First They Came for My Soda, Now They are Coming for My Pizza!

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no pizza image

Reuters, citing new research published in the journal Archives of Internal Medicine, reports:

U.S. researchers estimate that an 18 percent tax on pizza and soda can push down U.S. adults' calorie intake enough to lower their average weight by 5 pounds (2 kg) per year…

"While such policies will not solve the obesity epidemic in its entirety and may face considerable opposition from food manufacturers and sellers, they could prove an important strategy to address overconsumption, help reduce energy intake and potentially aid in weight loss and reduced rates of diabetes among U.S. adults," wrote the team led by Kiyah Duffey of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill…

Duffey's team analyzed the diets and health of 5,115 young adults aged age 18 to 30 from 1985 to 2006.

  They compared data on food prices during the same time. Over a 20-year period, a 10 percent increase in cost was linked with a 7 percent decrease in the amount of calories consumed from soda and a 12 percent decrease in calories consumed from pizza.

The team estimates that an 18 percent tax on these foods could cut daily intake by 56 calories per person, resulting in a weight loss of 5 pounds (2 kg) per person per year.

"Our findings suggest that national, state or local policies to alter the price of less healthful foods and beverages may be one possible mechanism for steering U.S. adults toward a more healthful diet," Duffey and colleagues wrote.

In a commentary, Drs. Mitchell Katz and Rajiv Bhatia of the San Francisco Department of Public Health said taxes are an appropriate way to correct a market that favors unhealthy food choices over healthier options.

They argued that the U.S. government should carefully consider food subsidies that contribute to the problem.

"Sadly, we are currently subsidizing the wrong things including the product of corn, which makes the corn syrup in sweetened beverages so inexpensive," they wrote.

Instead, they argued that agricultural subsidies should be used to make healthful foods such as locally grown vegetables, fruits and whole grains less expensive.

How about we get rid of both subsidies and taxes and let people eat what they want? That's how real markets work.

For more on "The War on Fat" take a look at my colleague Jacob Sullum's excellent article on the topic.

Via American Council on Science and Health.

Disclosure: I am quite fond of Hawaiian pizza.

NEXT: Open Thread: Is Your Town Pro-Business? Anti-Business? Let Us Count The Ways

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  1. Too bad scientists, such as the authors of this study, don’t have a clue of the economic concept of “substitution”.

    1. Thanks for making this point so quickly.

      Saves a lot of reading…

  2. I am quite fond on (sic) Hawaiian pizza.

    Oh Ron. First you are getting thanked for your support of HCR, and you don’t properly alt-text your pictures, and now this. What happened to you? Did Welch beat you too hard at the last staff meeting?

    1. Doesn’t Ron also believe in AGW and the need to change human behavior / economic activity in order to mitigate the potential catastrophes?

      1. I think he is back to unsure on that count.

  3. Keep your laws off my pizza-bloated body!

  4. This is the shit that revolutions arise from. Don’t touch my fucking pizza!

    1. Don’t touch my fucking pizza!

      Also “quite fond on” pizza, eh?

      1. Is that the inverse of “to hate on pizza”?

  5. How about we get rid of both subsidies and taxes and let people eat what they want? That’s how real markets work.

    If your hobby horse is GMO crops, you don’t get to lecture anyone on free markets.

    1. If your hobby horse is GMO crops, you don’t get to lecture anyone on free markets.

      Are you claiming that GMO crops can’t exist in free markets?

      1. They might be able to, but there’s almost nothing about actually-existing GMO which is free-market.

    2. JP: Whatever could you be talking about? All I want is for farmers and consumers to be allowed to sell and buy what they want without the interference of unscientific regulations.

      1. Sure, sure. GMO crops have nothing to do with state-backed and state-coddled agribusiness. They have nothing to do with the marriage of agribusiness and authoritarian governments, which are still throwing people off their ancestral lands for monoculture farming. Why, I’m sure the massive subsidies to corn and soy – mentioned in the article no less – have nothing to do with your gleeful GMO planting charts.

