How to Stimulate the Economy, UK Edition: Make Friends with (Type II) Diabetics!

Nobody does make-work jobs like our friends in Great Britain. According to the (London) Times, local councils "have been accused of wasting millions of pounds of public money on pointless jobs, including a £23,000-a-year composting supervisor, a toothbrush adviser for infants and a ceremonial sword bearer."

An audit of local government positions, obtained under freedom of information legislation, reveals jobs that are far removed from the core remit of councils and appear to be of questionable value.

They include trampoline coaches, skate park attendants, flower arrangers, a "befriending co-ordinator" and a £15-an-hour yoga instructor.

No details are provided by The Times for the plum position of "befriending coordinator," though one needn't file a freedom of information request to find a current vacancy in Tower Hamlets, London. According to this listing (pdf), the British government is currently seeking a "befriending coordinator" capable of "establish[ing] a network of Bengali and Somali volunteers who can provide practical and moral support to Bengali and Somali people living with type 2 diabetes in Tower Hamlets." The full-time position, according to the ad, demands 35 hours a week, offers 30 days of paid holidays, and pays approximately $36,000.

In Scotland, home to countless unemployed women with angelic voices and a population slowly creeping up on the U.S. in the fattest-country-in-the-world sweepstakes, one can earn a part time government wage teaching oral hygiene to kids:

In Scotland, Angus council employs a "bouncy castle attendant" on a salary of £13,000, while Falkirk pays a part-time "toothbrush assistant" £3,032 to teach nursery children how to clean their teeth. The council also employs a "cheerleading development officer".

In Glasgow, taxpayers are funding a £17,000-a-year "street mediator" to deal with children hanging around on street corners, a florist on a £17,800 salary and a "chewing gum removal labourer".

Jacob Sullum on whether Obama's American Recovery and Reinvestment Act will create jobs or create make-work jobs.

Comments

[Blue]

Well, if they are going to be "GREEN" jobs, they'll be something like 'plant massuese.'

[R C Dean]

Angus council employs a "bouncy castle attendant" on a salary of ?13,000

You don't say. Urkobold, any insights on this, er, position?

[Xeones]

I'm glad my ancestors left that place and crossed the North Atlantic, even if all it bought me was six months or so.

[Paul]

Jacob Sullum on whether Obama's American Recovery and Reinvestment Act will create jobs or create make-work jobs.

Obama's job is a makework job.

Hiring: President

Must make speeches, promise change, talk about hope. Discuss bridges to 21st century. Talk down economy, then talk up economy. Promise to make economy better. Discuss creating or saving millions of jobs. Policies and programs of previous administration will already be in place. Feel free to expand as necessary.

[Episiarch]

the British government is currently seeking a "befriending coordinator"

"Befriending new people can lead to having sex with your children, accidentally."

[Sick Bastard]

"The council also employs a "cheerleading development officer"."

My dream job awaits!

[lunchstealer]

The biggest make-work job of all? Queen. The Hellen Mirren kind, not the Freddy Mercury kind.

[MaterialMonkee]

"In Scotland, home to countless unemployed women with angelic voices and a population slowly creeping up on the U.S. in the fattest-country-in-the-world sweepstakes"

Just Imagine how fat they'd be if it wasn't for all the smack!

sorry

someone had to crack that one 🙂

[dbcooper]

This recent BBC documentary may be germane:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00jzjzp

May Contain Nuts

Health and safety began with the noble aim of protecting workers from dangerous conditions in heavy industry. Nowadays, health and safety officials seem ready to pounce on all aspects of our working lives, from building work to the sound levels musicians can play at, or even the weight and size of our gravestones.

The culture has been driven by lawyers encouraging claims for almost any accident, while leaving just 125 inspectors to enforce safety on building sites across the UK.

Panorama investigates why the deadly serious matter of health and safety has become a laughing stock.

[SugarFree]

Ah, the lonely Scottish diabetic... With only a Scottish egg to keep him company...

[Brett Stevens]

It's a shame, because we have no shortage of tasks we actually need people to do, like patrolling the ghetto, removing litter, rebuilding rotting buildings, etc.

Imagine if we hired most of these people as cops.

[Paul]

If I've said it once, I've said it a couple of times. When health departments turned away from real and immediate dangers, and started concentrating on contextual dangers, we knew two things:

1. We live in a pretty amazing society that overall, is damned safe.
2. We are about to lose a lot of freedom through "death by a thousand cuts".

If a real outbreak of something nasty ever happens, health and safety departments won't have the tools or expertise to deal with it.

[JB]

If I can get money and immunity from prosecution, I am willing to punch government employees in the face as a job.

Heck, I don't even need the money.

[R C Dean]

If a real outbreak of something nasty ever happens, health and safety departments won't have the tools or expertise to deal with it.

Oh, I dunno. As near as I can tell, they have a nearly limitless supply of tools on the payroll. Expertise? That's a different story.

[Brandybuck]

Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy, bouncy?

[wage slave]

Sack the toothbrushing advisers and blood sugar buddies by all means, but dammit, keep your hands off the ceremonial sword bearer!

[LarryA]

Imagine if we hired most of these people as cops.

Balko's on that one. It ain't pretty.

There are a lot of people in the U.S. doing similar jobs, but most of them are volunteers. For instance, we have a local firing squad for veteran's funerals, all volunteer.

[Abdul]

You learn new things every day on this site. I always thought Monty Python was an absurd parody of British culture. Turns out, it was actually a documentary program.

[Dental Fort Myers]

Very interesting kind of job that is.