Religion

Scholar: Mormonism Made a Man Out of Glenn Beck

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From Alternet comes an improbable but entertaining pathologization of popular Fox talk show host Glenn Beck. According to San Jose State University professor Joanna Brooks, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints didn't just save Beck's soul. It changed his affect and sense of self in ways that can't be explained as the simple consequences of cutting out coffee:

"I was baptized on a Sunday, and on Monday"—Beck's throat tightens again; he wipes tears from his eyes with his index fingers—"an agent called me out of the blue." Three days later, Beck was offered his own political talk radio show at WFLA-AM in Tampa, Florida, the job that put him on the road from "morning zoo" radio prankster to conservative media heavyweight.

Spiritual narratives of the I-once-was-lost-now-I-am-financially-sound variety are commonplace within Mormonism, which, like most of American Protestantism, has never been allergic to wealth. The institutional culture of the Mormon Church is strongly corporate, down to the dark suits, white shirts, and red or blue ties church leaders wear instead of vestments; Mormonism's most powerful public figures like Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman Jr., and Bill Marriott Jr., come from the business world.

Did the hunktacular Nephi help Glenn Beck's sense of masculinity?

Treatments of this nature should always get the invidious-comparison rhetorical trick, so here goes: Imagine an article called "How Judaism Created Michael Savage," purporting to explain that fiery talker's odd behavior through reference to the weird folkways of his small yet influential religion. (The original version of the article merely claims the church "built" Beck.)

Brooks is conversant in the vocabulary of gender construction, and has some fun with Beck's febrile sentimentality, his apparently un-Mormon tendency to self-aggrandize, and what is generally agreed to be his creepiest or most endearing habit:

Finally, Beck's oft-ridiculed penchant for punctuating his tirades with tears is the hallmark of a distinctly Mormon mode of masculinity. As sociologist David Knowlton has written, "Mormonism praises the man who is able to shed tears as a manifestation of spirituality." Crying and choking up are understood by Mormons as manifestations of the Holy Spirit. For men at every rank of Mormon culture and visibility, appropriately-timed displays of tender emotion are displays of power.

I don't want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex. More power to Beck if he can make money while doing it in public, in defiance of durable and restrictive mainstream notions of manliness. And good on the LDS Church if it helped him to get there. The last time America wanted to see a grown man cry was during the Sensitive Guy trend of the 1970s, which predictably turned out to be just another cover for male self-indulgence.

I still think your notions about gender are largely formed by the time you have reached the age Beck was when he converted. He grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, whose wickedly delicious approach to masculinity makes salvation dependant in part on showing extraordinary deference to a man who wears a dress and lives in a "rectory" with other men. Make of that what you will.

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  1. A tear.

    1. Seriously, wouldn’t it be more effective for Reason to a) highlight some of the things Beck gets wrong at the same time as b) taking on some of the folks that large numbers of people can agree aren’t the good folks?

      Instead, why does Reason have to Suck.com so much? Why can’t Reason do things that are effective and that could win broad support?

      For instance, here’s a chance to make the ACLU look bad. Sure, they do some good things every once in a while. But, they’re mostly the “other side” to most of us here. Why doesn’t Reason – for instance – use what influence they have to encourage people to go make those points to them in order to keep them in check? Wouldn’t that be a better use of resources?

      P.S. In case anyone replies to this, their responses will almost assuredly be ad homs, thereby conceding my points and showing the childish, anti-intellectual nature of libertarians. Dozens of comments here have shown that the phrase “fascist libertarian” isn’t an oxymoron.

      1. LW, instead, we’ll simply point out the utter irrelevance of whatever you post to the point at hand. The fact that you never are relevant and always try to threadjack demonstrates whatever ad hominem attacks we might want to mount far better than the attacks themselves would.

      2. Now why on earth would a libertarian magazine want to undermine the largest defender of civil liberties in the country?

    2. “Spiritual narratives of the I-once-was-lost-now-I-am-financially-sound variety are commonplace within Mormonism, which, like most of American Protestantism, has never been allergic to wealth.”