        Seriously, you’re a shill for the most state-dependent, state-backed, illiberal kind of agriculture anywhere, and then you have the nerve to complain about soda taxes? I understand they bought your soul, but did they pay for your brain, too?

        1. STFU hippie.

          When GMO crops are banned, you can be the first to starve.

        2. You sound like one of liberal douches who complain about libertarians using roads. “How dare you use a service essential to modern life that’s been monopolized by the government.”

          1. Really? I sound like a liberal douche because I’m using a libertarian argument against a shill for crony capitalism?

            1. Note to hippy douche:

              being for something that also happens to be provided by the government is not the same as being for the government.

              Otherwise you have to be against mail, healthcare, self-defense, money, and food…. which, in fact, you are.

              Idiot.

  6. Episiarch: Damned pesky prepositions! So easy to overlook. Fixed.

    1. It wasn’t just the preposition, Ron. HAWAIIAN PIZZA IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL.

      It’s not pizza; it’s a luau with cheese.

      1. Rigid and exclusionary thinking. Are you sure you’re not a Republican?

        1. I’m sure I’m not fat. UNLIKE YOU.

          Besides, I like sodomy way too much to be a Republican.

          1. [cough] Larry Craig [cough]

            1. I’m SO not surprised that when you hear “sodomy”, you immediately think gay thoughts. NTTAWWT.

              1. What comes to mind when you hear “buggery”?

                  1. The correct answer is “The Buggery Act of 1533”, but your answer is also acceptable.

              2. Epi,

                It is still gay even if the other guy is wearing skirt and heels.

                1. “You’re not one of those silly men just dressed like a woman are you?”

          2. [cough] Mark Foley [cough]

          3. And no, the dodge of pretending it’s Johnny Depp doesn’t make it not gay. Again, NTTAWWT.

      2. Yes it is. Hawaiian Pizza and unAmerican and anyone who eats is immediately suspect.

        1. Pineapples on pizza is the mark of a commie bastard 🙂

          1. The pizza hut in London will put sweet corn on your pizza if you like. Apparently it is popular with the English.

            1. “Apparently its popular with the English” says all you need to know if the subject is food or dental care.

              1. I’ve had great Indian and Spanish food in the London area. I’ve even had some decent pub food too. But yeah, in general, stay out of an English restaraunt if it isn’t staffed by people that speak English as a second language.

            2. Japanese like corn on pizza too. And cuttlefish.

              1. The Japanese get a special sanity exemption when it comes to things culinary. As do the Scots.

                1. Did you know that, in fact, nearly all Scottish cuisine is based on a dare?

                  Not sure about Japanese cuisine, though.

                  1. A great joke. And likely true.

                  2. Japanese cuisine is based on consumption of large amounts of seafood in an industrial society that puts mercury into the oceans.

                2. Exemption granted only because you can also buy beer and whiskey from vending machines on the street.

                  That helps a prairie-born boy from the midwest get through a dinner of scary sea things.

            3. I thought “corn” was wheat in the UK.

        2. In fact, Hawaii is unamerican and we should give it back to whoever had it before.

  7. “Sadly, we are currently subsidizing the wrong things including the product of corn, which makes the corn syrup in sweetened beverages so inexpensive,” they wrote.

    Buit not a word about sugar tariffs.

    The government guarantees producers a fixed price for domestic sugar and sets strict quotas and tariffs for foreign sugar. Economically speaking, this has many obvious bad results. It keeps sugar prices in the U.S. at least twice as high as the world average.

    Single issue obsessives rarely look at the whole picture.

    1. Even at twice the price it’s steel mighty damn cheap.

  8. I’ll again observe that, if the gov’t *must* try forcing health via taxation, it is more efficient to tax people directly in accordance with the results of a yearly medical evaluation.

    Slogan suggestion: “If you weigh, you pay.”

