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"Footloose"-style Dance Ban Comes to Small Town in Ohio

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USA Today via Cincy Enquirer reports on what happens after Race to the Top Initiative solves all K-12 education problems:

Photos appearing to show suggestive "dirty dancing" at a high school's recent homecoming have prompted an Ohio school district to suspend dances. The Bellevue Gazette says photos from the event on the newspaper's Facebook page prompted an angry phone call from Bellevue Superintendent Kim Schubert, who called the pictures "a shock."

Schubert issued a statement Tuesday saying inappropriate dancing at school events would not be tolerated. She says no further dances will be held in the district 45 miles southeast of Toledo until students are given some rules on behavior expected from them.

More here.

When will teachers learn? If Kevin Bacon could defeat John Lithgow's repression in Footloose, if the dancing paperboys could defeat Joseph Pulitzer in Newsies, and if jazz-dancing teens could defeat the Nazis in Swing Kids, what hope does Kim Schubert have in defeating the dirty dancers of Bellevue, Ohio?

Reason.tv and Drew Carey reported on a Footloose situation in Arizona a while back. Even in Barry Goldwater's home state, it seems, uptight squares are always trying to clamp down on the god-given right to shimmy and shake. Even in the middle of the desert after a steak dinner with the spouse and kids.

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  1. I’m against the dance ban and all, but I will say one of hte creepiest things I ever saw was an 8th grade “prom” with 13 year old kids dirty dancing in hoochie mama outfits to bump and grind music. It looked like Roman Polanski’s living room.

    1. Hell, I recently chaperoned (dear God I feel old) a prom for a small girls’ school, so you know they’re all sheltered more than normal and everyone knows everyone else. What I ended up seeing was slightly disturbing. And I graduated in ’96.

      1. Anything goes. Don’t libertarians believe that morality and behavior are objectively impossible to define, and futile to enforce?

        1. I don’t know the answer to your question, but I do know that frottaging 13 year olds are creepy.

          1. Unless you’re 13 years old. I remember a dance held at a church hall, where the chaparones had to intervene.

            Well, I didn’t they had to at the time, but they disagreed.

            1. When I was 13 it was the best thing on the planet: closest you could get to having sex without having to sneak around the ‘rents.

        2. I think you are confusing libertarians with current-day liberals. I always thought libertarians were pretty clear that your liberty stops when it begins to interfere with my liberty. I think that’s pretty objective, no?

          1. In many cases, yes. But think about the difference between me shining one of those theater/car lot lights directly into your home window and leaving my front porch light on at night.

  2. Photos appearing to show suggestive “dirty dancing” at a high school’s recent homecoming have prompted an Ohio school district to suspend dances.

    In “Footloose,” the dances were banned not because of any “dirty dancing” (rather because some highly regarded jock had died when returning from a dance, driving drunk) nor was the dancing “Dirty Dancing” style. You seem to have confused the two movies.

    1. By the way, I found the two referenced movies to be corny and preposterous, especially Footloose. But the chicks digged them, which ment I could not complain about them too much back when they were released…

      1. They both suck pretty bad.

  3. This has been misreported. It’s actually a Kevin Bacon ban.

    1. I’d settle for a Kenny Loggins ban.

      1. I thought the USA PATRIOT Act deported him.

      2. I’d settle for a Kenny Loggins ban.

        Friggin’ A. Kevin Bacon has at least done some valid things in his time. Also, who else are we to calculate degrees from if we ban Bacon?

        1. Am I the only one who liked Stir Of Echos?

          1. I haven’t seen it, so I can’t comment. I was thinking about Mystic River, Sleepers, A Few Good Men, Plains, Trains and Automobiles.

            Admittedly, he doesn’t have the broadest range, but he (or his agent) knows what kind or roles he’d do well in.

            1. wait…Plains, Trains and Automobiles? I missed Bacon in that one (or just haven’t seen it recently enough.)

            2. For the love of God people, Animal House.

              1. I didn’t think people would remember his role in that.

              2. He was also in Friday the 13th – the original.

          2. No. Thats a great movie. A teeny-tiny little Cathrine Erbe pre L&O-CI days.

            1. Erbe-a-licious.

  4. […]and if jazz-dancing teens could defeat the Nazis in Swing Kids[…]

    By the way, when I found that movie uploaded in YouTube, the user (some broad) asserted that the Nazis were libertarian, in her comments. When I asked her to explain why, she threatened me to have me blocked. That’s how far reasonable discussion will go with these twits.

