Reason Morning Links: LinkedOut Edition

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  1. Democratic Congressman Ladies and Gentlemen …
    In this image provided by the Willamette Week newspaper, and taken Oct. 2, 2010 in Portland, Ore, U.S. Rep. David Wu is seen in a tiger costume. The Oregon congressman says that he accepted prescription drugs from a campaign contributor last October, around the time when members of his staff complained of his erratic behavior. On Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2011, Wu said on ABC’s “Good Morning America” that it was “unprofessional and inappropriate” for him to send pictures of himself wearing a tiger costume to staff members.

    1. From The Atlantic
      Wu’s behavior became erratic during his 6th re-election campaign and included more than one loud, angry outburst, the Willamette Week reported last week. His advisers staged two “interventions,” and staff sought to keep him from the public eye in the last three days before Election Day. Wu was urged to seek psychiatric care.

      Using his congressional BlackBerry, Wu sent the above photo (sans message) to a female staffer at 1:03 a.m. PST on Oct. 30. It was first published by the Willamette Week.

      Wu, who in addition to being a lawyer attended Harvard Medical School, explained his behavior by saying he accepted painkillers — two tablets — from a political donor while traveling after finding he’d left his own medication for neck pain in Washington, D.C. A single father, Wu also says he was under duress caring for his two daughters and 88-year-old mother. He has since sought mental-health care and medication, he told George Stephanopoulos Tuesday on “Good Morning America.”

      1. No, Wu peed on my rug, man.

        1. Swengen!!! Cocksucker!!!

        2. That rug really brought the room together.

          1. TIES the room together!!!!

            Snark license revoked!

    2. Always scruffy, never furry

    3. Funniest comment on the linked story:

      Not a big deal. Every Saturday night, Barney Frank dresses up as a Habitrail.

      1. Yeah, that one cracked me up. Reminded me of the old joke about “what does a gerbil say when a gay guy comes into the pet shop?”

      2. “Armageddon!”

        Poor Raggot…

    4. It’s not like he’s wearing a Hitler costume or anything. It’s a freakin’ tiger. A cute, hilarious, little Asian tiger.

      1. “What do Asian tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger pill?”

    5. “The email, with Wu’s son’s name at the end, said: ‘My Dad said you said he was wasted Wednesday night after just three sips of wine. It’s just that he hasn’t had a drink since July 1. Cut him some slack, man. What he does when he’s wasted is send emails, not harass people he works with. He works SO hard for you ? Cut the dude some slack, man. Just kidding.'”

      From http://www.wweek.com/portland/…..wus_staff_“threatened_to_shut_down_his_campaign”.html

    1. Stupidest link ever.

      For starters, this is an absurd statement: “…the U.S. president so fervently supported the removal from office of U.S. ally Hosni Mubarak…”

      1. This is what historians mean when they say “history is written by the victors”.

      2. I don’t know what reality they were living in, but I saw nothing from Obama that was “fervent”.

      3. I believe this ‘theory’ was first put out by Glenn Beck, whose ‘theories’ regarding what’s currently taking place in the middle east make him (and his followers for that matter) look so ignorant that you could even call him ignant.

    1. I guess they’re doing something right then.

  2. I wonder if all these revolutions in the Middle East have made gun control advocates rethink their position on the 2nd amendment. Whenever anyone brings up the real reason the Founders put the right to bear arms into writing, to protect against the rise of a tyrannical government, they quickly dismiss the argument with, “What good are small arms against a modern military.” Of course, we respond that what would likely happen in the event of such an uprising is that much of the military would refuse to fire on their own people and might even turn on the government, which is exactly what we are seeing in the Middle East. Who am I kidding, of course they haven’t.

    1. Huh? The Egyptian and Tunisian militaries ultimately sided with the protesters, but the protesters were by and large unarmed, so I don’t understand your point. Are you suggesting that the militaries would have switched sides sooner if the protesters had been armed?

      1. Not to speak for him, but I believe his point is that unarmed civilians can be readily oppressed by loyal police thugs, whereas armed revolt usually means the citizen military has to step in, and they are more sympathetic on whole because they are conscripts or just less venal and corrupt than police forces in general.

    2. If anything, this would reinforce their position on gun control.

    3. But gun control advocates usually argue against letting people have tanks or other things that would be effective against a “modern military”…

  3. Wisconsin state troopers go searching for absent legislators.

    Walker is probably having his Sturmabteilung sew D’s into the lawmakers’ clothing so they can be easily identified.

