Russia has no Respect for Cartman's Authority

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Martin Niemoller, forgive me

First they came for the emos, and I didn't speak up (too loudly, anyway) because I don't wear mascara. Then they came for the Georgians, and I didn't speak up because I don't care as much as I should about territorial disputes. And now they've come for South Park, and I'll be damned if I don't take this opportunity to poke some fun at the silliness of it all:

Moscow prosecutors began legal proceedings aimed at the cartoon series South Park today in a bid to kill Kenny in Russia.

Prosecutors took action against the 2×2 television channel for broadcasting an episode of the animated comedy show that featured Christmas songs including a medley duet performed by Santa Claus and Jesus Christ.

The Basmanny regional prosecutors office in Moscow has announced that the programme "bore signs of extremist activity".

The episode in question called Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics was aired in Moscow in January. It shows a number of regular and guest characters including Satan, Adolf Hitler and an anthropomorphised human faeces called Mr Hankey performing in a Christmas variety show. An accompanying CD is available to buy….

A statement by Moscow prosecutors read: "It offends the honour and dignity of Christians and Muslims alike." It could just have easily included Jews, Scientologists, Catholics, Mormons and Moonies all of whom have been mercilessly targeted by American series. 

Should South Park be on public airwaves (as opposed to cable)? Yes. Yes it should. The world would be a better place if its children learned to laugh at religiosity and morality before they were "mature" enough to embrace stringent fundamentalism. If I were in charge of PBS programming, I'd air South Park right before Sesame Street, then Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries, Thunderbirds (because creepy puppets helped me become the man I am today), and Cheers

reason on South Park voters here and here

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  1. O ??? ??? ??? ????? ????y!

  2. You bastards!!!

    Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

  3. because creepy puppets helped me become the man I am today

    They helped you become a reason intern? Are you even human any more?

  4. Zalman Fucking King!

    Daily showings of Wild Orchid would be mandatory, with all programs beginning with “chopper” sequences featuring Rourke in some awful sleeveless jacket monstrosity.

  5. Can’t reason interns want PBS not to exist anymore?

  6. The world would be a better place if its children learned to laugh at religiosity and morality before they were “mature” enough to embrace stringent fundamentalism. If I were in charge of PBS programming, I’d air South Park right before Sesame Street, then Zelman King’s Red Shoe Diaries, Thunderbirds (because creepy puppets helped me become the man I am today), and Cheers.

    I understand the urge, but doesn’t someone need to know what a philosophy is about before they understand the mocking of it? I see with my kids watching the Simpsons that most of the jokes go over their heads bcasue they don’t understand what a fundamentalist christian is, or a drunk, or a rich evil old person.

  7. I read this show was on right after school.

    I don’t know if I want kindergartners in Russia watching the Mrs Brovlovsky’s “She’s a Big Fat Jew Bitch” sing, especially since they get a lot of that during the day.

  8. GITBR: But when they do meet a drunk, they’ll remember what they learned on the Simpsons, and laugh hysterically at the drunk’s funny speech.

    And Episiarch: My new journalistic residence is Washington City Paper, where I somehow finagled the title of editor.

    Why reason keeps me on here, well, you’ll never know.

  9. because creepy puppets helped me become the man I am today

    Who do you think sent you over the edge? Was it Sherry Lewis, Burr Tillstrom, or Fred Rogers?

  10. If I were in charge of PBS programming, I’d air South Park right before Sesame Street, then Zalman King’s Red Shoe Diaries, Thunderbirds (because creepy puppets helped me become the man I am today), and Cheers.

    And that Dungeons and Dragons episode when the kids go to Tiamats lair in hell and defeat Venger but dungeon master shows up and we discover that Venger is Dungeon Masters son…show the same episode everyday…that and an hour of Starblazers and Robotech and it would be fucking perfect.

  11. I see you’re not denying that you are not human.

  12. Who do you think sent you over the edge? Was it Sherry Lewis, Burr Tillstrom, or Fred Rogers?

    In Canada, we were lucky enough to have the added creepiness of The Friendly Giant and Mr. Dress-Up.

  13. A statement by Moscow prosecutors read: “It offends the honour and dignity of Christians and Muslims alike.” It could just have easily included Jews, Scientologists, Catholics, Mormons and Moonies all of whom have been mercilessly targeted by American series.

    A bit redundant as Scientologists, Catholics, Mormons and Moonies are all Christian.

  14. Ava —

    Just don’t tell them that!

  15. And calling Scientologists “Christians” is a bit of a stretch, even in the flexible rubrics that theology invites.

  16. The series starred Ernie Coombs (an American who later became a Canadian citizen) as Mr. Dressup

    Now if it had starred Jeffrey Combs you’d have a real case for creepiness.

  17. Scientology would argue that Christianity exists because Xenu showed our Body Thetans movies about Jesus and that’s why it has followers…..

    So Xenu is the true father of Christianity.

    FREE XENU NOW!*

    *so I can kick him in the nuts

  18. Dagny T.

    Holy crap. And here I thought it was high octane beer, cold wind, and long nights (Not to mention France!) that dufussated Canadians.

  19. Now if it had starred Jeffrey Combs you’d have a real case for creepiness.

    That guy is awesome. I think we have covered this recently…

  20. Zalman Fucking King!

    Daily showings of Wild Orchid would be mandatory, with all programs beginning with “chopper” sequences featuring Rourke in some awful sleeveless jacket monstrosity.

