Reason Morning Links: Immigration Reform Next for White House, VA Hospital Exposes Veterans, EPA Hampers Gulf Cleanup

• Up next for Obama: immigration reform.
• New York lawmakers want to ban off-the-books vacation rentals.
• Larry King Live comes to an end.
• Missouri VA hospital may have infected 1,800 veterans with hepatitis, HIV.
• EPA barred Dutch ships with capacity to clean the Gulf oil spill.

Comments

[Johnny Longtorso]

NY Times: Add Government to the List of 'Fat Cats'

[Brett L]

This is like seeing the Cubs win the World Series. A NYT editorial that makes sense. I'm buying a lottery ticket!

[ClubMedSux]

I would have preferred seeing the Cubs win the World Series.

[Brett L]

As a Cardinals fan, your pain tastes sweet to me.

[Your Local Greasy Spoon]

"In God we trust; all others pay cash."

[MP]

voters perceive both business and government as part of an interdependent system

That's the type of Hope and Change that warms my libertarian heart.

[Episiarch]

Mr. Obama's aides like to describe him as privately furious at one corporation or another, but the president seems more like a school kid whose friends are holding him back from a hallway fight, screaming "Let me at him!" but not really relishing the idea.

LOL

[Pro Libertate]

Jesus, can we stop putting children in the White House? The last adult was Old Man Bush. Not that he was a great president or anything, but he wasn't juvenile. The last three presidents have been, to varying degrees.

[John]

True. But Obama seems to take the cake. He really has managed to make Bush and Clinton look like statesman. I honestly wasn't sure that was possible. But he has.

[John]

And at least Bush had Chaney, who whatever you thought of him, was anything but a child. Obama has Biden. Chew on that for a while.

[wha?]

how was Cheney not childish again?
"Wah! Just gonna 'nore your s'poenas, wah!" etc, etc...

(the correct answer is to tell me to go fuck myself)...

[Larry King]

I'm incredibly proud that we recently made the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest running show with the same host in the same time slot, among hosts who wear suspenders and have been married at least five times to apparently insane women.

[John]

Don't forget your twenty year run as "creepiest old man on television". No one has pulled off the "my God that guy looks like someone who would be peeping in your daughter's window" look longer or better than you Larry. Your the King.

[Episiarch]

MADtv's "review" of Deadwood is a hilarious rip on Larry. A sample of Larry's review:

"It's bloody, gritty, and full of surprises. And that's just my underwear."

[John]

That is hysterical. King has always creeped me out.

[John]

I posted that Financial Post link days ago Reason. Read your own comment threads!!

[Ragin Cajun]

If you want to get noticed, you have to post as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

[Prophet (PBUM)]

Or as Me.

[John]

I like that. From now on when I have a good link that is what I will post it as. Reason will have to see it as they delete the post.

[John's Mean Troll]

You're a victim of your own over-posting, John. Less can be more.

[Fluffy]

John does in fact deserve a hat tip.

[?]

Are we in kindergarten?

[brotherben]

This is America. Where we don't keep score and Everybody gets a hat tip. Even John

[?]

OK, but only if, just for today, we get to call him Special John.

[Fluffy]

I want John to get a hat tip because I am obsessed with keeping score in everything and assigning credit and blame for everything.

[John]

Damn it Fluffy, I always knew you were a real American at heart. Keeping score and mercilessly assigning blame is was built this country.

[?]

Does reason.com employ a special intern who reads every comment in every thread, follows every posted link from said commentators, takes copious notes, and assigns "hat tip" memos to the editors? That would seem cumbersome, if not just a little bit insane.

[Fluffy]

If I can do it, they can too.

Assign Cathy Young to do it. Take it out of her "I wanna start the Cold War again" time.

[?]

No, no! Make it the Mangu! That'll be her penance for her latest "dead tree journalism" story, if not the hard-hitting "mixed drinks in the hip DC suburbs" expos

[FUCK CHU]

NRC panel: Nuclear waste dump process continues

LAS VEGAS ? A Nuclear Regulatory Commission legal panel put a proposal for a national nuclear waste dump in Nevada back on track Tuesday, at least until the full commission decides whether the Department of Energy can withdraw its plan.