    1. I scoured the morning links and couldn’t find the Kovy story. THAT’S the big news.

      I was really hoping for Kasparaitis, though.

      1. Would it be so damned difficult for Mario to lace up in this time of need?

        1. I have heard that Billy Tibbetts is trying to make a comeback.

          1. This is what I remember about his time with the team: Two friends of mine – brothers – got into a yelling match during a trip to NYC’s McSorley’s Old Ale House about whether Billy Tibbetts should remain on the Pens roster because, as a convicted “sex offender”, he couldn’t play games in Canada. I recall that the arguments for and against were both incoherent, as we had been at the pub for a while.

            1. Do they still treat women like shit in there, and kick you out if you’re not keeping a 3 pint/hour pace going?

              1. Hey, back in the 70’s the courts ordered the pub to let them in the door and allocate space for them to relieve themselves. What more do you want?

            2. Billy Tibbetts: The Ben Roehtlisberger of Hockey.

              Oh wait, is it the other way around?

              I actually looked Tibbetts up a while ago,and the last story about him is him getting suspended from some shit league for blind side punching a guy.

            3. with video-cams to catch the absent legislators’ drinking and whoring on the public dollar. Then post the videos on the State Govt dot gov web site.

      2. As exciting as the Kovy deal is, it’s tempered by the loss of Orpik

        1. The team will be out for four weeks, but I bet he’ll be back sooner.

          I’m thinking that a lot of guys are going to have miraculous recoveries right before the playoffs start…*crosses fingers*

          1. The team said that Orpik

            1. Some would say you were right the first time.

            2. what is now, 12 regulars out? in a game where you dress 18 skaters

    2. The people of Wisconsin are getting taxation without representation at the moment, because of the absent legislators.

  4. >>a 20-year-old Saudi Arabia native, was arrested by the FBI in Lubbock on Wednesday. He is charged with attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction, including on the Dallas home of the man he called “tyrant” ? Bush.

    Uh, what, he couldn’t make do with the ever so ample supply of those in Saudi Arabia??

    1. Does he have a Kos diary?

      1. Bush, Bush, Bush.

    2. I read the pdf of the FBI agent’s affidavit. The idiot terrorist wannabe couldn’t have made himself more obvious if he’d taken out an ad in the paper.

    3. What kind of weapon of mass destruction, I wonder? Nuke? Smallpox? Mustard gas?

      I find it really irritating that the term has lost all real meaning. A car bomb, or whatever, is a weapon of perfectly normal, localized destruction.

      1. An ink pen.

        1. only in the hands of paulie krugnuts.

      2. TNP

        tri-nitro-phenol

        he got nailed trying to buy a shit ton of phenol.

      3. Hell, I’m just surprised there’s a terrorist in this country who is capable of planning an attack, to the point of actually trying to obtain the materials to carry it out, without the FBI holding his hand.

  5. The Providence, Rhode Island, school board sends pink slips to all its teachers.

    The name of the Teacher’s Union President in this story? Stephen Smith.

    And you know what he said about the pink slips?

    “STEVE SMITH NOT STOPPED BY PINK SLIP OR EVEN CHARTREUSE CODPIECE! RAPE ALWAYS FIND A WAY!”

  6. >>Smith said. “We must do more to screen visa applicants to prevent terrorists from entering the U.S. in the first place.”

    What, and simply let all those 65y/o Norwegians just waltz through our airports?!

  7. Why do some of you attempt to usurp Reason’s morning links by posting your own? Are Jesse’s not good enough? You might be hurting his feelings.

    1. Jesse doesn’t have feelings; he’s a libertarian.

      1. Nah, Jesse is an anarchist.

        1. Under any libertarian’s top hat and monocle you’ll find a scruffy anarchist.

        2. We all have Asperger’s syndrome, that’s why we have no emotions and hide in basements…

          1. Not many people have basements in California.

            1. This single comment has dramatically decreased my enthusiasm about my latest job prospect.

        1. You stay away from me, you hear.

          *backs out of door slowly with broken beer bottle in hand*

    2. The whole point is for the ML thread to be a thread-jack sink. So that we don’t start linking to hockey trades in the middle of the friday Balko nutpunch article.

