Immigration

No Deportations to a Disaster Zone

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In a decision that proves even public officials have bursts of compassion and common sense, the U.S. government will not be deporting undocumented Haitians to an island devastated by a crippling quake:

The Obama administration said Friday it will allow Haitians who were already in the U.S. illegally to remain for the time being because of their country's catastrophic earthquake.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano granted the temporary protected status on Friday, two days after she temporarily halted deportations of Haitians, even those already in detention.

A good move, one that even border hawks have endorsed. Though if Napolitano and Obama were willing to burn a little political capital to help some people in need—or, more exactly, to allow some needy people more opportunities for self-help—this would be a perfect time to lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who'd like to come here.

[Hat tip: Hannah Sassaman.]

NEXT: The Incredible Incompetence of Martha Coakley

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  1. Who is suppose to rebuild Haiti if you want to bring the Haitian to the USA?

    And do Americans get a voice in who comes here or is it only up to the Haitians?

    1. Bob the Builder? Yes we Can!!

    2. The Haitian isn’t bad. It’s Sylar you have to worry about.

      1. His name is Gabriel Grey, damn it!

        1. Ugh, don’t get me started on how fucking lousy that show has become. Actually, I can’t get started because the show is so lame I don’t even pay attention anymore.

          1. Bob the Builder has become fucking lousy?

            1. It really nuked the fridge after Season Six, when the writers started rapidly introducing new characters. The new gritty, foul-mouthed “edgy” Bob the Builder just shows that the producers are trying too hard.

              1. “The new gritty, foul-mouthed “edgy” Bob the Builder just shows that the producers are trying too hard.”

                +1

    3. “Who is suppose to rebuild Haiti if you want to bring the Haitian to the USA?”

      My guess is they will import illegal immigrants from Mexico to do the rebuilding. Mexicans do the jobs Haitians just won’t do.

    4. If you support the USA having any say you are being a USAian-centric racist and it will be mentioned first thing whenever you appear in public.

      1. Or you could recognize the rights of free people to travel and buy/rent from willing landowners, enter into voluntary contracts with people who wish to employ them.

        Naaahhh…

        1. How do you propose to transport them to your land since the landowners don’t own the roads nor the airspace above other peoples properties. Unless you live on the coastline your land is surrounded by other peoples land and public land.

          Hopefully you don’t plan on using other peoples land without their permission?

        2. Or you could turn on your snark detector . . .

  2. Wow! Such compassion. Unlike the following case:
    Yesterday’s Detroit News
    Our border protection gang at work, protecting us from terrorism and the occasional pot smoker.

  3. this would be a perfect time to lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who’d like to come here

    That depends. Are pacts with the devil transferable?

    1. This would give Top 6 more recruits.

      1. And likely to profuce the 57th president

  4. Perhaps they should simply decide who can be deported based upon “need”.

  5. Not to sound heartless or anything, but isn’t this just an invitation for every Hatian to hop on a raft and come to America with impunity?

    1. No, they will all go to Cuba because it is closer to them and according to Michael Moore it has a better health care system.

      1. Two awesome comments. I will reiterate that “$20ForHeadDontCum” is my favorite joke handle ever.

        1. That says something about you….

          1. My psycholinguistic apprehension of humor is attuned far more finely than that of an ordinary human?

  6. this would be a perfect time to lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who’d like to come here.

    It’s unfortunate that some canny entrepreneur at Reason didn’t think to introduce a Jesse Walker punching bag before Christmas. Could’ve been the next iPod.

  7. We should evacuate Haiti and use the country as a prison for sex offenders. They can have offensive sex with each other all the live long day.

    1. Sounds like somebody has a fantasy.

      1. I never begrudge anyone the fantasy of creating a new and pornographic Australia.

  8. why does letting people in this country ILLEGALLY stay, an act of compassion. As we round up illegals, put them in the pokey, leave them there until the crisis passes, then send them back where they legally belong.

  9. Wait, we’re deporting illegals? When did this shit start?

  10. How many?

    Which ones?

    Where specifically “over here” and why?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    Should we screen for say, TB or would that be “racist profiling”?

    1. you mean you oppose them giving them free medical care but you also want to give them free medical care in the form of TB tests?

  11. Maps on a line, folks. The only reason to oppose more immigrants is because of the zero-sum nature of the welfare state, and two wrongs don’t make a right. Everything else is just veiled racism.

    Yes, I am serious.

    1. I’d be against allowing a mass immigration of Englishmen into the US. Why would I want a group of people who think its OK to have police surveillance camera on every corner.

      Is that racist?

      1. Is that racist?

        If it were, would that change it from being a good idea to a bad idea? If so, why?