Energy Secretary Steven Chu doesn't have the authority to pull the plug on a process that Congress started when it passed the Nuclear Waste Policy Act in 1982, the NRC Atomic Safety and Licensing Board said in a 47-page order issued in Rockville, Md.

"Congress directed both that DOE file the application ... and that the NRC consider the application and issue a final, merits-based decision," the panel said. It said letting the department "single-handedly derail" the process would be "contrary to congressional intent."

Nevada state and Energy Department officials promised to appeal to the full five-member commission.

http://www.google.com/hostedne.....gD9GL6EGG0

[T]

You're gonna spam every thread this morning with this bullshit, aren't you?

[FUCK CHU]

First, eat shit and die.

Second, the first post was placed in the Sotomayer due to a lack of morning links at that time.

Third, I take comfort in the knowledge that at least someone is telling an Obama cabinet member that he isn't the god damn omnipotent king and that laws passed by congress and signed by a president actually mean something.

And fourth, eat shit and die.

[Episiarch]

So the answer is "yes, I'm going to spam that in every thread".

[-]

The spam, it is us.

[ClubMedSux]

If T eats shit and subsequently dies, wouldn't it be impossible for him to AGAIN eat shit and AGAIN die? Your comment should have read:

First, eat shit and die.

Second, [blah blah blah...].

Third, [blah blah blah...].

Fourth, reanimate your shit-breath corpse.

And fourthfifth, eat shit and die again.

Please, think before you comment.

[sage]

Well thought out retort. Kudos!

[The Gobbler]

Way to address the subject of the original post. You certainly showed FUCK CHU for the spammer it be.

But I'm inclined to agree that it does warm the heart a bit to see an Obama Cabinet Secretary get a smack down.

I will now eat shit and die.

[Warty]

Why don't you go eat shit and die?

[The Gobbler]

I thought I had.

[sage]

Then do it again.

[The Gobbler]

Is that even possible?

[Pablo Brooks]

Seventy years from now this report will be a burnt scrap in a Caesar's Legion outpost.

[Steve Nash Equilibrium]

In a further sign that the welfare state is about to come crashing down around us, the U.N. says that the U.S. dollar is too unstable and should be replaced as the currency of international trade.

[Brett L]

I vote we use the Euro.

[Chief]

I vote we use wampum.

[Brett L]

Nah. Wampum has real value.

[Ska]

But you can't wipe your ass with it, can you?

[Chief]

Not at the casino.

[andy]

3 seashells?

[BakedPenguin]

I vote we don't give the UN any more dollars, since they no longer like them.

[T]

We shouldn't be giving them dollars anyway. If it's such a great idea, go hit up Ted Turner or George Soros for some scratch.

[hmm]

Second!!

[hmm]

second to backed, fucking threads

[Jordan Elliot]

Things are starting to get weird for real.

I just wonder when the next war or catastrophe will be created to further distract people.

In a cynical mood this morning apparently.

[trueofvoice]

Probably a good idea. We seem to have conclusively demonstrated we aren't responsible enough to control the world's benchmark currency.

[EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy]

It's not like we were ever appointed to the task in the first place. The market choose the US$ for it's own reasons. It hasn't been quite so unanimous on the subject lately, but frankly the UN doesn't really control the matter.

The US$ will continue to be the benchmark currency up until it isn't.

/goes off looking for a medium (or at least a small) to put the ghost of Yogi Berra to bed

[Comprehensive Reformer]

[Obama] plans to make the case for providing a path to legal status for the estimated 11 million people who live in the U.S. illegally

Isn't "a path" only for illegals discriminatory? Shouldn't everyone in the US be subject to the same criteria?

[Jordan Elliot]

Their buying votes. Obama and his gaggle of fucktards don't give a shit about further immigration. They want the immediate payoff. To hell with the rest.

[Jordan Elliot]

^*They're buying^

[Real American]

Fuck, yeah! I'll gladly pay thousands of dollars in "fees" and take a test on that Constitution thing to stay a member of The Club!

[Johnny Longtorso]

New study documents media's servitude to Government

[MP]

The stimulus is working.

The health care plan will be deficit neutral.

Derivatives and Wall Street caused the recession.

[Episiarch]

Greenwald has his problems, but sometimes he is right on the money.

