Conspiracy

Obamanoia Roundup

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A treasure trove for students of partisan gullibility and political paranoia.

[Via Balloon Juice.]

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  1. All fine examples, but for my money, it doesn’t get better than the “He’s an Arab” lady.

    That ruled.

  2. Heh…Lonewacko has a comment at that blog as well. The same obsessive paranoia (“but what about his college applications??!!?!?!”), the same accusations of dishonesty against anyone who doesn’t share his delusions, and the same mockery aimed at him from other posters. He must spend about 90 hours a week making a fool of himself all over the internets.

    (At least that keeps him off the streets though; he still hasn’t released his birth certificate and college transcripts, so we can’t know for sure that he’s not an axe murdering pedofile who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby before going on a weeklong cocaine bender with Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse. Why the lack of transparency, Lonewacko?)

  3. I saw this nonsense coming but the intesity and quantity of it all is surprising, even astounding. There exist folks who apparently devote their entire lives to spreading bullshit about the evil other side all over tubez. It should bother me that so many are so credulous of outrageous claims that confirm their biases. But I’ve known most people are unthinking boobs for a long time.

  4. I thought we’d be hearing more about scary black men mugging white women, and “urban machine politicians” driving Cadillacs.

  5. I still haven’t seen a birth certificate. I’m free to draw whatever conclusions I want.

    He is applying for a job. The American people are his employers (ha! good one). He should provide documentation.

  6. I really, really hope that the mental patient that scracthed the backwards B into her face videotaped the whole thing.

    It certainly could make for some uncomfortable moments the rest of this girls life:
    “So, what’s the B marking for etched into your flesh? A boyfriend or something?”

  7. “I still haven’t seen a birth certificate. I’m free to draw whatever conclusions I want.”

    Of course you are. And others are free to draw whatever conclusions they want about you based on your unhealthy obsession with this birth certificate conspiracy theory. The conclusions most rational people draw about you won’t be terribly flattering, but that’s only because you’re full of shit.

  8. “I still haven’t seen a birth certificate. I’m free to draw whatever conclusions I want.”

    When I was hired 5 years ago, Federal law mandated that I provide proof of citizenship.

    The US Constitution requires the President to be a natural born citizen of the US.

    Is Obama above Federal law and the US Constitution?

    I seem to recall McCain’s place of birth questioned by the media for a while.

  9. You did see a birth certificate.

    You just didn’t like the kerning.

  10. “Of course you are. And others are free to draw whatever conclusions they want about you based on your unhealthy obsession with this birth certificate conspiracy theory. The conclusions most rational people draw about you won’t be terribly flattering, but that’s only because you’re full of shit.”

    Translation: I give the guy a pass ’cause I don’t hold politicians to the same standard as citizens.

  11. “You did see a birth certificate.

    You just didn’t like the kerning.”

    Wrong.

    I saw no birth certificate with an embossed State of Hawaii seal. When I was hired, I had to produce a Maryland birth certificate with said seal.

    And I saw no one come forward to the media saying, “Here it is. Have a look and a feel.”

  12. “I seem to recall McCain’s place of birth questioned by the media for a while.”

    If you were paying any attention, I’m sure you also noticed that any questions about McCain being disqualified were quickly dismissed by all but the most mindless partisan hacks. Similarly, only the most mindless partisan hacks are still blathering on about Obama’s “fake” birth certificate.

    “Translation: I give the guy a pass ’cause I don’t hold politicians to the same standard as citizens.”

    Translation: I’m a mindless partisan hack looking for some facade of rationality and critical thinking to disguise my mindless partisan hackery.

  13. “Translation: I’m a mindless partisan hack looking for some facade of rationality and critical thinking to disguise my mindless partisan hackery.”

    Produce a cirtificate with embossed seal. Or even an account of one. Otherwise, knock of the ad hominem.

  14. I hope Jon Swift doesn’t update his post with a link to this comment thread.

  15. “If you were paying any attention, I’m sure you also noticed that any questions about McCain being disqualified were quickly dismissed by all but the most mindless partisan hacks. Similarly, only the most mindless partisan hacks are still blathering on about Obama’s “fake” birth certificate.”

    Then why does the Obama Campaign refuse to produce it? I do find that to be odd. It should be a very simple thing to do.

  16. Gunther:

    Evidence of The Hawaii State Seal:

    link

    sorry, that should be *Evidence of the state of Hawaii seal*:

    link

  17. To be fair, you hear some pretty kooky things about McCain. You just don’t hear them as much because he’s losing.

  18. I remember a reason commenter saying he had to produce his Hawaii birth certificate for something and it looked just like the one the Obama campaign released.

    But that guy is probably a Muslim too. They’re everywhere, donchaknow.

  19. Produce a cirtificate with embossed seal.

    Seriously? You think his campaign was willing and able to forge a birth certificate, but they will somehow be unable to forge one with an embossed seal?

    The only satisfactory proof of citizenship at this point would be sworn and notarized statements from multiple eye-witnesses to this so-called birth he claims to have had. Why is his campaign unwilling to do so?

  20. 10,000 absentee ballots in Gwinnett are flawed
    Votes will have to be transferred to new ballots

    By MARY LOU PICKEL, MARCUS K. GARNER
    The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
    Thursday, October 23, 2008

    Gwinnett County elections officials will have to hand-copy votes from at least 10,000 absentee ballots onto new ballots that can be read by a machine.

