Climate Rhetoric: A Further Selection

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hugo chavez image

Yesterday I posted a selection of comments by politicians here at the Copenhagen climate change conference. More words have flowed since then, and I didn't want faithful H&R readers to miss out on all the fun. So transcribed below is a selection of comments made from the plenary podium by a variety of trenchant observers, including a surprise appearance by Fidel Castro:

Any new regime will have moral authority and credibility only if it acknowledges that every citizen of the globe has an equal entitlement to the global atmospheric space.  — Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India

The fault lies with the capitalists, with capitalism….Capitalism is the way to the destruction of the planet. – Hugo Chavez, President of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela

Political disagreements should not hinder environmental cooperation. Carbon molecules carry no passport. Rivers require no visa. Pollution travels with them.  – Shimon Peres, President of Israel

This agreement can lead to the eradication of global poverty through the real distribution of wealth to developing countries. This deal can protect our environment, and preserve our rainforests and the biodiversity that they contain. This deal will finally protect our planet and its species from the ravages of climate change. —  John Gormley,  Environment, Heritage and Local Government Minister of Ireland

Malawi, in Sub-Saharan Africa, lies in the part of the world that is most vulnerable to the adverse effects of climate change and yet, being an LDC, is among those countries that are least able to cope with the impacts. – Grain Malunga, Natural Resources, Energy and Environment Minister of Malawi

The current dominant models of consumption and production are often unsustainable from the point of view of social, environmental, economic and even moral analysis. We must safeguard creation – soil, water and air – as a gift entrusted to everyone, but we must also and above all prevent mankind from destroying itself.  – Archbishop Celestino Migliore, Apostolic Nuncio of the Holy See

Energy is the key to economic development of all States…Therefore, under the international system of mutual interdependence, we expect the outcome to move away from the adoption of protectionist trade policies that are disguised and biased against the various types of fossil fuels, especially petroleum products. – Ali bin Ibrahim Al-Naimi, Minister of Petroleum and Mineral Resources of Saudi Arabia

Elsewhere in the world, commentators may be inclined to refer to climate change crisis as an existential threat. For us in Africa, it is the beginning of the Apocalypse that must be averted.  – Ojo Maduekwe, Foreign Affairs Minister of Nigeria

Cuba, a country viciously blockaded by the mightiest world power, with limited resources has implemented a real energy revolution that has enabled it to considerably reduce its emissions of carbon dioxide.  – Esteban Lazo, Vice President of the Council of State of Cuba

Somalia experienced dramatic environmental shifts following two decades of insecurity and chaos in the country… Somalia continues to witness extreme weather events, changes in weather patterns, floods and droughts, and the vanishing of its biodiversity.  Agricultural production, food security and access to water resources are being severely compromised by climate change. – Buri Hamza, Environment Minister of the Somali Republic

Two cultures are antagonizing: the culture of life and the culture of death. The culture of death is capitalism, which indigenous peoples identify with those who want to live better at the expense of others…[who live by ] exploiting others, plundering their natural resources, assaulting Mother Earth, privatizing basic services. [In contrast], living well is living in solidarity, in equality, in complementation, in reciprocity… When it comes to climate change, these two cultures are antagonizing, and if we don't decide which is the best way of life, we will not be able to solve it. – Evo Morales, President of the Plurinational State of Bolivia

While I was covering an interminable press conference featuring the dynamic Bolivarian duo, Hugo and Evo, I was handed some "Reflections by comrade Fidel." Evidently Castro is watching the conference from afar and he thinks that his buddies doing a spectacular job, actually calling Chavez' speech "brilliant." I include an observation about the conference from comrade Fidel below:

The world has seen the fascist methods used against the people in Copenhagen. The protesters, most of them young people, have won the solidarity of the peoples. Despite the maneuvers and deception of the leaders of the empire, their moment of truth is drawing closer.  —  Fidel Castro, First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba

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  1. This agreement can lead to the eradication of global poverty through the real distribution of wealth to developing countries…John Gormley, Environment, Heritage and Local Government Minister of Ireland

    Ahhhh. Thank you sir for telling the truth. It is refreshing.

    1. This agreement can lead to the eradication of global poverty through the real-distribution of wealth.

      FIFY

      1. This agreement can lead to the eradication redistribution of global poverty through the real-distribution of wealth.

        FIFY x2

        1. Bravo! Well done!

    2. I plan on visiting Hell just to help torture the souls of these fuckers.

      They have been marked.

  2. How to Manufacture a Climate Consensus
    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..lenews_wsj

    Climategate: McIntyre and the ‘Divergence Problem’
    http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/c…..ce-problem

  3. Castro commenting without irony on the treatment of street protestors. Priceless. The only thing more priceless is the leftist dipshits listening to him and nodding their heads.