[Larry King]

Up next for Obama: immigration reform. In a way, we're all immigrants, aren't we? Some say President Obama is an immigrant. What's up with those people?

New York lawmakers want to ban off-the-books vacation rentals. Books are the food of the mind. Who'd want to be "off" them, even on vacation? I read on airplanes, but I see some people don't. Maybe a vacation book law is what they need. A little kick in the mental pants.

Larry King Live comes to an end, and Larry King comes to a new beginning. Keep your eye on this kid. I think he's got it.

A Missouri VA hospital may have infected 1,800 veterans with hepatitis, HIV. Why would they do that? Don't people go to hospitals to get well? Why would they keep AIDS lying around? I don't understand.

The EPA barred Dutch ships with capacity to clean the Gulf oil spill. I think we all remember a man called "Dutch," many of us fondly. Not I. But the banketstaaf at Adalbert's on 50th is unforgettably...delish!

[C. Everett Koop]

"Our system can handle 400 cubic metres per hour," Weird Koops, the chairman of Spill Response Group Holland, told Radio Netherlands Worldwide

He's no relation to me.

Also, what's a "Ductch" ship?

[Nipplemancer]

a ship made of duct tape and dutchmen

[Hobo Chang Ba]

Weird Koops would be a good band name.

[Timon19]

Weird? Really? That's an awesome name.

[SugarFree]

Is there a big "Wheel of Fortune" type wheel the trolls spin every morning to see what handle they troll under today?

[tarran]

Actually, it looks like the Wheel of Robots on that Futurama episode where Fry ended up trading hands with the Robot Devil.

[Fitzroy]

So they will get cancelled, disappear for five years and then return with some material not even close to the quality of the former days? I could live with that.

[Episiarch]

This new stuff's going to be good! We just have to wait! There's no way they'll overly focus on previous themes and be almost completely unoriginal! No way! Tell them, NutraSweet!

[Fitzroy]

To be fair, the new episodes was pretty entertaining. But so help me god if they go back to the whole "Fry wants Leela but Leela doesn't know what she wants"-stick. It's getting annoying.

[Jordan Elliot]

Indeed.

It does look like they'll be able to get away with more on CC though. Hopefully they won't have to water stuff down because they're in a ridiculous time spot.

[ClubMedSux]

I was hoping for the Wheel of Fish...

[Ska]

Supplies!

[Jordan Elliot]

Stupid! You so stupid!

Such a great movie.

[Stanley Spadowski]

You get to drink from the firehose!!!

[Rich]

There *should* be, if you cantch my drift ...

[Rich]

"catch" -- I get so excited just thinking about it!

[Barack Obama]

Up next for Obama: immigration reform.

This ones for you Libertarians.Mexicans mow your lawn cheaper with SNAP eligibility. Don't forget to report their income.It's a win for all of us.

[James Ard]

The evidence that Obama purposefully stalled recovery efforts is very compelling. The administration may have made a fatal mistake.

[2010 Voter]

The administration may have has made yet another a fatal mistake.

FTFY

[Brett L]

Never attribute to perfidity that which stupidity explains.

[T]

I always laugh when people bring up the VA as a model of .gov run healthcare. Inevitably, they never have any experience with the VA system from the patient perspective.

[Astrid]

Well it is a model of government run healthcare, and if you've ever been treated at one you should know better than to ever want that system for anybody, much less everybody.

[P Brooks]

If American bureaucrats can't successfully defend their administrative turf, the terrorists have won.

Fucking Dutchmen; who do they think they are?

[John]

"Just a few days ago, a large slick of oil several hundred acres in size was allowed to enter Mobile Bay and hover in the lee of Gaillard Island, one of the largest Brown Pelican rookeries in the United States. According to a spokesman for BP, "None of the 135 boats working out of Dog River, or the 54 boats working out of Fairhope, had the training to handle the oil." It seems oil skimming or booming requires taking courses and passing tests given by the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration. -Otherwise you run the risk of being arrested.

Same goes for trying to save oiled birds or other wildlife. Federal permits?which can take up to three years to process?are required, and violators are subject to arrest, fines, and jail. So if an oiled mallard washes up on shore, best leave him be and call the proper authorities to scrub him down with Dawn soap, never mind if he dies before they get there."

https://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/oil-messed?page=2

This is an unbelievable disaster. And Obama really doesn't give a shit. Those people didn't vote for him and he figures it just makes the oil industry look bad. He is a real evil fucker.

