"Will Using the Prefix Cyber Make Me Look Like An Idiot?"

The Internet is here to help.

Comments

[SugarFree]

I just wish The Internet looked more like it did in The Lawnmower Man. The way The Internet was supposed to look.

[Pro Libertate]

You’re just using the wrong browser.

[AlmightyJB]

or smoking the wrong pot

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

What I’d like to know is how the fuck they got that movie out of the story that Steven King actually wrote. The only thing the movie had in common with the written story was the title.

[Episiarch]

Incorrect; the internet is supposed to look like what it looked like in Weird Science: a series of tubes. With Kelly LeBrock.

[Pro Libertate]

Memphis Kelly or Vegas Kelly?

[Joe M]

Like you have to ask. Memphis all the way!~

[Joe M]

Although that could be an allegory for the Internet in general: it promises Memphis and delivers Vegas.

[Id]

Lately I’ve been wondering how I accomplished anything before the Internet. With books I guess? I dunno…. Then I realized what used to take me 10 hours now takes 1 and I spend the other 9 reading stupid blogs. So there’s that.

[waffles]

Amen to that! Praise the new cyberworld of ease and success!

[Dagny T.]

When I was a kid and people still talked about “cybersex”, even at 11 I was smart enough to realize that “cybersex” was just typing and masturbating.

[CyberOO=========D]

Yup.

[skr]

But what about when I use a phrase along these lines, “It does an ageing/old cyberpunk’s heart good to see…”?

[?]

If you say you’re a science fiction writer, the answer it gives you is wrong.

Ada Sushi Dorito roughly guided Punch Spacecheese’s already spurting cyberock into the horribly gnashing meat-gears of her cyberunt.

[sloopyinca]

This ranks right up (down) there with the Friday Funnies.

Try this on for size. Teh arrogance is just incredible in this asshole.

[Warty]

“In some parts of the world people are accustomed to spending a higher percentage of their income on food, but in America we suffer from sticker shock because of Wal-Mart and other discount vendors,” reads Don Otto’s online farewell. “The reality is we pay for what we eat. Some are informed enough to know what that statement means. For those that don’t, I am not going to elaborate.”

I hope you monsters who didn’t buy from her are happy. Monsters!

[Joe M]

From Atlas Shrugged:

“If you don’t understand it, I can’t explain,” he said in the tone of a mystic who implies that a lack of understanding is the confession of a shameful inferiority.

[Pip]

So Atlas Shrugged is about black people?

[Almanian]

Stoopid customers! Former customers I mean!!11!

[Pro Libertate]

Egad. No wonder our national economy is fucked up.

[prolefeed]

Nah, people like this going out of business is why at least parts of the economy are working fairly well. Fucked up would be a government bailout that kept their doors open.

[Pro Libertate]

I meant that mindset, not the result.

[Trespassers W]

These are the sweetest-tasting tears I’ve savored since last Tuesday.

[Cyto]

Wow. Why those idiots customers wouldn’t buy free range eggs at $8.50 per dozen is beyond me… They really don’t understand customer loyalty at all….

Ok, you caught me – I’m being sarcastic. What I really don’t understand is how she got anyone to patronize the place at all. It sounds perfectly horrible. 400%-600% markeup for “free range” and “local” foods, and she can’t figure out why nobody wanted to shop there.

[Spartacus]

Although pricey eggs may not be for everyone, salsa, made in nearby Jamaica Plain, is a bit more accessible for the everyday shopper.

No wonder they failed. That there salsa’s made in New York City!!!

[Brett L]

Get a rope.

[wylie]

Racist.

[Brett L]

Me and the Pace picante sauce ad writers. Before Pace got bought out by a group based in NYC.

[prolefeed]

What is the opposite of “market failure”? Because these arrogant idiots going out of business is a huge success.

[Jason]

Creative Destruction?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The day we stop using phrases like “surfing the web” or “virtual reality” or “compuserve” is the day the cybernazis win.

[Almanian]

They came for A-holeOnline users, and I said nothing because I had a real ISP….

[Bee Tagger]

You know who tried to create a reality in his own image but never used the word cyber, don’t you?

[sloopyinca]

If McDonalds in San Francisco changed the name of the Happy Meal to the Gay Meal, would they be OK with the Board of Supes?

[Almanian]

I was thinking Cyber Meal

[sloopyinca]

George Jetson would be fine with this.

[Almanian]

Is he on the SF city council?

[George Jetson]

Why yes, I am.

JANE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING! JANE!!!

[AlmightyJB]

this cyberarticle is cyberstupid.

[Almanian]

So this is kind of a cybersurvey, right?

