Michael Phelps…remember him?
He's almost 24 and has seven world records. This guy won more medals than any other Olympian (16) and half of those at a single Olympics, which is a record that hadn't been broken since 1972. He was the Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year. He was the spokesman for Rosetta Stone. He was on the Wheeties box! He was snapped taking a bong hit at a party. Then he was suspended from competitive swimming for three months.
Here's what Phelps said at the practice pool yesterday:
"It was a stupid mistake that I made….But I'll have what I've accomplished in and out of the pool for the rest of my life. I'm satisfied with what I've done and happy with what I've done."
I take it back. I don't apologize.
Because you know what? It's none of your goddamned business….If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that's a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.