    The best Zalman King movie is actually one he produced and co-wrote but didn’t direct, 1993’s Lake Consequence, although the guy who did direct it was certainly channeling Zalman’s style.

    Before he became the sultan of soft-focus smut, Zalman was an actor, of sorts. To see his impression of go-to thug David Hess (Last House on the Left), see the 1975 grindhouse sleazefest Trip With Teacher, currently available as part of a nicely priced ($5 bucks at Amazon!) 8-movie DVD set.

  21. That guy is awesome

    Lovecraft, Star Trek, and a (ho-hum) Peter Jackson movie. You can’t beat that.

  22. that and an hour of Starblazers and Robotech and it would be fucking perfect.

    I was in high school when Robotech aired. I got out of bed an hour early to watch it every morning. That was the best.

  23. and Moonies all of whom have been mercilessly targeted by American series

    As if the rest of us didn’t already know, Russia once again confirms that it is its own Yakov Smirnoff joke by claiming American TV insults Mooninites.

    On the moon, your face hits my liquor bottle!

  24. Now if it had starred Jeffrey Combs you’d have a real case for creepiness.

    Well, one of the puppets on Mr. Dress-Up was conspicuously gender-neutral. That’s possibly more confusing than it is creepy, but still.

    And, incidentally, since apparently all things come back to Lovecraft, a Mr. Dress-Up/Lovecraft synthesis would epitomize creepiness.

  25. Lovecraft, Star Trek, and a (ho-hum) Peter Jackson movie. You can’t beat that.

    Don’t forget, he was also the voice of The Question on Justice League Unlimited.

  26. Holy crap. And here I thought it was high octane beer, cold wind, and long nights (Not to mention France!) that dufussated Canadians.

    Don’t forget weed. Actually, those shows have a weed-like calming effect. Lots of junk food and an open mind are required, man. =P

  27. I don’t care as much as I should about territorial disputes

    Excellent.

  28. A bit redundant as Scientologists, Catholics, Mormons and Moonies are all Christian.

    Yikes, you do know that Scientology has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity, or any other pre-existing religion? That the entire thing is a fabrication of Elron’s mind?

  29. I understand the urge, but doesn’t someone need to know what a philosophy is about before they understand the mocking of it?

    No, philosophies should be mocked first. If they stand up to the mocking then they may hold something of value worth exploring.

  30. Scientology has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity, or any other pre-existing religion? That the entire thing is a fabrication of Elron’s mind?

    What are the others a fabrication of?

  31. Red Shoe Diaries… puhleaze.

    If I wanna see sex and nudity, I wanna see some damned sex and nudity.

    And not the nudity regularly seen on Real Sex either. That’s nudity that should never be seen in public… or private.

  32. The best Zalman King movie is actually one he produced and co-wrote but didn’t direct, 1993’s Lake Consequence

    Truly one of the great titles (and an epically great, unsubtle title) of its genre. Might have to find it on DVD for a bit of adolescent nostelga.

  33. And, incidentally, since apparently all things come back to Lovecraft, a Mr. Dress-Up/Lovecraft synthesis would epitomize creepiness.

    “Instead of the children’s show I had hoped for, there came only a shuddering blackness and ineffable loneliness; and I saw at last a fearful truth which no one had ever dared to breathe before – the unwhisperable secret of secrets – The fact that this charade of puppets and false cheer is not a sentient perpetuation of Mr. Rogers as The Muppet Show is of Sesame Street and The Electric Company of the same, but that it is in fact quite dead, its sprawling body imperfectly embalmed and infested with queer animate things which have nothing to do with it as it was in life. “

  34. Holy crap. And here I thought it was high octane beer, cold wind, and long nights (Not to mention France!) that dufussated Canadians.

    High octane beer? I just visited Toronto, and it seems their beer (only available from from state run stores) is all regulated to 5% ABV.

  35. Red Shoe Diaries? What do you want to teach them with that? Sex is an utterly boring activity between people who move with sloth like slowness, and who do voice overs after swallowing three tylenol pms with whiskey shots?

    Mr Garrison: you see, children, those are the traits you will find in the drone breeders, while over here (flip to Scarface) we see what the producers in our society look like. Notice the dexterity, quick wit, and the ease they handle brutality, all necessary for go getters . . .

  36. Who do you think sent you over the edge? Was it Sherry Lewis, Burr Tillstrom, or Fred Rogers?

    Howdy Doody.

    Howdy, who premiered in March 1948 was an all-American boy with red hair, forty-eight freckles (one for each state in the Union), and a permanent smile. Howdy’s face symbolized the youthful energy of the new medium and appeared on the NBC color test pattern beginning in 1954.

  37. Anyone else expecting a Russia-bashing episode next season? Looking forward to it.

  38. I just visited Toronto, and it seems their beer (only available from from state run stores) is all regulated to 5% ABV.

    Actually The Beer Store fka Brewers Retail, while heavily regulated, is run by a consortium of Canadian breweries. Only beer made by those brewers is sold there. The Liquor Control Board of Ontario is the Provincial run outlet that has a monopoly on liquor, wine and imported beer.

    Outside of Utah, I have not been in any American state that has liquor laws approaching the absurdity of those of Ontario.

    Admittedly I have not been to Kansas or Mississippi, but I have been in dry counties in Tennessee.

    But then Florida has spoiled me. I always get pissed off when I go to New Jersey and can’t get beer in a grocery store.

  39. Mike Riggs,

    Congrats on your new gig as editor of the Washington “City Paper” weekly. Wishing you well there.

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