Reason Morning Links: UN Pulls Staff From Afghanistan, American Officials Convicted in Italy, Cash for Clunkers Post-Mortem

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  1. U.N. pulls half its international staff out of Afghanistan after attack that left five workers dead.

    So how do we get the rest of them out of the USA?

  2. Most common cash for clunkers trade was old pick-up trucks for new ones with only marginally better gas mileage.

    In related WWJD news, He would prefer an Isuzu pickup.

    1. What, no picture?

      1. Sorry, check that first related article at the bottom of the page. The image does look a lot like the convict that was used as the model for the most common Jesus image. Not sure how much resolution they have gotten from the Shroud of Turin yet. Your perception may vary.

        1. Got it. Looks more like Charlie Manson to me. But then again, I’m biased.

          1. All those convicts seem to look the same after a few years.

    2. so somebody drawed a pitcher of the Jesus on his windhur with anti-fog stuff and it “miraculously” appears ever mornin. It ain’t like it showed up on a grilled cheese samich.

      1. If I ever made a Jesus template for a toaster I would keep it a secret and become a gillionaire on eBay.

        1. What’s a gillionaire? Someone who has a lot of dead fish?

  3. From TFA:

    Murray asserts that the primary motivation for US and British military involvement in central Asia has to do with large natural gas deposits in Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. As evidence, he points to the plans to build a natural gas pipeline through Afghanistan that would allow Western oil companies to avoid Russia and Iran when transporting natural gas out of the region.

    You guys, they’re torturing people and building a pipeline. The connection cannot be more obvious. No blood for natural gas!

    1. Wasn’t that the plot from a James Bond movie, Pierce Brosnan vintage? Hasn’t Noam Chomsky been shouting about this since before WWII?

      1. That Nobel and Pulitzer deserving Uber-documentarian Michael Moore gave it some discussion in Fahrenheit 911 IIRC.

  4. Speaking of rendition, former U.K. ambassador says CIA sent suspects to Uzbekistan to be “raped with broken bottles,” among other atrocities.

    STEVE HURRIEDLY UPDATING RESUME.

    1. List “in charge of glass recycling” as an accomplishment.

  5. Italian court convicts 23 Americans in the abduction and rendition of a Muslim cleric.

    Oh man I would love to see people get some jail time for this.

  6. And just who do you think was doing that Uzbek wet work? 😉

  7. Hold on to your hats, girls and boys. While everyone is occupied by health care reform and cap and trade (chuck and duck), there’s some real finagling goin’s on in the Congress.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..26787.html

    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..bs=article

    1. Thanks, TP.

      Say, why don’t we just play musical chairs with the entire country and be done with it?

      1. Yeah, right? I’ve always felt that there’s a natural banking cycle where larger firms buy out smaller firms, get too big, fail (or divest), and new start ups emerge. Unfortunately, too much emphasis has been placed on keeping the big banks afloat, and allowing them to over-leverage, and pumping them up with cheap money, in recent years. By imposing new regulations on the big banks, and exempting the small ones is a way to allow the small ones to catch up. It’s really a shitty way to do it, but the damage has already been done.

        I really can’t quite figure the logic of Dodd’s plan, though. Take power away from the Fed and FDIC and give it to an entirely new agency? I think just giving the FDIC the authority to wind down the systemically connected institutions, and a complete GAO audit of the Fed will suffice.

        1. a complete GAO audit of the Fed

          You’ll have to take that up with Mel Watt.

          1. I’d like to take my foot up his ass!

  8. Sorry for the threadjack, but it is a sorta open thread. George Will has a great column today about the referendum in Washington state to force disclosure of petitioners on the gay marriage referendum and other petitions. (I’m ‘tarded this morning so you gotta find it yourself.)

      1. Is that the best picture of Will they could find?

        1. He’s a handsome man!

          1. Bright too.

      2. I am not lazy. I am a conservative democrat. (energy conservation is important)

        1. No, you’re a consummate socialist. You knew someone else would do your work for you if you just waited long enough.

          Parasite.

