Sex

This Is My Rifle, This Is My Gun. This Is for Fighting, This Is for Intelligence Work.

|

From today's Washington Post:

The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.

Four blue pills. Viagra.

"Take one of these. You'll love it," the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.

The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes—followed by a request for more pills.

Ordinarily the CIA might bribe its informants with guns and cash, but the side effects of those options aren't always welcome. And so, according to the Post, they've turned to "novel incentives and creative bargaining," including "pocketknives and tools, medicine or surgeries for ailing family members, toys and school equipment, tooth extractions, travel visas, and, occasionally, pharmaceutical enhancements for aging patriarchs with slumping libidos."

I look forward to the dueling Reichian and Foucauldian interpretations of this approach.

NEXT: You Say Communism, I Say the Ism That Made Me Rich

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. I like it. Corporations could sponsor CIA operations. 12 months later, we get a Congressional report “brought to you by the good people at Pfizer!”

    Intelligence accuracy then carries the consequence of bad PR for people who give a damn.

  2. Pretty damn cost effective too. Of course, it doesn’t make for an entertaining episode of 24.

  3. It would if ’24’ moved to cable.

  4. All I can say is: Allah bless America!

  5. On the down side, won’t this, in nine months, mean a lot more Muslims who “want to kill us”?

  6. Hey, how about we not fuck around in parts of the world where we would need to give old dudes with child brides Viagra? We’re better off, and maybe a little girl gets a break too.

  7. Hey, how about we not fuck around

    Whoa. This is government we’re talking about.

  8. When we can start giving Afghan tribesmen Viagra and Xanax in order for their cooperation in stomping out the awful scourge of opium and related drugs?

  9. I humbly recommend a Viagra air-drop over Stockholm. If there are any objections to more tall, blond Nordic women in the world, I’d like to hear them.

  10. No, no, MNG, Viagra and Oxycontin, duh.

  11. This chieftain probably wouldn’t be able to move to the U.S. with his wives, According to 8 USC ? 1182(a)(10)(A), “Any immigrant who is coming to the United States to practice polygamy is inadmissible.”

  12. tooth extractions

    No “Is it safe?” references, yet.

    I’m disappointed.

  13. Gives new meaning to the slogan ‘Make Love not War.’

  14. @ MNG, Epi –

    Now fellas, Viagra is not controlled like Xanax (CIV) or Oxycontin (CII). That means it’s not full of teh evil.

    It’s teh evil that we’re to protect the brown people from, not drugs in general.

    Didn’t you get the memo?

  15. If there are any objections to more tall, blond Nordic women in the world, I’d like to hear them.

    Ahem. 😉

  16. *buys short brunette a drink* those nordic wenches got nothing on you sweetheart!

  17. The Afghan War: Things are looking up! :-p

  18. *checks for roofie, curses her own cynicism*

    Thanks Bingo!

  19. Now they’ll blame us for turning their women into hoes.

  20. Do not enter diplomatic relations with a country of brown people if you are taking nitrates for chest pain. Other side effects may include dizziness, anal leakage, the procurement of specious military intelligence, and insomnia. If you experience of period of peace longer that four hours, see a doctor.

  21. I’m also picturing the chiefton and his four wives all sitting in seperate bathtubs on a hillside…

  22. I like Peachy’s idea.

  23. Now fellas, Viagra is not controlled like Xanax (CIV) or Oxycontin (CII). That means it’s not full of teh evil.

    But it is full of teh sin, so it’s still bad, mm-kay?

    If you experience of period of peace longer that four hours, see a doctor.

    Also, do not take it with MAO Inhibitors.

  24. So, the quickest and most effective way to get infomation is:

    A: Regular waterboarding, mixed with the occasional dousing with urine.

    B: Facilitating a five-way.

  25. drugs are bad mmkay! unless we hte goverment give them to you and say you wil have fun. no no no, mr Afgani opium is BAD mmmkay, but xanax and viagra are great.

  26. No doubt the young Afghan boy who got ass-fucked is just as happy as the 60-year old who took the CIA-supplied meds.

  27. Invisible Finger,
    Thank you for revealing in one sentence multiple hangups that you are having trouble working through.

  28. I also like Peachy’s idea.

    BTW, Afghans are not necessarily ‘brown people’. A few of the tribes are caucazoids.

  29. kwais

    I think that’s a distinction that’s lost on those that have a problem with ‘brown people’.

  30. Four green eyed hotties and a viagra sounds good to me.

  31. It’s all a set up for black ops. After word of this gets out, it won’t be long until they start giving cyanide pills that look like Viagra to suspected Taliban.

  32. Four green eyed hotties and a viagra sounds good to me.

    Until you consider they probably aren’t all that hot to begin with, on top of which you lump that disinclination to personal hygiene.

    [insert sheep joke here]

  33. Four green eyed hotties and a viagra sounds good to me.

    Lo Pan? Is that you?

  34. Now they’ll blame us for turning their women into hoes.

    What do call a Ethiopian woman with buck teeth?

  35. “The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women”

    This is brilliant! The thing that Afghanistan needs most right now is more 65 year old chieftains/warlords fathering more offspring. That’s the recipe for stability.

  36. Smells like propaganda for western solipsists to me…

  37. Not to put a damper on the old chieftans’, er, “uprising,” but Viagra is contraindicated for a wide variety of medical conditions. Does the CIA ever consider that? Do they ask these geezers if they have any of the medical contraindications?

  38. Do they ask these geezers if they have any of the medical contraindications?

    According to the article, they did. Though I suppose if they wanted to bump off a particularly recalcitrant chieftain, they could always ignore the usual medical recommendations.

  39. Isn’t giving prescription drugs without a prescription called DRUG TRAFFICKING? Jesus help me my head is exploding.

  40. i’m sympathizing with the chieftain’s harem on this one. do these gals want some geezer hammering them all day? would you?

  41. Isn’t giving prescription drugs without a prescription called DRUG TRAFFICKING?

    Only where there are laws that say it is…

  42. do these gals want some geezer hammering them all day?

    Maybe it gives them more social status within the harem.

    would you?

    Me? No. But then, I’m not in a harem.

  43. Short Brunette who Doesn’t Want to Start Buying her Own Drinks | December 26, 2008, 11:32am | #

    *checks for roofie, curses her own cynicism*

    What?!!, you are checking for roofies now?

    Ok, hey, let me switch that dring out for you then. Here, you’ll like this one better.

    Actually I heard a rumor about a college bar in VA, that had coasters that you could use to check for roofies. you would pour some of your drink on it, and it would turn blue if there were rufies in the drink.

    It might have just been a rumor spread to discourage the use of roofies.

    I always thought, a cruel and horrible, but somewhat funny thing to do would be to switch the coasters for ones that would turn blue no matter what liquid was poured on it.

    I mean that would really ruin somebodies day.

  44. Better the evil terrorist and their henchmen think with their, ahem, little heads than about how to plot against and bring destruction to America.

  45. You’ll need your tin foil to keep your prozac in

  46. Thank you, my dear on this important topic You can also browse my site and I am honored to do this site for songs
    http://www.soryh.com
    This website is for travel to Malaysia
    http://www.soryh.com

  47. You’ll need your tin foil to keep your prozac in

  48. Whether this has much symbolic significance or not

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.