Religion

New Frontiers in Interfaith Dialogue

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Well, they've got this much in common.

I understand why this story leads with Louis Farrakhan's friendly remarks about Col. Qaddafi, but I'm really much more interested in this bit:

Farrakhan also said he had spent time at the Church of Scientology's celebrity center in Los Angeles and had been impressed with the church's method of "auditing"—a process he said was comparable to therapy.

He said the church's founder L. Ron Hubbard had a mission to "civilize white people," adding that Hubbard "is so exceedingly valuable to every white person on this earth."

Scientology books were available for sale at the Savior's Day event, but Farrakhan said he was not converting and did not need a new religion.

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154 responses to “New Frontiers in Interfaith Dialogue

  1. Do you have to be white to join Scientology?

    1. No, but it helps.

      [rimshot]

      1. Just don’t be gay!

        1. Gay? We can work around that.

          1. It’s just the thetans making you queer. We can remove them. Try this e-meter.

            1. Could it be that thatans are all gay? Maybe that’s why they had to be chained to volcanoes and blown up with a million billion H-bombs.

              1. Xenu was gay, but hated himself for it.

                1. Xenu initially came to Teegeeack in order to go clubbing out from under the watchful eye of intergalactic paparazzi. They had taken one too many pictures of Xenu’s junk because he never learned how to properly get out of a outer space car while wearing an outer space kilt. Xenu just wanted to dance and maybe suck a Teegeeackian off in the bathroom’s glory hole. Is that too much for an overworked galactic tyrant to ask?

            2. I’ve heard that the word “thetans” exists because Aleister Crowley spoke with a lisp. Hubbard heard him talking about “satans” and thought it was a neat idea, apparently. I hope this is true.

              1. So do I.

                Of course, I’m The Father of Lies.

                1. LIAR!

  2. This makes sense.

    1. Or you could go with this.

      1. I think I’ll stick to this.

          1. Alexarib9:
            It`s cool!!! it’s not a horrendously bad video, go hear horrendously? hip hop your motherfucker, ahahahaha!

  3. Interesting endorsement. If I were, say, Coke, I’d hire him to do ads targeting the white demographic.

  4. Yeah, I read an article today that said that a central tenet of the Nation of Islam was belief in some giant UFO that contains Mohammed or something, and Louis Farrakhan tells a story of how he was taken up in a UFO years ago and heard the voice of Mohammed.

    I never heard that crazy shit before.

    I mean, I know the guy is nuts, but I didn’t realize he was that nuts.

    I also didn’t realize he was so scary nuts – he’s now saying prepare for the same riots here as going on in Egypt and Libya.

    Looks like I’ll need to stock up on a bit more ammo.

    1. Buddha arrived on a meteor!”

      1. Aqua-Buddha rose from the sea-foam with Aphrodite. He made the foam.

    2. Yes and white people were created by the scientist Yakub to punish black people for 6000 years. Its about equal to Scientology on the craziness scale. Then again if your gonna make shit up you might as well go out. Only difference between NoI/Scientology and mainstream religions is that the people who made it up died recently.

      1. Islam is the Scientology of the 7th Century. Some guy makes shit up and people eat it up.

        1. Re: Pip,
          The problem is that the guy who made shit up then proceeded to do the greatest frat party of all time except without women but with all the destruction of private property. At least Hubbard was kind enough not to do that.

          1. Exactly, Hubbard just sailed around on his kiddie-diddling rape boat for a couple of decades while ghostwriters churned out his shitty “novels.”

            1. THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

              1. Exactly.

                Only those who have read Battlefield Earth more than twice have any standing to argue with me about Scientology.

                1. I’ve watched it more than twice…does that count? I don’t have the same masochistic capabilities that you do when it comes to prose. 30 pages in and I was done. At 10 years old.

