I Live in the 28th Happiest State—Where Do You Live?


smiley and frowny face images

LiveScience is reporting some happiness research results that rank U.S. states (and D.C.) in order of overall happiness. The happiest state is, ta da, Louisiana. (Didn't see that one coming.) The most unhappy state is … New York. (Huh?) The list is below. If you're interested in the research methodology go here to read up on it. 

   1. Louisiana
   2. Hawaii
   3. Florida
   4. Tennessee
   5. Arizona
   6. Mississippi
   7. Montana
   8. South Carolina
   9. Alabama
  10. Maine
  11. Alaska
  12. North Carolina
  13. Wyoming
  14. Idaho
  15. South Dakota
  16. Texas
  17. Arkansas
  18. Vermont
  19. Georgia
  20. Oklahoma
  21. Colorado
  22. Delaware
  23. Utah
  24. New Mexico
  25. North Dakota
  26. Minnesota
  27. New Hampshire
  28. Virginia
  29. Wisconsin
  30. Oregon
  31. Iowa
  32. Kansas
  33. Nebraska
  34. West Virginia
  35. Kentucky
  36. Washington
  37. District of Columbia
  38. Missouri
  39. Nevada
  40. Maryland
  41. Pennsylvania
  42. Rhode Island
  43. Massachusetts
  44. Ohio
  45. Illinois
  46. California
  47. Indiana
  48. Michigan
  49. New Jersey
  50. Connecticut
  51. New York

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  1. The District of Columbia is not a state. There are fifty states – fifty-one.

  2. not fifty-one. (damn it.)

  3. I live in the 51st but vacation in the 8th. What’s wrong with me?

  4. 47th. That explains a lot.

  5. 28th- must be all those miserable souls in NOVA pulling us down…

  6. 45th … but it feels more like the 57th

  7. Why is every state I’ve ever lived in in the bottom 10-15? I blame Ron.

    1. Causation or false correlation?

  8. Clearly New York needs to build more Broadcast Towers, Temples, Coliseums, and Theaters.

    Or just increase the Culture slider.

    1. Or maybe just a charismatic leader and perhaps a monument to boot.

    2. Actually, I think it proves the model is broken, because we already have more broadcast towers, temples, coliseums, and theaters than just about anybody else. Or…wait a minute – maybe that means we’d be even MORE unhappy without those things! Crom knows a huge percentage of our citizens are already entertainers. Maybe we should just have a revolution, turn into a despotism, and use our huge military to keep us content.

      As for me: born, raised, and live now in #51. The girlfriend is a native of #1 and keeps trying to convince me to move there. Can’t say it’s not tempting…

    3. Sooo….more war elephants?

    4. Globe Theater. Problem solved.

      1. That’s pretty much the only way to handle a size 40 city.

    5. If you build up the culture high enough, the cities in neighboring countries will have a revolt and join us! Watch out Canada!

    6. The problem with New York is the take retained by the government (aka the Culture slider in some Civ variants).

      It’s really tough to get lots of happiness with 100% of gold going straight into the coffers of the sociopath playing against the computer.

  9. Louisiana? That is either a function of a high coefficient of retarded people or a statistical anomaly in the model. What next, happiest city Detroit?

    1. Say what you will about Lousianans, but selling liquor in convenience stores (read: gas stations) is a sensible attitude that should spread across the nation.

      1. Don’t forget actually being able to walk from bar to bar with a beer in your hand.

        Whereas the rest of the cuntry is like ‘OMG, that’s evil! My vagina! Won’t someone think of my stupid spawn children?’

    2. I’m guessing they’re happy because so many of the leftards in Baton Rouge went away and haven’t been back since 2005.

      1. The La. survey was done before the big flush known as Katrina.

        1. Happiness in Louisiana has probably gone up since then.

    3. Louisiana has fucking GREAT food.

      That has to count for something.

  10. This is hilarious…the three lowest are where I was born, raised, and spent most of my time. How can MA be higher?

    1. Hilarious … or cause and effect?

    2. How can MA be higher?

      Hope. They know sooner or later joe will die or leave, and then there’s nowhere to go but up.

      And, Epi hasn’t lived there.

