Free Panfilo!

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Who hasn't, after an evening (or afternoon) of aggressive alcohol consumption, wandered around town looking for some delicious, greasy, cheap nosh? Last month, Juan Carlos Gonzalez Marcos, a hard-drinking resident of Havana who goes by the name Panfilo, knocked backed a few hundred beers and decided to tell a nearby foreign film crew that food is scarce in the communist nation. When the video was posted on YouTube, Panfilo's troubles began:

He was arrested and charged with "pre-criminal social endangerment" after jumping into the frame of a video being filmed on the streets of Havana and shouting on camera that there was hunger in Cuba. He was sentenced to two years in prison.

"What we need here is a little bit of jama [Cuban Spanish slang for food]!" Gonzalez shouted on camera after pushing the person being interviewed about reggaeton out of the video frame. "We're under fire here! Go ahead and tape me! Jama!"

The person being interviewed regained the attention of the cameraman for a few seconds, only to be pushed away once more by Gonzalez, 48, who went for another close-up. "We need food! We're hungry here! Listen to what Panfilo tells you from Cuba: food!"

Here's the video:

In true Stalinist fashion, Panfilo was forced to perform in this ritual retraction video:

Not contrite enough, apparently. Gonzalez was arrested on August 7.

Seven days later, in a closed-door trial, a municipal court sentenced him to two years in prison. The charge of precriminal social endangerment, which dates to 20th century's fascist and communist regimes, has been in use in Cuba since the 1960s and has even been applied to political opponents and human rights activists.

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  1. “pre-criminal social endangerment”

    I’m definitely guilty of this.

  2. At least he has excellent health care.

  3. But remember he gets free healthcare!! And I am sure Cuba is ahead of the US in renewable energy.

    1. what is always surprise me is, that so many people after fifty years of bloody
      communist dictatorship, are so ignorant
      of Cuba reality,I would like the communist system destroy this country,the same way that the communist system destroy Cuba, because I believe that is the only way that people understand Cuba reality and stop been so ignorant.

  4. Beat me to it CN.

    Shakes fist in rage!!

  5. He’s a god if he managed to drink that many beers. Or do Cubans drink beer instead of eat?

  6. There are two guilty parties here: Not just the shrieking Limbaughbot Panfilo, but also the ongoing American blockade which created and maintains Cuba’s poverty, and which compels the Cuban government to imprison foreign-inspired brownshirts like Panfilo out of simple, and perfectly understandable, self-defense. Funny how you libertarians always believe in self-defense, until somebody with brown skin starts practicing it.

    1. I hate ignorant people, that is the reason why I take my time to write the definition of the word BLOCKADE; is the isolation of a nation,area,city or harbor by hostile ships or forces in order to prevent the entrace and exist of all traffic and commerce. The bloody communist dictatorship has commerce with many country included USA.the only thing they do not have from us is credit, because they never pay back.

  7. Meanwhile, the racist Bushgang war on science continues at full speed; now they’re trying to retroactively shove prehistoric hunter-gatherer women into the same owned-property box where they keep their own wives, while they’re out diddling little boys themselves. And lobbyists.

  8. The charge of precriminal social endangerment … has even been applied to political opponents and human rights activists.

    Unlike pre-social criminal endangerment, practiced at town hells.

  9. methinks no one will see my post on the “flashcards” thread. Oh well. (it’s not that funny)

    Also, what the fuck is Domestic Terrorist talking about? Epi? Warty? Anyone? Is he kidding? A parody? A thread “clown?”

    I don’t get it.

  10. I hope it’s a parody. If it isn’t..well there are medications that can help that…

  11. There are two guilty parties here: Not just the shrieking Limbaughbot Panfilo, but also the ongoing American blockade which created and maintains Cuba’s poverty, and which compels the Cuban government to imprison foreign-inspired brownshirts like Panfilo out of simple, and perfectly understandable, self-defense. Funny how you libertarians always believe in self-defense, until somebody with brown skin starts practicing it.

    You are my new favorite spoofer.

  12. That “has even been applied” in the last quoted line is brilliant.

  13. Listen up, you BushitlerBots: Panfilo does have free healthcare, and you don’t. Not only that, but Cuba has a 99% literacy rate, and the U.S.’s is at about 40% (and lower here!) Maybe if we freed the Cuban Five they could send Panfilo here, although that would lower the cultural level of both countries!

