Blumenthal Declares War on Non-Alcoholic Drinking Games

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Sure, alcohol abuse is trending downward among human adolescents. But what about the Miis?

[Connecticut] Attorney General Richard Blumenthal today announced that a video game production company, in response to concerns he raised, says it will remove all alcoholic references in its "Beer Pong" game—including the name—that was unconscionably rated suitable for children as young as 13.

Blumenthal said he will closely scrutinize the revised product to assure that sufficient changes are made.

Blumenthal said that while he is pleased by JV Games' apparent plan to alter "Beer Pong" (now called "Pong Toss"), he remains concerned that the ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board) rated the alcohol-laced game as suitable for young teens, and refused to change that rating to Adult, as Blumenthal requested.

"The rating T 13+—suitable for teens 13 and older—is absolutely inappropriate," Blumenthal said. "The video game rating board is under the influence—rating frat party video drinking games suitable for minors. Even as JV Games agrees to alter its Beer Pong video game, both it and the rating board stubbornly deny the damaging influence of alcohol depiction in video games.

"This issue is urgent because the 'Frat Party Games' promoted by JV Games may soon offer others in this planned series."

I'm not sure Wii Beer Pong was ever going to fly off shelves—actual beer seems crucial here—but pause and consider Blumenthal's mindset. He demanded that JV Games change the rating to "Adult," or 18 and over, a more restrictive rating than that given to Grand Theft Auto IV (17 and over). Kids accustomed to mowing down virtual hookers would be advised to wait a year before approaching a cup of pixelated beer and a virtual ping pong ball.

Hat Tip: Ray Lehman.

NEXT: "Don't Forget the Children"

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  1. It’s not like he can actually prevent 16-year-olds from drinking, so he’ll try for an easier goal. Shoot for the stars, Blumenthal.

  2. Must have been awhile since he had his name in the news . . .

  3. Just once, I’d like to see a politician wring his hands and say about some perceived social ill, “It’s terrible, but the government can’t really do anything about it.”

  4. Blumenthal is Connecticut’s version of Eliot Spitzer. He’s more polite, more puritanical, and just as much of a controlling, publicity-seeking shithead.

    I wish he would go down like Spitzer but I think he’s way more careful.

  5. Pro Libertate

    Just once, I’d like to see a politician wring his hands and say about some perceived social ill, “It’s terrible, but the government can’t really do anything about it.”

    Keyes did that during the 1996 presidential primary debates. So I have seen it. Once. And then he went insane.

  6. Keyes was actually a decent guy for awhile.

  7. New cigarette flavor: Blue Menthol.

    Oh, dammit.

  8. I get a little tear in my eye when I think of that great game of fraternity: the vile “beer” that smelled like vomit, the vomit that smelled like vomit, and the breezies aroused by the scene of it…

  9. …and once you’re done playing Beer Pong, it’s time to load up the Wii Pii Pii (Disclaimer: Link is pointing to Youtube; Viacom will find out you watched the video.)

  10. Episiarch,

    Are you suggesting there is an attorney general that isn’t a controlling, publicity seeking shithead?

  11. Video beer pong with no beer.

    Woot. Party.

  12. I’m not sure Wii Beer Pong was ever going to fly off shelves-actual beer seems crucial here

  13. 2nd attempt –

    I’m not sure Wii Beer Pong was ever going to fly off shelves-actual beer seems crucial here

    You realize you can buy beer, and drink it while playing. It works for anyone who isn’t going to fit a ping pong table in their appartment.

    Of course once you start doing wii thumper, wii asshole, and wii tang, well there are some problems.

  14. I wonder if he would have been satisfied if it had been renamed “Root Beer Pong”.

    (reference explained here)

  15. Pixel beer gives me pixel gas.

  16. Blumenthal obviously never played Tapper.

  17. So close, Mo, just 37 minutes behind.

  18. Are you suggesting there is an attorney general that isn’t a controlling, publicity seeking shithead?

    No, but few are in the Spitzer/Blumenthal league.

  19. You realize you can buy beer, and drink it while playing. It works for anyone who isn’t going to fit a ping pong table in their appartment.

    But what are those 13 year-olds (about whom Blumenthal is so concerned) going to do? They can’t buy beer for another eight years and they live with their parents, not in their own apartment.

    Just kidding, we all know that kids use fake IDs, older siblings, or pay older strangers to buy their alcohol. But surely they couldn’t do the same to obtain an 17 or 18 and up video game…

  20. Episiarch,

    Agreed. Kinda like Highlander. There can be only one $%#@ing steamroller.

  21. Agreed. Kinda like Highlander. There can be only one $%#@ing steamroller.

    If only they were offing each other in the quest to be the one fucking steamroller.

    However, if it turns out that a Federal prosecutor wants to make his name by nailing Spitzer to the wall, I may have to change that statement.

  22. A Connecticut child is much safer playing beer pong than standing ‘twixt Richard Blumenthal and publicity.

  23. I can’t believe nobody has brought up the real issues here… Does the game allow bouncies or not? And if it allows bouncies, can you swat? And, by the way, these douchebags could have avoided a myriad of problems of they had just called it by its real name, Beirut, which has no explicit reference to alcohol.

  24. If non-alcoholic drinking games are outlawed, only outlaws will have non-alcoholic drinking games.

  25. Does Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal have a political Party affiliation?

    Wikipedia says he is a D, which seems to fit with the Reason identification policy, but you never know . . .

  26. Guy,

    I’ve run into the same designation. Since it’s Connecticut I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s a democrat.

  27. Wii tang

    So if most MMORPG’s have guilds, would this one have clans?

    But what about the Miis?

    Meddlers Insignificant In Strength?

    I don’t think they exist.

  28. Shh, don’t tell anyone, but there’s a cheap Wii title called “Game Party” that includes a game called “Ping Cup.”

  29. Keyes is still a decent guy.

    Vote Alan Keyes for President 2008
    Independent Candidate
    http://www.alankeyes.com
    http://www.AmericasRevival.com
    http://www.SelfGovernment.US

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