Got Yer' Gory Soviet Work Safety Posters, Here

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[anarch]

Alt text caption contest:

But Comrade Jefferson say Tree of Liberty must be… Oh, wait.

[anarch]

And for the third one:

Buffering…

[Cunctator]

I’m guessing most of you have never worked in an industrial environment. Years ago, these same types of posters were common in American workplaces. I’ve attended “Safety Meetings” where films were shown using cadaver parts to simulate injuries, i.e. crushed body parts, severed limbs, burns etc.

Nothing too special here.

[Menthols Washington]

So, the Soviet Union was filled with extreme Three Stooges enthusiasts?

[damaged justice]

“No, comrade! Deeper! How do you expect me to receive my disability payments with such trifling wounds?

[?]

It’s the mark of the Kochtpo?o.

[?]

o

[SugarFree]

“Comrade! You have stabbed me!”

“Why are we using pitchforks in a mine? It’s dark as fuck in here, dude.”

[The Sheep]

D-

[SugarFree]

Fuck off, you bipolar attention whore.

[Ron]

Say that to his face once your blog gets OVER ONE THOUSAND VIEWS!!!11!!!

I live in NYC and a thousand people saw my face just this morning. Does that make me a successful model?

[SugarFree]

A+, Ron.

[Rather]

Are you in some fucking diabetic-induced imbecility?
Ron, you’re just stupid

[The Sheep]

You take criticism very well.

[SugarFree]

I’m not feeding you anymore, trolly.

[The Sheep]

But you will again, eventually. It’s inevitable. I’m in your head now.

Tick…tick…tick…

[Rather]

I love you sheep and bonus: I’m the only one here NOT thinking of fucking you in the ass!

[The Sheep]

How do I tell SugarFree that fat, short and pimply is not my type? Dear SugarFree, if you’re reading this, baaa-aa-ack off.

[Rather]

fat, short and pimply is not your type? Now you made the rest of these little boys cry! Sheep, why do you hate fat, short and pimply Reasonoids?

[Reasonoid]

Sheep love me! My pimples are only on my ass.

[joshua corning]

someone someday needs to explain to me the Rather hate.

Is it real?

Are you guys kidding around?

If not what did rather do to cause such hatred?

[Rather]

Vagina and tits scare these boys every time

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

Just chlamydia-infested vaginas, and hairy mole-encrusted tits.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That’s what they get for using pitchforks to plumb a column.

[Rather]

Holy shit I was looking at vintage posters last night in bed and I was writing about them today. Was that you next to me Radley? oh ya THANKS for the wake up 😉

[Warty]

Jesus, shut the fuck up, whore.

[Rather]

not a dirty whore? Lol

[Rather]

No wait, that’s not Radley next to me, it’s the rancid bum I picked up off the streets last night to smoke crack with.

He just took a shit on me lol.

[The Sheep]

My blog is on fire!

[Rather]

Lol, you pissed off sugarfree-he didn’t like his grade

[The Sheep]

He can fuck me. Again.

[Rather]

Do sheeps get freaked out when Reasonoids use sheep skinned condoms?

[Rather]

[sheep]

[The Sheep]

I hear most of them have to use strap-ons.

[How Sweet!]

Just like their mommies!

[Ice Nine]

There are more than few Darwin Award slam dunks in there.

[Jesus]

Warty, I like whores.

[Mary Magdalene]

Come here Jesus; get your sweet ass over here

[Bee Tagger]

That’s the Russian stigmata

[SugarFree]

Stigmata

[Rich]

I like the one with the wheelbarrow dropping fish. The Michelangeloesque hand eliminates possible confusion concerning the message.

[SugarFree]

I like the one with the guy being attacked by remorseless, cybernetic monochrome Pac-men. “Wakka-wakka-wakka,” indeed.

[Name Nomad]

Remember, comrade: any injury you do to yourself that makes you less able to work is damaging state property. All violators will be prosecuted.

[Hibbert]

Karl Malone doesn’t like the look of Louis Gosset Jr’s puncture wound.

[Jill]

Nice Malone 3rd person FTW.

[Death Panelist]

Vampire leprechauns. They’re everywhere.

[Spoonman.]

“Shit, maybe if we worked for the capitalist I wouldn’t have to carry man-size containers of dangerous chemicals on my back in a wicker basket.”

[Yakov]

In Soviet Russia, fork pitches you!

[West Texas]

It literally says, “take care with pitchforks!”

[petronius]

When I was a kid living near the railroad yards, they wouold distribute little comic books about how dangerous the trains were. they had pictures of kids being run down by loose flatcars, losing and eye when they set off a railroad torpedo (essentially a big percussion cap used as a warning signal) and other gory scenes. It was fun!

[cmace]

Railroad torpedoes were fun. I still have all my fingers and eyes.

[P Brooks]

Vampire leprechauns. They’re everywhere.

This (for whatever reason) is one of the funniest comments ever.

Thank you.

[JD the elder]

Of course, they missed one of the big ones, namely, “Do not use Soviet equipment.” (Not 100% joking there. A friend of mine, who emigrated from the USSR, has burn scars on one arm because his father was boiling water in a kettle, and when he lifted it, the handle broke off.)

[Yakov Smirnoff]

In soviet union we use pitchforks to shovel snow.

[????? ??????]

Thanks