                  1. And when it rains, you’re shining down for me
                    And I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough
                    Just like a rainbow you know you set me free
                    And I just can’t get enough, I just can’t get enough

                    1. Random Depeche Mode references, SF? I should have known you had it in you. No Master and Servant?!

                  2. Here’s what I know about Battlefield Earth: It involves Earth, a battle, and Scientology. It was written by L. Ron Hubbard, is science fiction, and involves and probably promotes Scientology. There is a book and a film.

                    There, done.

                    1. Here’s what I know about Battlefield Earth: It involves Earth, a battle, and Scientology. It was written by L. Ron Hubbard, is science fiction, and involves and probably promotes Scientology. There is a book and a film.

                      There, done.

                      Nowhere in there did you mention John Travolta.

                    2. Can anyone truly know John Travolta.

                      What I know about him, other than his movies and his Scientology, is that he’s gay and flies a 707 to his secret lair in Ocala.

                    3. Left off a question mark. Sorry.

            2. Dennis: The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can’t refuse…because of the implication.
              Mac: Okay you had me goin’ there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.
              Dennis: Well dude, think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. “Ah there’s nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?”
              Mac: Okay. That seems really dark.
              Dennis: It’s not dark, you’re misunderstanding me, bro.
              Mac: I think I am.
              Dennis: Yeah, you are. Because if the girl said ‘no’, then the answer is obviously ‘no’. But the thing is she is not gonna say no. She would never say ‘no’, because of the implication.
              Mac: What implication?
              Dennis: The implication that things might go wrong if she refuses to sleep with me. Not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will.
              Mac: But it sounds like she doesn’t want to have sex with you?
              Dennis: Why aren’t you understanding this?

        2. ______ is the Scientology of the ___ Century. Some guy makes shit up and people eat it up.

          1. Keynesianism, 20th.

            1. Um, that’s gotta be Scientology, 20th.

        3. The NoI is not related to mainstream Islam any more than the LDS is related to mainstream Christianity.

          1. Yeah, 5%ers aren’t muslims.

            1. No, their beats are better.

              Sometimes, anyway…

      2. Only difference between NoI/Scientology and mainstream religions is that the people who made it up died recently.

        And the fact that mainstream religions don’t keep the tenets of their faith secret from outsiders (and new adherents). That’s a pretty huge difference.

        1. Wanna know the difference between Scientology and Nazism?

          Scientology’s fairy tales make even less sense!

          1. …you guys, seriously, replace “thetan” with “Jew” and “psychiatrist” with “communist” and you’d swear that Hubbard was to Hitler what Billy Carter was to Jimmy Carter!

            *sigh*

            …at least Hitler managed to keep space monsters out of the bullshit he believed in…

  5. He said the church’s founder L. Ron Hubbard had a mission to “civilize white people,” adding that Hubbard “is so exceedingly valuable to every white person on this earth.”

    Hmmm, so what did Muhammad purport to do, Mr. Farrakahn? Civilize brown people?

    By the way, there is SOME similarity between Muhammad and Hubbard, as both were misogynists – and both were deranged.

    1. Don’t forget Jeebus!

      1. Re: ChicagoSucks!

        Don’t forget Jeebus!

        I haven’t. I thought he wanted to civilize the Greeks… Or was that Paul???

        1. Technically, Paul just wanted to sell them their own religion dressed up in a prettier dress. There’s a reason all the oldest New Testament stuff is written in Greek.

        2. No, Jesus just wanted to water down the Jews.

    2. Black people were made by god.

      White people were made by an evil scientist.

      1. By bleaching a black man, Yakub created the different races. The paler you are, the less pure you are.

        Or some shit like that.

        1. Well, white people are some sort of part-Neanderthal mud-race, after all.

          1. So I learned that I’m a fucking Neanderthal. So much for my genetic Northern European supremacy. [Kicks a can in an aw-shucks manner].

            1. Dude, it’s our Neanderthal heritage that MAKES our genetic Northern European supremacy! Neanderthals had BIGGER BRAINS than Homo sapiens!

              Of course, we have to share our genetic supremacy with other races that share Neanderthal heritage – which is most of them.

              1. I thought that it was our Neanderthal heritage that made us so competitive that we have to kill anything that creeps, craps, or crawls?