      3. I thought the reason people signed petitions is because they want their name associated with the statement on the petition, regardless if it’s for a referendum, a political candidate, or a complaint to a Landlord. There’s absolutely no expectation of privacy, for the simple fact that, the next person that is asked to sign the petition will see all of the names already on the list. If someone doesn’t feel strongly enough about a statement on a petition, any petition, to have their name associated with that statement, then they shouldn’t sign the petition. That’s what makes a petition such a valuable tool. That’s just my opinion.

        I don’t see how comparing signatures on a petition to a membership list of a private group is the same.

        1. And since whenever you’re walking around outside of your own property, it’s possible for a cop to see you, there is no problem with cops following you around and watching you 24/7.

          Also, if you’re talking on your cell phone walking down the street, it’s possible that an NSA operative is going to hear what you’re saying. So there’s nothing wrong with the NSA eavesdropping on phone conversations.

          etc, etc, etc.

      4. Thanks.

        Progressive Liberals, please repeat after me: “Today you, tomorrow me.”

  9. Thats good dude, I dont see what we are doing in Afghanistan in the first place. Who cares what they do.

    RT
    http://www.private-web.se.tc

    1. Well shit. If anonymitybot is ending rhetorical questions with a period instead of a question mark, maybe I’m all turned around on the subject.

    2. A smack whore that cares not about Afghanistan? Are pigs flying today?

  10. Most common cash for clunkers trade was old pick-up trucks for new ones with only marginally better gas mileage.

    You know, anytime the feds are involved,it is like the Midas touch except everything the feds touch turns to shit. Really. This gaggle of idiots can’t do anything right. The coupons for analog to digital tv: fucked up. H1N1 flu shots : fucked up. Hurricane Katrina Response: Major fuck up. It is like the default position for the feds is incompetence.

    1. If you could only see me
      And know exactly who I am
      You wouldn’t want to be me
      Oh I can assure you of that
      I’m not the guy to run with
      ‘Cos I’ll throw you off the line
      I’ll break you and destroy you
      Given time
      He’s King Midas with a curse
      He’s King Midas in reverse
      He’s King Midas with a curse
      He’s King Midas in reverse

      1. I know what you mean.

  11. “Hey Mickey you’re so fine…”

    “Shut up, bitch.”

  12. Speaking of going off topic, what every happened to the threaded-comments revolt? I think I’m ready to join.

  13. And fuck Mickey Mouse. I’ve know since age two that Bugs Bunny could kick his ass any day of the week, and be ten times funnier doing it.

    1. You talkin’ to Minnie Me?

    2. Roadrunner could kick his ass too.

    3. The Bunny has always been greater than the Giant Rat.

  14. Speaking of going off topic, what every happened to the threaded-comments revolt? I think I’m ready to join.

    Join us, Comrade! Throw off the shackles of threaded comments, and return to the wild, disorderly rambunctiousness of yore.

    Chaos is Freedom.

    1. That just begs for some feministing input.

      1. Jezebel’s got it.

        But that may not be much a problem for them…

        i mentioned in my earlier comment that my man’s sex addiction was geared towards anonymous, mindless hookups to give BJs to other men. he spent tons of money on pay-by-the-minute phone lines, entrance into a gay men’s sex club, etc etc.

        1. (Suge, I hope you got warty’s okay before posting his story)

    2. It would seem most men are, too. At least, they are always getting rid of the stuff.

    3. FTA: The diagnosis is quite easy, Resnick says. “If you have burning and swelling with unprotected intercourse, but not with condoms, you may be allergic to your husband’s semen,” he explains.

      How do they know its the sperm? Maybe he had some skank suck him off and then he never cleaned up before dipping his wick in the wife. The skank could have eaten a peanut before she gobbled his nob and he transferred that to his peanute allergy suffering wife!

      Nah, no one would ever cheat on their wife.

  15. Ben, I’m glad you are smart enough to recognize the dangers of disclosure laws. Especially seeing the dangerous folks wielding power thesae days.

    Citizen N., join the reply boycott and just address your posts to who you’d reply to.

  16. John T., only if Mickey were wearing ACME-brand jet boots.

    Ahhhh. The sweet freedom of threadlessness!

    1. ACME does not exist in the Disney universe. FAIL!

  17. “The allergy can even start up following a period of abstinence, such as after pregnancy and childbirth”

    Do people still abstain during pregnancy? WTF!?

    1. some women do.

