Sports

What Pro Sports Franchise Has a Racist Name, Wears Communist Colors While Playing In the Capital of a Socialist Country, Couldn't Beat a Pack of Girl Scouts, and Makes More Money Than the Yankees?

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Why it's the Chesapeake Bay Indigenous Persons, of course!

Wonderful Newsweek piece on Daniel Snyder's losing-all-the-way-to-the-bank strategy for the Redskins. The team shows less fighting spirit than the Hekawi tribe, yet continues to rake in money like a gridiron Foxwoods:

The Washington Redskins make more money than any other professional sports franchise in the United States. Their estimated annual revenue is $345 million, according to Forbes. Their closest contender, the New York Yankees, bring in somewhere around $320 million a year—but the Yankees bring home championships, 27 and counting. By comparison, the Redskins are lucky to simply have a winning season. They've had all of two since 2000 and won just a single playoff game. And yet, at $1.5 billion, the Redskins are the third most valuable sports franchise in the world, behind English soccer powerhouse Manchester United, and their rivals the Dallas Cowboys, who leapfrogged the Skins this year to claim the title of America's most valuable team.

Even NFL losers can bring hot hotness.

Since buying the team in 1999 for $800 million, Snyder has doubled its value by saturating every orifice of the D.C. area with Redskins' burgundy and gold. He's bought radio stations, charged fans to watch players sweat through training camp, and opened 14 Redskins retail stores to sell as many jerseys, hats, and Redskins' paraphernalia as possible. Snyder was even rumored to have considered selling a brand of Redskins cola at one point…

What the Redskins and Cowboys really illustrate is that the NFL is a business, a collectivist one at that. In a league where 80 percent of revenue, nearly $6 billion a year ($3.8 billion from TV deals, $1.9 billion from ticket sales) is shared equally among all 32 teams, what matters most isn't who wins but who makes money. For the NFL to succeed as it has, and with $7.5 billion of annual revenue it certainly has, what's essential is that big-market teams make as much money as possible to subsidize the smaller market ones. Without revenue sharing, teams like the Buffalo Bills and New Orleans Saints would have relocated years ago. The NFL has been able to keep its regionally symmetric footprint intact, thanks to the millions that owners like Snyder bring in.

Featuring an after-the-jump appearance by eighties legend John Riggins and some analysis of Snyder's plan to turn things around by bringing in George Allen's other son as manager.

Title note for anti-political-correctness types: I am not arguing for a name change. And it's obviously cooler to be a redskin than a paleface—though we all know that when the chips are down, both turn chicken:

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  1. Yes. Fuck yes.

    1. They have won 2 playoff games since 2000…both against the Tamp Bay Bucaneers.

      Snyder is the worst owner in the league. Which is pretty sad because Al Davis doesn’t even know what day it is. The glory days seem so long ago.

      1. Never mind I stand corrected…they only won 1 playoff game. I guess I was dreaming.

      2. Dan Snyder is one angry little man. And fairly well hated by Skins fans.

        You’d think a dwarf with that much in the bank would be happier. He must be the Grumpy of the league.

    2. Good morning everybody!

  2. He’s bought radio stations, charged fans to watch players sweat through training camp, and opened 14 Redskins retail stores to sell as many jerseys, hats, and Redskins’ paraphernalia as possible.

    There is, apparently, no shortage of suckers in our nation’s capital.

  3. The smart business model would be to rake in the revenue sharing while intending to have an 0-16 season, year after year, by trading all your draft picks for cash, fielding a team of low talent players willing to work for the union’s minimum, selling off the team’s stadium and relocating to whatever city is willing to give you the biggest tax perks, playing home games in some low-rent arena to empty stands, and running a barebones staff that gets paid a pittance.

    Course, nobody does this, because owning one of these teams is about the owner’s ego, not maximizing profit.

    1. Call ’em the (Insert low rent city’s name here) Marginal Profits.

    2. Then there’s the Rams.

      1. Try being a Chiefs fan.

        Hell, I adopted the Arizona Cardinals. At least they made it to the ‘Bowl last year.

        1. or royals. no thx.

          1. At least the Royals have Zack Greinke. How did that happen?

        2. Hell, the Chiefs have three times the wins the Lambs have this season.

          Even though I like Kurt Warner, I just can’t root for any team owned by a Bidwill.