        1. Racism qua racism is inherently illogical, therefore a “bad idea”. An idea that some people call “racist” is not necessarily so. Unfortunately there is an entire industry of professional victimhood in the United States that calls things “racist” at the drop of a hat. I am not going to pretend that there are not true racists in the United States, Robert Byrd and Harry Reid for example, but too many people see racism where there is none.

          1. You do not cloak your racism very well.

            1. Who are you speaking to?

              1. You. It was the obligatory sarcastic racism comment and I got to your comment first.

                Are you new here?

                1. Sorry, Suki, my sarcasm detection is a bit off this morning. The jarring nature of the news lately has been getting to me. An Earthquake, an election with national implications and on top of all that Tiger Woods is entereing sex rehab. I can’t take all of this important news. It is getting to me.

                  1. Aw, well, here is some good news for us and Haiti. Obama is sending Hillary there today.

                  2. Very good extra-dry sarcasm at the end, PIRS.

                    1. Thank you Suki and Art-P.O.G. 🙂

                    2. You are welcome! Don’t forget your cloak. It could easily fall into the wrong hands around here.

    2. Lines on a map, maybe?

    3. Still the same sanctimonious twit you ever were, aren’t you?

    4. “Maps on a line, folks.”

      I think you meant “lines on a map.”

      And families are just “people with similar last names.” But people have these pesky, irrational attachments to both nations and families.

      But, massive disagreements on everything aside, it is nice to see TAO back.

      1. Odd echo from 1.16.10 @ 7:50AM with added meaningless crap.

    5. It’s horrifying to imagine kids being proud to be white [sic].
      ? Newsweek, Sept. 14, 2009

      1. People should be proud of what they do, what their accomplishments are. To be proud or ashamed of your phenotypical traits is a waste of time.

        1. Still, even though I don’t know what the context of that “Newsweek” quote was, it seems a bit odd.

          1. That leads to the question that everyone wonders but rarely dares to ask. If “black pride” is good for African-American children, where does that leave white children? It’s horrifying to imagine kids being “proud to be white.” Yet many scholars argue that’s exactly what children’s brains are already computing. Just as minority children are aware that they belong to an ethnic group with less status and wealth, most white children naturally decipher that they belong to the race that has more power, wealth, and control in society; this provides security, if not confidence. So a pride message would not just be abhorrent?it’d be redundant.

            from page 5 of this article

            1. The most remarkable thing to me about that article is the over-the-top hand-wringing by the author(s).

              1. In the social circles the author probably runs in, the hand wringing over such an issue is fairly subdued.

            2. Instead people should be proud of having “less status and wealth”?

              1. Nah, ideally, pride is tied into a legitimate sense of accomplishment.

              2. Yea, all you races who don’t automagically do well at school without studying or reading the lessons. HA!

        2. I looked on Urban Dictionary and couldn’t find ‘phenotypical traits’, god I hate those streetisms. I wish my goddam 50-Cent record had subtitles. My Kanye records are at least understandable: sucks to be white (=genetically racist). Fuck!

      2. It’s horrifying to imagine kids being proud to be white [sic].
        ? Newsweek, Sept. 14, 2009

        I don’t think I’d go with “horrifying,” but “sad” or “pathetic” would work.

        I remember reading that article and it did raise a few interesting points, but I just can’t see justifying playing “us vs. them” even if it motivates kids to do good in school. There’s way too much trouble later because of it, and that whole attitude doesn’t translate well to success in the real world.

        I would imagine that if we had some magical way of getting 100% honest answers from people, a poll of “Are you proud of your race?” would show a much lower racial pride result for the most successful than the general population. If you have drive and intelligence, you don’t need silly collective “pride” in people with the same amount of pigment as you.

  12. lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who’d like to come here

    A nice gesture but politically unpalatable with bankrupt state budgets, a health care “crisis” and a 10% unemployment rate. Let the do-gooders text their $10 donations while driving and get on with the truly important stuff, like gathering football snacks.

    1. Go Saints!

      1. If NOLA goes all the way, does this mean there’s hope yet for Port-au-Prince?

        1. If NOLA goes all the way, that means there’s hope for all humanity. Including the Lions, Bengals and Browns.

          1. When the press was reporting all those terrible things in the Stuperdome after Katrina it was out of habit.

            1. LOL…yeah, the poor Katrina victims’ mien was pretty much indistinguishable from that of the typical Saints fans in those days.

              1. Sorry, I was referring to the sad-sack Saints pre Katrina. I’ve been a Saints fan since before Wade’s daddy got rid of Archie.(Bum was hated for that)

                It has been a long hard road.

                1. Oh, yeah. I remember those Saints, double b.

                2. Did you wear the bag over your head? The ‘Aints?

                  1. Not me. I wear my Saintslove with honor and courage. Like I wore a ‘fro in the late 70s. (my nickname in high school in Mississippi started with an “N”.)