  9. W…… T…… F……

    Posts like these and this make we wonder how far the nannying must go before the new masters will be content with their achievements.

    Unbelievable.

    1. “The first lady’s leadership transcends the public policy debate over the obesity issue”

      As her husband’s leadership transcends the debate over the health-care issue.

      1. “First lady Michelle Obama had tough words for grocery manufacturers Tuesday, telling them to “step it up” in their efforts to provide healthier foods to children and curb obesity.”

        Shut the fuck up, bitch.

        1. When, oh, when will these stores add produce departments?

        2. How dare those food companies force parents to buy junk food and feed it to their kids!!

    2. I’ve got one even better than that.

      1. That’s just frightening. It’s like we’re living in one big nightmarish Onion article.

        1. Meh…at least he’s not first lady right now.

    3. I’m pretty sure we’ll finally get off our lazy asses and murder the fuck out of all of them before that ever happens.

    4. They’ll never be content.

      They’re perverts who get their jollies on running other people’s lives.

      Roman Polanski could only anally rape one girl at a time. These nanny-perverts screw up everybody’s life at the same time.

  10. I do believe I’d revolt if they took away my right to pizza. Even using Episiarch’s epically wrong definition of pizza. For this cause, all pizza battles must end, temporarily. Once “pizza” has been protected, then we’ll turn on each other like rabid dogs.

    1. Fuck you and the deep dish pan your “pizza” rode in on, ProL. I’ll never join forces with you to protect your mutant abomination that you call “pizza”.

      Also, I’m your father.

      1. My father would never turn to the Thin Side! Never!

        1. Strike me down, ProL. Feel the hate flow through you. The hate for garbage pizza.

          1. I note for the audience that Episiarch has equated his New York-style cardboard pizza with the Dark Side of the Force. Draw your own conclusions.

            1. Who is cooler: Luke “whiny ass bitch who used to shoot wamp rats in his T-16” Skywalker, or Darth “your lack of faith disturbs me” Vader?

              Draw your own conclusions. Also, even Vader took orders from Peter Cushing.

              1. Vader isn’t that cool. He spent three movies acting like a whiney bitch over that Panda Bear chick or whatever the hell her name was.

                1. Like you would kick her out of the sack John.

                  1. That’s a different issue for John than whether he’d slaughter children, blow up planets, and generally turn to dark, dark evil because of a dream he had about her maybe dying.

                    1. Well, since you put it that way…

                  2. Yeah, Natalie Portman is hot enough to make many a man emo.

                    1. And it is not like she is the only piece of ass in the universe. Jesus, I would think if I were running around being proclaimed the chosen one of the universe’s most powerful religion, I could manage to find someone’s shoulder to cry on.

                  3. I wouldn’t kick her out of the sack. But I wouldn’t spend three movies whining about her either.

                2. That was Anakin, not Vader, you tool. There is a difference.

                  1. Anakin was a whiny, little bitch and now he overcompensates as Vader. GOD, what a dick.

                  2. Just like Senator Lieberm… I mean Palpatine isn’t the same as Darth Sidious/Emporer Palpatine?

                  3. That was Anakin, not Vader, you tool. There is a difference.

                    Actually, Palpatine named him as Darth Vader right after the Mace Windu showdown, prior to his Youngling spree.

                3. John, like you didn’t jack-off thinking about her cute little buns.

              2. I saw the last three movies. . .Loooosssser.

                Luke is cool as it gets. Nailed his sister, saves the universe, blows up giant moons that aren’t moons but space stations. And he kicked his dad’s ass.

                1. That’s because Aunt Owen and Aunt Beru raised Luke to keep his gangsta foot strong.

                    1. Crap, I thought it was Episode 3.5: Luke Has Two Mommies

                      That would be SO the awesome.

                    2. You were more correct the first time.

                2. What’s not to like?

                3. Nailed his sister? Pl, that only happened in your mind. You know, exactly like how you think you got ‘nailed’ in high school.

