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Will Tiger Master His Old Domain?

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As the Masters approacheth, Ron Hart believes in Tiger Woods' next act:

Tiger will get past all of this. No one has been better over the years at getting his balls out of hazards than Tiger. He was always been a good iron player; he just needs to learn to control his wood.

Whether he will ever command the moral high ground it takes to hawk Gillette razors, Gatorade, Buicks or AT&T to gullible consumers remains to be seen.

For now, those Americans who predicate purchases on which sports figure is the spokesman for which product will remain directionless. Somehow they believed that Tiger would really drive a Buick or that he would risk missing a booty call due to spotty AT&T service. But the truth is, they really are clueless to begin with if they base purchase decisions on Tiger Woods' endorsement instead of evaluating the quality of a product against its alternatives. Those folks remain Madison Avenue's lawful prey.

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  1. But the truth is, they really are clueless to begin with if they base purchase decisions on Tiger Woods’ endorsement instead of evaluating the quality of a product against its alternatives.

    I’m not sure Mr. Hart really understands how advertising works. The idea is to build brand awareness. Few people are going to buy a Buick strictly because Woods endorses them, but Woods’ endorsement does help to keep Buick as a brand in the minds of people shopping for a car. Hell, a few years ago I didn’t even know they still made Buicks.

    1. Speaking of a stopped clock…

  2. I never thought a celebrity endorsement convinced me to buy a product but I know of times that it made me choose another

  3. Tiger will get past all of this. No one has been better over the years at getting his balls out of hazards than Tiger. He was always been a good iron player; he just needs to learn to control his wood.

    Classic.

  4. Vanity Fair

    Another time, he insisted on meeting her right before a big golf tourney in 2007. “He wanted that last piece of booty before he could go to his tournament. To make him shoot better,” she said.

    They met in a parking lot. She said she told him she was having her period and asked if they could avoid intercourse. But Tiger would not be denied, Lawton said. She said they started going at it next to the golfer’s Cadillac SUV. “He told me to pull my underwear down and pull out my tampon, and we went at it with me pressed up against his Escalade,” she said. “He did it from the back.”

    After they left, Lawton claims, reporters from The National Enquirer, who had been following her, picked up the tampon she had dropped in the parking lot, and later threatened to use it as part of a story exposing Woods’s infidelity. When the tabloid contacted one of Lawton’s relatives, Lawton texted Tiger in a panic, and he put her in touch with Mark Steinberg. “That’s when their brush-under-the-rug, the cover-up, happened,” Lawton says, referring to a deal that the Enquirer allegedly made with Tiger’s handlers to hold the adultery story in exchange for Woods’s giving an exclusive interview to its sister publication Men’s Fitness. (A spokesperson for The National Enquirer denies that the paper held the Lawton story in exchange for an exclusive on Tiger.)

      1. CN, one thing to think it but another to say it.

        1. It’s not so bad.

          1. is like the good housekeeping seal of debauchery

    1. reporters from The National Enquirer..picked up the tampon she had dropped in the parking lot…
      That’s why a good reporter always carries ice tongs.

      1. check

        1. Reference Foul

          Nancy Drew was a budding detective, not reporter. The era-appropriate reference for a young female reporter would be Brenda Starr.

          10 yard penalty.

          1. I’m more of a ND gal

      2. I can just imagine the conversation:

        Reporter: Jesus, we gotta pick that up and take it back to the office.

        Photographer: YOU fuckin’ pick it up. I’m not touching the fuckin’ thing.

        R: Don’t you have something in your camera bag to scoop it up with?

        P: Scoop it up? Whadda I look like, the fuckin’ soda jerk at the fuckin’ Baskin Robbins? What, you want me to scoop it up with a fuckin’ $4,000 300 mm lens? You’re the one who wants it, you fuckin’ scoop it up.

        R: All I got is a notebook.

        P: There’s paper in the fuckin’ notebook, right?

        R: But that fuckin’ thing is DRIPPING.

        P: So use two sheets.

        1. Yet another occasion where the NE photographer wondered what he needed his “journalist” cohort for anymore.

    2. I once parked in someone else’s spot while I ran into a friend of mine’s apartment to buy some drugs or something. When I came out, I found a bloody used tampon sitting on my windshield. SCORE

      1. My point exactly;-)

    3. It’s that kind of consideration and thoughtfulness that makes him so popular with the ladies.

  5. Who gives a fuck?

    1. Nobody with a brain.

      1. like you wouldn’t watch;-)

    2. …says the commenters to a blog post about a story about Tiger Woods.

    3. Giving a fuck beats taking a fuck.

  6. I don’t know if you’re supposed to buy it because SPORTS FIGURE did an ad for it. I think you’re mostly just supposed to pay attention because you like SPORTS FIGURE, and maybe subconsciously you lean towards the PRODUCT because SPORTS FIGURE is now associated with it.

    As far as Buick goes, well, when your cool hip spokesman is a golfer, you know the quest for market share among the non-geriatric is futile.

    1. But it has done wonders in the Asian market.

  7. As far as Buick goes, well, when your cool hip spokesman is a golfer, you know the quest for market share among the non-geriatric is futile.

    Fixed.

  8. I’m starting to think a lot of sex terms are actually just innuendo for golf.

  9. Ron Hart is at the top of his game:

    The members at Augusta National Golf Club have been nothing but supportive of Tiger over the years; they even installed his own drinking fountain for him last year.

    1. That’s the top? Hate to see the bottom.

  10. I’d give weight to Tiger Woods’s endorsements on things where he has expertise – such as golf balls or golf clubs. Other than that, his endorsement carries no more weight to me than a random person’s.

    1. add condoms to my list

  11. Never trust a man with a hairless chest.

  12. Never trust a man

  13. As Hart said in a CNN interview when asked what Tiger has learned here:

    “Turns out you cannot trust strippers and porn stars as confidants/…who knew?”

  14. Tiger Woods may have burnt his bridges as far as his value as an advertisers dream goes. Will people trust his judgement now?

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