  18. “Join us, Comrade! Throw off the shackles of threaded comments, and return to the wild, disorderly rambunctiousness of yore. ”

    Word – I hate these fucking thread things.

  19. COYOTE: “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wile E. Coyote…Genius.”

    MICKEY M. starts to whistle a tune a la Steamboat Willie.

    The COYOTE grabs the MOUSE, bites off his head and drinks his fluids.

    FINIS

  20. “The COYOTE grabs the MOUSE, bites off his head and drinks his fluids.”

    Is he allergic to any of the fluids?

    1. No, but Disney fluids cause Warner characters to mutate, similar to the Marvel universe.

  21. The allergy can even start up following a period of abstinence, such as after pregnancy and childbirth marriage

    1. Scientists have discovered a food that lowers a womans libido by 90%.

      wedding cake.

      1. I hope you’re here all week.

  22. I really dont understand why a magazine dedicated to the idea that spontaneous organization is superior to imposed order would force us into threads. Matt Welch, just remember: Four legs good, Two legs Better!

    1. Is it just me or is there less trollery in the threaded comments? The threading just doesn’t give the trolls the center stage anymore and they seem to be falling off a bit. except me of course. It’s the sociopathic egalitarian bent in me.

  23. bb – I LIKED the trolls. I always thought the community kept them pretty well in line, and even used them for a fair amount of humor. often times the trolls started the best discussions.

  24. Aha, brotherb! Perhaps we should bait the trolls down the threaded path, leaving the main line clear for the rest.

  25. and yes, I am stubbornly refusing to thread.

  26. And the troll’s would still be around for domo’s amusement.

    1. The “troll’s” what, you might well ask. But I meant “trolls.”

      1. Troll’s wood, hehe, hehe.

  27. CN – everyone is here for my amusement. the sooner you people get that, the happier we will all be.

    1. Everyone here is a simulation. Except you and Warty.

  28. And threading one’s own comment, when one is basically talking to one’s self, is ok, I would think.

    1. And I was trying to thread my own comment above.

      1. Ok, CN. Just stop typing now.

  29. I didn’t dislike the trolls. They helped me feel less stupey. I just ain’t seeing them as much now. Some say feature. Some say bug.

  30. “And threading one’s own comment, when one is basically talking to one’s self, is ok, I would think.”

    God help us – we need the internet to talk to ourselves.

  31. The other problem with threads is that the levels of nesting possible is almost always going to be

  32. The other problem with threads is that the levels of nesting possible is almost always going to be much much less than needed to hold a substantial debate. So any real debate ends up essentially unthreaded (at the lowest possible level) but now its stuck somewhere in the middle of the page. Thats what I was trying to say before the server squirrel ate my comment because I used a special character instead of typing out the words “less than”. what a freaking joke.

    1. The server squirrel doesn’t like you dude. Anonymity guy gets away with

      1. Woah! The squirrel truncated my comment at the sign too. I now firmly suspect the squirrel is a Beano.

  33. Squirrels don’t do math (or math symbols), domo. Unless they’re specially trained police squirrels.

    1. I had a girfriend years ago whose squirrel could launch ping-pong balls for distance and accuracy.

  34. I myself find it a fuckton easier to follow several conversations at once than to scroll up and down a hundred fucking times a thread. I also have noticed that comment counts seem down quite a bit since this satanic threading was put in place.

  35. former U.K. ambassador says CIA sent suspects to Uzbekistan to be “raped with broken bottles,” among other atrocities.

    Okay, maybe the cynic is coming out today, but from a practical perspective, isn’t that kind of the point behind rendition? I’m not speaking to the moral or legal implications of rendition (torture is bad, mmkay?) but this is how it’s supposed to work. Otherwise, why rendition them? The only reason is to remove the detainee from the reach of American policy and culpability.

    You explain to captured bad guy he can either talk to the CIA now and stay in the comfort and convenience of American custody. Or, we can rendition him to the Egyptians/Russians/Uzbeks and they can do whatever they want to his dumb ass. Lo and behold, the other countries violate human rights with impunity once we rendition. Oh, so sorry, but it was those nasty foreigners. Our hands are pristine.

  36. How much do you want to bet that anonymity guy was covered in a cold sweat when he made his last post?

  37. The anti-spam measures are beginning to feel like security theater – they needlessly inconvenience legit commenters while doing nothing to stop the actual spammers. The squirrel must be ex-TSA.

