Pornography

Workplace Pornography: A "Virulent Cancer"!

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The Washington Times  unleashes a 750-word editorial on the scourge of Fleshbot culture.

Pornography is a major workplace problem in contemporary American society—and yet few private employers or government managers are willing to talk about it for fear of seeming prudish, or blindly trusting their employees, or being accused of infringing on individual liberties. With these attitudes, porn-at-work has grown like a virulent cancer, robbing employers of work time and wasted wages, causing litigation, and—most important—truly corrupting the minds of offenders while helping a squalid and perverted industry.

Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley, to his credit, has the courage to tackle the issue of pornography at work head on. His action is an opportunity to begin a national conversation on the widespread social effects of Internet porn at the office. Is this the kind of America we want to live in? 

Given that we now have pretty concslusive data that Internet porn actually reduces sex crimes, I'd say yes! The concluding graphs are especially Bork-a-licious:

Some of these employees know full well that they are being monitored—and get an additional thrill for being so brazen and taking such a risk. This bespeaks the magnitude of the porn-at-work phenomenon.

With so many employees now having their own work computers, the workplace has become a center of pornographic voyeurism among some segment of American society. How to respond, beyond more porn-detecting software and greater vigilance, remains to be seen. We claim no answer. But until we discuss the challenges, America will look less and less like a shining "city upon a hill" and more like Sodom and Gomorrah—a land in which workers betray the taxpayers, cheat their employers, embarrass their colleagues, diminish their lovers, and nobody cares.

I find the "additional thrill" line implausible, or at least assumptive of facts not in evidence—unless the editorial writer is testifying.

To be fair, part of the editorial focuses on reports of government workers surfing for porn on the taxpayer dime, which is a legitimate gripe. But then, so is government employees shopping on eBay. And yes, private employers should be able to fire porn addicts without fear of an ADA suit. I've read about one highly-publicized such lawsuit, but is this really a widespread problem?

Beyond that, I fail to see the issue, here. There's plenty of filtering software employers can use to block access to porn if they wish. If an employee's porn habits are making him unproductive, fire him. I hardly think we need a "national conversation" about Felicity Fey (Did I reveal too much?).

Moreover, other than the assertions of breathless editorial writers, there's just not much support for the idea that the widespread availability of porn is "corrupting minds" or morally "cancerous." Just about every social indicator that one might anticipate being affected by the mainstreaming of porn (divorce and abortion rates, sex crimes, sex crimes against children, teen pregnancy, etc.) has for about 15 years generally been moving in a positive direction. That of course would be the very period during which pornography became widely available on the Internet.

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  1. There’s plenty of filtering software employers can use to block access to porn if they wish.

    And it fucking works, too.

    That of course would be the very period during which pornography became widely available on the Internet.

    Causation? Or mere correlation? You make the call!

  2. Perhaps merely a law to balance the type of porn. Presently there is just too much anal on the net.

    Bring back the good old fashion hairy beaver.

  3. PORN!!! It will save society if only we gave it a chance!

  4. Causation? Or mere correlation? You make the call!

    Neither. The point isn’t that porn is responsible for these trends (save for rape rates, see above link), but that the trends undercut the notion that widespread access to porn will be the ruin of society.

  5. It’s not so much the workplace pornography that’s the problem, it’s the workplace masturbation that is really upsetting. Particularly when you work at McDonalds.

  6. …private employers should be able to fire porn addicts without fear of an ADA suit. – Radley

    Sure, especially when not disciplining someone who pr0n-surfs in the workplace might expose the employer to a civil suit from someone who feels “harrassed.”

    “Disciplining”. “Expose”. I hope my post can make it through those at-work filters.

    Kevin

  7. I’ll be in my cubicle.

  8. “it’s the workplace masturbation that is really upsetting. Particularly when you work at McDonalds.”

    Would you like special sauce on that?

  9. Pornography is a major workplace problem in contemporary American society

    [citation needed]

  10. xhamster.com FTW!

  11. It’s not so much the workplace pornography that’s the problem, it’s the workplace masturbation that is really upsetting.