        3. Browns fan here.

          I follow coaches rather than another team while I wait for Cleveland to not suck.

          Shula, then Dungy. Now looking for another.

          At least the Buckeyes continue to do well.

    3. Godwin alert: In other words, become the Springtime for Hitler of professional sports.

    4. “The smart business model would be to rake in the revenue sharing while intending to have an 0-16 season, year after year…”

      The Marlins have been trying that for years. The problem is that Loria has competent management, so despite all of the rest going on, the Marlins tend to be decent year after year rather than burying themselves in last place.

    5. Sounds like the Bill Ford Sr. business model currently in practice

    6. Baseball owners do it. Even the lowest revenue team in baseball takes in $80 million in revenue sharing before they even sell a ticket. Yet, teams like the Pirates, Royals and Marlins routinely have payrolls under $30 million. See also LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling. He bought the Clippers in the early 1980s for $12 million. He has never had two winning season in a row and is generally considered the worst owner in professional sports. Yet, the Clippers today are worth well over $300 million. Socialism will destroy anything it touches.

    7. There’s not only a salary cap, but a salary floor.

      1. The salary floor is illusory, and easily circumvented for owners trying for the “make money while totally sucking at the game” gambit:

        A person familiar with the finances of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers says that last season, the team signed two free-agents, running back Noah Herron and defensive end Patrick Chukwurah, for contracts that totalled $25 million. Under the rules of the salary cap, the Buccaneers were charged that full amount for the players. But to actually earn that money, each player had to, among other things, block six punts apiece?an exceedingly difficult prospect. In the end, neither player ended up taking a single snap. Mr. Herron was paid $157,000 and Mr. Chukwurah $71,000, although the team’s salary-cap number reflected the full value of their contracts.

    8. Well I hate to disagree with you, but the Toronto Maple Leafs follow that very model you just described. And for them it works!!! Thanks to ignorant hockey fans here in Ontario.

    9. You ever heard of the Toronto Maple Leafs!!!???

  4. “Redskins” is about the only one of these “controversial” team names that I think is actually arguably racist. “Indians” is pretty neutral. At worst it’s not the P.C. term for the group. “Chiefs” is also neutral and not even obsolete. “Braves” seems pretty positive, P.C. or not.

    1. Call some Native American “chief” and see what kind of response you get.

      1. If he actually is a chief, I suspect he won’t mind.

        1. It is all about context.

          But if you guess wrong you deserve the punch in the mouth…

    2. Vikings, Fighting Irish, Padres, Sooners, ….

      1. Patriots…

        1. My goal is to buy an NFL team and rename it “The Anarchist Mob”.

          1. “The Fighting Negroes”

            Well, if they can get away with Indian names. . .

            … Hobbit

            1. How about “The Howlin’ Honkies?” or the “The Slackin’ Crackers”?… “Jackin’ Crackers”?

              1. You guys need to read ego trip’s Big Book of Racism.

                1. Isn’t there a Monty Python skit about that too?

                    1. I must be confused. Can’t find with Teh Googlez.

              2. How about Fighting Whities?

                Here is their logo. I think it still needs work.

                1. I also forgot about the Butte County, ID Pirate mascot.

                  Yes, that is the Butte Pirates.

          2. The Raiders already have the rights to that!

      2. What’s wrong with Padres?

        1. They suck.

    3. UND has problems regarding their use of “Fighting Sioux”. So here’s my question: If it’s politically incorrect to name a student body after an indian nation, then wouldn’t it be even worse to name something like a coal-fired electricity plant after an indian nation? Pawnee and Cherokee come to mind.

      1. FOOTBALL TEAMS DON’T RAPE THE EARTH!!!

        1. But college players seem to collect a lot of the other rape charges.

      2. How about naming cars and military vehicles stuff like “Cherokee” “Apache”, etc.?

        Actually, i think we should give equal time to some more obscure indian tribes. How about the Blackfeet, the Paiute, and the Ho-Chunk nation of Wisconson.

        1. Apparently context matters. Naming a sports team after certain white ethnic groups, say the Boston Celtics, doesn’t seem to be a big problem. And naming cars after Indian tribes is generally a compliment — implies a certain toughness or ruggedness, certainly not intended to denigrate anyone.