  38. “I had a girfriend years ago whose squirrel could launch ping-pong balls for distance and accuracy. ”

    I think I met your girl in a bar in Patpong in Bangkok back in 2004, if you are saying what I think you are saying…

  39. easier explanation: anonimity bot is actually Matt Welch.

  40. domoarrigato, money well spent, wasn’t it?

  41. best evah…

  42. If I ever had to escape from the US and could never return, I would go to either Thailand or Brazil.

  43. Worthy of our esteemed editors consideration, a take down of a recent 60 minutes piece devoted toward spreading MPAA propaganda through the lying mouth of director Man-Bitch Soderbergh.

    60 Minutes Puts Forth Laughable, Factually Incorrect MPAA Propaganda On Movie Piracy

    http://techdirt.com/articles/2…..6751.shtml

    I caught the tail end of this segment while flipping through football games, when Soderbergh, stated that because of piracy, The Matrix would not be able to be made today, I about fell out of my chair at the bold face lie.

    May his flesh be devoured by Shub-Niggurath, Cthulhu be praised.

    *BTW, now the Squirrel has simplified linkies, and old fashioned manual html doesn’t work anymore (grumble, grumble), how do you get links with mouse over text to work once more?

      1. Who is impersonating SugarFree? That link works.

  44. I’ll give it another try

    Funny, when the site changed form, I tried some of the old html tricks to see if they were still working, and this was one that failed.

    Good to know the squirrel fixed whatever the problem may have been. I see it now corrected in the preview.

  45. If Reason doesn’t dethread the comments, I’m going to ask my dipshit congressman to introduce a bill banning them (threaded comments) from the internet. Is that what you want, Reason?! Libertarians going all statist on your ass?!

    1. What makes you think they are using an American-based squirrel? If it is in Sealand, with their secret load of gold and brandy then the Secret Service won’t touch them.

  46. The anti-spam measures are beginning to feel like security theater – they needlessly inconvenience legit commenters while doing nothing to stop the actual spammers. The squirrel must be ex-TSA.

    Bergholt Stuttley Johnson,

    You speak wisely. That’s exactly what it feels like. It’s not like Hit & Run was completely overrun by spammers, nor did we seem to have difficulty communicating sequentially.

    Maybe an alternative would be for there to be clickable tags that commenters without basic HTML skills could use to blockquote and otherwise handle previous comments.

    Adnotatiunculae bilicis delenda est.

  47. Here’s an idea…just go back to the old way that everyone liked. It worked regardless of browser, there were no html issues like we constantly have now, and we none of us give a shit if you have server issues.

  48. Newsweek owes Daniel Dennett a huge fucking apology. Did you see who they have on the cover with the title caption Think Man’s Thinking Man?

    There are about a billion people on the planet I would have to consider before getting to that C student loser.

  49. Add an -ing to the ending on the first ‘Think’, sport.

  50. I don’t see why it’s such a stretch for Mickey to be a little less pussyfied. Even as late as 1989 when Who Framed Roger Rabbit? came out, he and Bugs were being a pain in the ass for Eddie Valiant. The only reason they need to be careful in my opinion is because he’s only really seen these days at the theme parks and on a pre-schooler show. If they expand his work, they need to keep that in mind.

  51. Disney is getting desperate, trying to recapture that old magic. Can Mickey porn be that far away?

  52. It won’t be long before Minnie is shown in rape-fetish material, and then Mickey’ll be tagging Daisy and Donald will come in and kill him. It’s only a matter of time.

    1. Mickey goes Apeshit? Horrible ripoff of a classic.

  53. I bet Steve Chapman was in favor of threading…he is a real communist ahole

  54. That Epic Mickey game, despite its stupid title, actually sounds pretty cool. A twisted version of It’s a Small World? Nifty!

  55. Trading a 14 mpg truck for a 17 mpg truck is a 21% improvements in mileage.

    How is that not consistent with the goals of the program?

  56. HAH! The darker side of Mickey:

    “You don’t” (kick) “Fucking” (kick) “talk to me” (kick) “like that” (kick) “you little shit! Ha-hah! Get the fuck up, GET THE FUCK UP ha-hah!”

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