                  1. We take our Star Wars a might seriously don’t we? Anyway, it all happened off stage, you poor, n?ive fool.

                    1. n?ive fool?
                      Pro Libertate|3.8.10 @ 11:28AM|#
                      Are you a god?

              3. Peter Cushing is on record preferring real pizza to your crap. It says so right here, in his biography. See? [Points to page]

                1. Oh, and in case you doubt me, it’s page 378 of his autobiography, More Cushing for the Pushing.

                  1. I didn’t realize Peter Cushing wrote lyrics for Spinal Tap.

                    1. Nice, though I’ll note that the band didn’t invent that saying. They just took it to its greatest metallic heights.

                    2. I know the saying is old, ProL. The thought of Peter Cushing writing Spinal tap lyrics just amused me. Perhaps he was responsible for this gem:

                      Big bottom, big bottom
                      Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em

                      Immortal poetry, ProL.

                    3. The bigger the Cushing, the sweeter the pushing,
                      That’s what I said.

                      The larger the erection, the deeper the plungin’,
                      Or so I have read.

                      And so on.

                    4. Oops, that didn’t scan right. You get the idea, though.

              4. None of the bratty Skywalker males, Ben “who is the greater fool? the fool, or the one who follows him?”

  11. U.S. researchers estimate that an 18 percent tax on pizza and soda can push down U.S. adults’ calorie intake…

    Am I the only one disappointed that these researchers-slash-policy advisors fail to suggest the obvious? Pizza Prohibition can save the plant and keep Obamacare deficit-neutral.

    1. My understanding is that in the view of nutritionalists, pizza is a very healthy food choice. That it is unhealthy is just an urban legend. Like global warming.

      1. one slice is healthy, the next six or seven, not so much.

        1. Nip it in the bud. That’s the hallmark of good regulatory governing.

        2. Clearly, the solution is to mandate high FiberOne content in pizza cheese to make sure we’re too full from one slice to overeat. They’ll need subsidies to cover the added cost of course.

      2. The nutritionists are full of shit. Pizza is white flour and trans fat in the crust, topped with cheese and sugary sauce and fatty meat. It’s all fat and starch and sugar. That’s why it tastes so fucking good.

  12. Usually Sin Tax advocates insist the revenue be spend on measures to eliminate the item taxed. These folks don’t even attempt to do that.

    I think they plan to spend the revenue on pizza.

  13. Also, that 56 calorie/day number has two problems:

    1.) It’s insignificant. 56 calories is nothing. The daily human adult calorie intake is around 2000, so that’s only a 2.8% decrease, and even added up over the course of the year, 5lbs isn’t much either. A persons weight can fluctuate more than that over a week.

    2.) This assumes that people wont’ divert the money they’d spend on pizza to other high-calorie foods (fast food, microwave burritos, etc…) Pizza is a convenience food more than anything, because it’s one of the few things that almost everyone can order over the phone and have delivered, no matter where you are, not because it’s price-competitive with fucking arugula.

    1. More importantly, this is not actually how weight gain/loss works. People do not get to be obese by eating an extra cookie’s worth of calories every day over years and years. The human body is able to adjust its metabolism around the set point to account for these small variations, and increases in weight result in increases in expenditure to carry the weight, leading to a plateau effect. Specifically, with the 50 or so calories discussed here, the weight gain levels off INDEFINITELY at about six pounds. Not exactly lifechanging.

      See JAMA. 2010;303(1):65-66

      1. To clarify, people who decrease their daily calorie intake by 50-60 calories would probably lose 5-6 pounds over a year, and then would stop losing. To say they would lower their average weight by 5-6 pounds PER YEAR is the deceptive aspect.

        1. But, wouldn’t it be awesome if they implemented this and, in twenty years people just started disappearing. Pfft! Another one bites the dust.