      1. Friday Balko Nutpunch would be an excellent name for a rock band.

        1. How about “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals” as a name for a rock band?

          Do you think that “The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals” would be a good name for a rock band too?

          1. No extemporaneous phrase is ever a good name for a band. Ever.

          2. No, but “The Golden Girls Turned Me Gay” would be a great album title.

      2. The whole point is for the ML thread to be a thread-jack sink.

        How’s that working out? Aren’t serial linkers just as bad as blog whores? Or is it just harmless narcissism?

        1. JL, for instance, plays nice. Warty is mostly topical in his metal video linkage. Trolls are trolls. Expecting them to follow cultural convention is like expecting psychopaths to tell the truth.

  8. >>In a Twitter message Thursday, Venezuela’s leftist president said

    Twittering? No shit? Look, I don’t care if he is a crackpot – there are limits.

    1. Wow, this is probably worse than the SoCons that are caught playing with little boys. Eh, maybe he fell of the wagon, on the wagon? I can never remember whether I’m on or off the wagon.

      1. I can never remember whether I’m on or off the wagon.

        Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

      2. Definitely fell of the wagon, but I’m here to help you with this quality VHS…so prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan’s “Paint Your Wagon”!

        1. Here comes Lee Marvin! Thank goodness! He’s always drunk and violent.

    2. To me, this is almost as unsurprising as an all-too-common “Cop in charge of youth program caught banging 15 year old,” or “Cop in charge of pension fund pleads guilty of fraud.”

      1. “Cop in charge of pension fund pleads guilty of fraud.”

        Oops. That should have read “Cop in charge of pension fund found guilty of jaywalking in plea deal involving theft of pension funds. Will be forced to pay $75 fine and will face no jail time.”

    3. Have you ever been to Gainseville? I’d be drinking and then trying to run over UF students, too.

      1. Yes, I daresay that no one can go to Gainesville and remain sober. I was drunk for most of my four years there. I think. I can’t really remember.

        Then again, I didn’t own a car.

      2. I think its ironic that MADD chapter went under out there.

      3. I lived there for seven years. Maybe eight, I’m not too sure. Fraternities used to have rush week before classes started, so there was absolutely nothing to get in the way of drinking.

        Good times. I think.


  9. Providence Teachers Union President Steve Smith had said earlier the decision was “beyond insane” and created chaos and anxiety among teachers.

    More than 700 teachers packed the Providence Career and Technical Academy gymnasium Thursday to tell school officials their hearts were broken, their trust was violated and their futures as teachers were jeopardized, the Providence Journal newspaper reported.

    Dear stupid- nobody “owes” you stable cradle-to-grave employment.

    What the fuck do they teach Education majors?

    1. Whats the PJ O’Rourke line? Something like: You cant understand the disfunction in public education until you have fucked an el ed major.

    2. “What the fuck do they teach Education majors?”<?i>

      Ah, that’s the problem. Teaching them would bias their precious creative flower hearts against finding their own special way of mentoring the youth in their care. Or, nothing.

      1. Fuck my shift key. I need coffee.

    3. Dear stupid- nobody “owes” you stable cradle-to-grave employment.

      Definitely true. But DMX and Jet Li owe everybody for Cradle 2 the Grave

    4. I find it grating how the media always covers these protests as unexpected and political. It’s people winning about losing their jobs/getting pay cuts/ whatever. It’s not surprising, and it’s not indicating any public support for them. Of course they’re gonna want to keep getting a ton of money for doing nothing.

  10. The world is burning, we’ve got American citizens stuck in the middle of a civil war in a third world hellhole, and the Obamas are partying like times have never been better.

    1. The White House reverberated like a long-ago basement sound studio in Detroit on Thursday as the likes of John Legend, Seal, Jamie Foxx, Nick Jonas

      Nick Jonas?!?!?! Anarchy Now!

    2. “There wouldn’t be an Usher if there wasn’t a Smokey Robinson. You know, there wouldn’t be an Alicia Keys without a Gladys Knight.”

      There wouldn’t be a Barack Obama without a George Bush.

    3. The world is burning, we’ve got American citizens stuck in the middle of a civil war in a third world hellhole, and the Obamas are partying like times have never been better.

      Do you mean Iraq or Afghanistan?

    4. Legend delivered a soulful rendition of “Heard It Through the Grapevine” that left Foxx, who also served as the program’s host, to joke that nowadays the story was more likely to be “heard it through my Twitter.”