[Johnny Longtorso]

KOPEL: Sotomayor targets guns now

[SugarFree]

Fat girls love TV show about fat girls.

As a bonus, the evil camp director is name Dr. Rand.

Brought to my attention by the lovely and talented Dagny, my favorite underage bingo slut.

[Episiarch]

The comments...are hilarious yet bonecrushingly stupid at the same time. I respect yet despise your cultivation of this strange enjoyment of Jezebel and Feministing. You truly are a freak.

[Dagny T.]

Sug, does being your research assistant pay more than bingo did? And can you be counted on not to say things like "you're like a little lamb; almost a woman, but still a girl"? (Actual quote)

[SugarFree]

We only pay minimum wage, but the opportunity to bask in my exalted presence is a added value that my employees seem to cherish long after they have graduated.

[Juanita]

I will work for less monies.

[John]

Could please provide some context to that statement?

[Dagny T.]

I was late to the Minimum Wage thread yesterday, but I couldn't resist telling my first job story.

[John]

Thanks. I am speechless.

[Jordan Elliot]

Uh...

Damn.

Though, that does sound kind of hot.

[Fluffy]

The truly galling thing about the marketing for that show is that they make it seem like it requires heroic bravery to "accept yourself as fat".

Last time I checked, nobody was chasing down fat people to lynch them or imprison them. We just don't want to fuck you. This is not what oppression looks like, fatties.

[Episiarch]

It's what oppression looks like to them. You don't find them attractive...and that's your fault. MALE GAZE

[Brett L]

I hear alcohol even fixes that last problem.

[John]

You talk a good game. But who are kidding. Fucking fat chicks is like riding a moped or jerking off. It is really fun until someone catches you.

[Warty]

Yeah...yeah.

[Moped Rider]

Don't knock it till you try it, man.

[Chubby Chaser]

What he said.

[Jordan Elliot]

Saw the preview for this the other day.

Fuck fat people. Hurry up and die you lazy bastards or shut the fuck up.

(This coming from a still fat 280 pound guy who used to weigh near 600.)

[P Brooks]

In part, this is probably because Mr. Obama, while seemingly eager to read from a populist script, is really too cool and contemplative to be terribly convincing in the role.

Give

me

a

fucking

break.

[Pro Libertate]

Two things Obama doesn't appear to be are cool and contemplative. What is this, Opposite Day? Year?

[?]

Wait till you see the Obama with the goatee.

[Episiarch]

But will he have a Tantalus field device?

[Astrid]

Given how this one is, the goatee Obama will likely be an improvement.

[?]

When the goatee Palin shows up, I'm getting the hell out of here.

[brotherben]

Ahhhh, the alternate landing strip.

[Pro Libertate]

As I've stated in another thread, we're living in the universe that spawns the Terran Empire rather than the Federation. So, in effect, Obama is the one with the beard. In the Federation-spawning universe, he's a libertarian.

[#]

star trek was pretty commie though

[Pro Libertate]

That's later.

[T]

Roddenberry was a utopian socialist of the first order. He was just more subtle about it than Ayn Rand. If he beat us over the head with his socialism like Rand did, libertarians would burn him in effigy.

[?]

Right. Ayn Rand was a socialist. Wow.

[?]

And your blog sucks.

[Cyto]

I love the philosophy on the skimmers. We can't allow ships that collect 97% of the oil and leave 3% behind to come in and clean up the whole spill, so we'll use ships that clean 100% of 10% of the spill. Genius!

[P Brooks]

Up next for Obama: immigration reform.

Dear Mister President Stupid:

Take a break. Go on vacation.

Spend your days in the White House basement bowling alley. Carve bars of soap into unicorns. Masturbate to Photoshopped cameraphone pics of celebrity cooch.

Just stop "reforming" things.

[Pro Libertate]

If the government freaked out and radically changed everything every time we had a recession, we'd be dead already. This crap is stupid.

[Jordan Elliot]

But you don't get it! It's SOOOOO much more worserer this time! They have to fix it or we're all going to die or something! They really care!!!

