D.C. Ink

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Confronted with the news that nearly 25 percent of Americans under the age of 40 have some sort of tattoo, The Weekly Standard's Gary Andres jokes that maybe GOP-themed body art should be "the new litmus test for Republican presidential hopefuls as the party aims to improve its dismal performance among younger voters." Why not? Andres suggests an elephant tattoo for presidential hopefuls, but I'm wondering if reason's readers can't come up with some better ideas than that.

(Image via Roger Stone's Stonezone

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  1. How about an elephant trunk? Now where would a guy put such a thing…

  2. A big, black cock.

  3. I don’t know, sage, where could you hide an elephant trunk? [laffs] Another option would be to have Cheney’s face on ze bum…but how many times a day can one sit on Dick?

    I have a small tattoo, and will have a second done this summer; I don’t expect to have any partisan ink done.

  4. man, a nixon tat is either an amazing feat of a cosmic case of brass balls or the final senility cycle of fratboys who think wearing blackface on mlk day is a courageous stand against “pc oppression”.

  5. Maybe social conservatives could get the Ten Commandments tatooed in Blackletter.

    Reminds me of Kafka’s In the Penal Colony.

  6. Palin blowing huckabee on your forearm.

  7. I have a tattoo of the Cheshire Cat, but it’s invisible.

  8. Actually, the GWB/Alfred E Newman character would be a pretty funny tattoo?

    How about Karl Rove and Senator Craig holding hands under a bathroom partition with a caption that reads, “no to gay marriage…”?

  9. An ICBM,in a field of daisies,with a scrolled script: Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice.

  10. Would a swastika armband be too cliche?

  11. Bernanke and Paulson french-kissing surrounded by a Moebius strip made out of $100 bills

  12. How about an elephant raping Milton Friedman?

  13. Would a swastika armband be too cliche?

    Already taken by some mid 20th century European progressive Socialist Party.

  14. If Gary Andes were capable of basic arithmetic he could have figured out that 75% of of voters under 40 do not have tattoos.

    The joke is not about Republicans getting tattoos, it’s about innumerate journalists.

  15. They should all (Dems and Reps) have the 10th Amendment tattooed on their foreheads.

  16. I think I hear the sounds of the “Rick Warren Purpose Driven Tattoo Shop & Bible Store” opening in the strip mall across the street from Saddleback Church, right between the LA Fitness and the ARCO station.

  17. Episiarch would win, except the tattoo is for Republican hopefuls, not cynical libertarians.

  18. Tats are for people who cannot create anything original on their own, thus relying on others for their means of expression. They’re walking billboards, stating, pathetically: Look at me! I identify with someone else! Tats are the sandwich-boards of the new Lost Generation.

  19. Episiarch would win, except the tattoo is for Republican hopefuls, not cynical libertarians.

    I think the elephant raping Friedman works either way.

    Me, I would like to require that any candidate for federal office first have the text of the Bill of Rights tattooed on their ass.

  20. Actually, the Bill of Rights (along with the rest of the Constitution) should be tattooed on the asses of citizens, where politicians are more likely to see it.

  21. There is a reason why so many adult entertainers include the words “no tats” in their advertisements.

  22. “How about an elephant raping Milton Friedman?”

    What can I say Epi, you’re on a roll lately.

  23. libertymike
    There are adult entertainers who do not have any tats?

    Where is this magical place of which you speak which has such people in it?

  24. As part of the apparently coveted 26-40 demographic (27 to be precise), I can tell you that I would be disinclined to vote for a candidate who has a tattoo as it shows poor judgement on long term matters. I’ve seen enough stretched out tramp stamps to almost put me off doggystyle and I don’t think they’re going to be getting any better as time goes on.

    As for Republican presidential hopeful tattoos, I’ll go with “TAXX KUTT” across the knuckles.

  25. A tattoo, if you can lose it.

  26. Confronted with the news that nearly 25 percent of Americans under the age of 40

    Only 25%? Wow, I must live in a place that skews those numbers.

  27. MNG-

    Given that this is a family friendly medium, I shall respond as follows:

    my bedroom. My wife considers herself to be a talented adult entertainer and she has no tats.

  28. Well said libertymike.

  29. I’ve seen enough stretched out tramp stamps to almost put me off doggystyle and I don’t think they’re going to be getting any better as time goes on.

    The bag you normally put over her head? Put it over your own head. Problem solved.

  30. “Where is this magical place of which you speak which has such people in it?”

    Japan!

  31. A bad-ass looking Chinese character that translates as: “A chicken in every pot.”

  32. It would be a cryogenic day in hell before I ever inked a politician’s face on any part of my body, even if it showed them licking my anus.

  33. Tramp stamps are the most unattractive tattoo a female can get. Girls please stop, even the “mariner stars on the ovaries” are better.

  34. “I think I hear the sounds of the “Rick Warren Purpose Driven Tattoo Shop & Bible Store” opening in the strip mall across the street from Saddleback Church, right between the LA Fitness and the ARCO station.”

    They could have a tattoo the text of Leviticus 19:28.

  35. How about we encourage Democrats to get tattoos of Obama on their backs?

  36. The next Republican presidential hopeful should have a tattoo of a big man/woman holding a leash around a pig’s head in the likeness of Barney Frank (but the similarities might prevent people from identifying the pig’s head as Frank’s).

  37. I’m thinking a poster for A New Hope, where Luke is holding the lightsaber, he can have W’s face, Leia can be Palin, Han can be whoever, and the robots can be whoever else, and Vader can be a democrat, and Obi and that imperial general can be whoever else.
    this poster http://kspark.kaist.ac.kr/Star%20Wars/Star%20Wars.files/StarWars%20poster.jpg

    or Sarah Palin nude, legs spread with a flower carefully placed to cover her vagoo, and her breasts covered by some other things

  38. “and her breasts covered by some other things”

    Mooseheads?

  39. I’ve got a tattoo. It was a great deal. What else can you get for twenty bucks that lasts you your entire life?

    Course it’d be two fifty now, but still, you take my drift.

    Only 25%? Wow, I must live in a place that skews those numbers.

    It seems as though people who live in other places tend to think that people who live in Californicate have many tattoos and lip rings. And it turns out that, in the post modernist society in which we live, there are more tattoo’d, lip ringed, nipple ringed, clit ringed, folk in places like Carson City, Henderson, Omaha, and Toledo, than there are in the too hip burgs like Venice Beach & West LA.

    That’s my opinion and I’m stickin’ to it.

  40. A good representation of the modern Republican Party would be a classic tiptoeing cartoon burglar, with a Lone Ranger mask and a big bag labeled “swag” slung over his shoulder.

    Or Dick Cheney wiping his ass with the Constitution.

  41. Backwards Bs are always popular among the Republican faithful.

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  43. n the post modernist society in which we live, there are more tattoo’d, lip ringed, nipple ringed, clit rinbag factory.

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