Print

That This Is Beautiful for D.C. Tells You Everything You Need to Know About D.C.'s Beauty

|

The Hill newspaper, in a stunt that can charitably be described as emetic, has assembled a "50 Most Beautiful" list of the creatures who work on Capitol Hill. And the Number 1 slot goes to…Rep. Martin Heinrich, Democrat from Albuquerque!

He's married, ladies!

The second-highest elected politician? Rep. Maxine Waters, Democrat from South L.A.

Surely there was a better camera angle?

"Stylish glasses" and "impressively high footwear," we are told. Link via L.A. Observed.

NEXT: Don't Prop Up Wall Street

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. WTF? I can’t not say this… she looks like an Eddie Murphy character.

  2. WTF?

  3. As they say, politics is show business for ugly people.

  4. WTF ad infinitum…

  5. whiskey tango foxtrot

  6. Rep. Martin Heinrich, Democrat

    He’s kinda handsome. Probably one of the more handsome men in Congress. Definately more handsome than the COngress Critters I see on TV all the time.

    Maxine Waters on the other hand..WTF?! Bachmann is way hotter (and bat shit crazy to boot)

  7. How did Henry Waxman not make the list?

  8. Maybe they needed a shot of Waters gazing wistfully away from the camera.

  9. Wasn’t she the lead in “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”? I hate the idea of glamorizing these creatures. I think every American should have to spend a Friday night at a capitol hill bar and rub elbows with the critters who inhabit Capitol Hill. Look, there is the 12 year old who is re-writing insurance regulation for the entire country. Over there with the beer in his hand trying to slip the date rape drug in that woman’s drink is the cock sucker who is drafting the latest funding bill for Iraq.

  10. Wouldn’t matter, John. We are a celebrity-mad culture and politicians are celebrities.

  11. My first WTF was reserved for Waters. My second is for the list itself: WTF?

  12. One of my old girlfriends was a bar tender at a swamk place in Washington. They would routinely get congress critters who would try to play the “don’t you know who I am?” card. The response would always be a dead panned “no”. And then after they claimed to be congressman so and so, the answer would be, “there are 535 of you in this town, so what?”

  13. To be fair. Rep. Waters is #5, not #2. The other ladies on the list are nice-looking, and one or two of them are great.

    Putting Waters on the list is kind of like the punch line to the joke about the union official who went to a union whorehouse. Seeing a pretty hooker named Brandi, he said, ‘I want that one.’ The madam replied, ‘I’m sure you do, but Maxine here has senority.’

  14. WTF indeed. Is Waters a personal friend of whoever made the list? Did she pay someone off? Hell, even Boxer and Pelosi are better looking, which isn’t saying a whole lot.

  15. Of course, if I were doing the joke right, I would start off with the union official going to two other whorehouses, only to storm away when he learned they were non-union. The mystic number three needs to be involved for a joke to meet all the regulations.

  16. The down(up?)side of this for people like Maxine is that when she scours the Intertubes for the buzz on the list — we all know they can’t resist — she’ll also ingest all the comments about how astoundingly ugly she is.

    She could probably dodge the comparisons to a Klumps character before this.

  17. Bachmann is way hotter (and bat shit crazy to boot)

    Bachmann is a bit of a MILF, and may very well bring the crazy to the sack.

  18. I am assuming that SugarFree has not commented yet because he is busy crafting yet another masterpiece of sick, sick porn.

  19. For those that actually opened the link there was a shockingly bad surprise at #6 right behind Waters, does he have down-syndrome? Also, a shockingly beautiful surprise at #9, she definitely should have won. The fact that a white man won is so sexist a racist.

  20. I’m anxiously awaiting the video captures leaked from the Feinstein, Waxman, Frank 3 way.
    My god, I’m trembling with anticipation.

  21. For arguably the state with the most attractive people in the country, CA really sends some ugly ass fuckers to DC. Maybe that’s to get them away for a while?

  22. described as emetic

    I admit it, I had to look this up.

  23. When my dick saw that picture of Waters, it tried to crawl away.

  24. How did Henry Waxman not make the list?

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  25. No Jeff Flake

  26. Feministing’s list probably has Schumer at the top. He looks like a lesbian.

  27. To be fair. Rep. Waters is #5, not #2.

    Welch’s comment was “second highest elected politican”. Since the list included non-elected people in the political process, where the hell was Hillary’s aide?

    Hell, even Boxer and Pelosi are better looking…

    Pelosi might have actually been good looking at one point. Say, when the Big Bopper was still alive.

  28. OK, now that Waxman is out of the way, I think I’ll puke a second time. Nothing is worse than an attractive politician (Maxine Waters notwithstanding), as they make people’s heads turn to even more mush. Leave the lookers to Hollywood where they belong.

    Old Woman: Are you gonna take care of the crime problem here?

    Dennis: Absolutely. I say we put ’em on buses and ship ’em over to Iraq, make ’em fight the terrorists.

    Old Woman: (smiling) You’re very handsome.

  29. Tremble before me, mortals!

  30. Poor Barack. When Maxine Waters beats you in the looks department, you know that you are in polling free fall.

  31. Just wait until the Maxine Water / Helen Thomas sex tape gets leaked.

  32. Everything is beautiful in its own way.

  33. Number 9 is a former Miss America and she is some Congress critter’s “scheduler”. What a sesspool Washington is.

    The Cuban chick and number 4 is very hot.