  11. Ha! So me being a cynical misanthrope is not my fault; it’s because I spent my formative years in the 28th happiest state before moving to the 50th. My whole life has been spent below the median level of happiness.

    Several million federal stimulus dollars might cheer me up, though. I’d certainly be willing to make the experiment, at any rate.

    1. I live in state #2, and I’m still a cynical misanthrope, so I think your theory has some holes, Jennifer.

      Or maybe I’m the one keeping Hawaii out of the #1 spot.


  12. Louisiana just scores that high because they are all drunk.

    1. Any state that sells hard liquor at the gas station is doing something right, SF. Don’t be hatin’.

      1. Oh, I’m not. Any state that has the drive-thru daiqui shop is going to be happier than one that doesn’t.

        It’s not hate, it’s jealousy.

        1. Come to Albuquerque. On Central, just west of Wyoming is “Foxes Booze n’ Cruise”. It’s right across the street from Griff’s Hamburgers. One of the best burger places in the city.

      2. That would make me happy

  13. West Virginia only scores higher than Kentucky because they don’t have to live next to themselves.

    1. We have to live next to Kentucky, which is even worse.

      1. Zing fail.

  14. I live in “shirts.”

    And I’m happy about that, because I’m surrounded by rashy fat fucks.

  15. Someone do a Red/Blue state comparison… the top looks pretty damn Red compared to the bottom

    1. The pithy answer would be something about “bliss”.

      1. The Blue States are probably miserable because the Red ones are happy.

    2. Correlation between happiness rank and % of vote that went to Obama: 0.43.

      Correlation between happiness rank and % of vote that went to third parties: -0.03.

  16. Louisiana #1. WTF?!?!?!?!

    I live in #5. Ha ha-ha haaaaaaaaa ha. The sunsets here are the best in the world. Here in Mohave county, there is very little law enforcement per square mile. I can buy booze on Sunday. Vegas is 1.5 hours away. The air is clean. Sugarfree, Warty, and Xeones are’nt here. The only thing it is missing is Jennifer.

    1. You. Will. Pay.

      Any state I’m in becomes instantly delightful.

      1. Delightful? More like horrific. Or possibly nightmarish.

        1. What do you know? You live in the gloom factory.

      2. Sugar, if you were here, it would justify me in getting a windmill generator.

        1. It’s not my fault I can turn the world on with my smile.

    2. Arizona’s lack of me is indeed a tragedy. Arizona’s addition of Sheriff Joe is even worse.

      1. Jennifer, the only thing more beautiful than your red hair is the red rocks of Sedona. Please??????? They have their own brewery.

        1. But, since THC is concentrated in hair, if you smoked the bottom 18 inches of mine you’d get gloriously stoned, which is better than alcohol anyway.

    3. Arizona’s lack of me is indeed a tragedy. Arizona’s addition of Sheriff Joe is even worse.

      1. Second double-post in two days. WTF, Reason? Like threaded comments aren’t dysfunctional enough?

    4. We can buy booze, porn, and ammo at a drive-through.

      1. I like that I can get pulled over for speeding here in Arizona and the officer glances at the pistol laying on my dashboard and says absolutely nothing about it.

        1. He’s just checking out your piece.

  17. Hawaii over Florida I can see, but Louisiana? Could it be their superior food?

    1. I’d put Florida near NY. Half the population is happy hey will be dead soon. 1/4 is happy to not be in Cuba, and the lat 1/4 are just rednecks that are drunk and happy most of the time anyway. I never understood the appeal of Florida.

      1. I don’t think that’s an accurate depiction of the state, so I may be able to explain your lack of understanding.

        Florida is actually quite nice, though, of course, some parts of the state are better than others.

        1. And it’s America’s wang. It’s got to be happy about that.

          1. With no income tax.

          2. Nope, otherwise it’d point towards Europe, not the Caribbean.

            1. Maybe America just likes a little brown sugar.

          3. Florida, the flaccid state.

            1. I’ve never understood that. Clearly, Florida is our erect penis pointing at the place we historically screwed with the most–South America and the Caribbean.

        2. I’ve never lived in Florida, visited several times. A good portion of that statement was sarcasm, so don’t send the Florida chamber of commerce on me.

