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Culture

Imperial Eukaryotes

Jesse Walker | 11.20.2009 3:52 PM

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Friday fun link: watch four maritime empires grow and decline.

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Books Editor Jesse Walker is the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. Muttley   15 years ago

    I think they forgot Ireland.

  2. Jozef   15 years ago

    India should've been a much larger bubble than either Canada or Australia.

    1. J sub D   15 years ago

      Only if they did it by population. By land area ...

      1. Jozef   15 years ago

        I was more thinking of economic benefit to the empire. Of course, I'm probably wrong - don't know how much Australia or Canada contributed to the British economy back in the first half of the 20th century.

        1. yet another dave   15 years ago

          not much seeing as Canada became independent in 1867 although Canada did provide over 60,000 dead bodies by 1918, was that for england... or france I always get that confused?

        2. Aresen   15 years ago

          One of the points Lord Durham made in his report in 1837 was that governing Canada cost the British Treasury about 20 times what the revenues were.

          Granting self-government was his second recommendation.

          His first was to turn Canada over to the US.

          1. yet another dave   15 years ago

            lucky for you guys you didn't get us, You did manage to get stuck with Alaska though I heard a very wise American once say that you can see Russia from there

            1. Aresen   15 years ago

              y - a - d

              I live in Victoria.

              1. yet another dave   15 years ago

                ah, not still lamenting being dumped by the British and getting stuck with us redneck hayseed are you?

          2. yet another dave   15 years ago

            yea well it only cost the Canadian treasury 10 times what it brings in in revenues....

            1. Aresen   15 years ago

              I should be glad the Americans were too smart to take us.

              Otherwise, I would have been wading through rice paddies in the Mekong Delta ca. 1970.

  3. JW   15 years ago

    Did I miss Mexico's pustule burst off?

    1. Syd Henderson   15 years ago

      Mexico splits off around 1821 as "Mexican Empire."

      Why do South Africa and Canada split off around 1930?

      1. Aresen   15 years ago

        Canada and South Africa were technically self-governing colonies until the Statute of Westminister in 1931.

  4. ev   15 years ago

    Is my computer messed or was there just no sound? I would enjoyed hearing bubbles burst or some similar noise; the bigger the bubble the louder the burst.

    1. sage   15 years ago

      Is my computer messed

      Check its diaper.

      But be sure to click the "HD." Four colored circles look fuckin' awesome like that!

  5. Paul   15 years ago

    I watched the video through an RDP connection, why did they start at 1800? I'd have been curious to see how large (or small) a bubble the U.S. would have been off Britain.

  6. Frayed Knot   15 years ago

    They also left off the Louisiana Purchase.

    1. Jesse Walker   15 years ago

      Haiti, too!

  7. Tim   15 years ago

    It would we interesting if they also included the US, Russia/Soviet Union/Russia, China and Japan as well.

  8. Aresen   15 years ago

    I'm still not clear what the schematic represents, I think it is land area, but, if so, they should have included Prussia/Germany, the Netherlands and Italy.

  9. peachy   15 years ago

    Germany would have been fun - a rapid expansion (assuming we're doing something like land area rather than population or revenue) and then an abrupt and complete deflation.

    1. Aresen   15 years ago

      Twice.

      1. 2999   15 years ago

        The second empire wasn't a maritime empire.(The first empire had shit-tons of Africa colonies.)

        1. Aresen   15 years ago

          Would you have wanted to cross the North Atlantic by ship in May of 1942?

  10. eh   15 years ago

    Missing the dutch empire. and I had no idea the french overseas territories were more numerous than the other people. Poor Spain though, their laziness really fucked them over.

    1. Aresen   15 years ago

      Spain was not lazy. It was the fact that Spain's empire was purely extractive rather than mercantile.

      Unlike the British aristocracy, the Spanish aristocracy refused to engage in commerce.

  11. monolith   15 years ago

    I think the portuguese had a saying that went roughly

    The British after praying to their God slaughtered the natives.
    The Portuguese after a slight nod to their God slept with them.

  12. Reasonsjester   15 years ago

    This appears to me to be more an illustration of de-colonization rather than growth and decline of empire. I did not detect the inflation of an empire's strength due to relative increase in national capabilities, nor the effects of wars (Franco-Prussian War, 1871, e.g.) on the balance of power between these four empires.

  13. Dish of the Day   15 years ago

    Does the "British" blob remind anyone else of Mr. Creosote?

  14. Lord Jubjub   15 years ago

    Wouldn't the U.S. blob have pretty much filled the screen at about 1990?

    1. 2999   15 years ago

      Yep. Someone once told me that there are 5 truly sovereign countries. United States, China, Russia, North Korea, and Iran.

  15. sage   15 years ago

    Around 1921 Britain grows a hemmorhoid named Egypt. That thing still needs a big glob of Prep H.

  16. hmm   15 years ago

    nice find

  17. Art-P.O.G.   15 years ago

    Very cool.

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