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Denial of the Day

Jesse Walker | 5.19.2010 4:55 PM

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The British Royal Navy "does not maintain any form of central repository of information purely devoted to sea monsters."

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NEXT: Because the Key to Wireless Competition is More Bureaucracy

Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. Steve   15 years ago

    Thank You for posting this! I really like your blog - keep up the great work!!

    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

  2. Steve   15 years ago

    Thank You for posting this! I really like your blog - keep up the great work!!

    Common Cents
    http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com

  3. Death Panelist   15 years ago

    Glitch in the matrix.

  4. J sub D   15 years ago

    It's a subset of the space alien data repository.

    1. Marc   15 years ago

      Rats, I was about to say something functionally equivalent.

  5. Admiral Akbar   15 years ago

    It's a trap!!!

    1. Mon Mothma   15 years ago

      Did you convert to Islam, Admiral?

      1. Admiral Akbar   15 years ago

        Muhhammed is my prophet, PBUH!

        *I may have also forgotten to look up the spelling, but now I have a handle, so...

        1. heller   15 years ago

          It's a trap!

          Seriously it is a trap; they'll probably close this thread since Mohammed was mentioned.

  6. Lost_In_Translation   15 years ago

    Of course they don't. That's Captain Nemo's job.

  7. The Other Kevin   15 years ago

    In the US, however, DHS does have a central Sea Monster Repository that was created under the Patriot Act. None of our liberal friends seem to have any problem with THAT, either.

    1. John   15 years ago

      It is a part of the US IDENT system. By 2015, congress requires all sea monsters to have biometric identification cards before entering US waters.

      1. J sub D   15 years ago

        You don't want Mexican sea monsters coming here and taking jobs away from American sea monsters, do you?

        Illegal sea monsters will work on a Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea set for longer hours and at half the pay of a patriotic taxpaying native born sea monster. Plus they send their sea spawn to public aquariums to get educated at taxpayer expense.

        1. MNG   15 years ago

          well done J sub, lol

        2. Brett L   15 years ago

          It all started with the Chupacabras.

  8. The Prophet Mohammed   15 years ago

    Many of the fuqaha speak of mermaids, and all dead creatures from the sea are halaal. Do I have to spell it out?

    FA'AP

    1. heller   15 years ago

      FAP?

  9. fresno dan   15 years ago

    Deconstruction:
    The British Royal Navy
    There is no British Royal Navy - its her majesty's Roay Navy

    "does not maintain"
    No, rather they receive reports, copy, collate, analyse, etcetera, but do not "maintain"

    "any form"
    They only have 3 forms

    "of central repository"
    It is a dispersed repository lest valuable Cracken eggs be destroyed

    "of information purely devoted"
    It is not pure, as it contains a collection of dirty limmericks

    "to sea monsters."
    It is not "sea monsters" but differentially anabolized ocean dwelling creatures that can crush London in one toe print.

    Honestly, if you guys don't apply some critial thinking you will never get to the truth.

    1. Angry Bear   15 years ago

      Somebody remembered to pack his secret decoder ring.

      1. MI5   15 years ago

        He won't need it for long...

      2. mr simple   15 years ago

        It didn't help him translate Kraken correctly.

    2. db   15 years ago

      "does not maintain any form of central repository of information purely devoted to sea monsters."

      Just like the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania does not "maintain" a registry of firearms purchased in the state. It simply adds new records to the registry that was established prior to the law that made it illegal for the Commonwealth to "maintain" such a registry.

  10. Angry Bear   15 years ago

    YOU LIE!

  11. Fist of Etiquette   15 years ago

    Clegg is honouring Godzilla's right to privacy.

  12. P Brooks   15 years ago

    They wouldn't bother to deny it if it wasn't true!!

  13. Nick Donaldson   15 years ago

    Why not? What are they trying to hide, hm?

  14. EJM   15 years ago

    The British Royal Navy "does not maintain any form of central repository of information purely devoted to sea monsters."

    "However, as far as Sea Devils are concerned--well, that's a different story."

  15. Vice Adm. Sir John Cunningham   15 years ago

    and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than we are prepared to admit, but all new ratings are warned that if they wake up in the morning and find any toothmarks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to tell me immediately so that I can immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up. And, finally, necrophilia is right out. (the interviewer keeps nodding but looks embarrassed) Now, this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of cannibalism and necrophilia in... this expedition is primarily to investigate reports of unusual marine life in the as yet uncharted Lake Pahoe.

    1. David Pinto   15 years ago

      I believe the RAF now suffers the most casualties in this area. 🙂

  16. lunchstealer   15 years ago

    Didn't Brody's Law require all convicted sea monsters to register their address with local law enforcement, who would post that so that citizens could be aware that they have a potential aquatic predator living in their neighborhoods?

    Some states even require all predators to live more than 1000 feet from places where children may congregate, such as public beaches, public pools, and Weeki Wachee.

  17. Somali Pirate   15 years ago

    Whew! One less thing to worry about.

  18. Todd Fletcher   15 years ago

    There is also absolutely no cannibalism or necrophilia in the new British Navy.

    1. lunchstealer   15 years ago

      It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs?

  19. Max   15 years ago

    Here's another denial:

    Jesse walker denies that he's running out of ideas for posts.

    1. heller   15 years ago

      Here's another denial:

      Max denies that absolutely no one gives a flying fuck about what he has to say.

      1. wylie   15 years ago

        Because the post certainly couldn't be appropriate today, to bring a lil levity to what is otherwise shaping up as a religious war.

  20. Ron L   15 years ago

    "And you can't disprove it!"
    Keith what's-his-name

  21. JIm Dean   15 years ago

    Wow, I would have to agree. SOme serious denial indeed. Wow.

    Lou
    http://www.web-anonymity.cz.tc

  22. Tim   15 years ago

    Obama's refusal to produce his birth certificate ties right into this, I think.

    1. AlmightyJB   15 years ago

      I really don't know why I'm responding to this but Obama did produce his Birth Certificate. A copy of it was available for all to see on newssites. For those that say that a "Certification of Live Birth" is not the same as an "official" birth certificate but something else, it is identical my wife's Birth Certificate who was also born in Hawaii.

      http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/born_in_the_usa.html

      http://latimesblogs.latimes.co.....birth.html

  23. reason   15 years ago

    The reason magazine staff "does not maintain any form of policy purely devoted to deleting comments that might offend Muslims."

  24. Kraken   15 years ago

    You'll never get me Bitches!

  25. Douglas Fletcher   15 years ago

    The only sea monster I encountered when sailing for God & Country was known as "Captain." Major asshole.

  26. Mike Gogulski   15 years ago

    We are hiding nothing, comrades! *chortle*

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