          I still don’t think any of the places I have been in Florida are better than other states. It was mediocre at best.

          I’m surprised Colorado isn’t higher.

          1. I have lived in Massachusetts, Florida, New Mexico, Colorado, and Arizona.

            Florida is, hands down, no contest, the absolute worst fucking place I have ever endured.

            Arizona is probably the best, though Colorado is a close second (maybe first on a snowy day).

            New Mexico is gorgeous, I had some very good times there.

            Florida? Shit from a dog’s ass.

            1. Where did you live?

              1. Miami Beach, Fort Walton Beach, Destin, and Homestead.

                1. Honestly, I don’t know that I can tell you what it is I even disliked about it. I mean up in the panhandle, (“Lower Alabama” as the locals of Ft Walton and Destin called it) it did seem pretty hick-ish.

                  Homestead was too old (and after Andrew destroyed our house, Homestead was just too gone).

                  Miami Beach was like a horde of falsity. It’s hard for me to put my finger on what it was about Florida I didn’t like, only that my life immediately improved when I split.

                  Maybe I’m just wired for mountains and deserts.

                  1. I love the mountains, so, if I ever have the means, I’ll get a summer home up in Tennessee or something like that.

                    If you ever come back, try Central Florida. Very, very nice, for the most part. Except for the Mouse.

                    1. Really? I lived in FL for 10 years and the Mouse was the only part of Central FL I thought was worth a damn.

                    2. Nick,

                      What are you, a Disney shill? Leave this place!

        3. I’ve never lived in Florida, visited several times. A good portion of that statement was sarcasm, so don’t send the Florida chamber of commerce on me.

          I still don’t think any of the places I have been in Florida are better than other states. It was mediocre at best.

          I’m surprised Colorado isn’t higher.

          1. I’m not being defensive–you can love it or hate it all you want–I just think it’s a better place to live than you’re giving it credit for. I did my time in the Midwest, Washington, and DC and have visited a good chunk of the rest of the country. Florida has a lot of good qualities, provided that you live in the right part. I’m not very fond of southeast Florida, for instance.

            1. That’s a good point, and applies to most states, I’d think. Perhaps small states like DE, CT, and RI can reasonably be treated as monolithic in culture and economy, but trying to generalize people in CA or TX is ridiculous. Even in a relatively small state like NY, the mood in NYC is very different than say, Buffalo.

      2. Florida is great except for the criminally low speed limits, and a VAT on booze.

      3. I was in Florida recently. I thought it was great, but the locals were all bitching about the place.

        Course, I was on vacation on Amelia Island, and I was talking with the staff who worked there and lived elsewhere, so that may have factored into it.

        1. We hate tourists, yet crave your money.

      4. Have you met any of the women?

        Friendly and hot. Though they tend to be friendly with everyone.


  19. I live in #36. Can’t possibly have anything to do with the rain.

  20. Misery representing at #38. How did we beat Nevada? Something seems fishy about this list.

  21. 2005-2008 self happiness sample is a pretty short sampling over a fairly turbulent time.

    I’d be interested in seeing the model for this 38 year old woman.

    This looks about as robust a study as CRU’s models. Are they sharing data? (not the robot)

  22. 48th and falling!

  23. Wonder how this list correlates to the state debt rankings….

    Or the obesity rankings. Some of those overweight states seem like they’re pretty happy.

    Fat and happy and out of debt.

  24. Here are the same states ranked from most to least free based on the findings posted on statepolicyindex.com

    New Hampshire 0.361
    Colorado 0.352
    South Dakota 0.322
    Idaho 0.297
    Texas 0.294
    Missouri 0.269
    Tennessee 0.238
    Virginia 0.235
    Arizona 0.227
    North Dakota 0.220
    Utah 0.209
    Kansas 0.183
    Indiana 0.174
    Michigan 0.171
    Wyoming 0.152
    Iowa 0.148
    Georgia 0.128
    Oklahoma 0.126
    Montana 0.094
    Pennsylvania 0.084
    Alabama 0.078
    Florida 0.051
    North Carolina 0.016
    Delaware -0.004
    Nevada -0.004
    Mississippi -0.005
    Oregon -0.007
    Nebraska -0.015
    Arkansas -0.021
    South Carolina -0.033
    Alaska -0.052
    Kentucky -0.068
    West Virginia -0.080
    Louisiana -0.088
    Minnesota -0.089
    New Mexico -0.122
    Wisconsin -0.167
    Ohio -0.172
    Connecticut -0.180
    Maine -0.180
    Vermont -0.181
    Illinois -0.197
    Massachusetts -0.198
    Washington -0.226
    Hawaii -0.261
    Maryland -0.341
    California -0.343
    Rhode Island -0.377
    New Jersey -0.380
    New York -0.639