              2. Thank you for restoring the pride of the poor, oppressed Neanderthal minority.

  6. Jeez, it’s obvious why he’s not converting: Scientology has 11 letters. Eleven is two ones, and one plus one is 2, and Satan has two horns.

    1. I find your ideas intriguing, and am interested in subscribing to your newletter.

      1. You jest, but that is an accurate paraphrase. Look up his “million man march” speech.

        1. Witness the full-on crazy that is the Farrakhan -from the million man march:

          FARRAKHAN: The first four letters of the word form the foundation; “a-t-o-n”. . . “a-ton”, “a-ton”. Since this obelisk in front of us is representative of Egypt. In the 18th dynasty, a Pharaoh named Akhenaton, was the first man of this history period to destroy the pantheon of many gods and bring the people to the worship of one god. And that one god was symbolized by a sun disk with 19 rays coming out of that sun with hands holding the Egyptian Ankh – the cross of life. A-ton. The name for the one god in ancient Egypt. A- ton, the one god. 19 rays. Look at your scripture.

          A woman, remember the nine, means somebody pregnant, with an idea. But, in this case, its a woman pregnant with a male child destined to rule the nations with a rod of iron. God is standing over her womb, and this child will be like the day sun, and he will say “I am the light of the world.” Hands coming out of that sun, come unto me all ye that are heavy laden. I’m gonna give you rest, but I’m gonna give you life, because I am the resurrection and the life and if you believe in me, though you are dead, yet shall you live again.

          You’re dead, Black man. But if you believe in the god who created this sun of truth and of light with 19 rays, meaning he’s pregnant with God’s spirit, God’s life, God’s wisdom. Abraham Lincoln’s statue, 19 feet high, 19 feet wide. Jefferson, 19 feet high, 16 [th president] and the third president, 19. Standing on the steps of the Capitol, in the light of the sun. Offering life to a people who are dead.

          FARRAKHAN: Black man, the a-ton represents the one God. In the Koran, Muhammad is called a light giving son. So if you look at the aton, add an “e” to it, and separate the “a” from the next four letters and you get the word a tone.

          Atone means sound. And “a”, the first letter of the alphabet and the first letter of the numerical system is one. So “a” equals one. So “a” sound means when you hear the “a” tone, you will hear the right sound. And when you hear the right sound from the one God calling you to divine life, you will respond. So what is the “a” tone? In music, a equals 440 vibrations. How long have we been in America? Four hundred and forty years.

          Well, in the 440th year, from the one God, the Aton will come the a tone and all of us got to tune up our lives by the sound of the a tone. Because we’ve got to atone for all that we have done wrong. And when you atone, if you take the “t” and couple it with the “a” and hyphenate it, you get at one. So when you atone you become at one. At one with who? The Aton or the one God. Because you heard the a tone and you tuned up your life and now you’re ready to make a new beginning.

          So when you get at one, you get the next two letters. It is “m” “e”. Me. Who is it that has to atone?

          This transcript appears to leave out the part where he adds up the numeric values of “atonement” and uses digit-adding reductions to get ’11’.

          1. “This transcript appears to leave out the part where he adds up the numeric values of “atonement” and uses digit-adding reductions to get ’11’.”

            I’m not sure it would make a difference. Hard to believe it would make that rant crazier, and there’s no way it could salvage it.
            WHOA! That guy is GONE!

          2. Look up “gammatria.” This shit isn’t new. The wackos have been using it for thousands of years.

    2. I didn’t full-on pee my pants when I read this, but there was a squirt or two!

  7. ….oh boy, now what happened.

  8. I read the entire article and that is what you found most interesting?

  9. Just to clarify, is the Republic of Georgia the state of Georgia? Or the country? I assume you meant the state, since it houses the School of Terrorism (is that what it’s actually called? Wow.), but I wanted to check.

    Otherwise, I understand from your post that we and the Israelis are taking over the entire region. And one or more Georgias may be involved in that occupation. Interesting. When will this happen?