      Unlike Jews and Catholics who simply abhor wealth. Who writes this crap?

      Oh yeah.

      1. There is actually something to this statement, even if you don’t recognize it. Calvinism, which was the basis for American-style Protestantism, saw wealth as proof of election, because God blessed the elect as a sign of their salvation. Neither Judaism nor Catholicism ever had a systematic theological basis to justify the accumulation of wealth, and Catholicism has had a deeply ascetic strain that views wealth with a kind of suspicion that Protestantism has lacked (hence the easy alliance of loose Marxism and Catholicism in Latin America). Jews, on the other hand, have never had a systematic basis for equating wealth with salvation, treating it as a more neutral condition of one’s life.

        So that “crap” you take issue with is pretty well attesting in sociological, historical, and anthropological literate. If you want to take issue with some point in this so-called article, this isn’t it.

        Know something about what you’re writing before you ridicule others for getting it wrong.

        1. Uggh. literate -> literature

    3. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

      Does that include three-year-olds, pervert?

  2. Thank you for writing the most unexpected sentence I have read in a long while.

      1. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

        I almost died laughing… I guess I never knew what it was like to take it in the butt until fluffy died.

  3. reasonistas: is every half-baked psychoanalysis a pathologization?

    1. I believe so, yes. Do you have any examples that aren’t intended to marginalize the subject?

  4. Ummm… thanks for the link. I think.

  5. “crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex”? Nope, nothing crude about that. Are you kidding?

  6. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes”. You were doing so well up to that, then you just crapped your pants. Were those last two paragraphs the best way you could go there? Really? You almost had a real grown up article there…almost.

    1. That was my take too.

      It takes work to sound more smug and condescending than an Alternet writer, but apparently Cavanaugh’s up to the task.

      We all have our problems with Beck, but somebody just went full retard, so to speak.

    2. Tim should masturbate before he writes so less of his fantasies come through.

  7. “crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex”

    Chee-rist, Cavanaugh. I’ll take your word for it.

  8. The only new insight in this post is that Tim never had consensual anal sex.

    Seriously, I’ve never watched Beck, but, damn to say he only cries because got reamed or is an LDs, WTF?

    1. Well, Tim’s apparently never consensually BOTTOMED. We don’t know his thoughts on the masculinity of being on the other side…

      Along the same lines, I’m a little surprised that the man who a few days ago was talking up the manliness of wanting to cross-dress seems to take issue with men who cry.

      I’m sensing a gender identity crisis. NTTAWWT.

  9. I’m not sure I understand why people are so fascinated by this Beck person.

    1. I don’t know about fascination, but it seems he’s one of the only guys out there willing to poke the Administration in the eye. Good on him for that. He’s putting the proof to what a lot people suspect.

      1. Are you kidding? I can count the number of guys on FOX that don’t poke the administration three time in every sentence they utter on no hands

        1. Another idiot who obviously doesn’t watch Fox, but spews the leftist line about it anyway. Beck and Hannity are hard on Obama. Most of the other folks on that network are much more even handed than the pro-Obama cheerleaders on MSNBC or CNN.

    2. Because they have listened to his radio show. Seriously. You should try it some time. You do not need a special code to listen. All you need is an AM radio.

    3. I’m not sure I understand why people are so fascinated by this Beck person.

      Because he was the main person who got that scumbag Van Jones fired, which has made him Public Enemy #1 for every communist in the western world.

      1. The wingnuttery has certainly been turned up here lately.

        FOX news rots the brain. Seriously dude.

  10. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

    Wanting or not wanting to be a boor has never stopped you before.

  11. He didn’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but he was not unresponsive.

    1. FTW.

  12. Excellent gay baiting Tim.

    1. Do you mean gay ‘bating?

      1. *taps foot*

    2. Tim has mastered baiting

  13. “The Performance of Normativity:
    Mormons and the Construction of an American Masculinity”
    http://www.jmmsweb.org/issues/…../pp137-154

  14. Not that I’m into that lifestyle at all, nor want to get even more crude, but the penetrated partner in anal sex need not be passive.