        2. So you’re saying that this wouldn’t cause me to weigh 60 lbs. in 20 years?

  14. “U.S. researchers estimate that an 18 percent tax on pizza and soda can push down U.S. adults’ calorie intake enough to lower their average weight by 5 pounds (2 kg) per year.”

    You know who else implimented plans focused on reducing people’s caloric intake against their will?

    1. +1 for Godwinning the thread so quickly =)

      1. Let’s forget all about it. History just complicates things.

    2. Michael Schiavo?

      1. Nice.

      2. Terri Schiavo had no will of her own.

        1. I knew the dangers of posting that joke yet I did it anyway. I’m bold that way.

      3. My baloney has a first name,

        It’s T-O-M-M-Y…

    3. At 5 pounds (2kg) per year, I’ll be down to 100 pounds in . . . slightly fewer than 30 years. And I bet I’ll feel great!

    4. Oh, please. The Nazis knew jackshit about pizza.

      The Fascists, on the other hand, did.

      1. At least they delivered the pizzas on time.

        1. The Nazis or the Fascists?

  15. This is exactly what we need in a recession. Tax the shit out of pizza so that people stop eating it and a bunch of pizza parlors go under.

    1. But all the tax revenue we raise can be used to create green jobs.

      1. Green jobs? Hippie pizza sucks. Ground raw almonds and tofu shards are not pizza.

        1. I like Mellow Mushroom’s Kosmic Karma, which seems hippie-like until you realize it’s just tomatoes (fresh and sun-dried), spinach, feta, and pesto, which, if hippie, is Italian hippie.

          1. We’ve got a Mellow Mushroom. It’s not too bad. I don’t think the whole wheat crust develops gluten great, but the topping are usually fresh. And they know how to finish cooking a damn pizza, which is a relief around here.

            But I don’t go there much because is always full of hippies parents and their non-deodorized kids with their inhalers and peanut allergies.

            1. It’s not bad. Too pricey, and the kids all look like people who shouldn’t be allowed near food.

              1. But I’ve had much worse, certainly.

            2. Mellow Mushrooms are great. We had one in Charlottesville and Atlanta. I miss them greatly.

              1. Ha ha, peanut allergies! Fucking lame! No offense to anyone with peanut allergies.

                1. I have food allergies too, but it seems damn close to being a fad with the food co-op crowd.

                  I can remember the source, but I think 25% of parents of children under 12 think their kids have a nut allergy of some type, but children under 12 only test out at 4% having a nut allergy.

                2. You wouldn’t think like that if you had it, (b)Art. Now report to detention!

            3. I can only laugh that you chumps will settle for this type of garbage because you can’t get real pizza.

              HA HA H…OH SHIT I’M IN SEATTLE NOW

              1. Yeah organic free range salmon and hemp seed doesn’t exactly sound appetizing.

                1. +1 for free range salmon

                2. You don’t like Salmon?

                  1. I love Salmon. Just not on Pizza.

              2. I assumed, because you are Italian, that you owned your own pizza parlor, Epi.

                1. My wife is Italian. She loves to watch Ramsey’s kitchen nightmares. Every episode is a failing restaurant owned by a quarrelsome Italian family. That is high drama for Italians.

                2. You are nothing but a racist who gets his ideas from Spike Lee movies.

                3. That was addressed to Art, but I suppose it applies to John as well.

              3. They have pizza in Seattle?

                1. Fuck! What the hell good are these nested, threaded abominations, anyhow? Who is talking to whom? Egad.

                2. Yes, but they throw it at you.

                  1. It’s strange that when you ask people about Seattle, the first thing they say is “That place where they throw fish at you?”

                  2. They throw nested comments at you?

    2. It’s OK. We’re going to tax beer (more), too.

      1. Mr. Duffy, you’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

  16. While such policies will not solve the obesity epidemic in its entirety and may face considerable opposition from food manufacturers and sellers

    Yeah, clearly nobody else will object. Consumers are just zombies shambling from one advertisement to the next.

