One More Sign of Hard Times: Vasectomies Increase

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Unemployment up, housing prices down, federal budget deficits soaring, bankruptcies galore, stock markets collapsing—amidst all these signs of economic and financial disarray, add one more—vasectomies are on the increase.

vasectomy cartoon

That's according to an article in HealthDay News which reports:

Doctors around the United States are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since the economy soured last year, with one noting that many of his clients are from the beleaguered financial industry.

Their best guess is that the trend is due both to a decreased desire to have children because of the expense involved, and an increased desire to get such medical procedures done before their jobs—and health insurance—disappear.

Whole article here.

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  1. If only Congress were doing the same.

  2. Their best guess is that the trend is due both to a decreased desire to have children because of the expense involved, and an increased desire to get such medical procedures done before their jobs — and health insurance — disappear

    At any rate they won’t be able to breed any longer – and that could be a good thing.

  3. My best guess is that they do not want to bring a child into this socialistic nation.

  4. Well, during hard times there are always cuts.

    Kevin

  5. When you’re broke, it’s a terrible time to knock up a random bar skank. It becomes a more fiscally irresponsible decision to gamble on condoms, bar skanks are more likely to lie about being on birth control in order to secure a payday, and since you are dating below your previous level due to economic contraction you have to be especially careful even in a committed relationship of your female partner looking for a 2 year fatten-up vacation.

    Children are a luxury item, a product for conspicuous consumption.

    Increased vasectomies in a bad economy is a supremely rational decision.

  6. …during hard times there are always cuts.

    (snicker)

  7. It certainly puts having to take a pay cut in perspective.

  8. I blame the Octomom.

  9. Unfortunately, it’s only the intelligent ones who are getting the vasectomies.

  10. When you’re broke, it’s a terrible time to knock up a random bar skank.

    When is it not a terrible time to do that?

  11. Doug, while Idiocracy comes to mind, you could look at it a different way. My smart kids will have less competition for the intelligent person jobs. I’m not really concerned about the competition among the increasing masses of stupid people.

  12. When is it not a terrible time to do that?

    It never is, but when have the money to get out of town…

    Although, you’re right. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

  13. Unfortunately, it’s only the intelligent ones who are getting the vasectomies.

    Only the government can be trusted to make these decisions.

    Right, ToffeeSlurpee?

  14. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

    Great bounding Jesus on a pogo stick!
    Don’t they teach you kids anything in school anymore?

  15. Although, you’re right. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

    Hey, slow down there, chief. The message is “pull out of bar skanks–just in case”; no need to go as far as you did.

  16. P Brooks,

    Was that for me?

    If you get right down to it, everybody should agree that most of the people of non-color in the west should be sterilized. But short of that only those lacking Arts and Sciences degrees should be fine.

    Should still gove people a choice, like a 1000% wealth tax instead of the operation at a free government facility.

  17. More vasectomies = bad news for social security. Pyramid schemes don’t do well when you run out of new suckers to sign up.

  18. Doug, while Idiocracy comes to mind, you could look at it a different way. My smart kids will have less competition for the intelligent person jobs. I’m not really concerned about the competition among the increasing masses of stupid people.

    Now Nick, everybody knows that your kids are no more intelligent than anybody else. Everyone should go to college and everyone should get a master’s degree, and once we increase the demand for higher education fast enough that we’re hiring mostly substandard professors to handle the load, grade inflation and ignorance will make it sufficiently difficult for anyone to be able to discern one person and their abilities from another based on indicators that were previously reliable, yet we’ll still rely on them.

  19. “Doug, while Idiocracy comes to mind, you could look at it a different way. My smart kids will have less competition for the intelligent person jobs. I’m not really concerned about the competition among the increasing masses of stupid people.”

    Thanks, Nick, that’s a good point. I was about to self-destruct. You pulled me back from the edge. 🙂

    Aaaaand Reinmoose pushed me right back over… >sigh

  20. Doug, take solace in the fact that while Reinmoose may be right, if you supplement your child’s education in some meaningful way, at least they will know the way it should be even if they are mired in the reality of shitty schools. This will make them condescending to other students without those students knowing it. Probably toward teachers, too. And that’s always fun.

  21. “Doctors around the United States are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since the economy soured last year, with one noting that many of his clients are from the beleaguered financial industry. ”

    This is similar to what the average dumbass american voter is asking congress to do to the financial industry big wheels.

  22. Although, you’re right. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

    Most certainly, this is NOT a message I can get behind.

  23. “Hey, slow down there, chief. The message is “pull out of bar skanks–just in case”; no need to go as far as you did.”

    Next up: Government regulation of bar skanks.

  24. Doctors around the United States are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since the economy soured last year, with one noting that many of his clients are from the beleaguered financial industry.

    I guess once you’ve been neutered by the markets belatedly catching up to you, what’s a little surgery?

  25. Maybe it’s finally time to come up with an ISO standard for bar skanks.

  26. My smart kids will have less competition for the intelligent person jobs.

    There isn’t a fixed-length Intelligent Person Job List out there, getting shorter every time one gets filled. Intelligent entrepreneurs create jobs for themselves and for other intelligent people, and the effects multiply. The engineer who fills a job designing industrial machines creates a job for the programmer who automates them. The programmer creates a job for the systems administrator, etc. Repeat a million times and you’ve got the difference between a first-world and third-world country. It’s counter-intuitive, but to get an intelligent person’s job you often want to be in the place with the most competition for that job, not the least.

    I’m not really concerned about the competition among the increasing masses of stupid people.