The Emo Administration.

[Rhywun]

I read that as "Elmo Administration". I guess that works too.

[J sub D]

Missouri VA hospital may have infected 1,800 veterans with hepatitis, HIV.

Government run health care to the rescue. Get a teeth cleaning and a free exposure to hepatitis and HIV. Thank Odin this hospiytal wasn't being run by an evil for profit corporation.

[Nick]

The fear comes from the letter sent to the vets, not the procedure that caused the letter. If the instruments went through the autoclave they are sterilized regardless of whether or not they were washed by hand prior to being run through the machine. But way to scare the crap out of 1812 people. Good job, government hospital!

[johnl]

Right. Can someone explain how cleaning something before it is put in the cleaner makes it not clean? Why would anyone think that?

[P Brooks]

I respect yet despise your cultivation of this strange enjoyment of Jezebel and Feministing.

It's like cutting.
Only more harmful, in the long term.

[Mike M.]

ADP estimates private sector added a mere 13,000 private sector jobs in the month of June.

Yeesh, that number is so small and insignificant, it might as well be zero. When you factor in all of the uncertainty here and around the world, and the fact that every American business knows their taxes are going to skyrocket next year, the prospects for an economic recovery any time in the near future sadly appear to be essentially zero.

[John]

If anything things are better now than they will be. Businesses are taking profits and spending money now so they can avoid the taxes next year. The tax increase in January and the early effects of Obamacare are going to torpedo the economy. It is going to be bad.

[brotherben]

Don't be such a naysayer John. Hellfire man, even I have a new job.

[John]

Good for you Ben. Glad to hear that. And I really hope I am wrong. If it were up to me Obama would jump on his unicorn and shit a few rainbows. But, I worry that will not happen.

[SugarFree]

I have a new job

Riverboat gambler is not really a job, but it can be a lucrative hobby.

[Ska]

In any case it gives you a great reason to grow that hell moustahce you've been thinking about. Also, another reason to purchase a 50 caliber Sharps rifle.

[SugarFree]

The mustache is awesome, but the outfit is the main draw, I imagine.

[T]

Wait, you need a reason to purchase guns? I just need an opportunity.

[Episiarch]

ben, you got that job as a fluffer? Congratulations, I know how much you wanted that and how hard you worked for it.

[brotherben]

You really know how to kick a man when he's down. I did not get the fluffer job. (they always came before they got me outta the shot) I was sure depressed for awhile. Now I am working for a condom recycler. I take used condoms and shake the fuck out of em. Good as new. Half the price. One of those green jobs Obama talks about.

[Jordan Elliot]

:applause:

Well done.

Congrats on the job too.

[Dagny T.]

The Jezebel crowd surprisingly takes the correct pro facial hair stance. Stopped watch, etc.

[SugarFree]

Women who don't like beards are only sexually attracted to little boys.

[Episiarch]

Bitter that the beard didn't help your success rate any, huh? Maybe you should have tried, oh, being good looking and charming instead. And my god man, why did you choose a neckbeard, one of the most threatening beards known to man?

[SugarFree]

I have the most trustworthy of beards, you waxed cretin.

[Episiarch]

Braiding your pubic hair is not trustworthy.

[brotherben]

What about shaved and bedazzled? like Jennifer Love-Hewitt's vajayjay?

[Ska]

Just when I thought she couldn't be any hotter, you drop this bombshell on us.

[Jordan Elliot]

Exactly.

Real or not, that's how it is in my mind. And it is wonderful.

[brotherben]

I'm not chasing the link (no time for a soloquickie) but she talked about it on George Lopez' talk show. clips are on youtube I think

[Jordan Elliot]

And for sharing this you just became my hero bb.

[John]

"And my god man, why did you choose a neckbeard,"

Because the mutton chops and the porn stache didn't work either.

[Joe Dirt]

What if you're so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy? Shouldn't you just go clean?

[John]

Dagny T,

Closet ZZTop, Rick Rubin and cast of Gettysburg groupie. Who would have guess?

[Dagny T.]

OK, there's obviously an art to it (and, trust Jezebel to go with the not-great example of Sam Beam). But I've been saying for a while now that the beard is due for a comeback, tough times call for manly men, etc.