  17. In a commentary, Drs. Mitchell Katz and Rajiv Bhatia of the San Francisco Department of Public Health said taxes are an appropriate way to correct a market that favors unhealthy food choices over healthier options.

    Hmmm, what device could we use to correct a market that favors meddlesome and oppressive dickweeds in lab coats over rational people?

    1. Hmmm, what device could we use to correct a market that favors meddlesome and oppressive dickweeds in lab coats over rational people?

      This sounds like a job for a taser.

      Let the statists, agriculturists and low-fat propagandists have their bad science and lies. They deserve each other. But subsidies and outright bans are the gun of government in your face and mine, for daring to exercise personal choice. I think high-fat low-carb is the way to go, and that grains, fructose and excess omega-6 are the major poisons in the modern diet, but you don’t see me whining and crying that government should point guns in people’s faces to stop them from eating that shit, or to have children seized from vegan parents in the absence of clear, demonstrable and immediate harm. No, it’s the thugs and their accomplices the sheeple, and that’s where I part company with so many in the low-carb or “real food” movements. Only the paleo crowd, so highly libertarian it seems, is generally immune to the sickness of statism.

      1. Only the paleo crowd, so highly libertarian it seems, is generally immune to the sickness of statism.

        Please tell me this is a joke.

        1. I’m not even sure what that’s supposed to mean.

            1. I’m still not sure what this is in reference to.

              1. “How clear does he have to say it, whitey?”

                1. Stoopid much, bitch?

              2. Ah, I see now. He’s one of those (T)REASON! fellows.

                Still laughable to think that gung-ho military lovers like paleos are not statists.

                1. The words “LOL whatever” have never been more appropriate.

                  1. SugarFree, it seems, is just like Charles Washington: Someone who, the more you try to show where you agree with them, insists on missing the point and behaving like a giant douchebag.

                    1. Paleos and other “strong foreign policy” libertarians, statists or not? Answer the question and maybe a conversation can commence.

                      Links about “ersatz libertarians” aren’t very helpful.

                    2. That’s okay, you can pretend you “won”.

                    3. OK, you’re just a stupid piece of shit. Good on you. You could have just made that point early on and saved us all a whole lot of trouble.

                    4. Do you feel better, little one?

                    5. No, really. You’ve convinced me. But I’ll let you have the last word since it seems so important to you.

                    6. *shrug* If you insist.

                    7. Hello Shit Facktory!

                2. SF,

                  he’s talking about people who subscribe to a paleolithic diet, not the war mongers.

                  1. Oh, *that’s* wtf SF was talking about? That explains the mutual misunderstanding, though he could have avoided it with a few minutes of actual reading the links past the first one that so heartily offended him for whatever personal reasons he has to hate Mr. Nikoley, apparently.

                    1. And since when the fuck were paleoconservatives and paleolibertarians “warmongers”? Apparently in SugarFree Bizarro World…

                    2. OK, I think I get it now.

  18. taxes are an appropriate way to correct a market

    Compulsion over free choice. It’s the Bolshevik Way.
    Get in line, Comrades. No shoving.

  19. I guess it’s pithier, but “epidemic of obesity” is a really strange way to say “bunch of fat folks doing what they do.”

    1. “Pithy” implies intellectual substance, whereas “epidemic” is a purely propagandistic term. Fatness is spreading. The Motherland must take drastic measures. The People’s Emergency Rooms are being inundated by the lazy and obese! Surely an insignificant tax on these filthy parasites is reasonable, Comrade?

      1. Well said Sir. Come quietly to the camp…

        Jello Biafra FTW!

    2. Oh wait, I missed that. These asshats used the “epidemic” metaphor to once again describe a non-communicable condition?

      Public health: FAIL

    3. I guess it’s pithier, but “epidemic of obesity” is a really strange way to say “bunch of fat folks doing what they do.”

      “How’d you get through it Grandpa?”