    1. Yeah, that is just too much. I think that the thing that is most troubling at this conference is that Chavez, Castro and their ilk are not only tolerated, but applauded.

  4. I want to laugh… but these people aim to fuck up my daughter’s future, and i just can’t.

    1. On the bright side, this might actually be the begining of the end. The world can only take so much absurdity and pompousness before it starts looking elsewhere. This shit-show is just the zit becoming prime for a popping.

      1. Your naive optimism is heartwarming.

    2. The crazier they act, the more desparate they are. They know their time is running out on this fraud. Their lunacy is a good sign.

      1. Or maybe they’re letting their inhibitions go since they know their triumph is inevitable.

        History has examples of it going both ways. I won’t bring the first example that comes to mind up since a certain message board law would certainly be misapplied against me.

  5. Christ, hasn’t Castro died yet?

    1. His maladys respond well to warmer temperatures. Global Warming caused by the greed and avarice of filthy capitolist corprashuns is extending his life.

      *end snark*

    2. His body still twitches. Kind of like a twisted version of Weekend at Bernie’s.

      1. He’s like The Head in C.S. Lewis’s _That Hideous Strength_.

  6. It’s the banality of these statements that bothers me the most.

    1. Banality that covers a lot of hidden agendas.

  7. Holy shit, Xeones. You’re not gay?

    1. No. Of course he is. Miracle of modern technology. Tony had his baby last year.

      1. John, you know I like a good zing as much as the next guy but you really don’t have to be so hateful and cruel.

        1. You mean to tell me that accusing someone of having Tony bear their child is over the line? I am shocked.

          1. As a guideline, don’t accuse others of your private fantasies.

            1. No. I want to have Tony’s baby. I don’t want him having mine.

    2. She’s a beard, dude. But he’s not gay. He’s a vegisexual. His daughter is a cucumber.

      1. That’s pretty cool.

  8. One is known by the company one keeps.

    1. Yeah what is the carbon footprint of Cuba, Venezuala, and Zimbabwe? Combined it is probably less than Rhoade Island. Yet, these three clowns show up and give big speeches to standing ovations. Like this is about anything beyond the leftist economic agenda.

      1. Where would Chavez be without the oil? Socialism with oil to sell is Venezuela. Socialism without oil to sell is North Korea. Come to think of it, North Korea could show the world a lot about reducing its carbon footprint. Kind of a lab for fighting global warming…

        1. I saw a teevee show that suggested the quicjest way to remove Chavez from power was an oil price below $45/barrel. It would destroy the Venezualan economy and he would be forced out.

          1. You are assuming he would leave voluntarily.

          2. they will still have baseball and beauty queens.

  9. Yea, things in Somali will get so much worse because of climate change.

  10. It’s time for the U.S. to repudiate socialism once and for all, and kick the world’s ass economically again. Let the fools learn the right path by example.

    1. But that means we’d have to get off our asses and do some hard work.

      Ewww

      1. I didn’t say we’d actually do it. Just said we should.

    2. But, will you pity the fools? That’s really the essential part.

      1. No, that role belongs to another.

        1. I like it. Delegation of responsibility. Very un-Carter-like.

          “And now, as part of our economic education and domination strategy, I present the economic protocol minister, Mr. T, who will now speak about our role in this process.”

  11. In fairness, turning your country into a totalitarian shithole is a good way of reducing your carbon footprint.

  12. Fidel: “By plunging Cuba from developing nation into a third world sh**hole we have reduced our carbon footprint. Now we need to be paid for our sacrifice.” (Translation)

    Isn’t kinda scary when the only one who makes any sense is the one from Saudi Arabia

    Last comment:
    When do we let Evo decide which is the best way of life?

  13. The fault lies with the capitalists, with capitalism?.Capitalism is the way to the destruction of the planet. ? Hugo Chavez, President of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela

    Yes, because Socialism and its Tragedy of the Commons is soooo clean… what the f. are you laughing about?

  14. Apostolic Nuncio? Wasn’t that a character in Caddyshack?

  15. There are no surprise appearances by murderous dictators in climate rhetoric.

  16. Yes, just how clean are the communist and former communist nations?

  17. Overall Translation: We want free shit. Give it to us, you bastards!

  18. nope, no ideologies present in those statements. none. its just disinterested politicians looking out for best interests of the people on the advice of the scientists. its just coincidence that chavez dismisses capitalism. saudi talks about energy. india talks about a global right to the atmosphere.