                    1. Regardless of who invented it, the Bag Over The Head was and is an inspirational bit of absurdity. Haven’t seen that demonstration in a while, though. I believe embarrassed team officials may have banned it, per their PROHIBITED ITEMS list:

                      Any item deemed inappropriate by stadium management will not be allowed into the stadium, including but not limited to:

                      * Any alcoholic beverages
                      * Weapons of any kind [including knives]
                      * Food or beverages
                      * Illegal drugs or substances
                      * Coolers or containers
                      * Umbrellas
                      * Fireworks or pyrotechnics
                      * Animals
                      * Strollers or baby seats
                      * Chairs
                      * Noisemakers, bullhorns or air horns
                      * Balloons or beach balls
                      * Bags larger than 8 ?” x 11″ x 6″

                    2. I am surprised Frisbees didn’t make the list. I was at The First Day of Rock and Roll at the Superdome in ’79. I saw a frisbee get thrown from the top level. It came down at a steep angle and very high rate of speed and hit some poor bastard in the forehead between the eyebrows. Dropped him like a sack a taters. The frisbees, hundreds of them, were handed out by a local radio station. ahhhhh, good times.

                    3. Your so-called “good times,” brotherben, are antisocial, disruptive and dangerous. They present a vision of irresponsible hooliganism, an “anything goes” attitude that we, your duly elected nannies, are pledged to repress, amen.

                    4. My “good times” assessment was about the concert in general, not the frisbee chucking, moron.

                    5. Lighten up, double b. Somethin’ tells me someone was funnin’ ya.

                    6. and I was funnin back with a misplaced comma. I was riffin, on my terrible understanding of, where commas should go.

                      Miss Poppins, please accept my sincerest apology for the humorlous namecalling. It was completely uncalled for.

                    7. Is everybody’s snark-o-matic broken today?

                    8. Mine is operating at peak efficiency. The problem facing others is that my snark is so edgy that it can be very subtle and extremely difficult for even the latest model of detectors to pick up on.

                    9. bb, I think we suffer from the same advanced evolution of snark. I no longer feel alone.

                    10. I accept your apologies.

                    11. Now line up for inspection. And drop your drawers.

                    12. Done. Just a spoonful of sugar…

  13. Well duh! This makes sense to me dude!

    RT
    http://www.online-anonymity.se.tc

  14. this would be a perfect time to lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who’d like to come here.

    Isn’t there an example from the 1970’s where this worked great? We don’t even have to use the Navy. Just tell anybody with a boat to go to Haiti and pick someone up.

  15. Can someone, please, please get rid of the anonymity spam bot!

    1. What? No! Anon Bot always plus-ones my comments. It’s a sycophantic bot.

      1. The Art P.O.G. is anonyBot?

        1. I wish…I mean, wait, no.

  16. Barak Obama just needs to give a speech about Haiti ? with reverb. If he does this it will qualify him for another Nobel Peace Prize.

    1. I actually thought the excerpt of his Haiti speech I heard was pretty good. That’s the only sound bite I’ve heard from him (other than his “fatherhood” PSA) in what must be over a year that I can say that about.

      1. except that he…spoke for the whole world. Really? There are some creepy motherfuckers in our world. Maybe Baby Doc? Maybe Papa Doc?

  17. There for he obviously deserves an “aspirational” Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently giving a speech about something is enough now. I wonder, could I win a Nobel Prize for Science if I gave a speech (with reverb) about a discovery I would like to make?

    1. Depends. Do you have a smooth baritone suitable for doing voiceover work for a movie trailer?

    2. I wonder, could I win a Nobel Prize for Science if I gave a speech (with reverb) about a discovery I would like to make?

      Add “up” to the end and you will be very close 🙂

  18. The idea behind the Nobel PIRS was that Obama had changed a climate which W had set that was seen as fostering conditions more conducive to international conflict than international cooperation. Whether it’s sensible or not the fact is that the Obama Administration seems more open to less sabre-rattling with nations such as Russia and Iran than the W administration and huge chunks of the world now seem more favorable towards and amenable to working with the US.

    That’s the idea. Me, I can think of other people more deserving, but it was hardly given “just giving a speech.” You’re being unfair out of your ideological bent.

    1. So we got out of Iraq and Afghanistan? When did that happen? It’s great news! I am glad our troops are not dying over there and killing civilians! That is great. I must not have watched the news that day however.

    2. In other words the Nobel Committee thought that Obama will turn the USA into the world’s doormat and were prematurely rewarding him for it.

    3. MNG|1.16.10 @ 10:19AM|#
      “The idea behind the Nobel PIRS was that Obama had changed a climate…”

      Uh, this would mean they fell for his BS?

