Julian Assange Gets Bail, Elicits Stupid Commentary

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Today a British judge granted bail to WikiLeaks editor Julian Assange in his sex-crimes extradition case; the bail conditions include wearing an electronic tag, observing a curfew, and reporting regularly to the cops.

Meanwhile, we have a new frontrunner in the ongoing Stupidest Comment Ever Made About WikiLeaks competition. It comes from the Australian MP Bronwyn Bishop, who on Sunday tweeted: "Mr Assange should be aggressively interrogated until he reveals the location of the stolen cables, so they can be retrieved." (Here's a lead for the interrogator: I hear he's stored them in a series of tubes.)

Update/Correction/Contrition: Joke's on me: That Twitter feed is a spoof. That puts me in the running for the Stupidest Comment competition, meta division. My apologies to the real Bronwyn Bishop, wherever Julian Assange has hidden her.

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  1. “Mr Assange should be aggressively interrogated until he reveals the location of the stolen cables, so they can be retrieved.”

    Quick! What’s the number to 911?

  2. Julian Assange has been eliciting stupid commentary for weeks now. In fact, I’ll make a bet we’ll see some more in this very thread!

    Who’s got a $20 they want to lose?

    1. Nice try. The second anyone takes your bet, they lose.

    2. ADIOS TURDNUGGETS

      Do I win?

    3. You must not read Moynihan.

  3. This is where Smithers would explain the internet to Mr. Burns.

  4. Pah! Flimshaw! Why this internet business is just a passing fad, like lace parasols and Chubby Checker.

      1. holy shit! Is that some type of Onion article? WOW, it is hard to be that wrong.

        1. To be fair, that article is from 1995.

        2. To be fair, that article is from 1995.

  5. Can’t we just reel those cables back in?

  6. If those cables were in her ass, she’d know.

    Or maybe she wouldn’t.

  7. Is this really that dumb? Couldn’t he be referring to cables not yet published? Obviously they’re still on the interwebs somewhere, but the guy is essentially asking for access to them

    1. “She”. There is a Bronwyn who occasionally posts here (USian, so not an Aussie legislator).

  8. DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM…

    1. Think what you will about Assange but the minute this bloviating douchehog enters the scene, whatever loftiness the debate held deteriorates by a couple quantum levels. The Moore Effect, successor to the Sharpton Effect.

  9. That quote has to be a joke. No one is that stupid.

      1. It fooled the fools here.

  10. Meanwhile, we have a new frontrunner in the ongoing Stupidest Comment Ever Made About WikiLeaks competition. It comes from the Australian MP Bronwyn Bishop, who on Sunday tweeted: “Mr Assange should be aggressively interrogated until he reveals the location of the stolen cables, so they can be retrieved.” (Here’s a lead for the interrogator: I hear he’s stored them in a series of tubes.)

    30 seconds of Googling reveals it’s a spoof account.

    1. You beat me to it. IT’S A FAKE!

    2. There’s a fabulous new way to bust a self righteous google search on someone: http://www.lmgtfy.com

      For example: http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=fake+…..terrogated

      1. New? Where have you been?

          1. I’m not sure I can ever show my face here again.

  11. Noted & corrected. Thanks.

    1. Joke’s on me: That Twitter feed is a spoof.

      The joke within the joke that takes the meta-meta prize is that, judging by her bio on wikipedia, she seems like a complete tool and probably does think Assange should be forced to reveal their location so they can be retrived.

      There’s only one way to know for sure: aggressive interrogation.

      (Fair to judge and interrogate politicians over what we imagine they think? You decide.)

  12. It is my understanding that Assage’s “crime” such as it was is punishable in Sweden by a small fine and does not mandate jail time. The guy could have literally gone to the police station and paid a fine like it was a traffic ticket.

    Is this not true? If it is, why the hell did he go on the lam? If it is true, this whole thing is starting to look like performance art, like he wanted to be on the Interpol list our of some weird desire for publicity.

    1. True. You’d almost think that foreign governments routinely turned people in their custody over to the States with a little bit of arm-twisting, and that the States routinely turned people in their custody over to foreign tyrannies for a little round of hot poker in the ass. Why, who wouldn’t head in to the cops and pay their fine?

