Yes, We Have Reached Our Goal of 500 New Donors, You Glorious Sons and Daughters of Bitches! Now Fill the Goddamn Torch With The Fire of Liberty Because We're Committed Through The End of The Week!

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Holey Macaroley, you went and did it, you damn dirty bastards! You came through in spades and donated to our webathon/blegathon/begathon in record numbers with record speed so that we hit our initial goal of 500 new donors to Reason Foundation, the nonprofit that makes Reason mag, Reason.com, and Reason.tv possible.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Now fill up the goddamned torch in the upper righthand corner with fire (fire! fire!). We, meaning you, me, Matt Welch, and all the rest are modern-day Prometheuses (Promethei?) stealing power and fire from the gods.

Realize this: We are in the fight of our lives. After nearly a decade of horrible rule by a small-gov't Republican who spent money like a drunken sailor, we now have a president and Congress that is hell-bent on spending us all into bankruptcy and stupidity. Even paying for stuff in nonexistent Congressional districts, for god's sake.

In all of its iterations, Reason stands for smaller government, lower taxes, less regulation, and MORE FREEDOM. You should be allowed to eat what you want, marry whom you want, smoke what you want. Say what you want. We shouldn't be paying Citigroup or GM or Hamid Karzai bazillions of dollars from your purse to screw us all with rotten service, bad cars, and laws that legalize the rape of women. We should be doing what it takes to allow Americans of all backgrounds to live here, work here, and thrive here.

Our arguments are sound and they're convincing. Give us the resources and we'll carry that torch, that goddamned torch that is barely full with fire but will be blazing bright come Friday, through every stinking hellhole of a congressional district or what-have-you across America. We'll tell folks how they can move forward rather than fall behind. We're bringing the message of "Free Minds and Free Markets" and, you know what? In the 21st century, two decades after the collapse of communism and the top-down-knows-it-all-mentality, it's a pretty easy sell.

So give now, and give again.  It's tax deductible. It's effective. It's cool. Depending on how much you give, you might get a bumper sticker, or a book, or a mag subscription, or more. We are like the thriftiest organization known to mankind. It's all up here on the screen! So give now, and give again. And here's a video or two or three worth watching:

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  1. Realize this: We are in the fight of our lives. After nearly a decade of horrible rule by a small-gov’t Republican who spent money like a drunken sailor, we now have a president and Congress that is hell-bent on spending us all into bankruptcy and stupidity. Even paying for stuff in nonexistent Congressional districts, for god’s sake.

    So that’s why all you cosmotarians endorsed/voted for Obama.

    $$$$$$

    1. reason is a nonexistent Congressional district? This explains much.

  2. I feel so used.

  3. I noticed earlier in the day that the grey part kept filling up and being knocked back to about 90%. Did it take you guys that long to come up with the “light the torch” thing? I figured you’d just keep changing the span of the grey bar until the week was up.

  4. It was a trick! Goddamnit!

    Hey man, back off. I just re-upped my sub for 3 years. Now beat it and get off my lawn before I sic the Watchtower ladies on you.

  5. Is 25 bucks enough for you people!? Cheap bastards! 😛

  6. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

    It was really nothing, but you’re welcome.

  7. You greedy bloodsuckers won’t stop until you’ve bled us all dry.

  8. So has the Kochtopus rescinded its threat to use the car battery with the wet sponges on you and Matt, now that you’ve pulled in the necessary dough?

    1. Cocktopus…I think I saw them open for the Genitorturers once.

  9. anyone who gives money to the “Reason” foundation will be tracked down and dealt with.

    1. I hope you are the one that shows up at people’s doors.

      They won’t even have to waste ammo…your face is what the rifle butt was made for.

  10. Realize this: We are in the fight of our lives.

    I like it. Have you been watching old Dr Gene Scott tapes, Nick? 😉

  11. Legalize the rape of women?!? WTF?!

    1. The last link in this post
      https://reason.com/blog/2009/10…..-fcc-folli

      As I said at the time, it’s a rather tendetious characterization

  12. Hey Nick, glorious bitches contributed, too!

  13. And after we turn that flame to red you’ll ask us to turn the torch to gold – right? And then we’ll be asked to color the arm – no? 😉

  14. All right, Doherty, your book better be good, you goddamned son of a bitch. Hey, this is fun!

  15. “We are like the thriftiest organization known to mankind.”

    All those books behind Gillespie can’t be cheap.

  16. We are like the thriftiest organization known to mankind.

    HEY! Is that a new leather jacket?

  17. Fire good!

    It works burn communist witches.

  18. $4000 and you get the kinds of benefits that Matt can’t say on television…

    WTF!?!!?

    Its the internet!!!

  19. Wait….what do i need to give to get one of those coveted black reason t-shirts?

  20. I laugh when I see believers in the “free market” begging on the Internet.

    1. I luagh even harder when I see leftist trolls feebly scrabble at what little original thought they have to understand what a “market” is.

  21. Yeah, shouldn’t they be paying off a couple Senators in exchange for a Reason surcharge on your phone bill or something…?

  22. Don’t thank us. Thank Lobstergirl!

  23. We are like the thriftiest organization known to mankind.

    Interesting choice of words there. We’re not claiming we are the thriftiest. We’re merely like the thriftiest … in some unspecified way, not necessarily having anything to do with being thrifty.

    I see your game, Reason.

    1. They’re, like Lady GaGa, totally reinventing themselves as the most thrift-loving organization ever.
      So, like, totally postpostmodern?

      1. SO TOTALLY!

  24. Reason stands for smaller government, lower taxes, less regulation, and MORE FREEDOM. You should be allowed to eat what you want, marry whom you want, smoke what you want. Say what you want.

    All true enough. But are things better or worse since Reason’s first published issue?

  25. OK, I’m in for $25 and I hope a few bucks of that goes to buy a drink for whoever wrote that headline.

  26. All those books behind Gillespie can’t be cheap.

    Naw, all those book spines are actually a cardboard facade.

  27. I laugh when I see believers in the “free market” begging on the Internet.

    Then don’t donate. There! Market freedom.

  28. Yeah, yeah hooray and everything.

    NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS LOBSTERGIRL???!!11!!
    LET HER GO, YOU SADISTIC BASTARD.

  29. I’ll donate again if Nick will just admit that Reason doesn’t make a nickel’s worth of difference in the American political landscape. Seriously, libertarian ideas are excellent… and almost entirely wasted on an electorate divided into two halves, both of which who want to use government like a oversized strap on on the other.

  30. OK, so what does it take to turn the torch orange?

  31. ……..Must fight urge to donate again just to put “Constant Begging” in the supported by banner.

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