    4. Silly MNG, it’s not called the Nobel PIRS, it’s the Nobel PRIS. Surely you were having a TEH moment.

  19. Of course your comment doesn’t seem relevant to anything I said above. While fighting those two wars the Obama administration has made diplomatic changes that have lessened W’s sabre-rattling in significant areas and created better conditions and more enthusiasm for international cooperation. That’s what the Nobel Committee noted in awarding the prize.

    1. “Of course your comment doesn’t seem relevant to anything I said above.”

      On the contrary, it shows the shallowness of what you said above. If I am being mugged I don’t care about the tone of voice the mugger uses. I don’t care if he is speaking in a pleasant tone of voice or a harsh one. The important thing is that I am being mugged.

      1. Well, since I already argued that the prize was not given for a speech you sink even deeper into irrelevancy. It was given for the reasons I noted in the two posts above which you seem unable to address. It’s OK though, many a person has taken silly stances due to their ideological partisanship.

        1. “Diplomatic changes” merely means different methods of disembling with words. Again, what is important is not what politicans say to one another but the actual results on the ground. He may be “opening channels of communication” or what have you but this is irrelevant to non-politicans. What are the RESULTS. That is the important thing. So far, we have seen nothing.

          1. Does a dramatic decrease in troop deaths in Iraq count as positive results?

            1. That depends, does it corespond to a dramatic increase in troop death in Iraq and dead innocent people in Northern Pakistan?

              1. Above should read:
                That depends, does it corespond to a dramatic increase in troop death in Afghanistan and dead innocent people in Northern Pakistan?

                1. PIRS, the two wars/conflicts are different situations and are being treated as such by the pres. He made campaign promises to cutback in Iraq and ramp up in Afghanistan. I am no military analyst and don’t know exactly why the death toll of U.S. troops is lower in Iraq but have to consider the possibility that Obama’s more diplomatic approach to foreign affairs is responsible in part.

                  1. Dangit, the end of the first sentence is sposed to be president. The abbreviation made the sentence appear to have a typo. sorry.

                    1. “He made campaign promises to cutback in Iraq and ramp up in Afghanistan.”

                      Yes, he made campaign promises to kill fewer people in one country and kill more people in another. And the mainstreem press thinks this is a good idea because he delivered the promises with reverb.

                  2. I’m not a military analyst either, but I don’t think you can give the POTUS any direct credit for the improving situation in Iraq.

          2. But we’ve seen some results. Conditions with Iran and Russia are much more favorable for peace. Lord during W’s administration people were talking about imminent war with Iran and ramping up measures vis-a-vis Russia that were certainly not conducive to peace or cooperation…

            1. “Conditions with Iran and Russia are much more favorable for peace.”

              Really? So the protesters in Iran and Russia are just right wing tea-baggers angry with Obama?

              “Lord during W’s administration people were talking about imminent war with Iran”

              Umm … people still are …

              1. What does the protestors in Iran and Russia have to do with Obama’s different dealings with those two nations? Explain.

                1. Your statement was “Conditions with Iran and Russia are much more favorable for peace.”

                  I was showing that this is not the case.

            2. We’ll be fighting in the streets
              With our children at our feet
              And the morals that they worship will be gone
              And the men who spurred us on
              Sit in judgment of all wrong
              They decide and the shotgun sings the song

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around me
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              And I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again
              Don’t get fooled again

              Change it had to come
              We knew it all along
              We were liberated from the fall that’s all
              But the world looks just the same
              And history ain’t changed
              ‘Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around me
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              And I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again
              Don’t get fooled again
              No, no!

              I’ll move myself and my family aside
              If we happen to be left half alive
              I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky
              For I know that the hypnotized never lie

              Do ya?

              There’s nothing in the street
              Looks any different to me
              And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
              And the parting on the left
              Is now the parting on the right
              And the beards have all grown longer overnight

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around me
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again
              Don’t get fooled again
              No, no!

              YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

              Meet the new boss
              Same as the old boss

          3. So on this point I take it you don’t agree with Scott Brown, whom you endorse on another thread.

            “State Senator Scott Brown (R-Wrentham) issued a statement tonight supporting President Barack Obama’s decision to send more troops to Afghanistan.

            “I support President Obama’s decision to add more troops in Afghanistan. Winning the war on terror and defeating the Taliban is essential in preventing another 9/11-style attack. I am disappointed but not surprised to see how far out of step my Democratic opponents are with a President from their own party on a major issue of national security and foreign policy.”

            Better hold that nose tightly 😉

            1. The election for U.S. Senator in Mass. is about one issue – one issue only – health care deform.

              1. Right, because he will only be allowed to vote on that issue, then he will resign or vote present for everything else.

                And because, since he voted for this, I guess he’s so much better on that issue:

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M…..are_reform

                1. He is one of 100 senators, but he is the crucial 41st vote. That is why, despite his flaws, I would vote for him if I lived in Mass.