    1. Sweet Jesus, moderator, stop doing that to me! Can’t you at least mark the spot as Comment deleted as too insane?

      1. I don’t see the logic in deleting HST’s nonsense and leaving rather’s blogwhoring febrile insults extant. Is it just length?

        1. Is it just length?

          That’s what she said.

        2. >>I don’t see the logic in deleting HST’s nonsense

          Well, it did have that unreliable flawed mirror, after all.

        3. Wait a second. HST? Same initials as Hunter S. Thompson! Could this be gonzo journalism from the beyond?

          1. [rolling in grave, grinding teeth] Puleeze! This clown’s initials are HTS.

            1. Dare you doubt SugarFree’s ability to organize letters? He’s a master of such things, you know.

              1. I’m not even going to look downthread to see if you’re right because I already know you are dammit SugarFree!

                1. [rolling in grave, grinding teeth] Yes, he’s right.

                  1. Ah, yes, that’s another one–your telescope. Also not referenced here!

  10. how the Nation of Islam believes that white people were created from blacks 4,000 years ago on an Aegean island by a black scientist

    Of course Hubbard appeals to Louie… they are both riffing off the Von Daniken/ancient astronaut stuff.

    Jonah’s whale was just an alien submarine, you know.

  11. KOREA AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE!

    KOREA AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE!

    [This is a Test]

    Now, everyday we try to search the Web to find something that we just feel like writing a comment upon that will make others unhappy about the comment, and we found another jewel, today’s comment was made the one and only Media Messiah Imperial President of [The Empire] The Israeli-American Empire, quote This review is aimed at ensuring that we [The MIC Military Industrial Complex of the Empire] have adequate measures in place and to identify areas where adjustments would be appropriate, unquote, this in response to the sinking of a South Korean Warship by a Submarine of the North Korean Navy, an act of war in a war that is still in progress. The question is does anyone really know what this guy is talking about, the [PRK] The Peoples Republic of Korea, North Korea is a Nuclear Armed nation under the umbrella of protection of yet a larger Nuclear Armed Sphere of Influence in the [21st] Century the [PRC] the Peoples Republic of China, Red China, a member of the [BRIC] Brazil, The Russian Federation, India, and Peoples Republic of China, [21st] Century Spheres of Influence, and the country [The Empire] is the most financially in debt too. So, what was this all about, This is a Test and the [PRK] got a slap on the wrist, a Sanction, like the [PRC] didn’t sanction the event, and will not comply with any sanctions, to a country within its [SPHERE OF INFLUENCE] and under its umbrella of protection.

    [Did You Get The Message?]

    Come on give me a break! What is an appropriate response what are adequate measures in the [21st] Century, you have got to be kidding, this is not the Korean Police Action of [1950-1953], this is not [6] Six years after [WWII] World War Two, and forget about duck and cover, there isn’t enough ducking and covering to save anyone from a Nuclear Winter. The [PRC] has been sending messages that [The Empire] has no business in its Sphere of Influence, and to begin a phased withdrawal from its Sphere;

    * Forcing an [Empire] Spy Plane to land on Chinese Territory.

    * Chasing an [Empire] Spy Ship out of the Sea of China.

    * Closing its ports to [Empire] Men of War, and any Battle Groups heading to the Islamic Crescent/Arabian Peninsula/ Hindu Cush.

    * Demanding and having the demands met that the [Empire] stop all military aide to the Nationalist Chinese held up on the [PRC] Island of Taipei, and stop any further interference between the [PRC] and its breakaway province.

    Get real folks, the [PRC] is well aware of any actions or non-actions taking place within it [SPHERE OF INFLUENCE], and to think otherwise is less than critical thinking, and dangerous thinking since the Nuclear Club Door has been kick in.

