Moon Bombing Open Thread


We've heard rumors of a rather serious epidemic at Clavius.

Necessary first strike against Moonmen? Unconstitutional attack on the loonies? Torturing nature to find out her secrets? Boondoggle? Big nothing?

Starter topic: Which moon resident are you hoping to see hit by the Centaur upper stage rocket: Martin Landau, Sam Rockwell, William Sylvester, or other?

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  1. Isn’t Clavius where they buried TMA-1?

    … Hobbit

  2. They’re doing it because they need to find a new source for government cheese.

    1. Hahahahahahahahaha

  3. So is this where they’re sending all those singing Obamabot kids?

    1. Who ‘da man dat won ‘da Peace Prize?
      Obama did!
      Mmm, mmm, mmmm!

  4. I suspect the moon will remain unresponsive to our bombing.

    1. Is every thread a Polanski thread today?


    2. What response would you like? 😉

  5. Then we’ll have to get serious! Bomb the moon back to the stone age! Project a little power! That’ll show it who’s boss.

  6. I just hope it doesn’t hit Lt. Gay Ellis

  7. Hit The Warden! TANSTAAFL.

  8. What? No link to the America’s Going To Blow Up The Moon sketch?

    Why do you hate America, Tim Cavanaugh?

    1. you bastard, that was my first thought

      “We have the technology, the time is now, science can wait no longer, children are our future, America can should must and will blow up the moon!”

  9. There’d be a time-lapse Quad Laser! text-picture series in this thread right now if the site hadn’t been “upgraded” to point ass.

  10. Heck yeah dude lets bomb da moon, what a great idea!


  11. “Which moon resident are you hoping to see hit by the Centaur upper stage rocket?”


  12. The real question is when will we need more boots on the moon?

    1. Yes.

      Thigh high, knee high, spike heels of course.

      1. You don’t, perchance, own a purple wig?

        1. No, I only have blue, pink and blonde. I can only hope that the day never comes when multi-color electrochromic polymer wigs grace the bodies of anybody.

          Or is Yakov looking for something like: On moon, wig purchase you!

  13. I’m hoping anonbot gets hit by the moon bomb.

  14. On the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks.

    1. Only if they have fairy wings!

  15. Retaliation for the Mooninites’ attempted terrorist attack on Boston.

  16. You know who ever the rocket scientist is that came up with this plan they had to be a redneck prior to becoming a rocket scientist. Only a redneck would come up with,”Hey. Lets just throw a big ass chunk of something at it and hope it explodes.”

    1. The Huntsville and Canaveral connection.

      1. So very true. Huntsville, Alabama – a curious mix of rednecks and rocket scientists…

    2. Rocket science is all about having a legitimate reason to play with explosive materials. That is not redneck, that’s just normal science geekdom.

  17. the al-Qaeda cell has just been wiped out.

  18. fuckers were gonna launch a serious attack. Team America, Fuck Yeah!

  19. Decades of intelligence has led to the unavoidable conclusion that the Moon may be harboring radioactive isotopes such as helium-3.

    While many attempts have been made to engage in good-faith arms-reduction negotiations, the Moon continues to harbor these nuclear materials, and scans of the Moon show dangerous levels of toxic solar and cosmic radiation.

    The UN has levied numerous sanctions and declarations to entreat the Moon to cease its hostile activities, but the Moon flouts such diplomatic efforts, acting as thought the UN has no jurisdiction over it whatsoever. It has ignored many requests to admit UN weapons inspectors to look for hazardous materials.

    Therefore, the US is left with little choice but to engage in a preemptive strike against the Moon. After toppling the repressive lunar regime, and a brief occupation-and-rebuilding phase, the US will leave the Moon a fertile, pluralistic democracy, eager to trade its precious energy reserves with its liberators.

  20. 1. That does not look like a “Lunar South Pole Map” it looks more like a labeled photograph.

    2. Starter topic: Which moon resident are you hoping to see hit by the Centaur upper stage rocket: Moon Maiden (I grew up in a Dick Tracey fan household)

    1. My vote too. Moon Maiden.
      Follow up question: Which nation will be the first to control magnetism?

  21. You can’t hit the Mooninites. The Moon has one-third less gravity than Earth. I don’t know if you can understand that, but their vertical leap is beyond all measurement.

    1. Are they like Mennonites but with space tech?

    2. They’re also excellent spellers.

  22. Came for the “that’s no moon” comments, leaving disappointed.

  23. All your crater are belong to US.

    Make your time!

  24. What moon? It was blown out of orbit 10 years ago. I toasted the anniversary and lit a candle for Barbara Bain.

  25. Always Bomb first with you Americans, isn’t it?

  26. On Moon, it bombs you!

  27. haven’t they crashed enough probes into mars? for fucks sake, we’ve been to the moon already!
    are we sure that this was the original plan, or was this another imperial/metric conversion mishap with better spin?

  28. It’s where the WMDs are, just ask Colin Powell…

  29. Rocket scientists. Pweh!

    You always want to have the high ground in a gravity well when the shooting starts. We haven’t even begun to understand the can o’ whoopass we just opened.