    LIBERATION NOW!

  14. Also, what the fuck is Domestic Terrorist talking about? Epi? Warty? Anyone? Is he kidding? A parody? A thread “clown?”

    I’m finding it funny regardless, but I have to assume it’s a parody of an extreme Castro-booster.

  15. “Panfilo does have free healthcare, and you don’t

    I have a house in which to eat my steak, money to pay a doctor to fix what ails me and a bunch of guns to keep all of it. Fuck Cuba.

    Oh, and head down to Miami and ask a few of the folks there who’ve made it here from there if they want to go back for the free healthcare and literacy.

    Dumbass.

  16. Panfilo does have free healthcare, and you don’t

    Hey, in America everyone in prison (like Panfilo) gets free healthcare. So Cuba’s got nothing on us there.

  17. Nimrods like Oliver Stone should have to watch things like this. Then they should be whipped for their enablement of the Castro regime.

    Of fuck it, just skip right to the whipping…

  18. I’ll bet Rep. Wilson is damn glad he isn’t Cuban.

  19. Parody, but entertaining.

    Of course, Cuba gets plenty of trade from, well, Earth, so the U.S. embargo has done little to hurt the country economically. It’s no different than any other corrupt, totalitarian country. And, like most dictators, a scapegoat is necessary. In other words, we’re the Ukrainians to Castro’s Stalin, except that he can’t starve us.

    The bad thing about the embargo is that if we’d engaged in unrestricted trade, Castro probably would’ve been overthrown and replaced by a liberal, U.S.-friendly government long ago.

  20. “Panfilo does have free healthcare, and you don’t. Not only that, but Cuba has a 99% literacy rate, and the U.S.’s is at about 40% (and lower here!)”

    Hey Captain Stupid:
    1. Iirc Cuba had a blindness epidemic from malnourishment just years ago, so I’m not thrilled about their health care system…

    2. They have a 99% literacy rate AS REPORTED BY THE TOTALITARIAN REGIME, the same regime that punished this man for daring to utter bad news about conditions in Cuba. So how accurate do you think that figure is? btw our literacy rate is 98%+

    3. You can criticize conditions in the US without being tossed in jail, he can’t.

    3.

  21. The bad thing about the embargo is that if we’d engaged in unrestricted trade, Castro probably would’ve been overthrown and replaced by a liberal, U.S.-friendly government long ago.

    Dunno ’bout that. Castro is a pretty ruthless fuck and all that. Still the embargo just gives him someone else to blame without achieving its purported goal, regime change.

    Like reefer prohibition, it’s so obvious that the Cuba embargo is a monumentally stupid policy it has broad bipartisan support.

  22. Yes, I’ve heard some apologists for Cuba (and China) throw out the official government statistics as gospel. Like we can even trust our more accountable government’s figures!

  23. China has the funniest bogus statistics. No AIDS, no crime, plenty of jama for all.

    I’d like to hope there are no real apologists for China other than the Chinese government though. For some bullshit reason some liberals feel the need to defend the evil Castro regime. Hell if I know why.

  24. Seriously, guys, I think you may be wasting your time arguing with a clear parody.

  25. Let’s not bicker and argue over who is arguing with whom. I just wanted to comment on the enigma that is Cuba.

  26. Let us first describe literacy. Being able to read Dick and Jane means nothing. There are large portions of American society that are not functionally literate.

    Nationally, the rate of functional illiteracy is 21%. A study done in 2000 showed a similar rate of functional illiteracy in Great Britain, where over one-fifth of the population — over seven million people — were found to be functionally illiterate.

    From here.

    More than a fifth of adult Americans are unable to comprehend what is written in the daily paper. It’s 40-55% in Detroit.

    Yea for public schools!

  27. Well, now you’re arguing with me, ProL. I think you need to get your anger issues under control, like Warty has. Well, you might not want to go to the extreme of chemical castration like he did, but still, he provides you with an example.

  28. Epi – It’s always about testicles with you isn’t it?

  29. I’d like to hope there are no real apologists for China other than the Chinese government though.

    Thomas Friedman would have words with you, sir.

  30. Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!