  19. I remember a few years back, Robert Mugabe was trying to blame the famine in Zimbabwe on global warming, saying it had caused a drought. Turns out, of course, that the drought was no more severe than usual, but because his government didn’t maintain commercial farm reservoirs after seizing them from private owners, they didn’t have enough water left to last through the drought.

    Governments do such a better job in planning for the long term, don’t they?

  20. Agricultural production, food security and access to water resources are being severely compromised by climate change.

    That’s it! Climate change is causing these problems! Which Somalia has had for what, 30 years now? Climate change started earlier than I thought.

    1. I thought it was chattel slavery that did Somalia in.

  21. It’s actually kind of funny that Chavez is getting asshurt over fossil-fuel use dependence. That’s pretty much all that’s holding up his shitty regime, since he’s screwed the rest of Venezuela’s economy.

  22. Half the people have some sort of retarded climate guilt thing going on and the other half have their hand out.

    Looks like a good list to start the eradicating carbon based polluters.

    1. They just need to confess to the Apostolic Nuncio.

  23. You missed this gem:

    Speaking at the United Nations today, Bolivian president Evo Morales proposed 10 commandments to save the planet, life and humanity

    1 Acabar con el sistema capitalista
    Putting an end to the capitalist system

    2 Renunciar a las guerras
    Renouncing wars

    3 Un mundo sin imperialismo ni colonialismo
    A world without imperialism or colonialism

    4 Derecho al agua
    Right to water

    5 Desarrollo de energ?as limpias
    Development of clean energies

    6 Respeto a la madre tierra
    Respect for Mother Earth

    7 Servicios b?sicos como derechos humanos
    Treat basic services as human rights

    8 Combatir las desigualdades
    Fighting inequalities

    9 Promover la diversidad de culturas y econom?as
    Promoting diversity of cultures and economies

    10 Vivir bien, no vivir mejor a costa del otro
    Living well, not living better at the expense of others

    1. Do they really not understand that an honest capitalist transaction has mutual benefit or it is not made? I wonder if anyone has ever explained it to them? At this point, they are so tied to their ideology it won’t matter, but I wonder if they have at least come across that concept.

    2. Interesting to note that the orinal 10 commandments were, so the story goes, given to Moses by God (Jehovah). In this case Evo is giving 10 commandments to us, all of us. Delusions of grandeur?

      1. *original* , and no I wasn’t pissing on the 10 commandments.

    3. sung to the tune of John Lennon’s Imagine.

      1. I was thinking something more Pete Seegerish, say Guantanamera.

        1. As long as it’s not Bob Seger. I can’t fucking stand that guy. Turn the Page my ball sack.

    4. 9 Promover la diversidad de culturas y econom?as
      Promoting diversity of cultures and economies — except for capitalism.

      FIFY

    5. So unicorns originate from Boliva? Huh.

      1. No, they were brought there by the imperialists.

  24. Political disagreements should not hinder environmental cooperation. Carbon molecules carry no passport. Rivers require no visa. Pollution travels with them.

    Here’s an idea. Enforce the pollution controls already in existence. See if that actually reduces pollution and we’ll talk again after the annual review. Oh, and let’s take a look at some data that wasn’t fudged.

    1. It would be a start to see if many of these LDC socialist utopias could get their deforestation rates down.

      It is ironic that Evo and Hugo preside, uh dictate, over nations whose major GDP contributors are mining and petroleum. A visit to any eco-website will inform you that these are not exactly enviro-friendly.

    2. Evo’s piece of South America is controlled politically by a giant union (miners) and coca growers.

      Truly, a narco-syndicalist nation.

    3. Wait a minute — carbon dioxide pollution is traveling by rivers now?

      1. Yes. In the lungs of frogs and turtles.

  25. Cuba, a country viciously blockaded by the mightiest world power, with limited resources has implemented a real energy revolution that has enabled it to considerably reduce its emissions of carbon dioxide. ? Esteban Lazo, Vice President of the Council of State of Cuba

    So that’s what they call their constant blackouts and brownouts?

    1. I figured it was all those bicycles there socialist brothers in China have donated to El Jefe (when the Chinese upgraded to cars, they had all these bicycles lying around).

    2. Prostitution is a green job. Well, sorta. When STDs are involved.

      Cuba has lotsa that.

    3. “Blockade” is an exaggeration obviously, but this is another result of our idiotic embargo on Cuba: it gives the kleptocrats in charge there an excuse.

  26. This agreement can lead to the eradication of global poverty through the real distribution of wealth to developing countries. This deal can protect our environment, and preserve our rainforests and the biodiversity that they contain. This deal will finally protect our planet and its species from the ravages of climate change. — John Gormley, Environment, Heritage and Local Government Minister of Ireland

    Been lost in that cave for a long time, huh?

