And Could We Bring Back Armistice Day, Too?

Bill Kauffman contrasts Earth Day with the holiday that used to occupy April 22:

The difference between Arbor Day and Earth Day is the difference between planting a tree in your backyard and e-mailing a machine-written plea for a global warming treaty to your UN representative.

Comments

[Alan Vanneman]

Can we bring back spellcheck too? Or is this a headline I don't get.

[the innominate one]

machines can write?

[Warty]

I'm glad I took the high road. Shut the fuck up, pelling spedants.

Can Memorial Day become Decoration Day again, while we're at it?

[IceTrey]

I never realized Arbor Day had been co-opted for Earth Day. Hm.

[Jesse Walker]

Fixed. Who needs spellcheck when we have the ever-helpful Alan Vanneman?

[Jennifer]

I had to spend Earth Day on a hippy-dippy college campus writing stories about their Earth Day celebrations, one of which took place in an overheated building where nobody could figure out how to turn the heat down, so they opened the windows to let the excess heat escape.

Mmmm, them's some damned fine conservation of scarce resources, there. Too bad I can't say that in my article, because I'm supposed to be all Warm and Supportive and Kum-by-yah about it.

Frigging hippies.

[Pro Libertate]

When is Spell-Check Day?

[the innominate one]

more importantly, when is mustache ride day?

[BakedPenguin]

When is Spell-Check Day?

Smarch 33.

[Cluster]

"Too bad I can't say that in my article, because I'm supposed to be all Warm and Supportive and Kum-by-yah about it."

Selling out?

[Alan Vanneman]

Who needs spellcheck when we have the ever-helpful Alan Vanneman?

Particularly when he works for free. If only I could correct your thinking as easily as I correct your spelling! Particularly since the former is so much worse than the latter!

[Urkobold&trade]

ON OR NEAR MAMMORIAL DAY, THE INNOMINATE ONE.

[Mike]

On May 22nd, I'm going to start "Technology Day" where people should drive their cars, watch TV, turn on their air-conditioners, and write their UN Representative a letter about how the UN needs to do more to promote technology.

[Jennifer]

Selling out?

Just don't feel like wasting time writing things I know will be cut out during the editorial process. "Let us all embrace Mother Gaia, preferably around her neck, until the whiny bitch stops breathing" WILL be changed to "We must support the earth."

[Jennifer]

And all the earth's creatures, too. Can't forget the little crawling critters.

[Marvin]

The Earth? Oh, the Earth will be gone in just a few seconds. I'm going to blow it up. It obstructs my view of Venus.

[ed]

I'm leaving my lights on tonight in memoriam to Jennifer's defeated soul.

[Xeones]

Oh. I wondered what happened to Arbor Day.

[Warty]

Jennifer, you should switch to a less degrading career and become a bukakke model. I hear it's not so bad as long as you keep your eyes closed.

[Paul]

machines can write?

Yes.

Who needs spellcheck when we have the ever-helpful Alan Vanneman?

Particularly when he works for free.

What do you charge to go away?

[Jennifer]

The economy sucks the red hairy sulfurous balls of Satan, guys. I'm still looking for something better, but in the meantime ... being a bukkake model would probably make my face break out, and looking in the mirror is hard enough without having to deal with acne.

[ed]

being a bukkake model

There's an opening here since joe left.

[Episiarch]

machines can write?

I heard that Robert Jordan was a machine. He had to be, right?

[Marc]

I heard that Robert Jordan was a machine. He had to be, right?

I think a machine could have cranked out the remaining 26 books in the series before expiring.

[Warty]

Burn you, Epi, for bringing up that wool-headed man.

[Hazel Meade]

Arbor Day was cool holiday. Much cooler than Earth Day.
Ironically more nature-centric too.

Arbor Day was a good day for hanging out in the park enjoying the beauty of trees and the shade under them. It encouraged you to actually look at trees. Maybe take out a sketch pad and draw a few.

'Earth' is just too abstract. It's a big ball that can only be seen in photographs taken from outerspace. Distant. Clinical. A Logo.

'Earth Day' reminds me of things like plastic water bottles and recycling bins and stupid activists waving placards.

'Arbor Day' makes me thing of hanging out in a gazebo under some nice trees in a park.

[P Brooks]

Trees capture CO2, don't they?

What if we...

Naaah

[economist]

My derision towards Earth Day is lessened not at all by the fact that one of its founders was a psycho who chopped up a woman and hid her in a trunk.