  15. “but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

    On what planet?

  16. Comparing Beck’s theatrics to being a passive pillowbiter… nice, not sure I’d make the same analogy though… I won’t be able to watch Beck anymore without… ugh, nevermind must purge image from mind

    1. nice, not sure I’d make the same analogy though…

  17. this was certainly a…fascinating post? I don’t quite know what to make of it yet.

  18. Normally I like Cavanaugh, but his interpretation of the article is pretty bizarre. The article itself, from the description, seems pretty accurate in point of fact, although the interpretation of those facts would be a point of contention.

    Even if that the anal sex bit is supposed to be hyperbole (I assume it is, but if it’s not, then Tim has some issues it sounds like he needs to deal with), I’m not sure what his point is supposed to be or what it’s supposed to add to the discussion.

  19. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    Tim,

    That’s the stupidest sentence I’ve ever read on Reason.com .

    1. Even before Joe left?

      1. I should have been more careful in responding to that. I regard the specific sentence that Tim wrote and I ref’d as a mistake.

  20. Harry Reid is a Mormon. Are his more annoying qualities a result of his conversion?

    “Mormonism praises the man who is able to shed tears as a manifestation of spirituality.” Crying and choking up are understood by Mormons as manifestations of the Holy Spirit.

    I’m Mormon, and I just find that annoying. Whether it be fron Glenn Beck or anyone else. There is blubbering, and then there is showing emotion to adequately convey the importance of a principle.

    1. Nice name. FYI the extra m does not make you superior to the two m version.

      (that is sarcasm)

      1. Does having one less m make me superior?

  21. Tim,
    That sentence was more than funny it was layers of juicy metaphendo. With a cool dry wit like that…

  22. I Did Blow, I Did Indeed Blow 40 Feet From Obama!

  23. You know, most commenters used to get random Cavanaugh humour before we got threaded comments.

    Adnotatiunculae bilicis delenda est!

  24. I lovingly mock you noble lords
    We all dress up to grand awards –
    I do that as well.

    I dare condemn your fashion sense
    At least you’re not astride a fence
    That would not sell.

    But I will deliver this address:
    Your soul’s condition don’t impress,
    You, a man, in a purple dress
    A man in a purple dress

  25. The institutional culture of the Mormon Church is strongly corporate, down to the dark suits, white shirts, and red or blue ties church leaders wear instead of vestments

    Not sure where this “red or blue ties” rubbish is coming from — certainly not from someone whose ever watched an actual General Conference — a pic of the prior First Presidency (the top leaders of the Mormon Church):

    http://www.oneil.com.au/lds/pi…..idency.jpg

    Now, if Tim had said “subdued and corporate looking ties”, then sure.

    1. Dude, the colours on all those ties are either reds or blues.

      1. That may be, but they aren’t the corporate “power ties” that phrase seemed to evoke. If anything, out of the top echelon, Mormon leaders seem to have a penchant for tacky novelty ties…

  26. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    For someone who doesn’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, you sure got to one right quick in the same sentence — and one about as disconnected from the reality of the homophobic Mormon Church as humanly possible.

    And, having seen Mormon men and women at close range for several years, I can attest that the only times I ever saw a Mormon man cry was during Fast and Testimony meetings, when people are weepy from starving themselves and confessing sins.

    And it was mainly the women who did the tearing up then.

    1. And it was mainly the women who did the tearing up then.

      Ouch! I didn’t know Morman women were fond of strap-ons back then. Well what’s good for the goose…

      OH, you meant lacrimation! Silly me.

  27. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    What makes this an even better trolling is how many people got steamed by it. Well done, Tim.

    I do have to agree with those who don’t get why people are so interested in Glenn Beck. But then again, I also don’t get the furor over Palin either.

  28. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    What makes this an even better trolling is how many people got steamed by it. Well done, Tim.

