Define Moral Turkey

Peter Suderman | 11.24.2010 11:58 AM

If, like me, you're the sort of person who finds it difficult to resist perusing any graphic that includes the words "Normative Turkey Ethics," you'll want to take note that The Onion has President Obama's personal flowchart depicting the ethical considerations involved in this year's turkey pardoning.

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Max 14 years ago

You like laughing at official eenimies, don't you fanatic cultist fuck?
1. Old Mexican 14 years ago
  
  Re: Max,
  
  Max, H&R's pet yorkie.
  
  Here Max! Here, boy! Go fetch! That's a good boy, yeah!
  
  Noooo, no, no! Don't do your banalities on the carpet! Bad Max! Bad, bad Max!
  1. - 14 years ago
    
    It's Thanksgiving week. How about a moratorium on responding to "Max"?
2. slurpman 14 years ago
  
  *gobble*
  *gobble*
  *gobble*
fresno dan 14 years ago

obviously racist, you turkey
TrickyVic 14 years ago

Just proves being President isn't easy. 😉
Warren 14 years ago

The annual pardoning of the turkey is just about the stupidest thing the President does. I wish they'd stop it.
1. AlmightyJB 14 years ago
  
  If they spent all of their time doing stuff like this instead of pushing legislation, I'd no problem with that.
2. Every lefty, in unison 14 years ago
  
  Well BUUUUUSH did it!!!!11!
3. Aresen 14 years ago
  
  If they pardoned every turkey, they'd have to let Charlie Rangel off.
John Thacker 14 years ago

President Obama has failed to actually pardon or commute the sentence of an actual human, though, even any of those who are in prison for crack convictions on sentences that we've now decided are too long.
Warty 14 years ago

When I am President, I will personally slaughter a thousand turkeys and a hundred steers on Thanksgiving. Vote Warty 2020: Fuck your mercy.
1. Zeb 14 years ago
  
  You've got my vote.
2. Barely Suppressed Rage 14 years ago
  
  I like the cut of this guy's jib.
3. AlmightyJB 14 years ago
  
  It puts the oil on it's skin
Zeb 14 years ago

Did Bush start this shit, or has it been going on longer than that? Stopping the turkey pardon would be some change I can believe in. Not only is it just plain stupid (what crime was the turkey convicted of exactly?), but makes a mockery of the important and underused pardon power the president has.
1. Warty 14 years ago
  
  I want to say that Eisenhower started it.
2. sarcasmic 14 years ago
  
  Here ya go!
  
  http://tinyurl.com/292ff4k
3. John Thacker 14 years ago
  
  Snopes claims that Bush the Elder started it in 1989, though lots of people "remember" other Presidents doing similar things. But GHWB apparently made it an annual tradition.
  1. bohica 14 years ago
    
    I'm pretty sure Ford pardoned at least one turkey...
4. Aresen 14 years ago
  
  If it were my choice, I whack the damn thing with full media coverage.
  
  Turkeys are nasty, aggressive birds.
J sub D 14 years ago

Headline the Onion missed:

First Lady Pardons Tofu Turkey
1. John Thacker 14 years ago
  
  But they did get:
  
  Biden Pardons Single Yam In Vice Presidential Thanksgiving Ritual
Aresen 14 years ago

And I suppose this is as good a place as any to express my wish that my American friends enjoy their day of mass meleagricide.
Jim 14 years ago

Can turkey kill Man?
Terr 14 years ago

This ritual is fucking retarded. Almost retarded as passing legislation.
Cuddly Soft Balls of Death 14 years ago

I hope we someday learn the whole thing was nothing but a cruel hoax, and that every last one of the 'pardoned' turkeys was actually beaten to death by school children, dressed, then anonymously donated to Americas wealthiest, and most vocal vegetarians, all under the express orders of Dick Cheney and Carol Burnett.
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Define Moral Turkey

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