      This is the same Jamie Foxx that can’t seem to find work anymore? How could that be? That joke is hilarious!

  11. The Providence, Rhode Island, school board sends pink slips to all its teachers.

    Did the school board suddenly wake up today thinking: “Man, I gotta start doing my actual, fucking job, for a change!”?

  12. Al Hunt is interviewing Ray la Hood. This could be the critical mass of stupidity which will destroy the universe. Or, maybe, just my teevee.

  13. …while Hugo Chavez lends the Libyan dictator his support.

    “Cuando veas las barbas de tu vecino cortar, pon las tuyas a remojar”
    (Direct translation: When you see your neighbor’s beards being shaven, put yours to soak.)

    Something like: If you see what’s coming, better prepare.

    I don’t have a proper American proverb or aphorism… Maybe somebody can help.

    1. Try a variation on the Iron Law:

      You today, me tomorrow.

      1. In that case, isn’t Chavez showing self-awareness and humility that Ghaddafi isn’t capable of? South American dictators are so much smoother and more refined. Can’t wait to shave him.

    2. Keep your powder dry

  14. la Hood:

    “What the fuck is wrong with those guys? High Speed Rail is AWESOME!”

  15. Senate Democrats prepare for the debate over spending cuts.

    Nnnnnaaaaayyyy….Nnnnnnaaaaayyyy…Nnnnnnaaayyyyy….

    Oh, they’re vocalizing.

  16. More la Hood:

    “Holes, my man, holes. We gotta get out there and dig some; and then, when we’ve got the bountiful supply of holes we truly need, we’ll fill ’em all back in! And then….. PROFIT!”

  17. Current local temperature: -10 (F).

    Thought you’d like to know.

    Damn you, Punxatawney Phil! Damn you to Hell!

    1. Just wait for this Global Warming thing everybody’s been talking about to kick in, and then you’ll be good.

      1. …still waiting…

    2. Huh. Current local temp here is mid 60’s.

      1. 70 degrees in sunny Orlando.

    3. It’s February.

    4. That’s actually cold. I’m getting sick of all these Ithacans complaining about how the winters are so tough here when it’s 20 degrees out. That’s a fine spring day.

    5. Current local temperature: 75 F or so.

      Projected low for next few days: 70F.

  18. Are these protests ever gonna spread somewhere outside of northern Africa and the Middle east? Looks like the ChiComms have put a stop to any dissent there.

    Or is it a muslim thing?

    1. What if the Chinese military suddenly sided with the protesters over there? I hate popcorn, but I’d whip up a tub of it for that.

      1. I doubt it, but you never know.

      2. You hate popcorn? What are you, some kind of monster?

        1. I used to work at a hospital where every goddamn microwave in the place smelled like butter microwave popcorn. Ever since then I just pass on the stuff. And yes, I am some kind of monster.

  19. but I thought the lefties love Chavez – he “helps” the poor people.

    1. He’s certainly made more of them.

  20. I wonder if all these revolutions in the Middle East have made gun control advocates rethink their position on the 2nd amendment.

    I have a theory…

  21. There’s a brutal campaign ad waiting to be made on the Obama’s partying ways.

    Intercut scenes from their various lavish bashes with scenes from mayhem around the world or misery here at home. I’m sure there’s a few choice “shared sacrifice” quotes from Obama you could sprinkle in.

    1. Reason.tv should be on that like a fat guy on an all you can eat buffet.

      1. I’ve been banned from the all-you-can-eat buffet.

        1. It’s the neckbeard.

          1. I keep it high and tight, mofo.

            1. JK

              So what was the ban for? You passing the rice and bread and going right for the shrimp?

              1. “Do these sound like the actions of a man who truly had all he could eat?”

            2. High and tight on the first chin doesn’t count…

          2. I gots a chest beard

        2. Plates. Like condoms, they reduce the enjoyment but make it safe for more people to eat of the same buffet.

          1. Thanks, Emily Post.

        3. Pimply-faced kid: That man ate all our shrimp! And two plastic lobsters!

          Captain McAllister: ‘Tis no man. ‘Tis a remorseless eatin’ machine!

    2. Republican partying = insensitive and uncaring

      Democratic partying = hip and cool

      1. It’s been that way since the 1960 election.

    3. Did any of the parties feature cake? At any point, did a female partygoer give other partygoers permission to begin consuming this dessert, on camera?