    I do have to agree with those who don’t get why people are so interested in Glenn Beck. But then again, I also don’t get the furor over Palin either.

    1. They’re targets for the people who desperately want to hate something and not rock the boat too badly at the same time.

      Both Palin and Beck are routinely guilty of saying some real dumb shit. They both also seem to have a fairly good size following of “normal” people due to the fact that “normal” people seem to be in agreement with them on some things. Both are, at least on the surface, in opposition to what’s popular/going on in the political sphere in the USA right now also.

      Combine those things and you get a target for simpletons who are as bad if not worse then either of them to spew anger at.

    2. What makes this an even better trolling is how many people got steamed by it. Well done, Tim.

      Actually, Epi, I’ve not seen anyone steamed yet. I’ve seen a lot of people (myself included) who are absolutely confused by it and wonder what the relevance was. That it was intended to provoke a response was obvious even to the dumbest among us. Well-made trolling usually isn’t so far out in left field that it leaves most people scratching their heads and trying to figger out some possible connection to what was being said…

      1. I take that back. Mr. Chrispy Chreme down below is steamed, but even those of us perplexed by Tim’s blatant attempt to be offensive find Chreme’s offense a little overblown.

  29. Is it me or is Reason getting more and more snarky since Obama got elected?

    1. You have the memory of a fucking fly.

      The machine? Fuck the machine!

    2. More like they weren’t snarky enough BEFORE he was elected.

  30. Mormonism’s most powerful public figures like Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman Jr., and Bill Marriott Jr.,

    They forgot Harry Reid.

    1. As soon will Nevada.

  31. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

    100% comedic gold! Bravo Cavanaugh. That was great.

  32. I expect Tim Cavanaugh’s posts to be rambling, incoherent, and irrelevant, but this takes the cake. Nobody cares about Glenn Beck, and certainly nobody cares about what some professor has to say about Glenn Beck. Also “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex” is stupid and offensive.

  33. I was raised a Mormon but parted from it’s dogma when I was a young adult.

    Regardless, I have the utmost respect for Mormons as they are across the board good, hardworking, honest, caring and sincere people. BTW Tim, any chance these traits could be connected to their penchant of financial success?

    I read a lot on the web and have rarely been so offended. Tim Cavanaugh should be banned from all keyboards for life. Actually, he should metaphorically be silenced in a deep, deep, dark forest and left to rot in autumn’s harvest of fallen leaves.

    The man is quite simply, a DOLT.

    1. “they are across the board good, hardworking, honest, caring and sincere people”

      The ones I have met appear to be practitioners of serial incest. Sure fucks the kids up. PTSD is a motherfucker.

      1. You must troll the prisons then, since no statistics bear you out on that bit.

  34. Words cannot explain how dearly I love this post. The fact that it’s offending Mormons left and right is, of course, inconsequential.

    1. You don’t need to be a Mormon to be offended by anti-Mormon sentiments. Just as you don’t need to be black to be offended by racism or Jewish to be offended by anti-Semitism.

      This entire article is worthless and pointless. It’s deliberately offensive for the sake of being offensive. Tim Cavanaugh and the people responsible for this website should be ashamed of themselves.

      1. Actually, all the sound and fury here is about a single line that stood out like a sore thumb. To say that the entire article is “worthless and pointless” based on one line just shows you to be looking for offense. Not that none was intended (since it rather clearly was), but be getting in high dudgeon you’ve just given Tim exactly what he wants.

        1. Was offense intended? I thought Tim was trying to say, “Our society frowns on doing this, and this guy is brave enough to do it anyway, and clever enough to make money doing it.”

        2. To say that the entire article is “worthless and pointless” based on one line just shows you to be looking for offense.

          I’m not offended by that line and find it kind of funny, but this article is pretty worthless. It doesn’t make any kind of point. It’s just an exercise in making fun of Beck without actually criticizing anything the man has said. There’s no substance to this.

          And I find it weird that the piece can’t seem to decide whether it’s okay to make fun of Beck for being a Mormon. It contrasts doing so with hypothetically criticizing Savage’s Jewish roots, but then ultimately decides to make fun of Beck anyway.