  34. “impressively high footwear,”

    All the better to grind into the neck of taxpayers…

  35. WTF
    to infinity and beyond

  36. Some people just don’t know how to type a joke.

  37. My recollection is that Capitol Hill is very well supplied with very good-looking young women working as aides and whatnot. Their top ten looks like more of a random selection.

  38. For arguably the state with the most attractive people in the country, CA really sends some ugly ass fuckers to DC. Maybe that’s to get them away for a while?

    The beautiful people find more legitimate forms of employment, such as being strippers and celebrity spokesmodels.

    My recollection is that Capitol Hill is very well supplied with very good-looking young women working as aides and whatnot. Their top ten looks like more of a random selection.

    Oh yeah. Congressmen and rock stars are the two groups of ugly guys that attract succulent young groupies. And, in either case, it’s difficult for the roadies to get in on that action.

  39. I can’t believe how insensitive some people are. Even in today’s society it isn’t easy for a transsexual to be come out yet alone be a politician and Maxine should be being praised for his courage. Not only is he unafraid to be himself but to do such a great job at fulfilling his duty to the voters of California to make a “50 most dutiful” list is amazing. I’ll admit that imagining MY grandfather walking around in “four-inch stiletto heels” is a little disconcerting, and Maxine may make Wesley Snipes in “To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar” look infinitely doable. But come on, it’s the “50 most dutiful” not the “50 most beautiful” and we should be commending him on the job he is doing.

    Wait, Maxine is a woman????? And it is the “50 most beautiful”??

    Ummmmm Never Mind

  40. Since you guys brought up Feministing I had to waddle over there and I found this lovely picture. I want to put it on a t-shirt, sans the subtitle.

  41. Let me just chime in with my vote for most “beautiful” congressperson:

    This Guy

    Muahhhhahahahahaha

  42. Waters separated at birth from Stephen Tyler.

  43. I presume Waters is on the list for the same reason Michelle Obama is proclaimed as “beautiful”.

  44. I presume Waters is on the list for the same reason Michelle Obama is proclaimed as “beautiful”.

    Willingness to be fisted?

  45. I would totally think Maxine Waters is hot, if I were attracted to men in wigs.

  46. Wow. I just looked at the rest of the “beautiful” list. Naturally, I’m now thinking of gluing a nail in my peehole.

  47. OMG someone has professed an attraction to a woman who does not conform to my personal standards of beauty.

    Please correct this mistake immediately while my penis gently weeps.

  48. Ellie, welcome! You came from feministing, right?

  49. Hi, Episarch! I finally found the time to post on H&R between not shaving my armpits, going through library books with a red pen to correct the spelling of “women” as “womyn,” and naming my vibrators after white male oppressors.

  50. Rep. Waters looks like Cleveland Cavaliers coach Mike Brown, only wearing a wig. I shit you not.

    I presume Waters is on the list for the same reason Michelle Obama is proclaimed as “beautiful”.

    The First Lady’s not bad-looking, but see my above comment about Rep. Waters.

  51. Watch out, Ellie, you are encroaching onto SugarFree’s snark patent.

    Also, since you’re new here: we make fun of EVERYBODY. ALL THE TIME. For the shallowest of reasons. Especially Henry Waxman.

  52. 2, 4, 7, 8, 9 aren’t bad

  53. Actually, i should clarify. It is not shallow to make fun of Waxman’s hideousness, because he is as ugly on the inside as he looks on the outside.

  54. I don’t think a woman should be considered “beautiful” if she’s conceivably a dude wearing a wig.

  55. It is not shallow to make fun of Waxman’s hideousness, because he is as ugly on the inside as he looks on the outside.

    Yeah, if he were a nice guy or something, I’d feel bad, but no dice.

  56. Yeah, if he were a nice guy or something, I’d feel bad, but no dice.

    Exactly! The dude is basically an orc.

  57. “I presume Waters is on the list for the same reason Michelle Obama is proclaimed as “beautiful”.”

    Which is the same reason Barack is proclaimed “brilliant” and “eloquent.”

    BTW, I haven’t heard any news about the TOTUS since the day it attempted suicide. Is it O.K.?

  58. So much trash in the cesspool that is DC.

  59. Sorry, Xeones, that was some joke fail on my part. I’m not new; I actually run the forums where all the coolest H&R commenters hang out. We’ve been trying to contact you off-H&R to give you a personal invite, since we think you rock, but we haven’t had any luck so far. Anyway, you can email me if you ever want to stop by.

    Now, back to the topic!

  60. Peter,

    As for #9, that’s one of the huge reasons I stayed here in NC after college rather than go back to New England.

    A fine decision if I may say so myself!

  61. Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

  62. I’d hit it.

    Waters was put in there to get media to do just what Reason did. Spread the word. Someone is sitting at their desk laughing.

  63. I’m not new; I actually run the forums where all the coolest H&R commenters hang out.

    [Stares a hole through Naga Sadow]

  64. Wait a minute… is it “racist” to comment on Maxine Waters’ lack of visual pleasantitude?

    Probably.

  65. “To be fair. Rep. Waters is #5, not #2.”

    Yes, that’s so much better. So The Hill’s staff thinks that there 530 Congresscritter’s less visually appealing than Maxine Water’s? Either sense of aesthetics needs a retool or this country one ug-ly natipna; legislature.

  66. That’s supposed to be “national legislature”.

  67. I had no idea you could rank sphincter muscles on their beauty. Do they have a talent portion as well?

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.