    I agree. Except for hot young female masturbation.

  12. “I hardly think we need a “national conversation” about Felicity Fey”

    Why not? Whoa!

    http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=%22Felicity+Fey%22&gbv=2

  13. Perhaps merely a law to balance the type of porn. Presently there is just too much anal on the net.

    The market has spoken.

  14. “I hardly think we need a “national conversation” about Felicity Fey”

    Tina Fey?

  15. “Bring back the good old fashion hairy beaver.”

    Alas, I have retired.

  16. If the Times is worried about porn corrupting America, why’d they entice us with a picture of porn star Jenna Jamison that you can click to “enlarge?”

  17. Radley, I’m disappointed that you didn’t accompany this article with a prank link to goatse. That would have been so old school.

  18. a land in which workers betray the taxpayers

    What in the fuck is that supposed to mean?

  19. I’m seeing more ATM than I’d like. I think someone is misreading the market. It was cool as a trainwreck at first, but now I think “oh god, more of this…” every time I see it.

    I don’t think politicians, or any public employees, are the most informed people when it comes to what goes on in the private workplace.

  20. Perhaps we could make a trade with the moralists. We agree to outlaw porn in exchange for legalizing cannabis. The beauty is, of course, that they could never really get around the whole interweb thing.

  21. Grassley- what a douche.

    And you know, if Cedar Rapids were (for god knows what reason) the World Hub of Internet Porn, Grassley would be trying to get fifty billion StimulusBux to subsidize it.

  22. “I’m seeing more ATM than I’d like.”

    Just turned 18 and peeing never gets old.

  23. I don’t know about ruining society, but it sure keeps my left hand soft and supple.

  24. Forget too much anal — what about all the footjob videos? I refuse to believe that that many of my fellow citizens get off to that stuff.

  25. What Radley fails to note is that prior to joining Reason he worked at the Chantilly Winchells refilling the cream donuts.

  26. I hardly think we need a “national conversation” about Felicity Fey (Did I reveal too much?).

    I prefer Katie Fey, aka Jenya, myself.

    There’s too much unlabeled tranny porn on the net. We need a law to put an end to this. “Oh damn, that chick is hot…lift up your leg, honey. AUUUUUGUHGHHGHGH!!!!!!!”

  27. I think we need Federally mandated porn-breaks in the workplace. How does one 15-minute porn-break per every four hours sound?

  28. Shut the fuck up, Lonewacko.

  29. “America will look less and less like a shining “city upon a hill””

    Why do we have to be the ones
    on the fikin hill? And isn’t pornography older than any of the major religions? I view it myself out of an insatiable need to learn history.

    It still astonishes me that all these “christians” that want to run my life and your life are ignoring how they live their own.

  30. “I think we need Federally mandated porn-breaks in the workplace. How does one 15-minute porn-break per every four hours sound?”

    To few and far between.

  31. “Oh damn, that chick is hot…lift up your leg, honey. AUUUUUGUHGHHGHGH!!!!!!!”

    The Adam’s Apple and huge hands are usually a giveaway, but maybe you like that in a woman.

    Did LoneRetard make a joke? A “Radley jerked off into the doughnuts” joke?

  32. I’ve worked at 4 companies since college, all different types of insurance. All have porn filters.

    We are a risk based business. Harrassment worries get dealth with real quick.

    I don’t know what your companies allow, but I might need to change careers.

  33. Workplace porn is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Tell the woman with this letter that work place porn is all fun and games.

    Dear Prudence,

    I work in an office that I share with two other people. The desks are in a triangle with short partitions between us, but it is possible to see one another through the gaps. One co-worker is part-time, so I am frequently alone with the third. Lately, I have been hearing and then seeing him participating in a solo activity usually done in the bedroom. Once I figured out for sure what he was doing, I went to human resources. The manager told me that as she has only my word about this, I should go find her when he does it again so she can know for herself. The problem is, she is never around when it happens. He stops if I get up to go out the door and starts when I sit down again. I feel violated, abused, and totally grossed out. What should I do?

