The Real Reason Newspapers of The Future Are Losing Readers? Rap Songs by Future Journos!


Over at Big Hollywood, Fox News' Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld treats readers to a discovery every bit as gruesome as a corpse on a CSI series:

The perps here are folks at Columbia University's Journalism School and to the extent this encapsulates anything about the mindset in contemporary media, it explains why people shun it like the plague.

As Gutfeld writes:

No surprise: the student raps benign pap that his professors and like-minded dorm-rats would applaud – from railing against complacency, to never losing touch with "his humanity." But I'll repeat the part the kid really wanted them to hear:

"There's no need to hear crazy, or create a false sense of parity, like Fox News and Hannity."

And that's the big point: That when applying for a job, the student knows to regurgitate the shared assumptions of the elitists around him. In short, if you bash Fox News, you might land an unpaid internship at Mother Jones.

That still exists, right?

Now, it wasn't a bad rhyme, but it was a bad idea – emboldened by the present comfort of conformity and driven by the need to prove to those hiring that the applicant holds the "right beliefs." It's silly and stupid, but also sad: these beliefs are cemented even before they enter a paying newsroom.

And what's the crux of these beliefs?

That Fox News is evil.

Which to me, is pretty cool. I like being considered evil – especially when those doing the considering are sheep who can't rap.

And if you disagree, then you're probably racist.

More here.

NEXT: 'The Last Gasp of the Dinosaurs'

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  1. If he had found a way to work in Network 23 as evil instead, there might be hope for him yet.

    1. CNN, the network with a greaaat future behind it. As they say when you’re buying suppositories; with friends like those, who needs enemas?

      If Fox has a reputation for evil, more power to it; that has to be preferable to the reputation any other network’s got right now.

  2. This is the most racist thing Nick has posted all day.

  3. Fox News is propaganda of the right, just as MSNBC is propaganda of the left. I get my news from the Enquirer

      1. In Fluffya, it’s the Inquirer, with an I.

        (That still exists, right?)

    1. What’s even more hilarious, sad, and disturbing than the video is the fact that the way to undercut those punks and the older punks in the MSM is right in front of everyone’s noses yet few are able to recognize it.

      Hint: it’s the big square in the middle of this post.

      The way to undercut the MSM and the rest is to do the job the MSM refuses to do, then upload it to video sites. And, the main job the MSM refuses to do is to ask politicians tough questions. A video of a politician being asked the things the MSM refuses to ask could get hundreds of thousands or millions of views and would “disintermediate” the MSM and make them look bad.

      Yet, for some reason, no one else can figure that out.

      P.S. In case anyone replies to this, their responses will almost assuredly be ad homs, thereby conceding my points and showing the childish, anti-intellectual nature of libertarians. Dozens of comments here have shown that the phrase “fascist libertarian” isn’t an oxymoron.

      1. Shut the fuck up, Lonewacko.

      2. It’s been, what, more than a year since you started flogging this idea? Surely long enough for you to get off your ass and provide a proof-of-concept, an example of you asking a politician “tough, prosecutor-style questions” that gets posted to YouTube and goes viral.

  4. Worse than the rap was the depressing sight of a room full of wholly unfuckable twentysomethings. I refuse to believe that my First Amendment rights depend on a group of people rapping sincerely about integrity and incapable of getting laid- but I repeat myself.

    1. I am sure you’re no looker. At least, we have brains.

  5. Fuckable is in the eye of the beholder, Dagny. For instance, i’m sure Warty would have a blast bending most of those j-schoolers in half for a few hours.

  6. Incorrect, X. The only-ONLY-thing that turns Warty off is bad rapping skillz, which, because of your ‘Lil Kevin mad rhymes, makes him a terrific danger to your butthole. I’d suggest a restraining order but he eats those for second breakfast.

  7. I pledge to work expediently.

  8. Strangely, however, Warty bent Vanilla Ice over for a few hours several times. I don’t know what to make of that. Sure, Gerardo, I understood when Warty bent him over, because he sort of looks like a chick, and his one song was catchy. But Van Winkle?

  9. But Van Winkle?

    Reminiscent of the quality prison break he bare backed during an extended stay in Turkey, that is all that was about.

  10. I feel the need to declare that although I’m a journalist, I never set foot in a J-school. That is all.

    1. That makes you a reporter, not a journalist.


  11. quality prison break

    I mean, prison beak. As in Chicken Hawk of the non neocon sort.

    Chickenhawk (gay slang) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    A chickenhawk or chicken hawk is slang used in American and British gay culture to denote older males who prefer younger … Chicken Hawk: An older gay male that seeks out Chickens.

  12. Xeones will be fine. He has retard strength to defend against Warty’s advances.

  13. Xeones will be fine. He has retard strength to defend against Warty’s advances.

    Warty gives him cake and while Xeones mouth and hands are distracted, his butthole is left shaking in the wind undefended. Retard strength is too easy to overcome. That is why Lex Luther always had a decent chance to pull off his many, many capers.

  14. But his drooling is quite a turnon, Dagny. You know that better than anyone.

  15. Oh, yeah:


  16. They all want cake, alan. Wilford Brimley was so very right.

  17. In addition to being a postmaster, I’m a general. And we both know, it’s the job of a general to, by God, get things done. So maybe you can understand why I get a little irritated when someone calls me away from my golf.

  18. ’tis be true, Epi. Woe be to he who is smitten with ‘tard anus lust who doesn’t at least have a twinkie to spare in his pockets.

  19. Tard Anus Lust would be a good name for a band.

    1. Good album name, mebbe. You’ve already committed to Morans Radiating.

    2. “Twinkie in My Pocket” would be a good album name for when your band starts going downhill.