      “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

  20. I got into an argument with Neu Mexican about statistical arguments for lowering the definition of drunk driving. Once you accept the fact that the state has the “authority” to alter people’s behavior based upon some statistically significant “benefit” to society, we all become slaves.

  21. I drink soda daily, but now they have zero calorie soda, which is all I drink. If I switched from soda to anything but water (which here is pretty awful) I would increase my intake of calories significantly. A tax on soda would push me more toward other “healthy” drinks, all of which have more calories.

    1. Meanwhile, there’ve been proposals to tax bottled water in hope of encouraging more people to drink from the tap.

      1. I suck the tap, but I’m not a sucker. If it doesn’t taste like pool water, I don’t want it. Chlorine means never having to say San Pellegrino.

  22. “Instead, they argued that agricultural subsidies should be used to make healthful foods such as locally grown vegetables, fruits and whole grains less expensive.”

    Locally grown? These people can’t help but regurgitate the talking point of the week when flogging their truth-seeking scientific research.

    1. I’m struggling with the concept of Federal subsidies for locally-grown vegetables. Do they all have to be grown in the White House vegetable garden? Or should we use (Federally subsidized) RFID tags to ensure that no vegetable travels more than 20 miles from wherever it’s grown?

  23. What if the pizza has tuscan kale on it?

    BTW, is there a picture, anywhere, of this woman where she’s not pointing her finger at someone and doesn’t have the perma-scowl?

    1. Her Hustler layout was nice.

      1. too much pink for my taste.

  24. Since I only drink maybe 2 sodas a month, and eat take-out pizza infrequently…meh.

    But I stand in solidarity with my brothers who indulge in sweetened battery acid, and cheesy cardboard discs.

    1. I see you’re using the Episiarch definition of pizza.

      1. No, mine own. Those 15 lb. bombs of leftovers on gooey half-done bread dough they admire so much in the windy city are on my shit list as well.

        Make yr own.

  25. Oh, and neither kale or arugula have any place on a pizza. Now radicchio or broccoli rabe, different story altogether.

    1. I could see kale being OK.

    2. Tomato sauce, cheese, and meat. That’s what belongs on pizza. Radicchio? WTF? How about barbecued goat taint, too? I bet you eat at California Pizza Kitchen.

      1. 1. FYI, Crimini mushrooms, onion, and radicchio on a pizza is the shizznit.

        2. BBQ goat taint would be meat, no?

        3. If I had a choice between a CPK pizza, and a Carl’s Jr. dumpster…..

      2. Anchovies and jalapenos. The rest is optional.

  26. Tax my pizza, I’ll just switch to Calzones

  27. I must once again declare my ecumenical creed:

    “AND LO THE SUGARFREE DID SAY: Hateth not thy neighbor’s pizza, for one day it mightest be thine own. Love all the pizzas, the thick and the thin, the deep and stuffed, the saucey and the dry, the cheesy, the gooey, and nay even the whole wheat crusted. Gather all the pizzas of the land unto to me and I will bless and keep them safe in my belly. AMEN.”

    1. That’s NutraSweet, the Jesus Christ Superstar of pizza. Which makes you all that much more punchable. Do you have a technicolor pizza paddle?

      1. For the last time, I’m going to spank you. No matter how many times you ask.

        1. Missing a “not” there, Mr. William Strunk and E.B. White?

          1. One can only hope.

            1. Yes. “Not.” My “not” was stolen by those goddamn cosmotarians.

              1. What’s your degree in again? “Mistaken Grammar on the Internet”?

                1. Theft can happen to anyone. I’m a victim here, twatnoodle.

                  1. Can argue with a man who can use “twatnoodle” in a sentence.

                    *Oh, now those cosmos stole my not!*

                  2. I’m a victim here, twatnoodle.

                    I forget. Are twatnoodles low in carbs?