[economist]

Earth Day is for hippies to talk about how much Republicans suck and how cars, factories, and guns suck, and how they wish we could all live in harmony with nature.

Naturally, I drink myself utterly sodden on days like these.

[cuernimus]

Trees capture CO2, don't they?

What if we...

Naaah

Actually, I think we should start growing a lot of grasses and then start burying them in old abandoned mines. This way we bury our carbon AND provide fossil fuels for the hyper-intelligent apes that will take over the world several million years from now. It's a no-brainer, which means the environmentalists will get behind it.

[economist]

"This way we bury our carbon AND provide fossil fuels for the hyper-intelligent apes that will take over the world several million years from now."

YOU SAID "APES"! THAT'S RACIST!

[ChicagoTom]

more importantly, when is mustache ride day?

Every day is mustache ride day!

[Brandybuck]

He hits the nail on the head. Did anyone plant a tree today? ANYONE? Maybe some aging conservative conservationists did but I doubt any leftist greenies did. Mucking about in the soil is something lesser people do.

[ed]

NBC did their part by turning their logo green.
It's penance for polluting the culture with crappy programming.

[bill]

Hold on. The Arbor Day Foundation says Arbor day is the last Friday in April. That would be the 24th. Not only do you need spell check you also need date check.

[Kolohe]

Actually, I think we should start growing a lot of grasses and then start burying them in old abandoned mines

Have we ever solved the problem of the mineshaft gap?

[crimethink]

Thought today was the commemoration of St. Acepsimas of Hnaita, a bishop who was tortured on the rack and whipped to death in Persia in 376 for refusing to worship the sun.

I wonder what he would think about worshipping Mother Earth.

[Jesse Walker]

Hold on. The Arbor Day Foundation says Arbor day is the last Friday in April. That would be the 24th. Not only do you need spell check you also need date check.

I said "used to occupy," Bill. From the article I linked to:

The date of Arbor Day has always varied from state to state, usually depending on the planting season. Its very lack of fixity was part of its charm. California observes it on March 7, Luther Burbank's birthday, but before its most recent transplantation to the last Friday in April (this year the 24th), most states declared it to be April 22, the birthdate of J. Sterling Morton of Nebraska City, the father of Arbor Day.

[jtuf]

I've got three new trees in front of my home by the street. I hope at least two of them take root.

[kinnath]

Didn't plant any trees today, but we did blow up some rodents in our vineyard management class.

Can you say "Rodenator"?

[Suki]

I thought it was John Lennon's birthday?

[James Kabala]

They still had Arbor Day when I was a kid (1980s-early 1990s). Is it really true that schools today ignore it? That would be a shame.

Does anyone know the truth or falsehood behind the claim that far leftists deliberately placed Earth Day on Lenin's birthday? I've seen it repeated many times on conservative websites as a known fact, but I did an extensive Google search a year ago (or maybe it was even two years; time flies) and had a hard time finding hard evidence for the claim. Of course, such evidence might exist in newspapers or magazines from the pre-Internet age. Does anyone know?

[hmm]

I'm a bit of a tree hugger in a more literal sense. So I have an affinity for Arbor Day. Fuck Earth Day and the global warming nazis.

[Syd]

Arbor Day varies from location to location. We had it locally sbout three weeks ago.

[Invisible Finger]

I planted a tree in my yard last week. Took out a section of weeds to do it. Net gain to the environment - absolutely zero. Replacing one plant with another plant doesn't make any environmental difference.

The whole point is to NOT put up another building or another parking lot - leave the forest, or prairie or field of weeds alone. The largest constructor of needless buildings, over-sized parking lots, etc. is government. But hey, at least the parking lots have plenty of little stone-covered islands to make them look pretty - protected species like the Canada Goose use them to breed in numbers higher than ever in history. Goose poop bacteria hasn't hurt anyone, has it? Funny how all the species protection legislation didn't do jack shit for the Canada Goose but all the unrelated parking lot beautification laws did. Of course, the parking lot is now loaded with goose shit and makes the parking lot an eyesore, but it's the half-baked thought that counts.

I say we tear down a school and let weeds grow. Put the kids in an already-existing over-sized classroom, they'll have enough room to do their pointless work. The teachers will just have to forgo a little on-the-job luxury, that's all. Then again, there's the Detroit School building shown on Hit 'n' Run a few weeks back. Seems like we're already doing it without even intending to.