        3. S. Bunwalla probably put this better than I did. The article is pointless even without that particular line.

          I stand by my earlier point that that sentence is offensive, and probably deliberately so.

    2. He tweaked Catholics a bit at the end, as well, but I haven’t seen anyone comment on that.

  35. Along the same lines, I’m a little surprised that the man who a few days ago was talking up the manliness of wanting to cross-dress seems to take issue with men who cry.

  36. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    I uhh, yeah. You provide no sources for this, Mr. Cavanaugh.

  37. I don’t want to traffic in played-out memes, but Tim wins the internet.

  38. Untermensch,

    I’m not sure what his point is supposed to be or what it’s supposed to add to the discussion.

    It, uh, adds general amusement and such to the discussion. Or it provides a source of great metaphysical angst. Or it adds gruesome persistent images that will cause nightmares for decades. Or it proves that you haven’t had enough to drink yet.

    In any case, we all shall remember Tim the longer for it.

    1. Remember him for it, yes, but then we all remember Joe, and that seems to not be a good thing? Has Tim, whose writing I normally like, really gotten to the point of dressing up like a really cheap whore to stand out amongst all the other working girls lining the streets of Reason? Because that is, in effect, what you’re saying his done. Oh, and that metaphor has even more relevance to the point at hand than the one he made, which doesn’t even make sense.

      1. err, should have used Preview: “his done” -> “he’s done”

      2. I have contended that Tim is a closeted gay man* (just look at his picture sometime). Now I know he has a wife and three kids, but so do lots of closeted gay men. I believe he is finally beginning to take a peek through a cracked-open door.

        *Nothing wrong with being gay, but closeted is disgraceful.

  39. Spiritual narratives of the I-once-was-lost-now-I-am-financially-sound variety are commonplace within Mormonism, which, like most of American Protestantism, has never been allergic to wealth.

    For their sake, I hope they were saying that to the effect of “Mormons are like Protestants in that…,” instead of “Mormons, like other Protestants.” Mormonism is no more a form of a Protestantism than Southern Baptists are part of the Eastern Orthodox Church.

    1. Come now, you can’t expect Tim to understand the nuance or nature of what he’s writing about, can you? That would get in the way of general place snark and scorn…

  40. Tim, for next time, hier are just a few of the ways you might have said it differently.

  41. I have to really hand it to you Tim. The line’s still funny even coming back to it hours later.

    I really think this one is save to the quote-file worthy.

  42. I don’t really care if he or anyone else cries.

    1. It is a little offputting during the anal sex.

      1. Speak for yourself. I always found it to be incentive.

        Then again, my favorite pickup line is “Do what I say and nobody will get hurt.”

        1. Mine was, “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” or “I have candy. Get in the van.”

  43. Treatments of this nature should always get the invidious-comparison rhetorical trick, so here goes: Imagine an article called “How Judaism Created Michael Savage,” purporting to explain that fiery talker’s odd behavior through reference to the weird folkways of his small yet influential religion.

    If Savage reported–as Beck does, apparently–that his small yet influential religion was largely responsible for his success, an article titled “How Judaism Created Michael Savage” would strike me as a logical piece to write.

  44. I understand people who belong to the cult of their birth – by which I mean all religions – but I have never understood converting from one cult to another except for the sake, maybe, of marital happiness. (though I married a fellow atheist and would never consider marrying a religious person)

    1. If you’re both atheists, why bother to be married to begin with?

      1. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will send droves of Jehovah’s Witnesses and money grubbing Baptists after them if they didn’t.

      2. What’s the relationship between marriage and religion? I’m confused. I don’t see any connection.

        1. I understand why religious people get married (so the object of their veneration will give their relationship the thumbs up). Or collectivst atheists (who haven’t figured out Society is just another god and still want the thumbs up). I don’t understand what a libertarian atheist couple would get out of it.