    -Nauseated

    http://www.slate.com/id/2210565/

    Also if work places allowed porn, who would be left to read hit and run? Reason ought to be all for workplace porn bans. Without them, they wouldn’t have any ad revenue.

  34. He stops if I get up to go out the door and starts when I sit down again.

    Guy must be a pro if he has that kind of control to start and stop on a dime. Also can’t be using lube unless he has a sink in his cubicle to wash up with.

    In short, I don’t believe this story.

  35. Cunnivore,

    Maybe he has physical issues and never cums? In that case he could is wang for hours with no worries.

  36. Also can’t be using lube unless he has a sink in his cubicle to wash up with.

    Why does he have to use lube?

  37. I knew this thread was going to deteriorate, but I didn’t expect in this way.

    And dudes, Astroglide is water soluble.

  38. “Astroglide is water soluble.”

    He’s right. I am.

  39. Episiarch,

    I was a little surpised you weren’t taking part to be honest with you.

  40. My wife showed me that letter in outrage. She was appalled. All I could do was giggle uncontrolably at the thought of this woman getting up and sitting down at her desk and the guy whiping it out everytime she sat down. My wife was mad for like two days that I found that letter so funny. Women.

  41. Again, why does he have to whip it out? I don’t understand.

  42. Also can’t be using lube unless he has a sink in his cubicle to wash up with.

    Maybe he has a foreskin. Nature’s lube.

  43. Here’s what I wonder about porn. From what I can tell, nearly every woman that has ever lived has been in at least on porn shoot. That’s about 3 billion women. Simply amazing!

  44. Moose, if that story is for real, the guy is doing it to make the woman uncomfortable. It’s like the guys who get hard-ons on the subway and rub up against women–you know, like Warty. They get off on how disgusted and horrified the women are.

  45. Causation? Or mere correlation? You make the call!

    Causation according to this study.

  46. Maybe the guy is a porn addict and he just can’t help it. Or maybe the porn acts as a pain relief for his chronic pain. Either way, it is an ADA situation and the frigid ole broad needs to respect his disabling condition.

    OTOH, a few giggles and comments on teeny weenies would probably persuade him to keep the mouse in the house.

  47. There’s a time and place for internet pornography. And that’s when your wife’s in the shower.

  48. I’m just saying that nowhere did I read that he actually took it out. It seems to me that it would be easier to just rub it. That’s all

  49. or asleep. or mowing the grass. or taking out the garbage. or in the basement doing laundry. or talking to her sister on the phone in the other room.

  50. Dear Nauseated,

    If you can hear it and see it you can record it and photograph it.

  51. I have three words for Sen. Grassley: Trillion Dollar Deficit. We don’t have the money to spend on studies on pornography OR contraceptive education. I find it as frustrating that a Senator would waste my taxpayer money writing angry letters about pornography. Fire him.

  52. Alright, I consider myself almost overly-informed on the sexual proclivities of My Fellow Americans, but what is ATM?

  53. “OTOH, a few giggles and comments on teeny weenies would probably persuade him to keep the mouse in the house.”

    My guess is that she is some uptight, cute little white girl. A real woman would walk over and make some snarky comment about his manhood and end the practice forever.

  54. It’s like the guys who get hard-ons on the subway and rub up against women–you know, like Warty.

    That was my favorite thing to do before the chimp attack. WHY MUST YOU REMIND ME?!?!?!?

  55. Though stories like that and the one about Warty remind me of the movie Happiness

  56. Ass to Mouth. And ATOGM Ass To Other Girl’s Mouth.

  57. Astroglide is the Dom Perignon of lubes. Nice for special occasions, but way too expensive to be drinking at breakfast.

  58. what is ATM?

    Dude, watch some Belladonna videos.

  59. what is ATM?

    Ass to Mouth.

  60. I thought that was termed “A2M” to distinguish it from the things you get cash from.

  61. Alright, I consider myself almost overly-informed on the sexual proclivities of My Fellow Americans, but what is ATM?

