Bubbles Jackson: Alive, Well, But Too Violent to Go to Jacko's Funeral (Wherever it will be)

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Just as Wham!'s George Michael had his Andrew Ridgely, Michael Jackson had a mostly silent and apparently useless pal during his superstar heyday: Bubbles the Chimp, immortalized by Jeff Koons and beloved by fans.

So what's up with Bubbles these days? We report, you decide:

There have been many rumours regarding Bubbles's whereabouts, the most recent being that he had been plastinated a number of years ago and was being exhibited at The Body Worlds & Mirror Of Time exhibition at the O2 Centre in London.

Jackson rescued Bubbles from a cancer research centre and in the late Eighties, the pair travelled everywhere together.

He sat in for the recording sessions of the smash-hit Bad album and during the ensuing world tour he and the singer shared a two bedroom hotel suite.

At Neverland, he slept in a crib in Jackson's bedroom and was allowed to use the star's private toilet.

That last, btw, is a privilege denied former Jacksonian Corey Feldman.

The 26-year-old chimpanzee has been discovered alive and well at an animal sanctuary in Florida.

Now bosses at the Centre for Great Apes in Wauchula, Florida, have allowed TV cameras to film Bubbles to prove he was still alive.

Jackson banished the monkey not for telling tales out of school but because he reportedly became violent around the singer's children.

For Bubbles fans only, go here.

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  1. Dear Editors,
    For a site called “reason” there’s way too much Jacko argle bargle. Knock it off.

    Print Subscriber
    Warren

  2. You gotta admit Warren, this post is pretty funny.

    “That last, btw, is a privilege denied former Jacksonian Corey Feldman.”

    Corey Feldman–not better than an ape.

  3. Dear Editors,

    Y’all got some serious server squirrel problems this morning.

    Love,
    Xeones

    PS. More Jackson coverage plz

  4. Wait a minute — is this post racist?

  5. Y’all got some serious server squirrel problems this morning.

    Ah, that’s a relief, I thought I was the only one with squirrels.

  6. There is a strong positive correlation between Michael Jackson posts and the Evony ad with the orgasming busty Valkyrie princess. So keep the Jacko posts coming.

    Xeones,

    I think you’re right, since both Bubbles and Barack won’t be at the funeral, Reason seems to be comparing the two.

  7. I think you’re right, since both Bubbles and Barack won’t be at the funeral, Reason seems to be comparing the two.

    Obviously. joe should be back any moment.

  8. Obviously. joe should be back any moment.

    No, no, its the monkey racism that keeps joe away.

  9. No, no, its the monkey racism that keeps joe away.

    But first he has to come back and explain why we’re all wrong. THEN he will leave again indefinitely for parts unknown.

  10. Wow, monkeys live that long?

    Why do dogs not live that long?

  11. Because dogs are dumb and chimps are brilliant.

    OK, you got me. It’s so they can evolve to take over the world when humans get to lazy and animalistic.

  12. I hear tortoises live long too. I’ve always been curious as to why this animal lives so much longer than another…Maybe some of them took a dump in the Garden of Eden or something and got punished…

  13. There’s a tortoise still living in London that was brought there by Charles Darwin, MNG. Elephants and some types of parrots live to be about 80 years old. Nobody knows how long the big whales live, but there’s evidence it can be more than a century.

  14. “There’s a tortoise still living in London that was brought there by Charles Darwin, MNG.”

    Holy smokes! What did they do to get on God’s good side?

  15. How come we never see Bubbles & Barack in the same photo’s? Suspicious to say the least.

  16. How come we never see Bubbles & Barack in the same photos?

    Because she’s usually out back gardening.

    [/joe bait]

  17. Props to Gillespie for including a picture of one of my favorite pop art pieces of all time. One needs to see it in real life to appreciate how grotesque and disturbing it truly is.

  18. Koons is such a sick fuck.

  19. The 26-year-old chimpanzee has been discovered alive and well at an animal sanctuary in Florida.

    To be, or not to be, that is the gzzrn nplazst

  20. Did MJ commission Koons to make that thing? Because if I were the king of pop, I might have a hard time paying for the ‘art’.

  21. Monkey! Monkey! Bubbles is an APE god damn it! How dare you call him a monkey!

  22. Seconding what IceTrey said.

    CHIMPS AREN’T MONKEYS!

  23. If nothing else, this thread has been worth it for introducing me to the phrase “argle-bargle.”

    I’m going to have to work that in to a conversation sometime this week.

  24. a “damned dirty ape” by any chance?

  25. Charlton Heston was a real prick on set.

  26. Bubbles tried to eat Jackson’s babies.

  27. Chimps, face-eating, Michael Jackson – there’s a joke in there somewhere.

  28. 26 years isn’t that old. Cheeta, the chimpanzee from most of the Weissmuller Tarzans (but not the first couple) is still alive at the age of 77. He’s the world’s oldest non-human primate.

  29. The zoo in Birmingham Al. has 2 large silverback gorillas in the same exhibit. I sat one day for about 45 minutes with them just on the other side of the glass. They were looking at me quizically. They seemed to be saying, “hey, what the fuck did we ever do to you. Let us outta here!”

  30. I used to keep an adult chimp at my house, but he had to go after he bit my gonads 47 times and pulled both my arms out of their sockets.

    I still miss him though…

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