    The original ballots, designed to be filled out by hand, are flawed because of a printing error. The circle beside the candidate’s name is too thick and somewhat misshapen, and consequently an optical scanning machine won’t be able to read the votes on Election Day.
    The county discovered the problem last week during routine testing.

    Gwinnett had already mailed out 19,700 flawed ballots before it realized the problem.
    Of those, 10,000 have already been marked and sent back by voters, said Lynn Ledford director of Voter Registration and Elections for Gwinnett County.

    The printing mistake was not apparent to the naked eye, Ledford said.

    The elections office will now have to transfer the votes from those 10,000 ballots onto new ballots so an optical scanning machine can read them, Ledford said. If more of the flawed ballots come back, that number will increase.
    County spokesman Joe Sorenson said correcting the errors could be complicated.

    “[Election workers] are going to have to take the bad ballots, take a look at what each choice is, and mark that choice for the second ballot,” Sorenson said. “There will be two sets of eyes on each ballot.”

    From 200 to 300 election workers will be dedicated to this process, he said.
    “I’ve got to assume we’re going to have to hire more people,” said Sorenson, who didn’t know the anticipated cost for fixing the issue.
    But that’s only part of county’s concern. Security is another issue.

    “It’s going to be a sequestered process,” he said. “Those election workers will not be able to leave or have contact with other people during the process.” He said those workers won’t be able to have phones, recording equipment or access to any other media, among other things. And sheriff’s deputies will be assigned to maintain the integrity of the votes, along with party auditors.

    Sorenson said he expects the process to be completed by the time the rest of the votes are tallied at the end of Election Day.

    “It’s very unfortunate that this issue had not been caught before-hand,” said Susan Somach of Atlanta, a volunteer with Election Protection, a nonpartisan voter education and watch dog group.

    Somach said she hopes the vote transferring process is done accurately.

    Ledford assured that each ballot will be numbered sequentially and accounted for.
    Also, voter anonymity will be preserved because absentee ballots come in two envelopes – one with the person’s name and another containing the vote. The envelopes are handled by two different workers so that one person cannot determine how someone voted.
    The Secretary of State’s office and both political parties have been notified, Ledford said.

    Somach expects that political parties and candidate representatives will want to observe the vote-transferring process to ensure its “accuracy and transparency.”

    Ledford said registrars don’t have to test their absentee ballots until three days before an election. She did so several weeks in advance.

    The county started mailing out corrected absentee ballots Monday to voters who had not yet received them.

  21. I hear that Obama will produce his afterbirth from the hospital in Hawaii where he was born. It smells of coconuts and pineapples and was given an official and dated “Welcome To Hawaii” lei upon Obama’s birth. I can’t confirm whether or not the afterbirth has a raised seal.

  22. “Produce a cirtificate with embossed seal. Or even an account of one. Otherwise, knock of the ad hominem.”

    The state of Hawaii already provided a birth certificate that they consider legit. Unless you think the state of Hawaii is in on this conspiracy, that should be the end of it. Otherwise, you’re pretty fucking obviously a mindless partisan hack. If having that pointed out bothers you, you may want to reconsider your hackery.

  23. Gunther is a looney from up in Togas.

  24. “Then why does the Obama Campaign refuse to produce it? I do find that to be odd. It should be a very simple thing to do.”

    Notwithstanding the little detail that it has been produced, at what point are they supposed to stop entertaining the delusional demands of Lonewacko and his ilk? There’s no way to win – they answer one outlandish charge, and ten more will pop up. Pretending there’s anything to this crap about his birth certificate, or his college applications, or his gay lover, or anything else just lends false legitimacy to the hacks who keep bringing it up.

  25. I can’t confirm whether or not the afterbirth has a raised seal.

    Do you mean raised as on its tail, clapping its flippers for a fish?

  26. The state of Hawaii already provided a birth certificate that they consider legit.

    There’s the problem – can we even be sure that there is such a state? I’ve got a jar full of quarters with the names of various states on them, but not a single quarter that says “Hawaii”.

  27. “There’s the problem – can we even be sure that there is such a state?”

    I’m pretty sure it’s real, cuz that’s where they faked the moon landing.

  28. I mean clapping it’s flippers to destroy America and institute sharia law.

    Sorry, I thought that much was obvious.

  29. Gunther: “When I was hired, I had to produce a Maryland birth certificate with said seal.”

    Leave Burger King out of this.

  30. Meh. I haven’t heard 1/2 those rumors, and highlighting serves only to deflect attention from the things that Obama doesn’t want to talk about.

  31. “Translation: I’m a mindless partisan hack looking for some facade of rationality and critical thinking to disguise my mindless partisan hackery.”

    Produce a cirtificate with embossed seal. Or even an account of one. Otherwise, knock of the ad hominem.

    Just STFU you ignorant yahoo. Obama was born in fucking Hawaii. If you aren’t convinced of that you likely also worry about chem trails and the crashed UFO cover-up.

  32. Gunther,
    Are you a truther?

  33. Dude, WorldNetDaily has said that the birth certificate provided by the Obama campaign is authentic. When WND says you’re nuts, you’re fucking nuts.

  34. Gunther wrote: “I saw no birth certificate with an embossed State of Hawaii seal. When I was hired, I had to produce a Maryland birth certificate with said seal.”

    I bet you didn’t have to produce it for any random inquisitive schmuck off the street who asked for it.

    Nor would you have shown it had they asked.

  35. Thanks for linking that, Jesse. Between Jon Swift’s post and all the loons he linked to, that was hours of fun.

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