  30. Ever since the moon accreted, it has been stirring up our oceans, raising tides, slowing the Earth’s rotation and eclipsing the sun.

    And let’s not forget how it got started: Slamming a Mars-sized planet into early Earth, totally destroying the newly formed crust. A clear act of Boskonian terrorism.

    Enough of this!

    Nuke Mare Tranquillitatis now!

  31. I personally find it offensive that so many people have a fascination with Mars. Given the number of times the red planet has invaded us, we need to go in and occupy it for a while.

    The ten-year anniversary of the moon being blown out of orbit was completely ignored by the liberal media.

    Never forget.

    1. I’ll never forget. Barbara Bain was my first celebrity crush.

  32. Does NASA *know* what’s in that shadowy crater? Bummer if we took out the monolith …

    1. More likely we’ll wake it, it will send a message to its alien masters and they’ll come here to consume our brains.

  33. Sounds like a moondoggle…

  34. CNN will be fact checking this thread, so please, no more cheap shots directed toward our glorious governmental officials.

  35. WTF? No Urkobold crew yet? You guys are slacking. I’ll be expecting a check for my contribution.


  36. “Bombing the moon” is something kinky I thought SugarFree did.

    1. Is that like teabagging but hitting the asshole, not the mouth?

      1. I need to forward this to John T. for book fodder.

  37. Specifically SugarFree and Warty.

  38. WTF? No Urkobold crew yet?

    Who do you think was in that crater that got bombed?

    A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Urkobold is dead! Anyone claiming the contrary is an imposter and must be bombed at once.

    1. Beggin’ for a taint whithering, eh?

      1. I dare the ghost of Urkobold to mess with me.

  39. Obama must have found out there was a US flag up there and told NASA to destroy it.

  40. Moon man. From the book by the same name.

  41. I know the Unification Church is kooky but that’s no reason to bomb the guy.

  42. Aren’t there enough craters already? And did we ask anyone else if it was okay to bomb the moon?

  43. Yeah. And won’t this contribute to moon warming?

    I can’t stand the idea of having an over heated moon.

  44. Does this mean we’re now going to get to see Obama strutting around in a flight suit beneath a “Mission accomplished” banner?

    OTOH, as stupid and wasteful as it is, bombing the moon may be the most productive thing this administration has done yet.

  45. Does this mean we’re now going to get to see Obama strutting around in a flight suit beneath a “Mission accomplished” banner?

    OTOH, as stupid and wasteful as it is, bombing the moon may be the most productive thing this administration has done yet.

  46. What if they shoot back?

    And did no one read “The Time Machine

  47. Don’t we own the moon since we put a stupid plastic flag on it? We should start charging rent.

    1. You thought that was real?

    2. Don’t we own the moon since we put a stupid plastic flag on it?

      Not according to treaties we signed back in the 60’s near the beginning of the space program.

  48. This is so sad.

    1. We are bombing the moon in celebration of Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

      1. I think dying the sky green would be a better way to celebrate, but I don’t think it’s possible.

        1. If Chiabama says it’s green, that’s close enough.

          1. Please forgive me, I couldn’t resist? Would you rather live in Gaza or on the moon? I’ll throw in a free Chiabami!

  49. The LRCROSS and the mothership are actually only going to strike the moon with kinetic energy so they’re not necessarily “bombs”. They’re more like unmanned mineral prospectors.

    Comparing this to war (even in jest) is exactly backwards. The LCROSS mission is being done for the advancement of all mankind and the exploratory spirit that resides in us all. Therefore, it’s the complete opposite of warfare, which is done in the spirit of malice to the detriment of the many and the benefit of the few.

    1. You must have been fun in class and at parties.

  50. They need to do that again, and again, and again, until it’s spectacular. That was the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. Fuck you, NASA. Your producers are fired.

  51. David, dude, you need to get laid, maybe smoke some drugs.

  52. Well, as we noted a while back. . .

    Amazing the lengths that NASA will go to in preserving the illusion that men went to the Moon–landing full-scale fake LMs on the Moon, along with actors (doubtlessly highly trained CIA agents who were later killed to protect the secret) to walk around and leave fake tracks. Insidiously audacious!

    So, clearly, this impact was cleverly designed to destroy any traces of the hoax, which had been inadvertently spotted by an orbiting satellite.

    I’m absolutely shocked that no one here has mentioned Nuke the Moon.

  53. I’m absolutely shocked that no one here has mentioned Nuke the Moon.

    I’m actually surprised that (I think) nobody else may have picked up on Yakov’s “purple wig” reference.

  54. EJM,

    Are you mad? Purple-haired Moon maidens are an integral part of libertarian culture.

    I loved that show as a kid.

  55. We’re earthlings, let’s bomb earth things!

  56. If they awaken Dahak, bad things will happen.

  57. I’m shocked at the lack of awe.

  58. OMG! I can’t believe the nerve of this! There could be rare species on the moon that we don’t know about and we could be hurting them! Just think of the LunaPolarFluffyZiwis! You bastards! And, you ever see that movie, umm, about this dude that traveled in time, only because he had to, because they were messing with the moon? Well, it could happen you know! Maybe we should talk to a nobel prize winner like Gore or Obama before we go messing witht the moon!

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