    1. You actually argue with the TubeTards?
      Maybe it’s time to step away from the computer.

      1. Re: ?,

        Sometimes, temptation gets the better of me…

        1. I feel your pain.

    2. One of the biggest problems for libertarians is that people have no idea what we advocate. Nazis were, of course, about as far away from our ideals as you can get.

    3. You know, Swing Kids should have been a good movie. But for whatever reason, I just couldn’t take the whole “swing rebellion” thing seriously and ended up laughing at every “dramatic” scene.

      1. “Swing Heil! Swing Heil!”
        you found that laughable? what kind of monster are you?

    4. YouTube has the dumbest commenters ever. Whenever I see someone make a sensible remark, I want to reply to them “RUN! Get out of here!”

      Seriously, even on classical music videos, the commenters usually sound like mentally challenged 11 year-olds.

      1. That’s “democratic anarchy” for you. It isn’t pretty.

      2. Re: BakedPenguin,

        Whenever I see a commenter in a classical music video post something like “This sucks!,” I know I am traveling through a dark road of inanity…

  5. I know that this is supposed to be funny, but what would reason.com do . . . short of dismanteling the U.S. Dept. of Ed.? Do you permit your daughters to dry hump in front of you?

    1. “Hey, you kids, break it up.”

      You know, like, actually chaperoning.

      1. +1
        school admin and parents are too scared to actually correct behavior, so the only way they can think of to deal with it is to stop all dances altogether.
        Wimps.

        1. My sister is a teacher and male colleagues often ask her to approach female students about skimpy clothing because if a male teacher notices your butt crack it’s sexual harassment.

      2. What if 100 couples are engaged? What if half of the company refuses to comply with requests? What’s the penalty for non-compliance?

          1. Please, if I’m missing something obvious, fill me in. I want to know what you would do as a chaperone, principal, superintendent, et al if (when “Drunk Girls” starts to spin) 100 15 yr. old girls bend over at 90 in unison and 100 15 yr. old boys belly-up behind them.

            1. I believe the typical response when someone refuses to follow the rules of a social gathering is to ask them to leave.

              1. But there’s 100 of them, wylie! 100! WHAT WILL YOU DOOOOO

                1. If you eliminate most of the dancers aren’t you effectively banning the dance?

                  1. If you eliminate most of the dancers aren’t you effectively banning the dance?

                    Effectively, except for the kids who want to stay enough to behave. Then the kids out in the cold start to reassess their behavior in lieu of the consequences.

                    (Note: I avoided a “Kicking smokers out of restaurants didn’t ban smoking” comparison.)

                    1. Then why is Schubert held up for ridicule. She has eliminated the dancers because they won’t behave.

                  2. no, because anyone who is willing to dance without rubbing on each other can still attend.
                    Look, either the dirty dancing bothers the administration and/or parents or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, nothing needs to be done, let the kids have at it. If it does, those who are doing it are asked to stop or else leave. If everyone leaves, that’s their choice, so what?

                2. The problem is logistics. How do you tell 200 people to “cut it out”? Do you do it face to face? How do you keep track? How many times do you tell them?

                  1. You do that by not saying “cut it out”. Just tell them to hit the dorr. The message will spread pretty fast.

                  2. you work for the government in some capacity, don’t you?
                    either that, or you’re only 20 years old.

                    1. I meant juhes — I can’t seem to master these threaded comments —

                    2. everyone works for the gov’t.

                    3. “everyone works for the gov’t”

                      good one, you got me there 😉

                    4. everyone works for the gov’t.

                      Not till the individual mandate for PPACA kicks in.

                    5. This isn’t a hard concept. You have a rule going in (when I was in middle school it was 8 inches). If someone violates the rule, you warn them once. If they violate it again, they are kicked out.

                      I had a middleschool teacher that would walk up to dancing couples with a ruler to make sure they were 8 inches apart. The dances were always packed, and there was rarely anyone thrown out.

              2. I agree. Not everyone that goes to these dances think faux sex on the dance floor is appropriate. Let the classy kids have their fun. The commoners that can’t follow the rules can go somewhere else to finish what they’ve started.

        1. What if 100 couples are engaged? What if half of the company refuses to comply with requests? What’s the penalty for non-compliance?

          Former teacher here: Stop the song. General announcement about rules of appropriate conduct. Start song back up. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

          1. Former teacher here

            DOUBLE DIPPER!

        2. What if 100 couples are engaged?

          I don’t believe kids should be getting married.

          (How did I miss that low-hanging fruit?)