    Oh TAO, now the madness begins. And you can’t be too informed if you don’t know what ass-to-mouth is.

    That was my favorite thing to do before the chimp attack. WHY MUST YOU REMIND ME?!?!?!?

    You look like a chimp?

  62. What good is the abbreviation “ATM” for that? All three words are one syllable!

    you people are just getting lazy.

  63. Rosebudding. Only google if you dare.

  64. Pfft, Epi, I know what the practice is. I just wasn’t aware that confusing acronyms ruled the roost. “A2M” is better…”ATM” isn’t even ON urbandictionary, people.

  65. NutraSweet, any chance that involves a prolapsed rectum?

  66. On the one hand, Senator Grassley is involved and anything that gets his panties in a bunch is undoubtedly a good thing. On the other hand, I once had to comb through the hard drive of a fired VP Marketing at a startup where I worked. All we needed were the projects he was working on, web sites we’d signed up for, etc. His browser bookmarks were the most elaborate categorization of anything I had ever seen until then or since. He literally had made up his own Dewey Decimal system for online porn, and apparently spent several thousand dollars of his own money on access passes.

    But Senator Grassley is such an insufferably prudish little gas bag that I have to side with the porn at work squad on this one.

  67. I’d never heard of Felicity Fey, so I just did a Google image search. Way out of proportion, not my type. I’m more of a Franchezca Valentina / Veronique Vega guy.

  68. “It’s like the guys who get hard-ons on the subway and rub up against women–you know, like Warty. They get off on how disgusted and horrified the women are.”

    I just like the way it feels.

  69. I have a question. Is Spacedocking even possible? I know I should know the answer to that, but I’ve been busy.

  70. I was going to let them find that out for themselves. “Forced rectum prolapse.”

  71. Like The Savage One, I am convinced that 90% of sexual “practices” are purely the result of the overactive imaginations of 8th-graders or those with the maturity levels thereof.

    Stuffy, I know, but probably true.

  72. If it is possible, I’m sure Audrey Hollander has done a scene with it.

  73. ))< >((

    “You poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole… back and forth… forever.”

  74. It’s like the guys who get hard-ons on the subway and rub up against women

    Uh, how are they supposed to get to the hospital after OD’ing on Cialis? Walk?

  75. “Rosebudding. Only google if you dare”

    Nothing there.

  76. O’Brien? Is that you?

  77. Spacedocking sounds like something MC Escher would do if he were in the porn industry.

  78. Just about every social indicator that one might anticipate being affected by the mainstreaming of porn (divorce and abortion rates, sex crimes, sex crimes against children, teen pregnancy, etc.) has for about 15 years generally been moving in a positive direction. That of course would be the very period during which pornography became widely available on the Internet.

    Kind of like how violent crime has taken a nose dive ever since FPS video games became popular. You wouldn’t know it listening to the media, though.

  79. “Rosebudding.”

    Hey!!!!

  80. Spacedocking sounds like something MC Escher would do if he were in the porn industry.

    You should try a Strawberry Shortcake.

  81. His browser bookmarks were the most elaborate categorization of anything I had ever seen until then or since. He literally had made up his own Dewey Decimal system for online porn

    I have something similar, but it’s at home. I like to flush my prostate as frequently as the next guy, but I don’t get why people feel the need to do so at work. If you can’t go eight hours without choking Mr. Happy, you seriously do have a problem.

  82. You never go ass to mouth!

  83. “I have something similar, but it’s at home. I like to flush my prostate as frequently as the next guy, but I don’t get why people feel the need to do so at work. ”

    Two reasons; they can’t control themselves and or they have shrewish wives who prevent them from having any of it at home.

  84. You are such a prude. Will you grow up?

  85. SugarFree,

    Holy fucking shit!!! I was crying I was laughing so hard!

  86. Astro,

    Ah, sorry. Try “rosebudding porn.”

  87. Love the flood of A2M responses at the same time.

    Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen a thread with so many multiple posts with the same time stamp.

  88. People like talking about their interests, Ska.

  89. “Try “rosebudding porn.””