          The Chevy Aryan, though, might raise a few PC eyebrows.

          1. I presume that’s because of the problems we’re having with Iran right now.

      3. From what I’ve heard, the Sioux themselves don’t mind. The protests were coming from other people.

        1. People in the Political Science department.

    4. the chiefs were actually after the kc mayor at the time h roe (chief) bartel. one of the greatest loud mouth blow hards of all time.

      1. And how did he get that nickname?

    5. I’ve heard from some indians who PREFER to be called “indian” over “native american”. The find the latter patronizing, and the former amusing since it reminds everyone how the white man was so dumb he thought he was in India.

      1. there’s another version to this story. Colombus named the people “indios” or “Children of God” as he found the first people he met so innocent and kind. He knew he wasn’t actually in India.

        1. In what language does “indios” mean “children of God”? None that I’m aware of, and I suspect none that Columbus was aware of, either.

      2. Rez joke: What’s the difference between an indian and a native american?

        College

    6. What about the Canucks?

  5. “Lakers” is clearly racist-er. Black guys can’t swim.

    And “Clippers” is homophobic. We all know who’s “well-groomed.” Black guys.

    1. Black guys don’t like to swim. There’s a difference.

    2. I was under the impression that the LA Clipper were named after a fast cargo boat that is practically all sails. It was used by Americans to ship the specialized teas from China the Britain the fastest.

  6. Please! The Redskins are the real world embodiment of the Hekawi – not what they appear to be, much less than authentic, and pulling in the bucks.

  7. Orofino Idaho. Home of the Maniacs . and the state mental hospital north.

  8. The Redskins color is actually burgundy, as opposed to the saturated red most often associated with communism.

    Maybe they should just change their names to the Palefaces. They could even put Larry Storch’s face on the helmets.

    1. The Redskins color is actually burgundy..

      Exactly…..the color of blood after it dries.

      Just another member of the murderous Burgundy hordes!

  9. “The Washington Redskins make more money than any other professional sports franchise in the United States.”

    That seems so hard to believe. I mean, certainly teams like the Cowboys, Steelers, Colts and Patriots have more fans buying more merchandise. WTF?

    1. We’re talking about that dirty profit liberals hate, MNG, not gross revenue.

      Having more income with higher payrolls can mean less profit.

      1. Don’t confuse him with facts. He is having another moment.

  10. 1. The NFL is soooooo in violation of our anti-trust laws imo.

    2. Go Steelers, beat the Ravens!

    1. Oh, and beat the Dolphins the next week. And hey Jets, Texans and about half of the AFC still in the hunt, could you kindly drop a few as well?

      1. Pay back biotch!

        Chargers v. Saints for it all.

        Oh, and SCotUS decided that pro sports (technically baseball) was exempt from anti-trust.

      2. The Texans will gladly drop the game against NE. My prediction is a Kube-ending slaughter.

    2. With any luck, karma will bite the Steelers in the ass this week for all the ridiculous holding they were allowed to get away with last week against the Packers.

      1. Don’t pin your hopes on the refs actually helping the Ravens or even just being impartial. I’m not a Ravens fan, but I can honestly say they’ve been blatantly fucked by officiating in just about every game.

    3. screw you, mng. remember four words: ray lewis, not guilty.

      1. Five words: Ray Lewis, accessory to murder. Fuck you, and fuck your entire city for fostering that illegitimate bunch of criminals in purple. I hope your wife’s lover rapes you in the soft glow of your Christmas tree lights.

        1. i’ve got a wife? i have a christmas tree?

          you may have mistaken the ravens for the bengals. and btw, i sent oher your way to have a little “talk” with you. when the cast comes off, your typing won’t be as fast as it used to be, but with plenty of rehab, you’ll be commenting again.

        2. I hope your wife’s lover rapes you in the soft glow of your Christmas tree lights.

          You really are all about the season of sharing aren’t you.

      2. Hey Steelers haters, you should have gotten this for Xmas:

        http://news.steelers.com/catalog/product/102905/

        The most successful NFL team, period (well, since they started having Super Bowls anyways).

        And for you Ravens fans: do you know why the Ravens have such a bad record on games played on MNF? Because work release is easier to get on the weekends 😉

    4. 1. The NFL is soooooo in violation of our anti-trust laws imo.