    Why not? You’ll still end up paying for the losers in that competition. The central planners are already getting away with taxpayer giveaways to the rich; how much harder will it be to stop your kids’ salaries from being given away to the poor?

  27. Maybe it’s finally time to come up with an ISO standard for bar skanks.

    Sounds like a Lean Six Sigma full employment act proposal.

  28. SugarFree | March 23, 2009, 11:32am | #

    When is it not a terrible time to do that?

    It never is, but when have the money to get out of town…

    Although, you’re right. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

    I wish I got that warning before I met my ex.

  29. I wish I got that warning before I met my ex.

    If he got pregnant shouldn’t that be big news all by itself?

  30. roystgnr, Third World countries tend to work out nicely for the few smart people in them. They own everything and have homes in the US where they spend most of their time. So when the US becomes one of those countries, my kids can own everything and vacation in the smarter countries. I never said it was good for a lot of smart people, but it’s based on the idea that there are very few smart people left. I’ll educate them about tax havens, too.

  31. Old Bull Lee | March 23, 2009, 11:37am | #

    More vasectomies = bad news for social security. Pyramid schemes don’t do well when you run out of new suckers to sign up.

    I think individual couples are in the best postion to decide if birth control is good or bad in a given situation. However, you bring up a good point. We’ve got to stop building our society on the backs of future generations, especially if those future generations will be less numerous.

  32. Roe v. Wade is the real reason our economy is in the crapper. We are missing 45,000,000 taxpayers.

  33. TofuSushi | March 23, 2009, 1:03pm | #

    I wish I got that warning before I met my ex.

    If he got pregnant shouldn’t that be big news all by itself?

    My ex is female, I’m male. Do I really have to explain the details to you?

  34. Oh no I didn’t.

  35. jtuf,

    Now I know you are trolling. Nothing you have ever posted indicated you being of the breeder classes.

  36. redactedbrotherben, it depends on how you measure the economy. Wealth per person isn’t affected much by the population size as long as it is over a few million and the people have access to new ideas from other countries. Total wealth does depends heavily on the population.

  37. TofuSushi, SurgarFree brought up skanks. That reminded me of my ex. I’m sorry if my jest offended you, but I think it was a bit arrogant for you to assume you knew my gender and my ex’s gender.

  38. Stop being so heterosensitive.

  39. jtuf, I was just bein douchey.
    I’ve heard church folks make the argument that the difficulty in supporting an aging boomer population is caused by the loss of tens of millions of taxpayers to abortion. I suggested it here on another thread long ago. Someone, i don’t remember whom, posted the argument here with some links suggesting that population growth was about the same as before roe v wade.

  40. “Doctors around the United States are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since the economy soured last year”

    Reporting to whom?

  41. Oh, thanks for the clarification brotherben. No problem.

  42. TofuSushi | March 23, 2009, 1:30pm | #

    Stop being so heterosensitive.

    I wasn’t.

  43. “Stop being so heterosensitive.”

    fucking. goddamn. tiresom.

  44. Although, you’re right. The message should be: Don’t fuck bar skanks.

    Hey, slow down there, chief. The message is “pull out of bar skanks–just in case”; no need to go as far as you did.

    No, you’re both wrong. The real message should be: Fuck bar skanks only in the pooper.

  45. “Fuck bar skanks only in the pooper.”

    Why would I fuck them in the bathroom???

  46. cornshucker.

    Reason is 4Chan.

  47. Cheaper than a hotel and they still won’t get your address.

    Although a still prefer parking lots or side streets.

  48. Fuck bar skanks only in the pooper.

    Ew. No. Bar skanks are notorious ass queefers. You’ll get that shit all over you. Literally.

  49. Cheaper than a hotel and they still won’t get your address.

    Beyond that, the advantage of using the bar bathroom is that when you’re done with her you’re still at the bar so you can easily go get another. Take her home and you’re pretty much stuck with just her for the night.

    Headin’ for the crib, tired brother
    Thinking I was through ’till I spotted me another

  50. Never let a bar skank into your home. It’s worse than letting a hippie use your futon.

  51. Wait, are you guys disrespecting womyn? That should be a punishable offense.

  52. Never let a bar skank into your home. It’s worse than letting a hippie use your futon.

    No address, no phone number, no license plates for fuck’s sake. Go to her place.

    “Brett, she’s locked me in. She’s trapped me.”

    “Jump out the window.”

  53. Yea, Epi, like it is possible for womyn to rape men.

  54. Spoof troll foul.

    Rape is never funny.

    Go to your shame corner and think about what you’ve done for ten minutes.

  55. SF,

    Thanks for calling Epi out on that too.

    now, when you stop debasing womyn I may take you seriously.

  56. Ladies, always remember: swallowing means you never get knocked up. AND you remain a virgin!!!

  57. Women are the niggers of the world.

  58. OK, TofuSushi, you’ve lost me. Could you please define heterosensitive? It wasn’t in webster, so I googled it. From the context in the webpages, I gathered that heterosensitive means something like “acting feminine”. If that’s right, it doesn’t make sense for you to complain about sexism. Please explain what I’m missing.

  59. I’ll grant that the bar skank debate has gotten off track. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have brought up my ex here. It’s just not the forum for that. Still, I think the debate over skanks did bring up some relevant questions about reproductive options.

    1) Does wealth mitigate the risks of sleeping with skanks by making it more possible to support any issues from the union?

    2) Should skanks be avoided as a general rule, regardless of one’s economic state?

    3) Is sodomy a good way to balance one’s desire for skanks with one’s reluctance to conceive?

    4) How can one avoid the risks associated with bringing a complete stranger into one’s home?

    Yeah, the tone of the debate could have been better, but some valid points where made.

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