    Still nothing.

  90. “People like talking about their interests, Ska.”

    Again, if workplace porn were allowed, Hit and Run would be empty.

  91. … and – most important – truly corrupting the minds of offenders while helping a squalid and perverted industry.

    Violent movies make you kill too.
    Only a genuine twit would write something that stupid.

  92. “But until we discuss the challenges, America will look less and less like a shining “city upon a hill” and more like Sodom and Gomorrah – a land in which workers betray the taxpayers, cheat their employers, embarrass their colleagues, diminish their lovers, and nobody cares.”

    He says that like it is a bad thing.

  93. Naga,

    Belladonna has said it’s the one thing she won’t do.

    OK, here’s a link to rosebudding images. None of you say I didn’t warn you.

  94. @ “Dante” and “Randall”,

    NO! BAD COMMENTER! NO SMITH!

    [rubs his nose in it and drags him outside by his collar]

  95. What’s a pink taco stand?

  96. “And don’t try any of your preversions in there, or I’ll blow your head off.”

  97. [rubs his nose in it and drags him outside by his collar]

    you can try, lagomorph, but I doubt you’re up to the job

  98. Sugah, lemme guess. Hot, Juicy Fagitas!

  99. Porn in the workplace has actually increased my company’s productivity!

    Of course, my company may be an outlier.

  100. you can try, lagomorph, but I doubt you’re up to the job

    Kevin Smith references make me capable of superhuman anger-based feats. Fortunately I calmed down while looking up “lagomorph”.

  101. Texas Chili Bowl.

  102. “OK, here’s a link to rosebudding images”

    So what’s the point?

  103. Nope, my dear Jester. Just a restaurant. The menu looks good too.

  104. In the workplace, does one need a warrant for no-knock raids?

    “Quick collect the evidence! It’s full of DNA!”

  105. So what’s the point?

    The point of doing it or the point of me posting it? Never mind, the answer to both is “Boredom.”

  106. The point of doing it.

  107. The Law of Pan-Perversity

    No matter what it is, someone, somewhere, at some point in time, is jacking off to it.

  108. snoogans

  109. The combo of virulent and cancer is especially elightening. It’s a cancer. No, it’s a virus. No, it’s both! My co-worker was looking at porn. Now I am doing it, and now I can’t accomplish anything.

    Kinda like that recurring zombie theme here. Once a zombie bites you, you’re a zombie. Except, I saw that movie Wrong Turn the other day. I realize they were s’posed to be mutant in-bred West Virginians, but they had the qualities of what some would call fast zombies. And the fact that one of them at least survived a hatchet in the clavicle plus an explosion…I vote zombie.

  110. You may not feel it, TIO, but I’m giving you the frowning of a lifetime.

  111. I’m giving you the frowning of a lifetime.

    I know about the rosebudding, spacedocking, etc., but I don’t know this “frowning”. Can you explain it? Does it involve feces?

  112. 😛

  113. Does it involve feces?

    I think we can pretty much take that for granted.

  114. The Law of Pan-Perversity

    No matter what it is, someone, somewhere, at some point in time, is jacking off to it.

    This is lemma of Rule 34.

  115. Who in gods name wrote this editorial? If this is the journalism that’s the lifeblood of Democracy… I don’t want democracy anymore.

  116. Paul, you do have to take into account that this is Rev Moon’s paper. Not that mainstream newspapers are anything to write home about.

  117. Now what happens if you’re a systems administrator working for BangBros? Are you merely forbidden from looking at competing porn sites?

  118. Larry Flynt | February 24, 2009, 3:57pm | #
    Porn in the workplace has actually increased my company’s productivity!

    Of course, my company may be an outlier.

    Weren’t you just asking for a bailout a few weeks ago?

  119. Sigh. for the days when Rosebud was a studio specializing in Lesbian Anal porn. I did not need to know the modern association. But now thanks to you fine scholars, I do. I guess I should know better than to click a link in a reason porn thread. And I guess I did know better, but I did it anyway.
    -K

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