      Just asking… no reason…

      1. Not catching that cultural reference … link?

    4. Just do statements from 2008 campaign trail followed by ones from his presidency.

      Obama ’08: If a mandate was the answer we could solve poverty by mandating everyone get a job.

      Obama ’10: We are just saying you have to pay for your own insurance so we aren’t picking up the bill for you.

      Obama ’08: I will not raise taxes on anyone making less than %0,000 a year.

      Obama ’09: *Signing/defending cigarette tax*

      Obama ’10: Listen, I think the fact that you have to go to the definition of tax indicates you are reaching. It’s a fine, not a tax.

      Etc, etc

    1. What, he’s doing GEICO commercials now?

      1. GEICO is branching out into hiker’s insurance.

        1. Steve is a gentle, misunderstood creature. He probably thought the little girl was lost, and merely wanted to escort her safely to the authorities. People just assume he wanted to abduct, kill, rape, and then eat the girl, like the 10 other children found in the area. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    2. That’s not STEVE SMITH, it’s George Clinton after too much crack and not enough work.

  22. In his nationally televised address on Thursday night, Mr. Maliki tried to persuade Iraqis to call off the protests, saying that loyalists of Saddam Hussein were behind the protests, and that insurgents would try to exploit the protests to sow unrest.

    I hear the trains ran on time when Saddam was in charge.

  23. There’s a brutal campaign ad waiting to be made on the Obama’s partying ways.

    Just as long as it ends with the blade of the guillotine dropping out of the shot.

    1. Srsly, printing everything in English and French? WTF?

      1. I was just surprised to find that they spell “Sasquatch” the same in French and English.

        1. I was surprised the cartoon they used showed him taking a dump. I mean, all the grainy BS videos show someone in an ape suit walking.

          1. I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be a reference to the Native American myth that a giant Sasquatch shit all over Canada to make it a fertile land.

            1. Cue Sandi in 3…2…1…

          2. Those berries’ll go right through ya.

      2. >>Srsly, printing everything in English and French? WTF?
        reply to this

        Never been to a bilingual country, I see. Yeah, seriously…and the quintessence of idiocy.

        There’s a big sign in front of the city hall in Plettenburg Bay, South Africa that says, “Plettenburg Bay” and right beside that are the words “Plettenburg Bai” for all the Afrikaners who might be stumped (and vice versa, of course).

    2. That stamp is beyond insane.

    3. You know, there’s a lot of French in English, anyway. Why not just say English is Old English and French combined and be done with it?

  24. I fully understand the teachers having their knickers in a twist. After all, what’s the “market value” of an education degree outside of the education racket? If you have an engineering degree, you can always be an engineer. A degree in chemistry a chemist, etc.

    But it must be terrifying to know that you racked up 4-5 years of student loans, and you’re one budget cut away from a receptionist’s desk, a waitress apron, or a stripper pole.

    1. Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad…

    2. I’d be curious to see the political breakdown of humanities majors and engineering, computer science, and business majors.

      I’ve just never seen a bartender or server with an engineering degree.

    3. There’s always consulting, corporate training, and tutoring.

  25. you’re one budget cut away from a receptionist’s desk, a waitress apron, or a stripper pole.

    In other words, “an honest day’s work”.

    1. Exactly

    2. Now there’s some irony. Instead of stripping to put yourself through college, you put yourself through college so you can strip.

      1. So maybe it is a good thing that the youngest teachers get laid off first because of union seniority after all.

        1. Yeah, you know you want to see Ms. Crabtree get on stage and sling those deflated volleyballs around.

        2. Visualize it Zeb! You know you want to. The feel of her Polident scented breath on your neck as she slowly grinds against your semi-turgid flesh to the strains of “Sexy Motherfucker”.

          If that paragraph doesn’t dogwhistle Warty or Sugarfree, they are AWOL.

    3. According to my in-depth studies, the stripper is the ultimate capitalist.

      1. I can attest to that.

  26. Fuckin’ Huckabees’ all over the TeeVee whoring himself for a run last night and this morning.

    Run away like your hair’s on fire…or stand and fight.

    He scares me more than Romney, and that’s saying something.

    1. They all scare me.

  27. So – what will Obama and Hillary have to say about the massacres undertaken by our brave Iraqi allies?

    I predict crickets.

  28. I’m not sure where this would go, but I find it very appropriate

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