  31. Ah, pardon me. That was directed toward Mr. Episiarch. My sincerest regrets.

    Regards,

    Pro Libertate

  32. Epi – It’s always about testicles with you isn’t it?

    Monique Junot: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.

    Lane Myer: Excuse me?

    Monique Junot: You know, like octopus? Testicles?

    Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Big difference.

  33. lso the ongoing American blockade which created and maintains Cuba’s poverty,

    That of course is bullshit. There are very few things that can only be obtained from the United States, and Cuba can trade with every other country on earth.

    Cuba’s poverty is the result of Castro’s persecution of his subjects, precisely the same way that the North Koreans are impoverished by their own repulsive little tyrant.

    -jcr

  34. Panfilo does have free healthcare

    Nope. That healthcare costs him more than we can contemplate.

    -jcr

  35. Any dickless Leftist fuckbag who praises Cuba should move there.

  36. YouTube: Undermining Authority since 2005

  37. J sub D: *I* am unable to comprehend what is in the daily fucking papers, and I am incomparably more intelligent than you.

    Panfilo, like Vaclav Havel, had the great good fortune to spend his formative years outside the toxic nursery/prison of corporate pseudoeducation and pseudojournalism. Your involuntary ignorance is understandable; his willful betrayal is a criminal act of literal rhetorical violence, a deliberate and wanton attempt at defacing the truth to the determent of the human race.

    JB: You are a homosexual.

  38. Panfilo would be a really good name for a Cuban sandwich.

  39. s/determent/detriment/. But you knew damn well what I meant.

  40. There are two guilty parties here: Not just the shrieking Limbaughbot Panfilo, but also the ongoing American blockade which created and maintains Cuba’s poverty,

    Yeah cuz it is impossible for Cuba to trade with Mexico and Canada….and you know the whole rest of the world.

    The embargo is stupid….but it is in no way the cause of Cuba’s poverty

  41. JB: You are a homosexual.

    Lucky he does not live here in Cuba where we throw ppl in jail for that.

  42. YADT, you’re my hero. I’m going to wear my Obama-as-Che T-shirt to Starbucks in protest of fascists protesting La Cuba.

  43. The embargo isn’t the cause of Cuba’s poverty. Cuba’s always been poor.

  44. What I learned on Hit & Run today:

    Cuba sucks.

  45. Nationally, the rate of functional illiteracy is 21%. A study done in 2000 showed a similar rate of functional illiteracy in Great Britain, where over one-fifth of the population — over seven million people — were found to be functionally illiterate.

    You know, that explains a lot right there.

    For instance: why 35% of the Democrats believe Bush knew about 9/11 in advance.

    As noted in South Park:

    “Let’s take a sample: there are four of us here, and you’re a retard. So yeah, I’d say one fourth of the country is retarded.”

    “Yeah, at least one fourth.”

  46. The embargo isn’t the cause of Cuba’s poverty. Cuba’s always been poor.

    Racist.

  47. Catso: Hardy har har. I bet Matthew Shepherd and Freddie Mercury sure are glad they didn’t have to suffer from free health care, education, food, and the benign protection of a humane state. Their only freedom was the freedom to starve or be killed, and I’m sure they cherished it as they died violently at the hands of white male racist right-wing extremists just like you.

  48. JB: You are a homosexual.

    Methinks you project too much.

  49. All the little pricks
    with the Che t-shirts say
    Cuba Rocks!
    Cuba Rocks!

    Livin’ in tin
    with no din din
    Cuba Rocks!
    Cuba Rocks!

  50. Ironically, “panfilo” sounds like a delicious Mediterranean pastry.

  51. Where were you FREEDOM FIGHTERS when I chained myself to a desk at Adriane Huffanan’s headquarters?

    Where WERE YOU THEN?

    I FOUGHT FOR YOU, AND YOU DID NOTHING.

    You people make me sick. I SCREAMED OUT: “I NEED A PEE BOTTLE!!!” AND YOU DID NOTHING.

    DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT CUBA UNTIL YOU HELP ME LIBERATE U.S. RADIO, YOU HATERS OF FREEDOM.

  52. That of course is bullshit. There are very few things that can only be obtained from the United States, and Cuba can trade with every other country on earth.

    Cuba’s poverty is the result of Castro’s persecution of his subjects, precisely the same way that the North Koreans are impoverished by their own repulsive little tyrant.