          1. It could be a rational decision based on emotional or economic self-interest.

    2. I married a Catholic. After living with her for 15 years. Oh ya did I cause some trouble. I still can’t get the smile off my face about that one.

      1. We were not married in the Catholic Church. Not that I had to qualify what could already be deduced about me not converting.

  45. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes is a signal that what will follow will be a crude stereotype. Some of you should have to repeat Humor 101.

    The only approbation I have for Tim, is that sort of ironical framing is best done verbally and not in print. It must be done with a tone of false magnanimity, and that’s hard to convey on the page.

    1. i thought it was well-done, particularly if you consider the source.

      if it were written by glen beck i could see some confusion.

  46. I’d finish reading this invidious pathologization, but Glenn Beck’s on now, and I have a febrile desire to listen to him instead.

    1. Hopefully you’ll get treated to a three-hankie day.

      1. That would be one hanky for each Obama official he is on the brink of getting to resign.

        1. So he cries after he gets someone to resign?

          1. I cried when Jones resigned. It took three cartons of Moose Tracks and a Bet Midler album to get over it.

            1. It would be a Hate Crime for me to respond to you.

              1. This is awesome.

      2. What color hankies?

  47. OK thats actually making sense to me dude, I like it!

    RT
    http://www.anonymous.ua.tc

    1. Hahahahahahaha! Anal Rapeist-bot FTW!

    2. This is just too hilarious

    3. I think Jack is confirming he cries when anally raped.

      Is Beeno a play on Beano? If so the potential for laughs is high.

  48. I’m not sure I understand why people are so fascinated by this Beck person.

    Because he is by far the most effective at exposing/attacking this administration. Van Jones. ACORN. He’s got some pretty good scalps on the wall, and (what’s really sad) he’s absolutely beat the pants off of all the “serious journalists” in the country in doing so.

    1. And what real stories are Beck and his network ignoring while they spend all their time pretending that ACORN and Jones are the country’s greatest threats?

      1. Balloon hoax? Jon and Kate breakup? Executive order instituting Sharia law?

      2. Obama Fucking America’s Ass. (sniff, sniff).

    2. Exactly.

      Personally, I find it kind of amusing whenever I see LoneWhacko criticizing the effectiveness of Reason and the Tea Party movements, and the Reason contributors in turn making fun of Beck.

      Beck has already proven to be more effective at battling and exposing the nature of this administration than Reason and LoneWhacko combined.

      1. “Because he is by far the most effective at exposing/attacking this administration. ”

        he’s also a showman/total looney tune (depending on whether you believe he believes his schtick or not).

        it tends to make for a kinetic public presence.

  49. ACORN? I thought it was some kid in a pimp suit did that. Give credit where credit is due.

    1. It was Beck who brought it to the Big Stage.

      1. I’m not as impressed by piling on as I am by getting the scoop.

  50. The last time America wanted to see a grown man cry was during the Sensitive Guy trend of the 1970s, which predictably turned out to be just another cover for male self-indulgence.

    I tried doing that in New Hampshire in 1972. It didn’t work.

    1. What’s the stupidest thing ever written by Reason?

      1. Its charter.

  51. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

    The stupidest thing ever written in Reason!

    1. gene, your sense of humor called. it said “aaaarrrrhhhhhgghhhhhhhhhaaahhhhhglarb glarb glarb” and then made some puking sounds because it’s clearly dead.

      1. though i may be mistaken and it’s starting a black metal band. what’s your sense of humor’s opinion on winters in norway?

  52. “I married a fellow atheist and would never consider marrying a religious person”

    You mean, you would never consider marrying a person from a religion other than your own!

    1. “If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.”

  53. When you can’t think of anything substantive to say, go after character. What a lame article this is.
    If you have any brains, lets see you take on his issues head to head.
    doh

  54. “You mean, you would never consider marrying a person from a religion other than your own!”

    If you need to see the world through this semantic fiction, then go right ahead. Just don’t be surprised when gay marriage advocates also want to play fast and loose with traditional definitions.