      Back in the 80’s a federal court agreed, but only awarded the USFL three bucks (actually three silver dollars) in damages.

    5. The NFL is soooooo in violation of our anti-trust laws imo.

      I’ve never bought this argument. The NFL is a single business with 32 partners. You’re confusing on the field competition with business competition. The NFL’s business competitors are MLB, the NBA, the NHL, the PGA, and anyone else who competes with them for your sports and entertainment dollars.

  11. Go Saints!!!

  12. Lose the shot of the chick with the implants, and bring back lobster girl!

    -jcr

    1. Those are fake?

      Are you sure?

      1. They have that fake tits excessive roundness to them.

        This is not a foolproof metric, though.

        1. You have to see the full, bare tits, and gauge whether they have that beautiful natural sag in their shape, to have a good idea of whether they’re fake. And even then it’s possible to be wrong.

          1. I was kiddding mostly. They sure have that storebought look to them. Dollarstore that is. yuck. It could be big ole naturals with a real damn good push up bra, but I doubt it.

        2. “Excessive roundness”

          No such thing!

          1. Matter of taste. I like the look of the shape brought on by the tug of gravity, not the perfect semi-circle of silicon implants.

            If you like fake tits, you’re welcome to them.

            1. They taste different?
              Also, those above are on the upswing, so naturally are going to look a bit fuller, rounder.

              1. It’s no sideboob, but it’ll do.

            2. If I can touch ’em… they’re real.

    2. Lobster girl? Click on my handle and scroll down to the Christmas Eve post.

  13. Then there’s the Rams.

    1. A lesson to you all, the above is what happens when yopu don’t use preview.
      __________________________________________

      Then there’s the Rams.

      Try being a Chiefs fan.

      The Detroit Lions, the worst NFL team this century,* have garnered one of their two pathetic victories this season against the Redskins.

      * IOW, quit your damned whining.

      1. Yeah, we did manage to eke out a Superbowl win – completely by chance, when a washed-up, unknown backup QB named Kurt Warner stepped in when the starter got hurt – before sinking into competitive irrelevance once again.

        Oh, and the Rammies are talking about leaving unless we replace/upgrade their digs again. Don’t let the door hitcha, guys.

        1. I saw Rams-Bears a couple of weeks ago – a MAC game would have been more entertaining, and probably better played, too. Still better than the Big-10, though.

        2. The Chiefs just upgraded Arrowhead but there are rumors that the idiot son running the team wants to go to LA. Arrowhead is a great facility. A team like Minnesota or Jacksonville would move to it in a minute if L.A. was no longer available. I say good riddance. Take your sorry ass organization and got to LA and leave the Chief name and records behind and let a new one take its place. The Jags aren’t bad. Better than the Chiefs.

          1. Jeffersonian|12.24.09 @ 3:34PM|#

            Yeah, we did manage to eke out a Superbowl win

            “We”?

            1. It’s the royal usage.

              We were highly amused.

              1. In that case, shouldn’t you call yourself “Adamsian” instead? 🙂

  14. The best part of this article is the fact that the first link on the Ads by Google sidebar is:

    “Buy Washington Gear
    Find Redskins Gear at the Official Store of the NFL – NFLshop.com!”

    *roflmao*

    At least we know that Google’s ad keywords are working! 😛

  15. whats the worst ratio of public money pr win? my bet is on kc. royals and cheifs.
    excuse my typing but mt cable is out. freezing rain.
    sent from my htc snap :).E///

  16. DA RAIDAZ

  17. “””What the Redskins and Cowboys really illustrate is that the NFL is a business, a collectivist one at that.”””

    Of course it’s a collectivist business, what do you think a sports league is? They have management and meeting where they decide how they are going to maximize their profits.

    The problem is not that they are collectivists, that after all is what a business is, especially what a corporation is. The big problem is that they get all sorts of special privileges and monies from the government which distorts what little of the free market that exists in professional sports.

  18. At the youtube link there is a guy calling for a remake of F Troop…

    It is hard to belive that he has not seen the movie “Ravenous”

    Not only a perfect remake of Troop F but also makes my two top five lists of best movie with a compound fracture and best cannibal movie.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO98NMMgp0Y

    1. I’m pretty sure Dances With Wolves was the remake of F Troop. Spy had a point-by-point comparison long ago, and others continue to study the matter today.

