List: Greg Gutfield

Media Recession

The Fox News late-night talk show Red Eye mixes equal parts personal and political trash talking. Here host Greg Gutfeld—the former editor of Men's Health, Stuff, and U.K. Maxim—celebrates the effects of the recession on the media with the kind of schadenfreude that can come only from being a fully employed television personality.

1.) No more articles by lazy reporters who decide to "be homeless for a night," because many of these hacks will actually be homeless.

2.) No more magazine-sponsored cruises featuring weird themes and chunky guests creeping you out on the lido deck. We do not need to see Dick Morris in a figure-flattering key lime tunic discussing "ways to stimulate a moribund economy."

3.) No more blogs written by snarky twentysomethings, in a snarky manner, about snarky twentysomethings who do snarky things. Yep, you might actually have to go outside and interview a real person and write about that, without snark or exclamation points!!! (Bonus: a reduction in anonymous blog commentary. Once your boss finds out that you've been spending most of your time creating wordplay combinations of the names Bush and Hitler, you'll be replaced by someone who puts his or her energy to better use, such as making fun of Obama's ears.)