  20. If lawyers are just wanna-be doctors who are afraid of blood, then journalists must be wanna-be Justin timberlakes without enough soul.

  21. Journalism is pretty much over & done.

    About all that’s left is Jerna-Lizzum.

    So it goes.

  22. My name’s Bob Woodward and I’m here to say
    Breakin’ into the Watergate ain’t okay!

  23. All I can think of is Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy.”

  24. pff! “White and Nerdy” had tight rhymes and amusement value. This is just mockable.

  25. Oh, fuck. I can’t believe I just wasted 3 minutes of my life watching something like this.

    What’s somewhat encouraging about this is that these are the same people who will STILL be writing the dumbfuckingest raps imaginable when they’re 48-years-old and objecting their future journalism students to them, who will then never take anything they say seriously again.

  26. Seriously, tho…

    whenever I’m at a social gathering with anyone from the “news” media I try to ask if they value a J-school credential in hiring and promotion, and if they do, why?

    Most do, and I have never once had anyone explain why that could withstand even 1 or 2 follow-up questions.

    I haven’t done the research but I would love if someone had the time to look at the number and level of J-school grads in various media companies and track that against viewership, readership, profit/loss, etc.

    Everyone blames Craigslist or liberal bias, but I suspect that there is an underlying cause as to why they make those mistakes and can’t respond with new strategies to overcome their problems– which is too many incompetent, ignorant, self-important, self-righteous, self-entitled J-school grads in positions to influence editorial content and more recently management decisions and even corporate strategy.

    Just thinking out loud…

  27. Marty–

    The problem is the “Woodward & Bernstein” syndrome, in which everyone wants to be a great “investigative” journalist. (The fact that even W&B didn’t unearth Watergate but had it handed to them on a platter by a leaker is irrelevant.) J-Schools teach very little actually. The experience is gotten at school newspapers and in internships. This is one of the many problems with J-School grads: they have to come already equipped with knowledge (math, science, logic, etc.) for they don’t receive any in school.

    A corollary to this is the zest for prizes. These are highly sought by students since they are nice resume-builders. But prize-style writing is often atrocious. You wind up with everyone trying to do the big tearjerker or great expose. But ultimately most of these pieces are rubbish and mere glorified anecdotes of misery, with no more import than a drunk falling down in the street. See any copy of the Chicago Tribune for the crap that prize-seeking yields.

    The bubble atmosphere, self-selection and so forth all allow this stuff to happen. There is no way out except for every newspaper to go bankrupt. They have to start fresh. The rot is too deep and calcified to be cleansed, even if J-Schools suddenly woke up and produced serious critical thinkers.

  28. I’m a journalist – have no journalism degree. The best journalist I ever worked with had an anthropology degree. Talking to my betters, either managers or reporters who made it big time, most say that a j-school degree is worthless. You are better off becoming an expert in a field of study (think environmental science, biology, economics) and using that background to work your way into a slot for a publication, such as reporting on the medical field, the EPA and so on.

    I never got my bachelors, learned on my feet and was promoted three times. I’m not working part time at a metro while going back to school to finish my four-year in something not related to journalism.

    Truth is, some manager’s use the degree as a way to weed out applicants, others don’t care – especially now, given the state of the industry. There are scant few schools – at least in my neck of the woods – where I saw a degree from their institution made a huge impact on the quality of work of their graduate. What you do get is a lot of groupthink, something clearly on display in the Columbia rap.

  29. A whole bunch of retarded fetuses.

  30. Good album name, mebbe. You’ve already committed to Morans Radiating.

    That’s my postrock project. Tard Anus Lust will be my novelty shock-metal act.

  31. JohnFN is exactly correct.

    Most journalists can’t do math, don’t understand science, medicine the law or economics. What DO they know? How to write a lead that doesn’t exceed 30 words. Sometimes.

  32. Riffing off JB, these are fFine candidates for 66th trimester terminations.

  33. I disagree with this post. “Hannity” is at best an approximate rhyme for “parity”.

    1. In the child’s defense, I think he was rhyming “Hannity” with “humanity.”

  34. We be hangin wit ma homies at Columbia feelin phat.

    J Schoool is where its at.

    We aint gonna be no capitalist tool.

    Like My Man Duranty, gonna get some o dat Pulitzer Bling, fool.

  35. Journalism is another contrived and useless degree just like gender studies and political science. They are nothing but news product stylists. Please, you can’t teach talent, curiosity and ethics.

    The vast majority of America’s best journalists had no professional training. Here’s a list of a few of the greats like Twain, H.L. Mencken, Ernie Pyle, Mike Royko, Murrow, Edna Buchanan….to make my point.

    A degree is journalism is an impediment to good journalism. It’s hack training. Even worse now, it’s working for the mindnumbing state sponsored lefty groupthink organs.

  36. I’ve been saying for a long time that we should get rid of J-schools and Education Majors. They both indoctrinate students with left-wing ideology and the subjects they teach correctly can be done with a minor.

  37. I wonder if the buggy-whip makers went thru such delusions before they were made useless?

  38. God, they’re just awful.

  39. This is why engineers disdain journalism as a major . . . four to five years and No Value Added.

  40. Fox News? They’re quasi-e-vil. They’re semi-e-vil. They’re the margarine of e-vil. They’re the Diet Coke of e-vil. Just one calorie, not e-vil enough.

  41. That rap was ACORN-Y. Hahahaha, I kill myself.

  42. I’ve gamely mounted a defense of the worst rap song in journalistic history here:…

  43. Wow… it was just a school project. Apparently, it really hit a cord. I think you guys are taking it a little too seriously…

  44. Yeah, we’re shunning the media all over the place, Nick. Jeez. What’s it like inside that bubble?

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