                  1. I’d hate to live in Massachussetts because, I might have to fall for that. On the bright side, after his vote you could cause a very minor scandal and get an impeachment out or (not sure if it’s on Mass’s books) a recall election.

            2. We’ll be fighting in the streets
              With our children at our feet
              And the morals that they worship will be gone
              And the men who spurred us on
              Sit in judgment of all wrong
              They decide and the shotgun sings the song

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again

              The change it had to come
              We knew it all along
              We were liberated from the fold, that’s all
              And the world looks just the same
              And history ain’t changed
              ‘Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again
              No, no!

              I’ll move myself and my family aside
              If we happen to be left half alive
              I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky
              For I know that the hypnotized never lie
              Do ya?

              Yeah!

              There’s nothing in the streets
              Looks any different to me
              And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
              And the parting on the left
              Is now parting on the right
              And the beards have all grown longer overnight

              I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
              Take a bow for the new revolution
              Smile and grin at the change all around
              Pick up my guitar and play
              Just like yesterday
              Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
              We don’t get fooled again
              Don’t get fooled again
              No, no!

              Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

              Meet the new boss
              Same as the old boss

  20. So what are the chances of an enterprising entrepreneur turning Haiti into Libertopia?

    1. LOL @ usage of “enterprising entrepreneur”.

      1. Don’t they need to find an Enterprise Architect before they even think about that?

        1. Shit. Gene Roddenberry passed away.

  21. “this would be a perfect time to lay out the welcome mat for Haitians over there who’d like to come here”

    This stupidity is why I long ago dropped my LP membership.
    *Delaying* deportations is the humane thing to do.

    My older sister was a social worker in south Florida (Ft Lauderdale-Miami) for about 15 years and seen it become progressively shittier and shittier for ordinary people.

    Last year she decided to come back to the United States.

    1. The problem with the LP is that they think liberty is synonymous with “drop trou, bend over, and take all comers”.

      But here’s an up and coming party with some interesting ideas.

      1. Interesting ideas, and some bad ones.

  22. I’m *for* a more open immigration policy, but one that has a throttle, and puts skills and ability to contribute before ‘diversity’ and [their] need.

    What in hell makes you think that a big part of the problem of Haiti being such a shithole has *nothing* to do with ordinary haitians?

    1. The problem is in the language. Why don’t more people get that? Language impacts the way we think about ideas.

      Why would you, because you are angry about a delay in food arival, block the very roads that could bring that food? Is that not counterproductive? The answer my friend, is blowing in the language. The answer is blowing in the language.

      1. The world will be a much better place once we’re all speaking mexican.

        1. Mexican is a nationality, not a language. So, to which langauge are you refering? Spanish, Nahuatl (Mexicano, Mexicanero, Nahuat, Nahual, Melatahtol), Yucatec Maya (Maaya t’aan), Mixtec (Tu’un s?vi), Zapotec (Binizaa), Tzeltal Maya (K’op o winik atel), Tzotzil Maya (Batsil k’op), Otom? (H?? h??), Totonac (Tachihuiin), Mazatec, Ch’ol (Mayan) (Winik), Huastec (T?enek), Chinantec (Tsa jujm?), Mixe (Ay??k), Mazahua (J?atho), Tarascan (P’urh?pechas), Tlapanec (Me’phaa), Tarahumara (Rar?muri), Amuzgo (Tza?cue), Chatino (Cha’c?a), Tojolab’al (Tojolwinik otik), Popoluca (Zoquean) (Tunc?pxe), Chontal de Tabasco, Huichol (Wix?rika), Mayo (Yoreme), Tepehu?n (O’odham), Trique (Tinuj?i), Cora (Na?yarite), Popoloca (Oto-manguean), Huave (Ikoods), Cuicatec (Nduudu yu), Yaqui (Yoreme), Q’anjob’al, Tepehua (Hamasipini), Pame (Xig?e), Mam (Qyool), Chontal de Oaxaca, Chuj, Tacuate, Chichimeca jonaz (?za), Guarij?o (Makurawe), Chocho (Runixa ngiigua), Pima Bajo (O’odham), Q’eqch? (Q’eqch?), Lacand?n (Hach t’an), Jakaltek (Popt?) (Abxubal), Matlatzinca/Ocuilteco (Tlahuica), Seri (Cmiique iitom), Ixcatec, K’iche, Kaqchikel, Paipai (Akwa’ala), Cucap? (Es p?i), Mototzintleco (Qatok), Kumiai (Ti’pai), P?pago (Tohono O’odham), Kikap? (Kikapooa), Ixil, Cochim? (Laym?n, mti’p?), Kiliwa (Ko’lew), or Aguacatec?