[AlmightyJB]

I cyberthink I’m going to use my cyberpenis to fuck that cybersurvey in it’s cyberass.

[Almanian]

Cyberbully!!!

[Pro Libertate]

The prefix cyber- is derived from the Greek ?????????? (kybernetes), which means helmsman. This has come to represent a computer prefix because the ancient Greeks were aware of Mr. Sulu, a helmsman who used computers to steer a starship, because of that time a Greek god got his ass kicked by Kirk.

[Episiarch]

Kirk has kicked multiple “gods'” asses.

“What does God need with a starship?”

[Pro Libertate]

Yes. Frankly, I’m surprised that he’s not worshiped as one.

[Episiarch]

Kirk got in a fight with a Gorn and won. Picard got in a fight with a spring and won.

[Pro Libertate]

I like Picard, but comparing him with Kirk is like comparing a modern president to George Washington.

[Episiarch]

When Picard found humans from the 20th century, he returned them to Earth. When Kirk found humans from the 20th century, he beamed them to a hostile planet.

[Pro Libertate]

And gave them a hot modern woman to use as they will. Kirk was a man’s man, after all.

[Jeff P]

Yeah, but Kirk would have fucked the smoke-puffing orifice on the front of the Guild Steersman in the Dune movie given half a chance. The back of a Talosian’s head would have gotten him hard.

[Pro Libertate]

Kirk would’ve taken the spice essence and, through sheer will power alone, become the Kwisatz Haderach.

Speaking of Kirk and powers, how come he didn’t keep a vial of that stuff from “Plato’s Step Children” on hand for situations where he got into a bind?

[Jeff P]

I see Kirk, Finny, and Gary Mitchell pulling off a panty raid at the Bene Gesserit convent…

[Pro Libertate]

And a nameless red-shirted guy they unfortunately had to leave behind.

[Xenocles]

Picard killed the Borg with a thought.

[sloopyinca]

I was about to say they did.

“Now the second thing we observe upon the time, it is said “in these days.” What days were these? Days wherein the vengeance of the Lord fastens upon Bablyon and upon the enemies of the Kirk. Then Israel and Judah shall come back to their own land to seek the Lord and to join in a covenant with Him.

Can anybody please tell me what the fuck they are saying in this (cyber)piece?

[Pro Libertate]

It’s a reference to that episode where Kirk threatens to blow a whole planet up if it doesn’t stop fighting a fake/real war with another world in its system.

[Mo]

“Behold a god who blogs!”

[Episiarch]

The Cyberdise Syndrome?

[Pro Libertate]

Helmsmansdise Syndrome? Was that one of those unaired episodes that helped fuel Takei’s hatred of the Shat?

[Pro Libertate]

I am Kirok!

[Fiscal Meth]

Well then I’m gonna go have some helmsman-sex.

[Pro Libertate]

In helmsman-space?

[Fiscal Meth]

Helmsman-bullying is killing our kidzz!!

[Nor West]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cybernetics

The term cybernetics stems from the Greek ?????????? (kybern?t?s, steersman, governor, pilot, or rudder ? the same root as government). YIKES!

[Pro Libertate]

I prefer my interpretation.

[Nor West]

.. me too!

[Cyber House Ruler]

All your cyber are belong to us

[Pro Libertate]

All your helmsmen are belong to us?

[Jeff P]

Can I still use “Khyber” as a prefix?

[Pro Libertate]

Helmsman Pass? Waht does that mean? Was Sulu an Afghan?

[Pro Libertate]

What does that mean, I mean.

[Juvenile Lurker]

Q: Cold enough for you?

A: Cyber.

[Kristen]

Sirius Cybernetics Corporation?

[Almanian Hemingway]

Our cyber who art in cyber, cyber be thy name thy kingdom cyber thy will be cyber as it is in cyber. Give us this cyber our daily cyber and cyber us our cyber as we cyber our cybers and cyber us not into cyber but deliver us from cyber; pues cyber.

Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.

[sloopyinca]

That was the smurfiest smurf I’ve ever smurfed.

[Kristen]

Spam filter wouldn’t let me post Sirius Cybernetics Corporation? What does the reason spam filter have against Douglas Adams?

[Cuddly Soft Balls of Death]

Since the ‘tards and teh gheyz have both taken their special words away from us, from being all offended and shit, I propose adopting the word “cyber” to replace both of them.

“YOU NEVER GO FULL CYBER!”
“Dude, those shoes make you look cyber.”

I mean, nobody’s going to write letters to the editor that say “I’m a cyber-American, and I am offended by the use of this term in any demeaning way.”