    The main cause of the poverty in Cuba is the regime, but not being able to trade with the largest and wealthiest economy in the world, located next door, doesn’t help.

    There are very few things we can’t buy elsewhere that we buy from Mainland China, but if all trade was cut off with them we’d be poorer.

  53. Yeah, true enough Prolefeed, but Cuba CAN trade with mainland China too. The embargo – as all embargoes go – does dick all. Which is frankly why it needs to end. It’s obviously not hurt Castro even slightly and in the meantime we’ve not had an opportunity to interact with regular Cubans & they with us.

    That’s the biggest crime of all I think, since on the one hand the Cuban people have has more limited first hand knowledge of the US and as such may buy the party line more often than they other wise would and on our end, retarded college students have grown up not being able to see people like Panfilo.

  54. Why am I seeing John Ciccilini’s huffandblow.com impenetrably deep satire site being associated with the lonewacko? Is this a sign of epic multi-faceted griefing?

  55. The quality of spoof on this thread is well above average. I like!

  56. Not to mention a Better Off Dead reference, as well as a Cuban guy whose name makes me want some kind of gyro empanada.

  57. I like the domestic terrorist. He funny.

  58. A more important question may be why they didnt arrest and imprison the Reggaeton DJ for perpetuating that vile stuff.

    As for Panfilo, I would hire the guy to show up at presidential speeches to congress, and grab the mike and go, “Healthcare? We dont need fucking healthcare, man…I need a BEER! AND SOME FOOD TOO, OYE, GET ME A SANDWICH!” Then puke on Nancy Pelosi and start singing guantanamera.

  59. Catso: Hardy har har. I bet Matthew Shepherd and Freddie Mercury sure are glad they didn’t have to suffer from free health care, education, food, and the benign protection of a humane state. Their only freedom was the freedom to starve or be killed, and I’m sure they cherished it as they died violently at the hands of white male racist right-wing extremists just like you.

    While we all enjoy a good troll… Your parody of Castro supporters is a bit too outlandish. The idea is to convince, at least a few people, that you are serious.

  60. As for Panfilo, I would hire the guy to show up at presidential speeches to congress, and grab the mike and go, “Healthcare? We dont need fucking healthcare, man…I need a BEER! AND SOME FOOD TOO, OYE, GET ME A SANDWICH!” Then puke on Nancy Pelosi and start singing guantanamera.

    If you take up a collection, I’ll kick in ten bucks. Fifteen if I get a copy of the video.

  61. I lost my balls in the Cuban revolution! Viva Che! Viva Michael Moore! Viva los idiotas leftistas!

  62. From my point of view, the worst thing about the embargo against Cuba is that it’s a usurpation by the federal government. Who the hell ever gave JFK or any president since the power to command US citizens not to visit any country we choose to?

    The embargo should be challenged in court on constitutional grounds. I wish one of the Olympic athletes that Jimmy Carter screwed over had done the same.

    -jcr

  63. Free healthcare huh? My mother just died in one of these Cuban “health care” facilities. My father had to bring bed sheets and linen from home because the hospitals have none. Antibiotics are non existent. But if she had been from another country, she could have stayed at a fancy “boutique” hospital that Cubans can’t attend. Communism BITES. I hope the USA becomes communist soon so everyone can experience it first hand.

  64. hi,
    everybody, take your time and a little bit.

  65. It used to be that degrees in the humanities were luxuries to be pursued by the idle rich. If you were poor, you studied a trade, or you worked your ass off in school to get scholarships, or at best you went to college and made sure you studied a field that would allow you to pay back your student loans.
    http://www.mirei.com

  66. There’s another problem with the $1 million factoid: it doesn’t prove that going to college caused the difference in earnings. It could well be that the people who go to college are on average smarter and/or better at taking direction and/or more ambitious than people who don’t.
    Abilene Roofing Contractor

  67. Free healthcare huh? My mother just died in one of these Cuban “health care” facilities. My father had to bring bed sheets and linen from home because the hospitals have none. Antibiotics are non existent. But if she had been from another country, she could have stayed at a fancy “boutique” hospital that Cubans can’t attend. Communism BITES. I hope the USA becomes communist soon so everyone can experience it first hand.
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