    The lists don’t match up quiet as well as i thought they would, but there is the same correlation between Red as more free and Blue as less free as there is on the happiness index. So while different states seem to fall in diverge a bit when comparing freedom to happiness I think there is a general trend that Red states fare better in both rankings. Someone with a bit more time to graph this and compare the results would be needed to truly quantify my hypothesis.

    1. Right on top of it. Also you might be surprised at the results I’m going to get…

      1. Threadwin.

        Don’t forget to apply a few adjustments to the raw data to make it more “representative”

        1. Hey, I went to Penn State (almost got run over by Joe Paterno while walking down Bigler Rd.) and not all the researchers there are jackholes.

          1. Colorado is more free than Arizona?

            I’ve lived in both; I came to Arizona from Colorado and felt liberated.

    2. I have lived in Maryland, Virginia, Florida, Georgia, Texas, Alaska and Illinois. The state with the most freedom was by far Alaska. Yet it is only higher than MD and IL.

      Something is really wrong with this index. I guess no income and sales tax don’t count much on this list. In addition, not having to even register to carry concealed.

      My priorities are completely different than the index above. Alaska is by far the most free state in America IMO.

  25. New York was probably dragged down to #51 because of the distress and misery caused by riding the NYC subway every morning.

    1. Distress and misery? Compared to driving in flyover country?!

      Surely you jest! I mean, surely!

      1. When was the last time someone’s flyover country-based car had to be evacuated because some hobo took a shit in a paper bag and left it? When was the last time someone tried to feel you up in your car (note: against your will being the important part of this)?

        1. One time a man glanced at me while I was in my car. It was horrible! I’m sure he wanted to rape me.

      2. Communting is so much better in flyover country than large east coast cities. Except for Chicago, they don’t have the ring suburb thing going on, so there’s generally decent housing to be had relatively near work. The greatest thing about leaving the Baltimore area was not having to spend 45 min driving to work anymore.

  26. Government. Look at this list and think about the government involvement in the lives of people in each state. NY is the most regulated nanny-state you can find. In Louisiana, even a natural disaster can’t bring the government to their door. Coincidence? I think not.

    1. I live in #51. The government is the only thing I hate about my state…well, them and the Yankees.

      1. A lot of Yankees live in a Northern state like New York, so that’s like saying Paris would be great if it weren’t for all the Parisians.

        1. I’m talking about the baseball team, but you knew that, right?

    2. LA has one of the most corrupt state governments in the nation. Also, the NOPD confiscated firearms from all citizens in the aftermath of Katrina.

      1. OTOH, the NY state government is also useless, but costs its citizens far more in taxes than the LA state government. And the NYPD will gladly grab your guns as well, believe me.

  27. All my time in this country has been spent in the last three. I feel like I’ve been missing out on the great ball of happiness the rest of ya’ll apparently live in.

  28. #34 isn’t too bad considering everyone here is either unemployed, a coal miner, or works for the government.

  29. Being at number 46 is not at all surprising to me. California is full of angry liberals pissed off at the world for being so horribly unfair. The purpose of politics in this state is to punish the people you don’t like.

  30. born in #46 live in #5. well i’m movin’ on up, movin’ on up…..

  31. How sweet it is! It isn’t all just the drinking either. Seafood, sausages and hot sauce add to the happy.

  32. Here’s a ranking by state you might want to consider.


    And long time posters know what state I live in. We rule!

    1. Yeah, but the 37 people that distort the average all live in the mcMansions in Potomac.

      Ok, Ok – I do know the real reason. It is becuase of the neighborhood after neighborhood of nearly identical colonials in Howard and Montgomery counties that have two professional level incomes. Which kind of sucks for us that live in Howard county and only have one professional level income.