          1. You must be some sort of linguist or ethnologist. But wylie was clearly joking about “mexican” being a language.

            1. It isn’t?

            2. Since when? People ask me if I speak Asian all the time. Maybe I should learn it?

              1. Yes, run out and get one of the Rosetta Stone programs. Pick up the one that says “Asian” on it.

                1. I have no need to learn Asian. I bet the odds and got the Muslim language program.

                  1. Rosetta Stone sometimes has different programs for different dialects of the same language. So it can be tricky sometimes. For example, I wasn’t sure whether to get the one for Indian (American) or Indian (India).

                    1. Just get the one for European and be done with it.

                    2. Western European or Eastern European? Because you know you’ve got to learn two different languages if you’re going to be able to converse with the locals wherever you go in Europe, right?

                    3. Since when did they get more than one language in Europe? If Africa can use one language then Europe can too!

                      That reminds me, I need to learn Latin American so I can talk like the Romans.

          2. Oh, fuck off! Shit like this makes the thread far less interesting to read. This ain’t a forum for figurative cock measuring.

            1. My cock extends a whole nine inches into the noosphere.

            2. Shit is a bodily byproduct, not a writing style. So to what are you referring? Arrogance, self-importance, obnoxiousness, self-righteousness…?

              1. Shit is indeed a metonym for anything deemed wasteful or worthless. In this instance, the “shit” refers most likely to the pretentious wordiness of Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis’ 1:13 comment.

              2. Remember that scene in Forest Gump when LBJ said that he’d kinda like to see Forest’s wound and Forest drops trou right then? That shit was funny.

                1. OK, shit can refer also to anything undefined, much like “thing” or “stuff”. Or “moment” (nonscientific) for that matter.

                  1. So ‘shit’ is incredibly versatile, much in the same way shit can be used as a fertilizer.

                    1. Also, the completely unnecessary homoeroticism in Top Gun is superawesome.

                    2. I think that their cock measuring was literal.

                    3. You’re gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

                    4. So now it’s gay for a bunch of muscular men to oil themselves up and play slow-motion volleyball in front of an all-male audience while Kenny Loggins blares?

              3. Holy shit! Is that the Joe you guys are always trying to invoke into returning?

                1. Nah, that’s uppercase Joe. Diff dude.

                  1. Is that like being Black on the left side instead of Black on the right side?

                    1. Well, they’re both men of mystery, true.

          3. Jesus H (as in Peyote-partaking Huichol) Christ! And for another H, maybe some, just a few, one or two at least Hohokams live in present day Mexico?

            By the way, it would have been a lot easier to understand your list if you put in some sort of family groupings. I always thought Yucatec, K’iche, Kaqchiquel and Ch’ol were together somewhat.

            I get your point, but I often as a speaker of Mexican-style Spanish with a rich understanding of other nation-state and intra-nation-state forms of Spanish use the old Mexican (as Steve Martin once used famously) as other-than Spanish. Good God, language is so fluid but people take it all so statically.

            1. I thought most all of them lived in New Mexico now? Maybe a few in Texas?

              1. There aren’t any Hohokams in my ‘hood. In yers?

                I said 1 or 2 in Mexico fer Christ’s sake. Give me a fucking technicality on a fucking technicality! Wasn’t that the point of my post? Fuck!

  23. Same as the old boss

  24. “Aw, well, here is some good news for us and Haiti. Obama is sending Hillary there today.”

    Now I know everything will be all OK. She did such a great job getting her healthcare bill passed in the 1990’s that I know she can help the people of Haiti.

    1. I’m thinking that whatever big-ass mode of transport they use for Hillary’s photo-op could be better used by filling it with shit those people actually need. Same with all the reporters that have gone there to see who can find the most pitiful story.

      1. Has Geraldo Rivera arrived yet? Fox seems to send him wherever there is death, destruction and misery. That must be his specialty.

        1. He thrives on death, destruction and misery…has anyone ever seen Wario and Geraldo in the same room at the same time?

    2. Haiti + Dead = Zombies

      An eternal supply for Romero films. (Jester’s gratuitous racist & heartless comment for this thread)

  25. I’m thinking that whatever big-ass mode of transport they use for Hillary’s photo-op could be better used by filling it with shit those people actually need.

    Not to mention the high probability of completely shutting the airport down for a big chunk of a day, for “security” reasons. She should just call them on the telephone. Or send a postcard.

    1. Good point. I hadn’t considered that.

      1. She should lead the boat lift.

        1. Exactly, lift the boats and they can fllLLLYYYYY!

      2. Yes, the Haitians would be very thankfull for that. They might not get life-saving medicine or food but at least they will get to see a former First Lady of the United States.

        1. First Lady: “Come forth Lazarus.”

          Lazare: “Bon, je m’apelle Lazare, mais…

          1. appele fuck!