    2. Nobody puts baby in a corner.

    3. If you’re daughter looked like this…

      [gizmodo.com]

    4. outdoors: garden hose
      indoors: depends…spray bottle/ super soaker
      school gymnasium: fire extinguisher
      (although it’s never a bad idea to have the fire dept standing by…for large groups behaving badly)

  6. I blame those Glee kids. And meth.

    1. Hey now, it’s not all meth. Just that strawberry shit.

  7. … The way God intended dancing to be.

  8. Do you permit your daughters to dry hump in front of you?

    Not until I get the webcam set up.

    1. Only if they’re humping on me.

    2. I don’t understand this question. If you are a chaperone at a dance and it is in fact your daughter who is doing the unholy deed of dirty dancing, then you would up to her and say “Stop that, we’re going home”.

      Wow, I’m a better parent than almost everyone in Ohio and I’m a 23-year-old with no children.

  9. In middle school (a dozen years ago) a local Catholic school held the “best” dances because they wouldn’t pull people off of each other. For $5, you could make out with someone in a corner or grind till your heart’s content without a priest reprimanding you.

    It was years until I learned the full hypocrisy of the Catholic church.

    1. Indulgences are a time-honored tradition. Besides, the priests get to hear better confessions that way.

      1. Is this the real reason for the screens in the confessional booths (at least that’s the way they’re set up in the movies; I’m a lapsed Protestant, not Catholic).

  10. school admin and parents are too scared to actually correct behavior, so the only way they can think of to deal with it is to stop all dances altogether.

    You don’t actually expect them to make a qualitative judgement, do you? I mean, differentiating between the behavior of student A and student B wouldn’t be fair.

    Some people are better at grinding than others. Self-esteem is at stake, here.

  11. What’s the penalty for non-compliance?

    Death camps; we’re libertarians, remember?

    1. Can we work them to death in Wal-marts at least?

      1. Even better, we will have death camp Wal-marts.

    2. monocle polishing duty

  12. Who doesn’t dirty dance these days?

    I hear they are trying to ban words like goshdarnit too.

  13. If Bellevue Superintendent Kim Schubert is shocked by the photos in the paper, she better not look at the kids’ Facebook pages.

    1. up next: ban Facebook
      Seriously, I think the superintendent was more embarassed and worried what the public’s reaction was going to be than shocked herself, and that’s what motivated her to stop the dances.

      1. to be fair, she stopped the dances only “until students are given some rules on behavior expected from them.”
        But I think this is what I find troubling — the widespread belief that we can’t hold anyone responsible for bad behavior unless we’ve codified everything to the nth degree. What little common sense is left is atrophying due to lack of use, and teachers/parents won’t address kid’s behavior unless it’s been codified/every exception detailed/every possible step of consequences detailed and communicated. And it’s a game the kids know how to play “but you didn’t say I couldn’t do” whatever they’re trying to get away with.

        1. Here’s some common sense: “Curiosity killed the cat.” Here’s some more: “Nothing ventured nothing gained.”

          1. Sorry, Kc, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it understand your point.

            1. His point is that beuracracies make silly decisions.

              His answer to the silliness is to suggest that someone should boldy claim to be the king of the beuacracy. As the king guided by common sense, he will grab the beaucracy by the collar and make it behave. If it doesn’t behave, he’ll tell it to get out.

              1. Funny, I took his point as “bureaucratic regulation can’t compete with the judicious application of individual commonsense.”

                Nice way to put “king” in there, like people using common sense would suddenly put us in some sort of monarchy/fiefdom situatiuon. Nice and subtle on the scaremongering there. Not that I’d personally be afraid of a new monarchy. I’m not really sure what difference there would even be between the current gov’t and a theoretical American Monarchy. Even more cronyism and the final nail in the coffin for human and property rights?

        2. “”And it’s a game the kids know how to play “but you didn’t say I couldn’t do” whatever they’re trying to get away with.””

          Free to do something unless it’s posted otherwise. Is that wrong? Isn’t that way a free society should work?

      2. up next: ban Facebook

        The Austin Independent School District is now allowed to punish schoolchildren for cyberbullying, that is, they are allowed to punish schoolchildren for acts they do outside of school.

        1. “”they are allowed to punish schoolchildren for acts they do outside of school.””

          Preparing them for the working world.

  14. How do you tell 200 people to “cut it out”?

    Gentlemen, meet the refutation of the non-aggression principle. Our political philosophy is undone.

  15. If the inappropriate dancing took the form of males rubbing up against females in the manner of ass fucking, then these school employees are probably really naive about the things the kids have been up to.

    1. Saddlebacking!

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