[John]

The Go Tee has been played out. God does it need to go, unless you really can pull of the big nasty cowboy look, which few men can. The problem with beards is that few men can do them well. They either, as fluffy says, look like a dirty hippie or a gay porn actor.

[robc]

Goatees should not be used unless you are bald. Period.

[SugarFree]

I look really quite scary when I have a goatee. Kind of like a pudgy Satan.

[brotherben]

Over the years I have worn the ZZTop beard, the goatee, the bigass cowboy stache with fly(Quigley style) the fumanchu 3 inches below the chin and the well trimmed beard. I had compliments on all the looks. I think a lot of it is in the attitude of the wearer. If you act like a douche, it don't matter how you rock the facial hair. You're still gonna be a douche.

(oh, the whole "pudgy Satan" thing gives me a semi)

[EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy]

I swear goatees and van dykes are the only beards I can grow well, and they make me look simultaneously ax-murderer scary and like a pretentious OCD pansy.

I'm sticking with the clean-cut look.

[Chubby Chaser]

My older brother is about six three with black hair brown skin and brown eyes. He epitomizes the big mean cowboy. And he actually is just that. He has the temper and the disposition of a grizzle bear. He pulls off the go tee quite well. Only one I know who does.

[SugarFree]

The man and the beard have to strike a balance. The guy picture in the article isn't wearing a beard, the beard is wearing him.

[John]

The dude in the picture is a dirty hippie. Dagny is just confused. It is not the beard she is finding attractive. It is the guitar he is holding. The instrument's magic power over women is causing Dagney find an otherwise repulsive hippie to be attractive.

[Bingo]

Damn Dagny, beard's been back for a while. As you can see from this diagram, we are past beard and into the "ironic mustache" stage:

http://www.adayinthalifeof.com...../a1xBE.jpg

[Atanarjuat]

Beards make you look like a nice guy? I look fucking scary with a beard. Last time I was arrested I had a full beard.

[Atanarjuat]

Yuck. Put me staunchly anti-beard club. All I can picture is the blehy kiss I'll get after his face has been coated by my lady juices, and it's all tangled up in beard. Ugnnnnnnh.

[Warty]

A nice, normal, unstyled beard, though, says, "in the time I saved not shaving, I wrote you this song about an old schoolhouse." You know: nice.

In unrelated news, I have a full beard and a shaved head these days. I look terrifying.

[Jordan Elliot]

You should rock a skullet like Devon Townsend's old one.

[Warty]

Did he get rid of the skullet? If he did, that's a tragedy.

His greatest achievement

[Jordan Elliot]

Yeah he ditched it awhile back. He's been clean shaven since I think last year and perhaps before then.

"City" is one of the best albums that I've ever heard. Unrelenting.

My favorite Devin song and one of my favorite songs of all time.

[Smarmy Marmot]

It's about control.

[SugarFree]

It comforts me thinking that you look like muscle-bound Rasputin. May you keep your lovebone and prove just as difficult to kill, my friend.

[Nipplemancer]

you should go full-on Kerry King and get a head tat.

[Jordan Elliot]

Fuck that. If we're talking head tats, Bam Bam Bigelow sets the standard.

[Gina Wilshaw]

I wish the US would start worrying about its own problems for a change.

lou
http://www.anon-surfing.at.tc

[Fluffy]

Beards make you look like a filthy hippie. Or like a perpetual post-grad.

Damn dirty hippies.

[Fluffy]

Somebody close the damn bold tag.

Oh wait maybe I can.

[Fluffy]

Filthy beard-wearing hippies and their open bold tags. Get off my lawn.

[John]

http://www.nationalenquirer.co.....rity/68913

I can forgive Al Gore for hitting on the masseuse. But I can't see how anyone can forgive him for hitting on that masseuse. Get help Al.

[dbcooper]

Can't be accessed from the UK. Hmm ...

[SugarFree]

Consider yourself lucky.

[brotherben]

I gotta give credit to Spitzer. At least he was committing adultery with a woman that didn't have snausages for fingers.

[Fluffy]

That's why I don't think this happened.

Granted, Gore likes chubby chicks. His marriage establishes that.

