Democratic Convention Update: Organic Fanny Packs and a Ban on Fried Food

In case you were worried about how Democratic convention planning is going in Denver: Don't worry. A "Director of Greening" has been hired, so everybody can relax.

The Wall Street Journal reports on the Democratic convention's "lean 'n' green" catering rules:

No fried food. And, on the theory that nutritious food is more vibrant, each meal should include "at least three of the following colors: red, green, yellow, blue/purple, and white." (Garnishes don't count.)

But everything isn't always sunshine and radicchio in Denver:

The host committee for the Democratic National Convention wanted 15,000 fanny packs for volunteers. But they had to be made of organic cotton. By unionized labor. In the USA.

Official merchandiser Bob DeMasse scoured the country. His weary conclusion: "That just doesn't exist."

Ditto for the baseball caps. "We have a union cap or an organic cap," Mr. DeMasse says. "But we don't have a union-organic offering."

I'm sure Ms. Robinson will be able to handle these challenges. After all, what better preparation could there be for running the Verdant Directorate than a degree in environmental studies from UC Santa Barbara, a guest role as "Barbara" on West Wing season 3, episode 4 ("Ways and Means"), and an appearance as Party Guest/Bridesmaid in Nutty Professor II: The Klumps?

Well, two out of three ain't bad.

Comments

[Reinmoose]

This is a parody, right? Nobody could be that fitting of their own sterotype, right?

[Sticky keys]

Oh, oh, I want to make the first comment on the greenie chick…

I think she’s extremely well qualified. Very well qualified. Over the top qualified.

Heh.

[ChicagoTom]

I think she’s extremely well qualified. Very well qualified. Over the top qualified.

I would have said she has talent. She has a lot of talent.

[Let\'s start the inevitable...]

I have an organic product for Andrea Robinson to put in her fanny pack, if you catch my drift.

(I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH HER.)

[Franklin Harris]

Ditto for the baseball caps. “We have a union cap or an organic cap,” Mr. DeMasse says. “But we don’t have a union-organic offering.”

Which is exactly what you’d expect. Unionized businesses tend to shift as much capital toward non-human inputs as possible because their labor is artificially expensive. Organic products, on the other hand, are more labor intensive because they deliberately avoid things that make life easier like chemicals, genetic modification, etc.

It just goes to show that the more Democratic Party biases you have, the poorer you will be.

[P Brooks]

What? No freegan foraging expeditions to Colfax Avenue?

[Elemenope]

Well, if it weren’t for the incessant gotcha-games, everyone would be a happy little hypocrite, and we wouldn’t run into ridiculous situations like this.

But, no! We *must* practice what we preach, so the Dems must find organic union-shop goodies while the GOP must stop at nothing to prevent anything, ever, from being printed in Spanish at their convention.

[Episiarch]

each meal should include “at least three of the following colors: red, green, yellow, blue/purple, and white.”

Hmm. Blue/purple. That would encompass blueberries and maybe some other berries, and purple eggplant (skin only). Lots of choices there.

White? That’s basically cauliflower, white asparagus…and all milk products. Which are high in fat–animal fat (oh noes!).

The rest is easy.

[Anthony]

With that women running around the convention floor, Hillary is going to have to watch Bill like a hawk. Or, hit on her first.

[Fluffy]

I have an organic product for Andrea Robinson to put in her fanny pack

I know this is just a variation on an old and obvious joke, but I laughed my ass off at this one. Thanks.

Sometimes you just gotta stick with the jokes that work.

[h-dawg]

With that pic tossed into this libergeekfest, I’d be surprised if anyone actually reads the post before commenting.

[Tim]

Sort of off topic:

I went to a friend’s wedding that had a Vegan menu for the reception. I was not happy, but out of respect we stayed and ate (the open bar might also have influenced me). I was hungrier after the meal than before and stopped at Jack in the Box immediately afterward.

The groom’s entire family left after the ceremony and went to have a steak.

[Fluffy]

Epi –

White rice comes to mind. And aren’t some tofus white? And mashed potatoes? Lots of whites.

And for the blue/purple – why, you can get a steak that color if you know what you are doing.