  55. Glenn Beck hates the 1st amendment, free speech, and net neutrality.

    That’s all you need to know.

  56. Dave, one of those things is not like the other.

    And, [citation needed].

  57. R C Dean,

    Net neutrality is in the First Amendment, written secretly in urine.

    1. Breaking news! James Randi has been recommended by Pope Benedict XVI to be his successor!

  58. Please do not lump Mormonism in with Protestantism. The only Christian denomination in the United States that I know of which considers Mormons Christian is Mormons. If you are going to include Mormons in with “most of Protestantism”, you may as well include the Unification Church as well. Mormons are about as Christian as James Randi.

  59. Good to see that religious bigotry is alive and well at Reason. I mean, you can’t make a much more profound argument than one full of anal sex jokes and homosexual insinuations, can you? Sheer fucking brilliance. Every time I visit this site, it reminds me of why the majority of the country despises atheists. The only bunch in the United States more smug, self-righteous and convinced of its own intellectual superiority is so-called “progressives”, and we all know what a bunch of assholes they are.

    1. I find cats to be extremely self-righteous and considering themselves intellectually superior. I would amend that to Progressives -> cats -> Reason

  60. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    Funny AND certain to annoy the hell out of Beck-lovin’ homophobes! Well done, Tim.

    The rest of y’all need to chill the hell out.

    1. Cosmotarian humor escapes me.

      1. Imagine you’re back in 7th grade and it will make sense, apparently.

        “He said ‘anal sex’…heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh….”

  61. the innominate one|10.22.09 @ 9:44PM|#
    reasonistas: is every half-baked psychoanalysis a pathologization?

    R C Dean|10.23.09 @ 9:33AM|#
    I believe so, yes. Do you have any examples that aren’t intended to marginalize the subject?

    RC: how does the very example Tim cites marginalize Beck? (though Beck marginalizes himself). he got Van Jones – whoo hoo! a stopped analog clock is right twice a day. Beck is more like the digital clock on the VCR/DVD combo forever flashing 12:00 AM.

    btw, I refuse to thread comments. I know getting libertarians to cooperate is like herding cats, but threaded comments delenda est.

    just say no to threaded comments.

    don’t thread on me.

    1. Don’t tell me what to do!

    2. It’s Adnotatiunculae bilicis delenda est, dude, until a Latin scholar corrects it.

  62. LDS has to be among the stupidest of all religions – and that is saying ALOT. Oh, wait a minute, there’s an archangel outside my window…He’s…He’s giving me a message….

    1. Is that anything like any other religion? They all have their moments.

      1. DT,

        I think you should now traffic in crude stereotypes.

    2. As the birthday of Mormonism fades into the past its legitimacy as a “real” religion rises. Scientology and The Church of the Subgenius make just as much sense as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The only difference is the details of the creation of the two former are a matter of recent history. It’s still PC to laugh at them because they are obvious absurdities. The dust of time that obscures the absurdity of more ancient religions is enveloping LDS history, its creation myth growing more untouchable with every passing day.

    3. How is this more absurd than saying I need to have a 35 year old virgin man dribble a liquid on my infant child’s head because a long time ago a woman talked to a snake that convinced her to eat a piece of fruit?

      1. I call threadwinner!

  63. I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    Could someone explain what the ‘crude stereotype’ is? Or, why equating crying with anal sex is funny/clever?

    1. What would Beck do if Bauer became White House counsel?

      1. Jennifer,

        Make a comment that sounds like normal snarkiness at first, but include the adjective “manly” in reference to Glenn Beck.

      2. Pro Lib,

        Please provide comment suggestions for Jennifer. Thanks in advance.

    2. Could someone explain what the ‘crude stereotype’ is? Or, why equating crying with anal sex is funny/clever?

      Because in this context, it’ll annoy the hell out of the manly pile of sobbingness that calls itself Glenn Beck.

      1. I would be surprised if Glenn Beck, or anyone who talks to him, actually reads this article and the (simultaneously funny and obnoxious and generally not-true) money shot sentence.

