Jackson Lee aide recounts the time her parents came to Washington to visit: “They were really excited to come to the congressional office. They’re small town people, so for them it was a huge deal. They were actually sitting in the main lobby waiting area[…][Jackson Lee] came out screaming at me over a scheduling change. Called me a ‘stupid idiot. Don’t be a moron, you foolish girl’ and actually did this in front of my parents, of all things.”

    Yet another staffer remembers requesting a meeting early on in her tenure to ask how best to serve the congresswoman. Jackson Lee’s response: “What? What did you say to me? Who are you, the Congresswoman? You haven’t been elected. You don’t set up meetings with me! I tell you! You know what? You are the most unprofessional person I have ever met in my life.” With that, Jackson Lee hung up the phone.

    According to the same staffer, Jackson Lee “would always say, ‘What am I a prostitute? Am I your prostitute? You can’t prostitute me.'”

    Maybe the phrase she was looking for is “Am I your jail bitch?”

    1. Ahh, Democracy.

      Unfortunately, its not just the 50.1% who vote for the winner who get the government they deserve, good and hard. Its the rest of us, too.

    2. I have no sympathy for the pathetic fools who take that job working for her and don’t quit after being spoken to like an animal by a conceited gutter cunt. If they stay past the first verbal assault, they become part of the problem.

      1. But it does clue me in to leftist thinking. They are abused by their boss but don’t quit therefore by stupidity extension all people in subordinate positions are abused by their employers. That means corporations are evil, or something.

        1. You left out “Interstate Commerce”, but otherwise spot-on.

      2. Imagine if Ms. Lee was white and her staffers were black…

        1. I wonder if the fact she is black and possibly these staffers are white made them decide it was OK to be spoken to like that. For white liberals, the cause is often the most important thing. Collectivists leave their dignity at the door. Same kind of people justify or willfully ignore the deaths of 30 million people in Russia and China.

          1. I wonder if the fact she is black and possibly these staffers are white made them decide it was OK to be spoken to like that.

            In this case, given Ms. Lee’s colorful history of self-import and spectacular mistatements, race is probably a lesser factor than the fact that she feels she is an entitled bully, and wishes to exact “social justice.” I think any unfortunate staffer of hers would be treated with such scorn, regardless of race.

            1. She’ll go down in a money scandal eventually.

            2. I don’t doubt what Ms. Lee feels, but I am wondering what the staffers feel. You have to be a pretty big die hard for the cause (of just a huge pussy) to put up with that shit.

          2. The article says she is most abusive to her black staffers.

    3. My sister once went to some sort of meeting of Houston female professionals where local successful women spoke. For some reason several of the attendees, including my sister, were herded in to talk to Sheila Jackson Lee, who was very impatient and rude, saying “What’s your question for me?”

      Later at the podium, she said “As the only elected official here, I want to remind you to vote next month”, even though Houston’s mayor Annise Parker was also in attendance.

      1. They should have all heeded her reminder and relieved her of her position. Fucking sheep.

        1. Given that Lee’s district is very gerrymandered to include most of the poor parts of Houston and various hippie areas (and apparently, Old Mexican), she is almost impossible to remove, though somebody did run against her in the primary last time.
          map

          1. It should be considerably smaller by the time the TX lege gets through re-drawing the map.

            1. I am keeping my fingers crossed…

  41. I kind of wonder what the plan – assuming there is one – is with the two week CR thing. Is it just to create more time for negotiations, or will they just keep offering it, cutting a little more each time?

    1. Honestly, I think the Rs won. They cut $4B and no one got thrown out in the street. And, they looked like reasonable adults. The Senate and President said no to the full deal, so they proposed another one to prevent a shutdown.

      I’ll bet they can get the rest of the year done with not less than $50B in cuts. Not spectacular, but it does set up an FY12 budget that will contain substantive cuts because, again, $50B or so got cut and grandma ain’t eating cat food.

  42. I kind of like calibrating the length of the extension to the amount of cuts it contains, with the goal of cutting $XBB by the end of the fiscal year.

    1. I kind of like calibrating the length of the extension to the amount of cuts it contains, with the goal of cutting $XBB by the end of the fiscal year.

      I think it is an excellent idea. Say what you want about running fiscal 2010 on endless CRs, but it did make it easier to track where the money was going then, and will for sure now. It is up to us to keep their feet to the fire.

      1. You think they’ll just keep rolling $4B every two weeks til the end of the year? That would be fantastic. $192B is way better than the $60B the R’s originally tried to cut.

        1. The end of the federal fiscal year is September 30, I think, which is seven months out. At $8BB per month in cuts, that’s only $56BB.

          1. Oh is it? My bad. I think I got the math wrong either way.

  43. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03…..uates.html

    Derp. Derp derp derp. Derp diddly-derp.

    1. Huh. They couldn’t get jobs as prostitutes?

      1. Not if I have anything to say about it.

  44. Congress temporarily staves off a government shutdown.

    Thank goodness. Otherwise Al Qaeda might have stopped me from going about my regular business.

  45. Sen. Mary Lazich, R-Waukesha, and Rep. Mark Honadel, R-Milwaukee, authored a bill that would prohibit tricking the call’s recipient into believing the caller is someone they are not for malicious purposes.

    Debate was briefly interrupted by a phone call asking to speak to Richard Smoker.

  46. Several factors probably contributed to these phenomena. Perhaps President Obama indeed made public service “cool” as he had promised during his presidential campaign. Some experts say millennials ? those who grew up in the 1990s or the 21st century ? are unusually big-hearted, maybe because of the community service requirements they had in school.

    Yup.

    Indubitably.

    1. What a crock of shit! Unusually self-involved would be more like it. Though I wouldn’t expect the narcissistic Baby Boomers to notice, being even more solipsistic.

      1. are unusually big-hearted, maybe because of the community service requirements they had in school.

        This is a pile of droops! They are “unusually” self-centered, especially with other people’s money, and often buy the idea that community service absolves them of the blame of social ills. It will interesting to see how charitable they will be when they start earning their own money and are in control of their own time.

    1. I guess they didn’t learn a fucking thing from Dresden.

  47. “I think it should be a felony.”

    Texas State Representative Stefani Carter, former prosecutor, on the penalty for possession of marijuana. She also thinks there will be no fiscal impact even though half of all arrests in 2009 were marijuana-related. Of those 77,000 arrests, 97 percent were for possession only.

    1. Nope. No consequence in arresting, processing, and prosecuting 75000 people.

  48. It will be interesting and enlightening to see how the Evangelicals respond to the Pope’s absolution of the Jews.

    1. I checked with one. She’s more pissed that the Pope feels any authority at all. Says anyone who hated Jews (or anyone) wasn’t a good Christian to begin with.

    2. Isn’t that like asking an American what they think about some pronouncement made by Queen Lizzy?

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