      1. Man, I miss Spy magazine.

        1. +1. Spy was excellent.

      2. Tim,

        If Dances With Wolves was a remake of F Troop, isn’t Avatar one to?

        1. I think it’s supposed to be a remake of FernGully with giant smurfs.

          1. And without a coked-up Robin Williams.

            1. And FernGully without the coked-up Robin Williams is like Lord of the Rings without the special effects.

      3. I will not be swayed by your attempt to thread jack back your thread that i jacked!!!

  19. The add to the right reminds me of the July, 1974 issue of this.

  20. The funny thing about those who think that “Redskins” is racist should pay a visit to the rez sometime. Football jerseys are popular attire and about 90% of the shirts display the team from Washington, DC.

    … Hobbit

  21. What Pro Sports Franchise Has a Racist Name, Wears Communist Colors While Playing In the Capital of a Socialist Country, Couldn’t Beat a Pack of Girl Scouts, and Makes More Money Than the Yankees?

    I don’t think that D.C. has annexed Raljon–er, Landover. After all, that would create some Constitutional issues.

    Also, perhaps it was brought up earlier, but a ‘Skins-related post today should definitely include at least some mention of the passing of Mr. “Sports Machine”.

  22. What this tells me is that our federal government pays pretty well. Redskins probably charge higher ticket prices than any other team because they play in the land of taxpayer largesse.

  23. I’m sure this has been said upthread, but to make sure that it has been said: I feel like bitchslapping anyone who complains that the NFL/NBA/NHL/MLB is “run like a business”. (although the NFL does have non-profit, tax-exempt status…)

    1. But they are run like businesses. Specifically, like GM, Chrysler, Goldman Sachs, Citicorp, Archer Daniels Midland…

    2. BTW Susan, I’d like to apologize for a sharp comment I made to you on a previous thread. I thought you were trolling.

  24. I didn’t create an alternative to the Redskins mascot. However, for anyone who feels that the Indians’ Chief Wahoo is racist or politically incorrect, I offer my alternative. He’s guaranteed not to offend anyone, except perhaps white people and citizens of Cleveland.

    1. I’m offended anyway!

  25. Is it just me or is that cheerleader a little more, um, top-heavy than most? Not that I’m complaining or anything.

  26. Check out the Fighting Whities of Northern Colorado.

  27. I don’t know how anyone can say with a straight face that the team’s name is not offensive. I find it deplorable, and suggest that to correct this, they change the name to the “Landover Redskins” to avoid connection with that corrupt cesspool on the Potomac. HTTR.

  28. Troop. A group of girl scouts is called a troop.

    1. The US Cavalry actually predates the Girl Scouts of America. Dessert brownies also predate girl scout brownies.

      source: Wikipedia

      1. I sort of regret not joining the Girl Scouts.

        1. Because you could’ve learned hand-to-hand combat and marksmanship skills if you’d joined? Or is it the cookie sales?

          1. Just a wild guess, but I am willing to make a gentleman’s wagr that she has one of the uniforms.

            You ought to read how she wrote her character in the fan fiction story she did. Sounds like the trained killer stuff is down pat.

            1. I’m sure she wears it better than Chris Kattan.

              1. Are you children done now?

  29. Down goes Benedict! Down goes Benedict!

  30. Wow, this is way cool. I like this very much.

    Jess
    http://www.Ultimate-Privacy.Net

    1. Dummy Jo? That’s not even a realistic name.

  31. those boobs are ugly.

    1. You have a better use for silicone?

  32. Obviously, the ‘skins should have a name more in keeping with the character of the city. Let’s see…

    The Washington Leeches?
    The Washington Gasbags?
    The Washington Looters?
    The ‘Bitch set me up’s?
    The Weasels?
    The Tapeworms?

    Any others spring to mind, guys?

    -jcr

    1. You left out Cosmotarians.

    2. I always liked “Unindicted Co-Conspirators”

  33. I’ve always said the biggest boobs are in D.C.

  34. Why it’s the Chesapeake bay indigenous persons, of course!.The question seems quite interesting.

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