      Here’s a question for you, John: Why does a crime that merits a small fine get somebody on an Interpol watchlist?

      1. If I had governments all over the world after me and was living peaceably in Sweden, the last thing I would want to do is not pay a fine and give them an excuse to grab me.

        Sure, the Interpol alert is the result of his wikileaks activities and would never happen if he were anyone else. But that doesn’t explain why he didn’t just pay the fine. There were no other outstanding warrants for him. And Sweden couldn’t have given him jail time for the “crime”. Not paying the fine and becoming a fugitive is about the dumbest thing he could have done unless he wanted the publicity. Then it makes perfect sense.

        1. If you mean “send a check in the mail”, sure. If you mean “put yourself in custody”, that seems unwise for someone as paranoid about the U.S. as Assange.

          1. He ended up putting himself in the custody of British police anyway. Who is more likely to turn him over to the US, the UK or Sweden? Further, there were and are no other warrants for him in the world besides this. There was no legal basis to turn him over to anyone. To say he was smart to leave, you have to believe that there was going to be a CIA team waiting to grab him at the Swedish police station, which is just nonsense.

            There is really no defending his going on the lam other than to say he likes the attention.

            1. Who can say? I think it’s strange, but maybe he had some reason to trust the British more than the Swedes.

              If the guy thought he was innocent, then the fact that Swedes were coming so hard after him on such a minor charge suggested they were basically carrying out the U.S. agenda and he would be at risk in their custody, so it’s understandable that he would be afraid of the Swedish government.

              He may have thought that Britain was the least bad of his options — consider that he originally leaked the cables to the Guardian, so he may have believed that he would have stronger MSM support there. Plus, the British people seem to be much more pro-Wikileaks than Merkins from the impressions I get. Last, but perhaps not least, he’s from a Commonwealth Realm; I imagine that translates to favorable legal status in the UK, versus a random furriner.

          2. Assange seems to be a serious nut.

            1. As long as he’s not a silly nut.

    2. They can still take you into custody pending trial, even for an offense with no jail time.

      1. That is not what I have read. Do you have a link that says that is the case and that that was what Sweden intended to do? And I will be the first to admit I am not a Swedish lawyer. But, they can’t throw you in jail in the US for trial for a crime that can only result in a fine. I doubt they can in Sweden either. But, I am willing to stand corrected if you could show me a link where it says that.

    3. John, I think you are assuming that if he had cleared up the rape charge, that no other charges would have been confabulated against him.

      I hate to sound all conspiratoid, but I’m not sure that’s a sound assumption.

      What’s really silly is the apparent assumption by Our Masters that jailing Assange will affect the continued operation of WikiLeaks. It hasn’t so far, and I don’t know why it would.

  13. I googled Bronwyn Bishop, and it is clear, having seen her picture, that it is not worth “aggressively interrogating” her wiki. Which I would have considered if she were HAWT, and not the dried up old hag that she is.

    Please return to your normal duties.

    1. Also….to myself….Sexxxxxxxist!!!!!!1!!

      1. It’s par for the course here. Just look at the comments for any video featuring a female contributor.

  14. If there’s one thing we commenters here at Reason Hit & Run know everything about, it’s stupid commentary.

  15. Give openness a chance.

    1. HARHARHARHAR – DURGH!

      1. LEAVE JULIUS ALONE!!!

  16. From Greenwald:

    “But if current reports are correct — that the Obama DOJ has now convened a Grand Jury to indict WikiLeaks and Julian Assange — this will constitute a far greater assault on press freedom than anything George W. Bush managed, or even attempted.”

  17. I think those cables were sold for scrap copper. Probably melted down by now.

  18. Hey lay off Bronnie!

    She’s my local MP (northern beaches Sydney) and she is renowned as not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. However she’ll attend the opening of an envelope and is mostly harmless so is kinda semi popular.

    I’ve seen her attend an ocean swim event in a sarong…for a woman of her..ah..mileage it was a pretty ballsy effort.

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