But even knowing that, there have to be LOTS of chubby college girls who belong to PIRG groups and collect petition signatures for Greenpeace who would let Al kick their feet out from under them. Have to be.

OK, so we also know that Bill Clinton hit on some really questionable-looking women, but he had an obvious glandular disorder and was from Arkansas. He'd probably screw a chimp if it was legal. So he's an exception and we can't go by his history. We have to go by HUMAN history, which says that Al would have been out there hitting on good-looking chicks - and succeeding. So this makes no sense.

Then again, we also have to consider the John Edwards incident...

Damn you, Democrat politicians!!!!! Why can't your adulteries stick to a comprehensible pattern?

[John]

Never underestimate the ability of men to have no standards. Hugh Grant was banging Elizabeth Hurley but still found the need to pick up a TV hooker in an LA Park. Jessee James was banging Sandra Bullock but still couldn't resist a porn star. Some men truly don't care what a woman looks like. They are real feministing heroes like that.

[brotherben]

Good point John. Bill was Bangin Hillary and went after Monica. I just don't get that. Of course, I have dreams about a Janet Reno, Margaret Thatcher, Rosie O'Donnell 3 way.

[John]

Bill could have and probably did bang any dumb little leftist newsbabe you can name on the Washington beat in the 1990s. Hell, he did a former Miss America Elizabeth Ward Gracen. Yet, he still found the time for Monica. Fluffy is right, the guy would screw a chimpanzee if it were legal and not frowned upon.

[NeonCat]

I just threw up in my mouth a little, and feel terribly, terribly unclean.

[Nick]

I'm eating my lunch here, you asshole.

[SugarFree]

Then I guess it's not the time to mention I once took a three pound shit right in Rosanne Barr's cunt.

[brotherben]

Like that made a difference.

or this: You shit on Tom Arnold?

[SugarFree]

I'll shit on, in or near any Arnold you bring me!

[Pappy Smear]

"He'd probably screw a chimp if it was legal"

If the president does it, it's not illegal.

[Slut Bunwalla]

+infinity (I don't know how to make the infity symbol)

[Mike M.]

Oof! As much as I would love to believe that wooden Al is secretly a perverted, crazed sex poodle, looking at her only makes me believe her story even less.

If she is really telling the truth though, she's the strongest piece of evidence yet that the 2000 election drove him completely insane.

[brotherben]

As much as I would love to believe that wooden Al is secretly a perverted, crazed sex poodle,

I think of Mr. Gore in many ways but never ever do I fantasize about him like you. You are one seriously odd duck.

[P Brooks]

Women who don't like beards are only sexually attracted to little boys.

I see what you did there.

[Michael]

Auditor general: Illinois provides child care in sex offenders' homes

[Warty]

Already people are spontaneously forming local defence squads and hand-grenades are probably being manufactured by amateurs. The higher-ups are no doubt thoroughly frightened by these tendencies.

[Bingo]

The 24 Types of libertarians

I guess its nice to be attacked by the left after being irrelevant and never winning an election 🙂

[Warty]

Anyone up for Bingo?

[Jordan Elliot]

Only if we get to tip Dagny.

[SugarFree]

+$5

[SugarFree]

Whereas there is only one kind of liberal: The Idiot.

[NeonCat]

You don't think there are Machiavellian power seeker liberals? They just sound like idiots?

[SugarFree]

Oh, I think people are progressives for all sort of reasons... on the surface. Pick at any scab and you'll find a person that doesn't understand the simple truth that everyone has the right to live how they want if that doesn't interfere with other people enjoyment of the same. AKA, an idiot.

[brotherben]

I think you'll find passive aggressive personalities more than any other. It's a control thing. The poor ones can't admit that they are poor mostly from bad choices and the wealthy ones use this weakness to lead them around.

[Bingo]

Technocrats
Hippies
Idiots
Do-gooders

With plenty of crossover between the groups.

[GoNavy]

Technocrats
Hippies
Idiots (includes ex-GF's 20 yo daughter that voted for Obama becuase he was "exciting." She is, besides being hot, always wondering why her endless stream of lead vocal or guitar player boyfriends are always cheating on her.
Do-gooders

[Citizen Nothing]

I assume someone above has already linked to "Larry King"'s Onion column.
But in case not.