    2. Wait, you live in MD?

      That’s it. I’m moving.

    3. Have you ever considered looking at purchasing power adjusted numbers?

      Your attitude is the sort of attitude that created the housing crisis.

      1. Cost of living is a hard thing for the retarded troll to understand.

  33. I live in a state of desperation.

    Where does that rank?

    1. You live in a province of desperation, you mean. We haven’t annexed you, yet. That’s not until Obama’s second term.

      1. By the way, have you played Fallout 3? Apparently, in that alternate reality, the U.S. does annex Canada while fighting a war against China in Alaska. Not sure whether the annexation was welcomed or not by the Canadians. Not that it matters much, because, of course, everything gets nuked.

        1. I just got the Gmae of the Year edition for my birthday. Any tips?

          1. Yes. Buy up ammo and stimpaks and do lots of side missions. Also, I think focusing your perks is a good idea.

          2. Buy the schematics for the shishkebab. It’s cheap to make, uses no ammo and needs litte repair. And when you can, get the pyromaniac perk to enhance its damage.

            1. Yes, that’s a nice weapon.

              I got the Point Lookout expansion. I’m doing okay, but there are some tough opponents to deal with.

              1. I haven’t checked out any of the expansions yet. I’ve been crawling through the original, and I’m still coming across new stuff. The number of hours you can spend on this game is staggering.

                1. Indeed. I got the explorer perk and went through most of the locations. But there’s stuff I know I’ve missed.

                  1. My OCD won’t allow me to get the explorer perk or consult any of the online walkthroughs. So yeah, I can see myself spending 100+ hours on this game.

                    1. I don’t have OCD, but I wouldn’t take that perk either until I beat the game the first time (playing good). Once I played as an evil character, I figured what the hell?

                      Oblivion was like this–never ending. You can just barrel through the main missions, but that takes the fun out of things.

      2. I was describing a psychological, not a physical state.

        The psycological state may be a result of the physical location.

        1. I wish you guys would go all libertarian, then conquer us. We need help.

      3. It’s worth remembering that BC would quite likely have joined the US had Ottawa not bought them off with the promise of the Canadian Pacific Railway.

        Just as in the Atlantic provinces the settlers in BC had strong connections to adjacent States but the pro-Confederation faction led by Amor De Cosmos, who’s personality was apparently as colorful as his name, won out in the end.

  34. And here’s another.


    Notice the bottom ten: all red states but one.

    And I don’t think there is much correlation between the rankings by most free and most productive. Hmmm.

    1. You can’t buy happiness.

    2. Word.

    3. I’d like to see the results of that ranking adjusted for post-tax take home income and cost of living expense. I would be willing to bet that the rankings would change a bit.

    4. Notice the bottom ten: all red states but one.

      And I don’t think there is much correlation between the rankings by most free and most productive. Hmmm.

      Note the word “nominal” in your link, MNG. A bunch of states where people have to be paid extra money so that they can put it towards their expensive mortgages and rents.

      Purchasing power is very different in those states. Please don’t mistake higher costs of living for more productivity.

    5. Said red state denizens probably still take home more after tax than you wonderfully enlightened blue-staters. Nevermind that all of thius analysis fails to account for such factors as cost of living (hint: a big part of the happiness index factors in the costs of living and the resulting disposable income). More proof that money does not buy happiness (but it does buy Democratic voters, yay!). New York, New Jersey, and California, three of those beacons of liberal light, also feature three of the top ten income inequalities in the country. At least the red staters don’t wax piously about giving a fuck about such things.

  35. Almost fatal, north New Jersey
    Newark Airport. Pulaski skyway.
    Pollution’s old there, killed off all the trees,
    Trash piled up in the mountains, blowin in the breeze.

    Concrete Road, take me home to the place I belong,
    Jersey City, Bayonne Mama, take me home Concrete Road.

    All the horseflies gather ’round her
    Refinery lady, stranger to clean water;
    Dark and dirty, floatin’ in the sky
    Disgusting smell of sewage, cinders in your eye.

    Concrete Road, take me home to the place I belong,
    Jersey City, Bayonne Mama, take me home Concrete Road.