  26. Maybe Geraldo will fall into the clutches of the cannibals. I’ve got my fingers crossed.

    1. Anybody want to start a pool on when he becomes a zombie?

      1. You assume he already isn’t one.

        1. Quit tipping my hand on my pick for the pool!

  27. Naomi Klein is gonna be pissed

    Even as rescuers are digging victims out of the rubble in Haiti, policymakers in Washington and around the world are grappling with how a destitute, corrupt and now ruined country might be transformed into a self-sustaining nation.

    Development efforts have failed there, decade after decade, leaving Haitians with a dysfunctional government, high crime and incomes averaging a dollar a day. But the leveled capital of Port-au-Prince must be rebuilt, promising one of the largest economic development efforts ever undertaken in the hemisphere. And those who will help oversee it are thinking hard about how to use that money and attention to change the country forever.

    “It’s terrible to look at it this way, but out of crisis often comes real change,” said Ross Anthony, the Rand Corporation’s global health director. “The people and the institutions take on the crisis and bring forth things they weren’t able to do in the past.”

    The early thinking encompasses a broad swath of issues. Policymakers in Washington are considering whether to expand controversial trade provisions for Haiti and how to help fund the reconstruction for years into the future. The rule of law needs to be strengthened, particularly when it comes to immediate matters like addressing property rights, inheritance and guardianship in hard-hit neighborhoods.

  28. I just heard on NPR that The Hillary flew into Haiti on a C-130 transport. The were able to make room for 100 cases of bottled water and some MREs. I can only assume that the other 18 tons of capacity was for vehicles and security personnel to keep her safe.

    1. That’s just how HillDawg rolls…

      1. Well, at least it cost less than the Pelosi entourage to Copenhagen. Hillary only took one plane, and it actually had some useful stuff on it.

    2. Was any of that water Fiji water? That is lefty wrong these days. Google 4 why.

      I’ll never understand why we ship plastic-bottled water when iodine pills are a much easier substitute. I can send a tiny bottle of iodine treatment tablets that will treat 20 gallons of water, dirty stinking polluted water, for the cost of a bottle of Evian. Haiti isn’t freaking Arabia for God’s sake (sake, the Japanese accompaniment to sushi. Try it some time. With sushi of course. Or with Suki.)

      Besides, Evian is for model-actress superstars to wash their hair. Wait, where did I ever hear that? That is way to stupid-bullshit to be believed.

      1. I’ll pass. Have a fine chardonnay?

        1. Good God,

          You’re up late. Sorry just polished off some Malbec.

          When I drink white (half the time) I scarcely spring for fine Chardonnay, but I’d spring for you Suki. Do you prefer California Chardonnay or the French ones? Chablis?

          1. California, of course. Just text it to me.

  29. Don’t forget; it can always get worse.

    “Holy shit. We just saw a gigantic shark eat what looked like a person in front of our house,” witness Gregg Coppen posted on Twitter. “That shark was huge. Like dinosaur huge.”

    The shocking attack yesterday afternoon came after an increase in recent shark sightings and led to calls for an electronic warning system to alert swimmers.

    Skinner, 37, a Zimbabwean who lived in the Democratic Republic of Congo, was standing chest-deep 100 metres from the shore and adjusting his goggles when the shark struck. It was seen approaching him twice before he disappeared in a flurry of thrashing. Cape Town’s disaster management services had issued a warning hours earlier that sharks had been spotted in the water, but the shark flag was not flying.

    Witnesses described the terrifying scene. The shark was “longer than a minibus”, Coppen told the Cape Times newspaper.

    SEE?

    1. I personally hate people that don’t understand dinosaur sizes. Please! Brontosaurus or Velociraptor. Two very different sizes. And that is amateur dino-sizing.

    2. Are you implying that land sharks are a) real and b) will predate on Haitians?

      If so why wouldn’t they feed on the already dead and save themselves the trouble of impersonating candy-gram deliverers? Sharks (and land-sharks presumably) are scavengers.

      1. If landsharks are real…there’s no telling how they’ll behave. Hell, they might even be polite.

        1. I thought they knocked on the door and pretended to be something else? There is an ancient SNL item about it on YouTube someplace.

          1. Ah, thanks. I didn’t get the reference…

        2. If landsharks are real…there’s no telling how they’ll behave.

          Oh, please. They’ll run for office. What else would mindless, relentless, ruthless predators do?

  30. ACORN is currently transferring the Haitians to Massachusetts, registering them to vote and showing them which button to push in order to vote for Coakley.

    1. ACORN is currently adding names that pop up on the TV from Haiti Earthquake coverage onto their database for entirely different reasons. Elections? WTF are those?

