Guns

From Saturday Night Special to Early Bird Special

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palm pistol

No denying that a bullet to the head will cure what ails you, but now there's another way to combine shooting sports and the pangs of old age:

Called the Palm Pistol, the weapon is designed for people who have trouble firing a normal handgun due to arthritis and other debilitating conditions.

"It's something that they need to assist them in daily living," says Matthew Carmel, president of Constitution Arms in Maplewood, New Jersey, which hopes to manufacture the Palm Pistol—now just a patent and specifications.

Better still, Constitution Arms is hoping to qualify the squeezable gun for Medicare reimbursement by claiming that the gun is a medical device, like a wheelchair.

One can only hope that all Americans be entitled to one of this babies (should we call them Early Bird Specials, in a nod to the Saturday Night Specials of yore?) when universal healthcare finally comes upon us.

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  1. “It’s something that they need to assist them in daily living,” says Matthew Carmel, president of Constitution Arms in Maplewood, New Jersey

    Moral of the story: you should really visit that retirement community before you send your mother there. Looking at the brochure just isn’t going to cut it.

  2. You don’t think an older person could mistake that for an inhaler, do you? Well, only once, I guess.

  3. Keeping handguns out of the hands of the elderly violates their second amendment rights! Arming the geriatric set will make us all safer. The only wrinkle; Obviously government run terminal warehouses rest homes will be required to provide guns to their inmates patients, but what about privately run ‘retirement facilities’?

  4. Just what the world needs, a short barreled firearm for people with shaky hands and poor eyesight. Can’t these creakers just settle for the sword cane?

  5. Does it discharge when pressed against the target, like those shark stick things? That would be okay.

  6. In the old days, they used to create weapons for people with arthritis by removing trigger guards and a file down the trigger lever to produce a “hair trigger” that could fire with very little pressure.

    This looks like a step up.

  7. (slaps forehead)

  8. My amusement and enjoyment of a handgun for disabled people is tempered by my rage that it might be covered by Medicare.

    Get ready for a rash of armed nursing home breakouts and hold-ups demanding solid food or that the channel be changed to Jeopardy.

  9. I wonder if it is safe to carry tucked in your waistband without a holster like Plaxico Burress’ Glock? He might want to look into one of these when he gets out of jail.

  10. My grandfather left a loaded 38 special on his bedstand until he died in his mid 80’s. He had no trouble shooting the center out of targets at 25 yards well into his 70’s – not that he got worse after that, just that his oxygen hose didn’t stretch far enough to get to the range…

  11. Does anybody else know someone that works at a “home”? It takes a special kind of person who’s willing to dig the shit out of some geezers ass, ever mindful that every place you touch them will make a bruise and their blood doesn’t clot so well, all the while they’re cussing you out and calling you “Mable”, all for about the same money you could make styling hair.

  12. You’re all crazy gun nuts! Waaaaaaa!

  13. I agree! Waaaaa!

  14. It would certainly be useful against this guy.

  15. Great. Then we’ll be seeing old farts wielding these out of scooter rage.

  16. Like the idea of the product, but the vendor is a goddamned hypocrite. “Constitution” arms, my ass.

    -jcr

  17. My grandfather left a loaded 38 special on his bedstand until he died in his mid 80’s. He had no trouble shooting the center out of targets at 25 yards well into his 70’s – not that he got worse after that, just that his oxygen hose didn’t stretch far enough to get to the range…

    Before my grandfather died, he was essentially housebound with terrible lung disease from years of smoking. Once, I remember he spotted a groundhog in the pasture about 100 yards or so from the house. I remember him shuffling as quickly as he could to the door, .22 rifle in hand. He dropped the little bugger with one shot, iron sights.

  18. Wow. No “cold dead hands” joke yet.

    Y’all disappoint me.

  19. Looks like it’d be a bitch to aim.

  20. I have to say if that’s what it looks like, I see a lot of dead criminals. Because if I was robbing some old lady and she pulled that out I would just assume she was just crazy and waving her weird inhaler at me and laugh. Right before I got shot.

  21. Wow. No “cold dead hands” joke yet.

    Y’all disappoint me.

    I try to avoid the layups if the first 5 posters or so don’t throw them down…

  22. This is by far the BEST THING i’ve seen on this blog yet…they heard me laughing 15 offices away.

  23. or that the channel be changed to Jeopardy.

    Nuts to Jeapordy: we want Maaaaaaat-lllllllock!

  24. I’m really having trouble undestanding what problem this thing actually solves.

    Maybe that’s why it’s not on the market.

    A+ to joe.

  25. OT, but I found this story interesting, and some Anglophile Reasonite might have an interesting comment.

  26. Wait until someone thinks it’s the remote control.

  27. Patent? Patent? What about over a century of prior art? A friend of mine has one of these…

    http://www.aaawt.com/html/firearms/f154.html

  28. I think this is great and terrible at the same time. For one thing it only has one shot, you better hope your grandparents are good shots. The bigger issue here is they they are trying to get it approved for medicare. Meaning the tax payers have to pay for for it. I wasn’t too happy about that part when I first read about it a few days ago on Fox News website.

  29. I think we invest about $500 million dollas into this from the $700 billion for the financial sector. It’s only 1/1400th of the fund and just think about how many high paying doctor jobs it will create with a rise in gunshot victims.
    /sarc off

    Seriously, this looks like a pretty useful concealed weapon. If I had poorer impulse control, I would buy one.

  30. This thing clearly fits the bill as an “any other weapon” under the NFA. It most likely will be classed, like all other guns that don’t look like conventional firearms, as an AOW and regulated under the NFA, and be consigned forever to the “interesting firearm idea that was killed by regulations” trash heap. No way are mainstream people going to jump through the NFA hoops to get one of these.

  31. Thank Goodness! Now liquor store bandits have something to look forward to when they get too old to wield a .45!

  32. I’m really having trouble undestanding what problem this thing actually solves.

    Violent crime against the vulnerable elderly?

    This thing clearly fits the bill as an “any other weapon” under the NFA.

    Definition:

    The term “any other weapon” means [a] any weapon or device capable of being concealed on the person from which a shot can be discharged through the energy of an explosive, [b] a pistol or revolver having a barrel with a smooth bore designed or redesigned to fire a fixed shotgun shell, [c] weapons with combination shotgun and rifle barrels 12 inches or more, less than 18 inches in length, from which only a single discharge can be made from either barrel without manual reloading, and shall include any such weapon which may be readily restored to fire. Such term shall not include a pistol or a revolver having a rifled bore, or rifled bores, or weapons designed, made, or intended to be fired from the shoulder and not capable of firing fixed ammunition.

    I think the bolded language above takes this out of the AOW category, assuming they have rifled the bore.

    It does make me wonder why smooth-bored .410 “snakemaster” derringers* aren’t considered AOWs.

    *Very useful concealed self-defense weapon, if you don’t mind kick like having a small grenade go off in your hand.

  33. Intended to bold the following:

    Such term shall not include a pistol or a revolver having a rifled bore

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