    I hear her voice from the cheap motel she calls me
    Sirens remind me that the cops aren’t far away
    And drivin’ down the road I get a feelin’
    I ain’t got the toll again today, today.

    Concrete Road, take me home to the place I belong,
    Jersey City, Bayonne Mama, take me home Concrete Road.

    1. That’s good. I am sending that to my brother-in-law in NJ.

  36. 25. North Dakota
    26. Minnesota

    How does this happen? That’s like saying you would you rather live in Siberia than in Stockholm.

    1. N. Dakota is a Red state. Minn is a blue state. Conservatives are much happier on average than liberals.

    2. Fargo is a great town with wonderful people. In fact everywhere I’ve been in North Dakota is very nice. I’m a huge fan of Fargo. Not a Siberia at all. 200,000 people, nice downtown area, it is a happy town.

      1. Joy, the only downer for your Fargo experience must be the stench of burning rubber that still hangs over the area from me fleeing the area in 1985.

        I actually grew up in a nearby resort area (DL), and was such a rube I thought of Fargo-Moorhead as “The Big Time”.

        Also wonder if the recent oil millionaires from the west side of NoDak might have something to do with their happiness.

  37. Woo-hoo! #45. Eat it, California.

    Self-reported happiness is one thing, the shoe leather test is another. The ultimate gauge of a state’s happiness is the in-versus-out migration rate.

    A pretty good inverse proxy measure of that: the cost of renting an outbound one way U-Haul. In cities where people are moving (e.g. Austin) there’s a surplus of U-Hauls, and they’re cheap to rent. In depopulating cities they’re expensive.

  38. What’s the difference? Sure, North Dakota is colder and has more wind, but you’re already in the insanely cold region when you hit Minnesota.

    I lived in Minneapolis, and they ain’t that happy. What they are is unwilling to admit that they’re frozen and can’t escape. I used to be asked daily by natives why I’d leave Florida for their tundrific state. Not that Minnesota is all bad–very pretty state.

    1. I find Minnesotans to be some of the friendliest people in the country, to generalize. Oklahomans, by the way, seem the least friendly.

      1. Yes and no. I found that the ones I got to know were very friendly, but a lot of the locals were a little cold and Nordic before that point. On the other hand, when I plunged into a snow drift on the highway, some random car stopped and dug me out. Like a minute after it happened.

        1. Geez, we aren’t all Nords. The south half of the state was mostly settled by Germans, the Iron Range was populated by Slavs from eastern Europe.

          I’m also curious why you would think that a taciturn nature is a bad thing? One of the things I love about Mpls is the fact that you don’t have to make small talk.

          Also, the cold helps keep the riff raff out of our paradise on earth.

      2. I have had a far difference encounter with oklahomans. Mostly very friendly, when the sooners arent losing that is.

      3. I live in Oklahoma and the more south and east you go the friendlier folks become. So, if you go out to the sticks, in the timber people are very nice.

      4. If you were in Oklahoma City, they probably weren’t unfriendly, they were just bitter. A lot of people here think this city sucks and are embarrassed. They ignore the many benefits of living here.

      5. I was in Iowa for a while, and the people there were unfailingly nice to deal with. Which I found bizarre, because if I had to live there permanently, I’d be a homicidal asshole.

    2. There is no better city then Minneapolis, in the summer.

      Its just the other 9 months that suck.

      1. Its just the other 9 11 months that suck.

        1. Yes, the implication that spring and summer constitute a three-month period is demonstrably false.

      2. The best day of the entire year is the first day in spring when it is sunny and above 40 for the first time.

        People lose their minds. Our entire street is filled with people just being “out”.

  39. New York must suck major ass. To be 51 out of 50. When you suck so bad you can’t even make into, you are the epitome of suckage.

  40. #40 – Would you expect a state, a state that many of its residents see no problem with the mayor of its largest city stealing gift cards, to rank any higher?

    Next question – Guess what part controls the state lock, stock and barrel?

    1. Given that more than half of the state’s population lives on Long Island or NYC, it’s no surprise they control the state government:


  41. Among the top 5 states we have two that lead the nation in foreclosures, and two that have been mired in poverty for generations.