                    1. BP: No, but they ARE gluten-free.

                    2. KfP – Everyone with celiac disease is celebrating, I’m sure…

              2. If it wasn’t for dickheads like you, there wouldn’t be any thievery in this world, would there?

          2. Think what it would’ve meant for English grammar if Strunk’s name had been William Strunkner!

            1. His guide would be full of turgid, interminable prose and arrant nonsense?

              1. No, man, you’re not doing it right.

      2. Jesus clearly opposed the pizza sodomy you suggest. It says it right here. [Points to Gospel of Giuseppe]

  28. Fuck these people. I need to consume as many calories as I can get my hands on to maintain a reasonable weight. If I lost 5 lbs a year I would be dead in a few years. If a bunch of fat-asses can’t sort their own shit out, why is it my problem?

    1. In the interest of fairness, how about a sighn at the pizza parlor reading:

      “You must be this fat to be taxed for your pizza.”

      1. Yeah, or make a special skinny door that leads to the special no tax counter.

        But I suspect that most of these stupid tax proposals are just riding the coattails of food nannies and are mostly just grabs for more money.

  29. an appropriate way to correct a market that favors unhealthy food choices over healthier options.

    They seem to be confusing a market that gives people what they want with a market that favors certain preferences.

    1. You are entirely too generous, and assuming that they have any concept of what a market is.

    2. They seem to be confusing a market that gives people what they want with a market overlords that favors certain preferences.

      FIFY

    3. Don’t you know? Anything that happens any different form my ideal picture of the world is a market failure.

  30. Fatness is spreading.

    Uh, huh.

  31. HAWAIIAN PIZZA IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL.

    Hawaiian Pizza and unAmerican and anyone who eats is immediately suspect.

    Pineapples on pizza is the mark of a commie bastard

    Now, now boys.

    The primary problem with Hawaiian pizza is that they left off the green chilies.

    1. You and Bobby Flay should get a room.

      *Full disclaimer: I love green chiles*

  32. Dunno about you guys, but I’m hungry.

  33. It’s funny to me that this is the most discussed article of the day. We reasonoids have our priorities straight.

    Vive la Mellow Mushroom!

    1. While they make an acceptable pie, I don’t think I can treat it as superior in any ultimate sense.

      1. The first time I saw “Mellow Mushroom”, I thought it was a head shop.

        1. Looks that way on the inside, too. I’m not sure how the neohippies who work there can possible produce anything. Must be machines running everything in the background.

  34. A mandatory 5 mile run every morning will have the same effect. Why not that?

    1. I kinda like the mandatory morning calisthenics in the movie 1984. I think I’ll implement the whole movie, eventually.

  35. http://www.lewrockwell.com/dec…..er173.html

    Of course those evil Lew Rockwell writers aren’t libertarian either, right SugarFree?

      1. Oh right, now I remember where the Richard Nikoley hate comes from. Pathetic.

  36. Anyone who proposes any sin tax, is a liberal douche. Period. End of argument.

    1. Anyone who proposes any sin tax, is a liberal douche. Period. End of argument.

      FTFY. A lot of “sin tax” proposals have come from the right.

      1. Liberal-leaning Republicans, maybe.

        I should have tightened that up to read “sin taxes on food are products of liberal thinking”. Better?

  37. They can take my stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with extra cheese from my cold dead hands! ::raises slice of pizza in defiance:::

    1. Oh, they will, they will…..

  38. I just did a statistical study. An 18% increase in the number of times we hit these mother fuckers in the head with a baseball bat would probably lead to a decrease in the amount of this bullshit we have to put up with. Only a slight decrease, but still, I might be worth a try. Probably should do some more studies first though.

    1. IRON LAW #1 in practice..

  39. Not that it matters to these puritanical zealots, but there’s no reason to believe that “healthy” food is any less fattening than “unhealthy” food. Indeed, if healthy food tastes better and makes you feel better, it can only contribute to obesity.

    1. Healthy food is fatty meat. If someone is underweight, they’ll gain weight eating nothing but fatty meat. But they won’t become obese.

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