    [Marking Territory]

    Where does Japan fit into all this mess, well the answer will be a missile defense system, along with a way to drag the Japanese into a war on the Korean Peninsula, its just that simple, vise just [EMPIRE] troops to ship from the Land of The Rising Sun to that of the Land of the Morning Calm, after the [3rd] Third Nuclear Weapon, since Hiroshima and Nagasaki goes off on Nago, Okinawa Marine Corp. Base, well the Japanese will be needed to balance the [2M] Two Million Route Chinese Armies backing the [2M] Peoples Republic of Korea Army pouring into the [ROK]. That’s if they even get them there before the Peninsula is completely taken by the forces of the [PRC] and Kim Jung ILL will have completed the work started by his father Kim IL Suk giving the [EMPIRE] its worse defeat in the [Empire’s] history. So, did you hear again a missile defense system, do we know of yet another missile defense system, the Foothold Europe missile defense system maybe? The fact of the matter [ALL] the [SPHERES OF INFLUENCE] are Marking Their Territory, this is our spot in the sand box and yours is over there, the review should aim at taking our toys out of the [PRC’s] spot in the sandbox, and adequate measures in place and taken to identify where any adjustments where possible would be appropriate to make it happen very rapidly.

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN

    1. HERCULE WAS HERE!

      1. Nah. Some homeless guy just took a dump in the alley.

        But I understand your confusion.

      2. [claps hands patty-cake style} Herclue! Herclue! Herclue!

    2. Mr. Sainien, meet Mr. Farakahn. Mr. Farakhan, Mr. Sainien.

      1. Dude, that sounds way too much like ‘sane’.

    3. You need to stop fucking your mother. It’s messing with your head.

      1. More like his mother needed to stop fucking her father — but it’s a little too late to fix that genetic clusterfuck.

    4. “The fact of the matter [ALL] the [SPHERES OF INFLUENCE] are Marking Their Territory, this is our spot in the sand box and yours is over there, the review should aim at taking our toys out of the [PRC’s] spot in the sandbox”

      Are we talking regular cat litter here or the clumping kind?

    5. May I mumbo dogface to the banana patch for five hundred, Alex?

      Speaking of batshit crazy….

      1. …and where does Japan fit into all this mess?

    6. Good to hear from you Hercule. I was wondering what you were up to.

      1. “Good to hear from you Hercule. I was wondering what you were up to.”

        Strange, I still am. But not enough to ask.

    7. Is this the same person who used to run the meme “OBAMA THE COMMUNIST” followed by 2,000 words of gibberish? I think the handle was Gen. something or another.

      1. HOW DARE YOU SLANDER THE COMMANDER!

  12. I have to admit, I find Hercule’s habit of using square brackets for emphasis new and slightly charming. I still have no idea WTF he’s on about, but his typographical stylings are at least more interesting than the run of the mill whackjobs we get around here.

    1. Do you read them all, though? Personally, I think he could do more with less.

      1. It’s not the quantity, it’s the quality.

      2. I found the Nash-Cadillac one to be my favorite so far.

      3. People are too quick to judge minimalism as automatically superior. I blame Dada and William Strunk, Jr.

        Personally, I believe in maximalism.

        1. By Total Blather Count (TBC) alone, he’s the clear winner. I’m just partial to The Truth’s smug proclamations from on high.

          Still, Hercule does have a certain McElwainesque quality that might reward a closer reading.

          1. There’s almost a pattern to it. A hypnotic one that almost makes sense if you stare at the text and cross your eyes.

    2. My favorite use of brackets by him are when he slips in an editorial comment. Don’t see that so much in these posts, but he does it occasionally.

      I also like some of the phrases. Like “Media Messiah Imperial President.” I assume that means Ted Turner, but I’m not sure.

      1. “Media Messiah Imperial President”

        I think he’s suggesting that Obama is a secret Jew.

        1. that doesn’t even make sense. He can’t be both a secret Muslim and a secret Jew. Can He!? Maybe the Obamassiah is more powerful than I thought.

          1. He’s a JEWLIM!

              1. Close. Musbrew.

                1. That has to make family reunions a little, er.. uncomfortable.

          2. You know who else was a secret Jew.

              1. No, you silly person. He was a secret Christian.

                1. He just didn’t know it quite yet.

          3. Unifying Semites in order to provide grammatical consistency to the world!

            My God, this all makes perfect sense to me now!