    I agree that Tennessee (except for Memphis) is nice, though. Nicer than my own bitter, gun-clinging #41 at least.

    1. Tennessee would be number one without Memphis. I’m leaving that place if its the last thing I ever do.

      The Smokey Mountains are very nice and so are the people.

    2. I like Memphis!

      My alma mater is Memphis State. A great place to go to school.

      I do have to agree that the thing I liked most about it was that I could excel without trying very hard.

      I wouldn’t want to raise my kids there, but I loved living there and like to visit old friends.

      1. I got a degree there too. Seeing as you still call it Memphis State, you probably lived there before the city went downhill.

        Thing is, its one of the worst places in the country to get a job and has the highest rate of infant mortality, and among the highest rates of carjacking, murder, rape, robbery and gang violence in the country. Shitty politics, mostly shitty sports and now the changing demographics has eliminated the only (new)rock radio station

        Its like the city that cant have nice things.

  42. #44 FUCK YEAH!


    I can’t believe there are 7 states worse than Ohio. Also anybody else notice that the last 10 states are almost all blue? Except Indiana (and sometimes Ohio.

    1. PA goes back and forth too. As recently as 2002 we had 2 GOP senators and a GOP governor.

      1. but one of those senators was in-Sane-torum…

        1. …and the other one was Spec-traitor. Tom Ridge was kind of creepy too. But, still an indicator it’s not really a reliably blue state.

    2. self loathing liberals!!!!

  43. The article says that the research data was collected prior to the destruction of Katrina.

    I’d say it’s pretty null and void data now. The nation has changed a lot since then.

    1. Some might say the destruction of New Orleans made the rest of the state happier.

      1. I have heard something similar to that from my New Orleans co-worker. He said that Katrina got rid of all the right people. HE said that…not me.

        1. Yeah, and we’re still dealing with the flotsam and jetsam here in Houston. Of course, mainly by shooting and arresting them, but hey, it’s a solution.

  44. #40 with a bullet. Yay. That actually sounds about right. I hate living in MD.

    This only reinforces my desire to move to Arizona, Sheriff Goosestep and my tendency for skin cancer not withstanding.

    1. Hey, Arizona is big. If still need to live in a city, there is Tuscon. Lot of hottie hispanic women, beautiful mountains. If you like the rural, you can’t beat Sedona, Prescott, or Bisbee.

      1. Been to Tucson, I thought it was fugly. I stayed in the Marriot resort outside of town, which was heavenly. Cool Air Force museum.

        Stayed in Scottsdale, very nice and loved the drive up to Sedona, which is a bit too fruitcakey for me. I also threw up in Sedona, well, *over* Sedona, in a biplane.

        Still, loved the state. I’m definitely retiring somewhere out west.

        1. Hey, don’t knock Sedona. I went there on vacation once and received total consciousness. For only $54.95! And I got this cool crystal necklace that focuses my chakras.

          Okay, I made most of that up. It’s a crazy, new-agey place, but it is scenic.

  45. Having been pretty miserable when living at separate times of my life in #16 and #17, and being reasonably happy now, I guess I’ll just have to accept that in my home state (and the state of my birth) — California — “We’re number 46! We’re number 46! w00t!”

    1. We’re also number 46 in educational achievement (with Lousiana being 47 last I checked, lovely irony I say). I guess the ignorance is bliss cliche only holds true when your ignorance allows you to keep the lions share of your earnings.

  46. Globe Theater. Problem solved.

    Considering where California is on the list, I guess Hollywood is overrated.

  47. Where is Nick’s Jacket at? That should at least put a state in the top 25.

  48. Having grown up for a few years in #2 and then lived the remainder of my life in #46, I’d say that would explain why I consider this country on a one-way path to hell with no hope for redemption.

  49. I wonder what the age demographic is on this as well. Although I don’t think this study has legs or is very robust. From the short explanation I came up with more questions than answers about its validity.

  50. For those who care, the Census Bureau has some cost of living by state numbers that point out how silly MNG is.

  51. New York? I thought England was the 51st State of America. Did New Model Army lie to me?

  52. Actually, if you crunch the numbers on that list, you come up with a correlation of 1.0 if you compare it to the availabilty of 9mm ammunition. Just sayin.