        You can’t annoy someone with something they’re oblivious to.

      2. Now I remember this from South Park.

        Cartman: “Glen Beck, he cries on TV, he’s so Gay. He likes butt sex.”

        Kyle: “Shut up Cartman.”

        Cartman: “You shut up, Kyle. You’re upset because Beck is not a Christian, but some kinda Utah Jew, like you.”

  64. Beck is going to have a field day with Baeur getting the White House council job. The administration is now writing Beck’s show for him.

    1. Or at least being considered.

      1. We all need an excuse to drink. Harry P, can you do the honors?

        1. I feel so inadequate. I know nothing of the drinking game.

          1. Harry P will trigger it with a comment about how “Reason” is an inappropriate name for the magazine to which this blog is appended. There are other rules, but that’s one of the biggies. Like “Hi, Bob” in “Hi, Bob.”

            1. I’ll do the honors:

              For a magazine called Reason, that was a statement devoid of reason.

              Everyone drink!

  65. And yet another reminder why I consider myself a small-L libertarian at best. The money sentence of this article makes me wonder if the name “Reason” is meant to be ironic.

    1. actually it’s a post-irony thing.

      you wouldn’t understand.

      “Could someone explain what the ‘crude stereotype’ is? Or, why equating crying with anal sex is funny/clever?”

      it’s not a crude stereotype. it’s a completely baseless comparison.

      1. Isn’t post-irony supposed to be funny or clever?

  66. It’s funny to see people get their hackles up over some mormon bashing… Religion bashing is a staple at Reason. Mormons, like most other religious folks, are nice people. But their mythology is among the kookiest.

  67. crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.

    Snif…

    …What??

    Does this mean Otis Redding has been raping me all these years?

    1. Nah. Apparently only Tim C. cries when he is the passive partner in anal sex.

  68. “I don’t want to traffic in crude stereotypes, but[in this society] crying is exactly the same as being the passive partner in anal sex.”

    Now put that in context with the rest of the paragraph and it all starts to make some sense.

  69. I think Brooks is giving Mormonism credit that belongs to Vick’s Vapo-rub.

    1. Ouch!!!

  70. We know you’re not gay, Tim.

    Now come on out of that closet.

  71. In response to the pejorative and demeaning description of mormon masculinity, may I quote one thing and then be done.

    But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.

    What you and Alternet deride as pre-programming, the scriptures teach is the main way the spirit speaks to us. Not to the natural mind, but to the spiritual mind and to the heart and the soul.

    I would submit that there is a lot of courage in Glen’s tears. It isn’t programming, it is the “joy” of the gospel, the “love” of his Savior and his family, and the “peace” of the truths he has found. Can he help it if that overwhelms him sometimes?

  72. sloagm: Don’t forget the Vick’s Vaporub. http://crooksandliars.com/davi…..s-revealed

  73. Kevin: In all honesty I’ve never watched Mr. Beck. Cable news lost my interest a LONG time ago, but my understanding is that the video is from a photo shoot, not from an actual interview or video shoot. The shoot was poking fun at his own emotions that sometimes get away from him. While I find it a bit distasteful, I have to say that his emotions are more than likely genuine, contrary to what the link implies. It is very misleading. CNL is probably not the most reliable news source, at least up here on the surface of the earth. I guess down in the blogosphere (somewhere between the 6th and 7th circles of hell) fact checking is a byword.

  74. Kevin: Let me caveat that last post by saying that Mr. Beck is not likely the most reliable source for news either…just in case I came off as a Beck-booster or something.

  75. This is one of the most unprofessional, stupidly written articles I have ever seen! It is plainly just an “ad hominem” argument. The sexual reference is totally unprofessional, crude, and disgusting! It has nothing to do with the man. I am a follower of Jesus as the Messiah but what Glenn holds to doesn’t matter as we are talking about showing the corruption in the government and its move to make us a Socialist State. If you want to write about Glenn Beck then write about his political beliefs and what you agree with and what you don’t agree with. Get a life!

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