          4. The secret Muslims are all secret Jews. Don’t you know anything?

    3. Don’t you miss me?

  13. GOMENESAI TOUR II

    [GOMENESAI]

    So as not to confuse anyone other there that actually reads any of my rantings, the word Gomenesai is the Japanese word which in English translation mean [I’m Sorry], and once again the [PM] Prime Minister of Japan made a trip to the Japanese Island of Okinawa and was said too have been saying [I’m Sorry] every other word to the Japanese officials and people of that island, and for those who have made the mistake of reading these rantings for the first time it is because to get elected in September of [2009], the [PM] had given his word all Israeli-American Empire know as the [THE EMPIRE] troops of occupation would be ordered off of all Japanese soil. But, seeing as they are troops of occupation and not really guests, guests after all you can show to the door, with a smile and handshake goodbye, but are really troops of occupation, aren’t going anywhere, and so say’s both the former, [EMPIRE] Ambassador to Japan Thomas Schieffer, and Guam Senator Judith P. Guthertz, who is the chair of the Committee on Military Buildup and Homeland Security in the Senate, with a threat to the Japanese [PM] of he would have a lot to lose if the agreement is not honored, will Tom Schieffer, flat came right out with it that quote, you can negotiate all you want to, but until a replacement facility is built, Futenma is going to continue to stay right where it is, unquote, which is to say that [The Empire’s] troops of occupation are not only going to stay in Japan on Japanese soil but unless they have a new base built like they want, they are going to just stay exactly were they now sit, thank-you very much. And now Japan and especially the Island of Okinawa has the distinction of being Cuba of the East or, another Island country that the [EMPIRE] just doesn’t know when to leave.

    [WERE NOT LEAVING]

    Now, the Japanese government is a Parliamentary Government, the Japanese call it a Diet, which means you have to cob together a group to make up the government, and if someone leaves well the government falls and you have another election, to replace it. The present Japanese Government has a coalition called the Hatoyama’s and they are as hot as a Black Topped Road in the middle of the Mojave Dessert in California in the middle of July, they are seething over all this. And the leader of the party that wants to pull out Ms. Muzuho Fukushima, leader of the [SDP] Social Democratic Party, and the party’s Diet affairs chief Kantoku Teruya are looking to not only pull out of the government and resign their government positions, if the [EMPIRE] troops of occupation are not shown the door and told its time to go home, which leaves the people of Japan with no light at the end of the tunnel for ending of their occupation.

    [NO END IN SIGHT]

    With no light at the end of the tunnel of occupation, and with the central government of Japan, the Emperor or his Diet taking action, well that leaves no other alternative but for the people of Japan to take matters once again into their own hands as they did in [16th] Sixteenth Century Japan, which can be seen in the movie the Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa, in which the villagers welcomed the by then hated Samurai into their villages gave them all the Saki [Bose], they could drink and then dispatched them to the here after, and their bodies were never to be found, and of course the local officials were more than willing to round up the usual suspects if any could be located like Casablanca, for questioning with the usual your guess is as good as mine, we don’t know. The Bottom line is no occupied peoples are going to remain so, with no light at the end of the tunnel, with or without outside assistance, and there are more than one Asian country willing to provide any assistance asked for, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, aide will flow to assist, but freedom can only be gained at one’s own hands, not trading one master for yet another, it is a time of decision for the people of Japan, that has been forced upon them; accept continued occupation, or a [RA] Resistance Army, an [OAR/JAR] Okinawa Army of Resistance /Japanese Army of Resistance, the choice is that of the people of Japan, Victory over the Occupation or Victimization of it.

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN

    1. HERCULE SHAT HERE!

    2. don’t ever change

    3. There’s no place like sausage..

    4. I’m copying and printing Herc’s stuff to read loudly to the next cell phone blabber who aurally assaults me in the waiting room. It’s absolutely perfect.

    5. So, wait, Samurai Jack is going to wipe out the entire U.S. military presence in Okinawa or something?

      I think it’ll take more than a couple of well-crafted swords.