[Timon19]

Tim,

Christ, it must have been bad if you were driven to Jack in the Box. I think there’s a very good reason there aren’t any of those in the Fast Food Capital of the World, Ohio.

[Tim]

Timon,

Jack in the Crack just happened to be the first place we came upon.

[Mister DNA]

I think we’re losing sight of the real issue here.

This isn’t about American made fanny packs, or union-made baseball caps.

It’s not about the absence of fried foods at the convention.

All that really matters is that somewhere along the line, someone involved in organizing the convention got to tap that.

[Episiarch]

White rice comes to mind. And aren’t some tofus white? And mashed potatoes? Lots of whites.

Yes, you are correct. There are also white beans, eggplant flesh is white, and others. My point was that the primary source of (pure) white tends to be dairy, which is a bit of a no-no for this theme.

And for the blue/purple – why, you can get a steak that color if you know what you are doing.

Nice. But probably another no-no.

[Franklin Harris]

I went to a friend’s wedding that had a Vegan menu for the reception. I was not happy, but out of respect we stayed and ate (the open bar might also have influenced me). I was hungrier after the meal than before and stopped at Jack in the Box immediately afterward.

The groom’s entire family left after the ceremony and went to have a steak.

10 to 1 says they’re divorced within 2 years.

[Feministing Post]

All that really matters is that somewhere along the line, someone involved in organizing the convention got to tap that.

Now, come on. I think it’s very sexist of you to imply that the only reason an attractive woman like this would get handed a make-work job at a political convention is because she was in a sexual relationship with someone in a position of authority!

Nah, just kidding. Pulled your leg there for a second!

[Neu Mejican]

Come on capitalists…

Clearly a market has opened up of organic-union-fair trade fanny packs.

Think about it…who wears fanny packs?
People who care about unions, organic, and fair trade.

Be sure to make them match the Subaru interiors and you’re golden.

Get to work and stop making fun of your customers.

[Tim]

10 to 1 says they’re divorced within 2 years.

Actually, it was the groom who was pushing all the vegan stuff. They wrote their own vows, and his included a list of left-wing causes capped with “I care about all those things, but I care about her more.”

[chuck goolsbee]

But, without fried food we can’t make BioDiesel!!

Idiots. Keep eating those French Fries America! It is the true path to Energy Independence!

–chuck

[Franklin Harris]

Actually, it was the groom who was pushing all the vegan stuff. They wrote their own vows, and his included a list of left-wing causes capped with “I care about all those things, but I care about her more.”

Make that 20 to 1.

[Nigel Watt]

Actually, it was the groom who was pushing all the vegan stuff. They wrote their own vows, and his included a list of left-wing causes capped with “I care about all those things, but I care about her more.”

I take it you knew the bride?

[Guy Montag]

Ms. Robinson is a hottie in the cartoon image, but nowhere near the hottie that K M-W is.

As for this policy for the DNC, has anybody noticed that they almost ditectly copied the Communist Party USA’s approach to CPUSA “gear” from a few years ago. They also appear to be surprised with the same outcome.

For those of you who forgot, CPUSA had a line of mugs, caps, etc. but had to stop offering them (for a while or forever, not sure) because they could not verify that everything was made with union labor.

[alittlesense]

Frnaklin:

I give you 2-1 odds they don’t make it to 6 months.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Well, many liberals do believe in “responsibility” when they act as consumers, so this is pretty natural for them. Interestingly the idea is to use the market to induce producers to make the “right things in the right way.”

I imagine this is less of a problem for conservatives as they tend to not give a hoot about responsible consuming. As long as they don’t serve baby fetuses at the GOP convention I would think anything goes.

[ChrisO]

Sounds to me like a pretty good deal for all the steak joints and fast-food places nearby. Party conventions nowadays are pretty much just an excuse for the bigwigs to party down for a couple of days, aren’t they? And I don’t think anyone gets a craving for tofu after a hard day of drinking…

[Mister DNA]

As long as they don’t serve baby fetuses at the GOP convention I would think anything goes.

They might even serve foie gras at the GOP convention, since they’ve toned down some of the French-hating since Sarkozy got elected.

[Timon19]

Actually, it was the groom who was pushing all the vegan stuff. They wrote their own vows, and his included a list of left-wing causes capped with “I care about all those things, but I care about her more.”