  53. They still cook with lard in LA. What’s not to love about that?

  54. are these surveys accurate? or are they infested with oprah like self help bullshit?

  55. #4? Sweet! Grew up in #43 and it wasn’t until I settled here in Nashville that I realized how much easier living life can be.

    You can have your awesome New England winters.

  56. Minnesota is not above average! Someone call Keillor.

  57. The unhappiest 13 states all voted for Obama.

    With the exceptions of Florida and Hawaii (which both have nice climates), the top 9 states went for the other guy.

  58. #36… middling ambition pays off again.

  59. John Thacker
    Here is real personal income by capita per state:


    If you take the most recent year in Excel and sort highest to lowest here are the top ten:

    District of Columbia
    New Jersey
    New York
    New Hampshire

    Hmm, all blue states save one iirc!

    But nice try 🙂

    So to recap: Red States=Happy; Blue States=Productive and Wealthy

    1. Word.

      1. I notice you posted the same thing when the correlation implied good things about the red states.

        Oh snap you didn’t!

        What’s that sound? Like a cough, or a hack…

        1. Hypocricy doesn’t make it untrue. Oh snap!

          1. Hypocrisy too!

    2. What would you rather be MNG, happy or wealthy?

      And yes, I do believe money can buy a lot of happiness provided you buy the right things, but since you are making ridiculous categories you can only answer either wealthy or happy.

      What’s it gonna be?

      1. Would you rather be productive or happy?

        1. Hint: it’s not “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of real personal income”

          And does is that pre- or post-tax real income? Cause making a lot of money for the government doesn’t really contribute to personal happiness for most people.

      2. I choose happy for me, productive for you. Division of labor, that’s the secret.

    3. You have to factor in the “being paid enough to put up with this bullshit” dimension. You’d have to pay me quite a bit more to get me back to MD from even the mediocre number 29.

    4. DC is number one? So you think lobbyists are “productive”?

  60. I knew you’d pussy out of the answer.

    I would rather be happy, thank you. Productivity is useless to me if I’m unhappy.

    1. Syvlia Plath just before committing suicide: Healthy amounts of real personal income.

      That’s your role model?

    2. I’d rather be lazy and rich. I can buy diversion, which passes as happiness for me.

    3. Well, since “happiness” is a very subjective concept – and I’m not sure I trust any metric supposing to assign it some sort of value (or relative value) – and real personal income is of definite value, I’ll go with the latter thank you.

  61. Someone should regress Happiness with how liberal a state is.

    Guarantee it’s more than just correlation.

    Guarantee it.

  62. This is all wrong. According to the NCAA the list should be

    1. Alabama
    2. Texas
    3. Florida

    1. Soon it’ll be

      1. Texas
      2. Alabama
      3 and down… who cares?

      If my Horns are on their game, we’ll stomp the Tide flat.

      1. Stop smoking the Crack man. It’ll be the SEC team, again, winning the title.

  63. Tennessee used to be the happiest state, Then, more New Yorkers starting moving her to escape New York. Now, we have slipped to 4th place.

    I wouldn’t pull for Alabama if they were playing Al Queda. Go TEXAS!

  64. The list is pretty meaningless without an exact description of the “average” American they pulled out of their ass came up with. Some of us don’t give a shit about “sunshine” or “wide open space”.

    1. That’s unamericanal, that is!

      1. It sure is, but all these bullshit lists are based on a kind of “majoritarian” simple-mindedness that makes for good headlines but poor usability.

        And yes, I’m born, bred, and happily living in the 51st State of America, but I’m not just talking sour grapes 🙂

  65. I wouldn’t pull for Alabama if they were playing Al Queda. Go TEXAS!

    Yeah. But you’re from Tennessee, so we haven’t learned anything.

    Either team could lose that game[*], but if they are both playing well the Tide will Roll.

    [*] ::recalls the opening of the Boise State game last year, and goes into another room to cry::

  66. there is a correlation between drug use and happiness, check out this map: http://www.informationisbeauti…..you-happy/

  67. Wow New York is 51 I guess being in a New York state of mind means that your in an unhappy one.

    But I am from #5 Arizona and right now its 70 and sunny. I didn’t need a study to tell me that Arizona is a happy state.

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