      1. Southland Tales was so prescient.

  31. I was watching a TV show, the name of which I will not disclose for fear of endless ridicule, and the claim was made that almost all the farmland in Haiti had been hopelessly destroyed by the cultivation of sugar cane for rum production. Accepting this as true, just for sake of discussion, would it be insensitive of me to point out that they appear to have a sudden abundance of available fertilizer just laying around, stinking up the place? And, even if it’s insensitive, is it fundamentally incorrect in some way? I’m just asking.

    1. Yes, you ask the wrong question. The question is: when was the last time I bought a bottle of mother-fucking rum from Haiti? Last time I saw a bottle of motherfucking Haitian rum was on the shelves of a Monoprix store in fucking Paris, France. Fucking French poverty enablers.

      1. There are exceptions, of course, and matters of degree, but it seems to me that turning tropical paradises into festering shitholes of poverty, misery and tyranny seems to be the default evolutionary path. Is it the heat and humidity?

  32. If Obama were all he was cracked up to be, he would have already got Ted Turner to buy Haiti in return for declaring it an American “protectorate.”

    1. You said ‘Obama’ and ‘crack’-ed in the same sentence. You are a racist fuck and this will be noted.

  33. Does this mean Anne Margaret is not coming?

  34. WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama on Saturday enlisted the help of his two predecessors, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, to lead a national drive to raise money for earthquake-ravaged Haiti.

    Bush hates black people. WTF is Obama thinking?

    1. No, he doesn’t hate black people, he just doesn’t care about them. But I think he’ll at least pretend to when he’s in the same room as and ostensibly teaming up with our First Black President?.

      1. But I think he’ll at least pretend to when he’s in the same room as and ostensibly teaming up with our First Black President?.

        Good thing Obama will be there to balance it out.

  35. Wait…considering he’s teaming up with both of our First Black Presidents? (plural), that must mean he does care about black people (other than Condi and Colin Powell, even!).

    1. That was just for show. He did not have as many Black people in the mail room or the travel office as our First Black President?.

  36. Of course Bush never hated or even disliked ‘black people’. He patronized ‘them’ just like his mum and every Dem worth his dollah.

    Fuck that bullshit.

      1. nice Blue Velvet reference 🙂

  37. Here is MSNBC:
    ‘From Haiti’s ruins, a chance to rebuild a nation’

    Rebuild what, MSNBC? What are you implying? Huh?

    Now there is a gem of ‘racist’ bullshit. Very interesting but certainly unsurprising.

  38. This country is completely forget the tenets it was founded upon. What ever happen to wanting your tired sick and poor. Not to mention the unjust disparate treatment of homosexuals… http://lawblog.legalmatch.com/…..y-dispute/ that blog post killed me…

  39. Wow, I would certainly hope not dude. Seriously.

    RT
    http://www.online-anonymity.se.tc

  40. WHERE THE FUCK’S MY PONY WEEKEND OPEN THREAD?

    In his weekly radio address Saturday, Mr. Obama said the large banks that are gearing up to dole out billions in bonuses can afford to pay his planned “financial crisis responsibility fee,” which is designed to generate $90 billion over 10 years.

    “Like clockwork, the banks and politicians who curry their favor are already trying to stop this fee from going into effect,” Mr. Obama said. “The very same firms reaping billions of dollars in profits, and reportedly handing out more money in bonuses and compensation than ever before in history, are now pleading poverty.”

    [….]

    “And it ignores a far greater unfairness: sticking the American taxpayer with the bill,” Mr. Obama said.

    WSJ

    And everybody used to say BOOOOSH was stupid.

  41. Isn’t this the same thing that was done with Ecuador and Nicaragua and never repealed?

    Don’t mistake that question for some protectionist closed boarder heartless asshole comment. I have plenty of assholyness in other areas taht I can spare some sympathy on this one. It might just go to show that once a law is on the books, it isn’t going anywhere any time soon or not so soon.

  42. Welcome to the weekend Avatar open thread.

    The only major puzzle I have from the movie right now is: Where did the Na’vi get feathers?

    They have feathers on their clothes. They have feather fletching on their arrows.

    I did not see a single feathered critter anywhere in the movie, on the web site or even in the Pandorapedia. Did anybody else spot any?

      1. They are communal but they did not strike me as Cuban. Thank you!

    1. This was pretty funny.

      http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBI…..index.html

      1. A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

        “Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

        Well Mike, I can’t prove that won’t happen, so maybe you should give it a shot…

        1. I don’t know. Most lovely eco-friendly worlds such as Pandora have a hundredth the population of today’s Earth.

          So even if his reincarnation ticket is punched for Pandora, he has a 99% chance of being rebirthed as someone who is never born.

    2. They used to have a bunch of birds, but raped them to death were-squatch style with their ponytalia.

      They kept the feathers as a reminder that they shouldn’t rape things to extinction. Sustainable rape is now the Na’vi way.

    3. Those weren’t feathers, they were sliced-up Turok turds.

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