    6. HERPULE DERPULON DERPINIEN

    7. HERPULE DERPULON DERPINIEN, you are my hero.

  14. I’m glad to see that Hercule is not leaving.

    FIGHT THE POWER, HERCULE! FIGHT THE POWER!!

    *shakes fist*

  15. Farrakhan leading “interfaith dialogue” is like the KKK doing sensitivity training.

    Shariah4America: The Muslim Extremist Extravaganza coming to DC.
    http://libertarians4freedom.bl…..ready.html

    1. Oh look, the neocon is back. How wonderful.

      1. Neocon? Neocons believe in collective morality, I do not.

        1. That’s a rather picayune difference.

  16. Has anyone considered that L. Ron Hubbard might be merely the latest incarnation of some demented soul who likes to torment people?

    1. Did I just summarize Scientology?

      1. You forgot the space ships that look just like DC-8s with no engines.

        1. Gold DC-8s. Don’t forget that.

          1. That religion is so weird. Not like ours. Oh wait, they’re all fucking weird.

          2. “That’s no DC-8… It’s a suppository”
            “It’s too big to be a suppository…”

            1. The ass of god is mighty big, OM. Bigger than you can possibly imagine with your mortal understanding.

        2. Why then, does Travolta fly a 707?

      2. Yup! Do you wanna do karate in the garage?

  17. So does this article have something to do with black thetans and their goals?

    1. Don’t you dare laugh! Xenu is still alive in his “electronic mountain trap.” Only the COS can keep him there!

      1. Could he…could he be funding Scott Walker in Wisconsin? Is Xenu the missing Koch brother?

        1. There are 178 billion reasons you may be correct!

          1. Damn, someone needs to talk to Xenu about a one-thetan policy.

    2. Leave Will Smith alone!

  18. Congrats Scientology. A cult couldn’t ask for a better spokesperson. Farrakhan is a perfect fit but where is Tommy? What did you do with Tommy??

    1. His busy aging his wife horribly.

  19. So the Thetans blew up the levees? I was sure it was Dubya.

  20. Then again if your gonna make shit up you might as well go out.

    The economy, even more beautiful. … Good time.

  21. You guys must realize that “Hercule” is some sort of robot: feed the program a “seed thought”, e.g. “US and South Korea to stage annual military exercise”, and it generates four paragraphs of text extracted from current events, and other web sources.

    Hercule is a cool idea (maybe I should say “cule” idea), and actually spews more sanity than many real people, but, in the end it’s just a machine.

    1. Watson? Is that you?

    2. Don’t disparage my new hero like that.

  22. Who’s crazier? Gaddafi, or Farrakhan?

    Hubbard doesn’t play on that field. I don’t think he believed a word of Scientology, viewing it as a source of cash, not salvation.

    1. “Who’s crazier? Gaddafi, or Farrakhan?”

      HERCULE, obviously.

  23. That just makes a whole lot of sense when you think about its.

    http://www.complete-privacy.eu.tc

  24. He said the church’s founder L. Ron Hubbard had a mission to “civilize white people,” adding that Hubbard “is so exceedingly valuable to every white person on this earth.”

    Love him or hate him, you can always count on Farrakhan for the most awesomest quotes.

    1. Farrakhan spoke for 4 hours. Even I would say something awesome in a 4 hour speech. I’d have to be hopped up on meth, my vocal cords would give out around 90 minutes, then I’d have to whisper through the rest.

      A long speech by anyone is funky, no matter what the content. And so is a journalist’s indulgence of one.

      If I were a journalist faced with covering a Farrakhan speech or a cat stuck in a tree at 1256 Maple Ave, I would pick the latter story.

  25. Farrakhan is entitled to his own opinion but people would hear him better if he emphasized on why he feels the way he does. He obviously found something useful in Scientology. Also, we must aware too of the nuances in his English speaking – he is obviously not a native American speaker – this is why he pertains to the western world as “white people.” This guy at least has the courage to voice out his support.

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