Good News for Sexual Predators in the U.K.

If you're a registered sex offender living in the U.K. town of Lewisham, you're in luck. The town council of this little Brit burg is considering instituting a "No Fry Zone" around its primary schools. That way, the chubby little primary schoolers will have to walk about a fifth of a mile to get a burger while on break. (Question: Do people really let their primary school students wander off campus unattended for a snack? If so, this is one area where the nanny state has failed to encroach on the U.K.)

Since sex offenders are also forbidden to live close to schools, one imagines a wonderful confluence of events where children wander just outside the forbidden fry zone and, happily, happen upon mustachioed strangers offering to buy them a burger and then give them a ride back to campus. In their unmarked, windowless vans. Everybody wins!

(Note: The law actually doesn't close down existing shops, so—for a variety of reasons—the Burger King King will probably not start abducting British tots. Yet.)