    1. The Irish are green by default. Couldn’t help himself.

  27. Chavez got a standing ovation.

    1. He should have gotten a back full of shiv and an ass full of cum.

      1. at the same time?

  28. Cuba, a country viciously blockaded by the mightiest world power, with limited resources has implemented a real energy revolution that has enabled it to considerably reduce its emissions of carbon dioxide. ? Esteban Lazo, Vice President of the Council of State of Cuba

    I don’t think that word means what you think it does. Actually, I’m sure of it.

    1. He was reminiscing about the missile crisis.

  29. Stefan: And nobody protested?

    Sarah: Of course there was protest! Masses of angry people came from all of Europe, and also from far away countries, to Copenhagen, to voice their protest, and call for immediate and radical measures, such as a reduction of emissions by 40% till 2020 (we should have asked for 80%!). Among the people supporting these measures, there were some ? I was one of them! ? who called themselves ecosocialists.

    Word of the Day: ecosocialist

    1. ecosocialist

      AKA watermelons. Green on the outside, red on the inside.

  30. Stefan: Did you get hit, grandmother?

    Sarah: Oh yes! I was hit by a cop with a rubber truncheon, and my left ear was almost cut. Look, I still have a mark here, under my hair?

  31. “Ethiopian Prime Minister Meles Zenawi ? who is representing all of Africa here ? unveiled his proposal Wednesday for a system in which rich countries would provide money to poor ones to help deal with the effects of climate change. …

    “Zenawi said he would accept $30 billion in the short term, rising to $100 billion by 2020. … This was seen as a key concession by developing countries, which had previously spurned that figure … as too low.”

    There was a time when a U.S. diplomat would have burst out laughing after listening to a Third World con artist like this.

    But not the Obamaites. They are already ponying up.

    Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack just pledged $1 billion at Copenhagen to developing countries who preserve their forests. Thus, America, $12 trillion in debt and facing a second straight $1.4 trillion deficit, will borrow another $1 billion from China to send to Brazil to bribe them to stop cutting down their trees.

    Excerpt from “Shakedown at Copenhagen” by Patrick Buchanan

    http://www.lewrockwell.com/buchanan/buchanan124.html

    1. Actually, Africa does have rainforest that is being disappeared like it is in Brazil.

      But subsistence slash-and-burn agriculture is much more eco-friendly than petroleum-based farming. Furthermore, wood fires are much more efficient than powergrid dependent cooktops. That’s the consensus anyway.

    2. “Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack just pledged $1 billion at Copenhagen to developing countries who preserve their forests.”

      I had no idea Vilsack was a billionaire. And a very generous one at that!

    3. Is there anything stopping developed countries just buying up the rain forests?
      or even whole countries?
      Somalia couldn’t cost much. I quite fancy competing for them in the winter olympics.

  32. “This agreement can lead to the eradication of global poverty through the real distribution of wealth to developing countries. This deal can protect our environment, and preserve our rainforests and the biodiversity that they contain. This deal will finally protect our planet and its species from the ravages of climate change. — John Gormley, Environment, Heritage and Local Government Minister of Ireland”

    Fuck you you leprechaun raping faggot.

  33. Suppose AGW were real. And obviously the comments of those speakers are, and so are the people who applaud to them.

    SO does the choice become between (a) planet-doomed-by-warming and (b) planet-saved-by-socialism?

    I’d vote for (a) right away.

  34. Cuba, a country viciously blockaded by the mightiest world power, with limited resources has implemented a real energy revolution that has enabled it to considerably reduce its emissions of carbon dioxide. ? Esteban Lazo, Vice President of the Council of State of Cuba

    So all I need to do to end AGW is blockade the other countries in the world? Done!

  35. Venezuela’s Chavez ‘Still’ Smells Sulfur After Obama Speech…

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580503,00.html

    You’d think at some point someone would remind him that he who smelt it, dealt it.

  36. The fault lies with the capitalists, with capitalism?.Capitalism is the way to the destruction of the planet. ? Hugo Chavez, [Democratically elected and totally way legit]President of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela

    Fixed.

  37. ? Hugo Chavez, President of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela

    ? Evo Morales, President of the Plurinational State of Bolivia

    Shouldn’t that be “the Venezuelarian State of Bolivia”?

  38. I admire the way that Chavez and now Evo Morales have managed to make the previous massively corrupt kleptocracies that used to rule their countries seem respectable.
    a bit like stalin made the tsars not seem too bad.

    1. Yep, there is just something overpoweringly hip about being Marxist and Latin and being the head of an ecofantastic cloudforested state.

      If Che could have only stayed alive…sigh.

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