Were there audible groans from the congregants? Having just gone through this (without all the lefty sappiness) I know that preachy/long AND sticky-sweet vows can turn off an audience in a hurry, even if they’re all friends and family.

Luckily, we agreed to collaborate on our vows.

[Lamar]

So she’s basically the hypocrisy cop?

[Reinmoose]

I guess if you’re going to wear a fanny pack, you might as well be able to be self righteous about it.

[Episiarch]

All that really matters is that somewhere along the line, someone involved in organizing the convention got to tap that.

Well, they’ve been with the world. Maybe they’re tired of the soup du jour, and are looking for someone who understands their potato.

[Jamie Kelly]

Jack in the Crack …

I thought it was Jack in her Box.

[creech]

So who’s shocked that Democrats are treating their delegates like little children who can’t make informed choices about what to eat and wear? Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they required seat belts on all the delegates’ chairs,did pat-downs for smoking materials and banned Chilean wine from hospitality suites.

[brotherben?]

Jamie Kelly | June 25, 2008, 12:44pm | #

Jack in the Crack …

I thought it was Jack in her Box.”

since the first big e-coli scare back in the 80’s it has been “Crap in the Box.”

[Jose]

it’s not a “scare” when you actually kill people…

[Anthony]

Save this article, next time someone makes the comment that Libertarian conventions filled with crackpot ideas, refer to this article. Ruwart’s defense of child porn pales in comparison to organic cotton fanny packs.

[Gilbert Martin]

“Well, many liberals do believe in “responsibility” when they act as consumers, so this is pretty natural for them. Interestingly the idea is to use the market to induce producers to make the “right things in the right way.”

I imagine this is less of a problem for conservatives as they tend to not give a hoot about responsible consuming. As long as they don’t serve baby fetuses at the GOP convention I would think anything goes”

I’d say it’s more like conservatives don’t give a hoot about abiding by liberal’s proclomations about responsibilty, since there’s not a liberal alive on the planet who is the least bit capable of proving that their concept of what “responsible” menas is one iota superior to anyone else’s in any way.

[Rhywun]

I thought it was Jack in her Box.

OK, I was gonna make some stupid prudish comment like “enough with the frat boy commentary on every other thread already”… but damn that cracked me up.

[Rhywun]

No fried food. And, on the theory that nutritious food is more vibrant, each meal should include “at least three of the following colors: red, green, yellow, blue/purple, and white.”

This is just a dry run for what many of them want to implement after they win in November.

On the flip side, I wonder what crazy stereotypical horseshit the other side is going to come up with – flag pins with flashing lights? Red white and blue freedom fries?

[P Brooks]

Gag-in-the-Bag.

[Steve Verdon]

So is she walking or bicycling to Denver from LA?

[Naga Sadow]

Director of Green? HA!!! Sounds like someone wants a hot enviro chick around for eye candy.

[Elemenope]

On the flip side, I wonder what crazy stereotypical horseshit the other side is going to come up with – flag pins with flashing lights? Red white and blue freedom fries?

My money is still on deporting anyone at the convention who “seems too Mexican”.

[Guy Montag]

On the flip side, I wonder what crazy stereotypical horseshit the other side is going to come up with – flag pins with flashing lights? Red white and blue freedom fries?

They have the same one every time. Pat Boone concert.

[atrevete]

Your average McDonald’s quarter pounder has red tomato, green pickles, yellow cheese, and a white bun. Have it with a grape soda, and you’ve got all five colors!

[Mr. Nice Guy]

“I’d say it’s more like conservatives don’t give a hoot about abiding by liberal’s proclomations about responsibilty, since there’s not a liberal alive on the planet who is the least bit capable of proving that their concept of what “responsible” menas is one iota superior to anyone else’s in any way.”

This is some pretty incoherent shit. The idea behind “responsibility” in one’s consumption is simply not to provide demand for things one finds morally wrong. Of course you and Democratic delegates probably disagree over WHAT is or is not morally wrong, but certainly you are not arguing that one should patronize producers whose products or practices you find morally repugnant.

[Elemenope]

The idea behind “responsibility” in one’s consumption is simply not to provide demand for things one finds morally wrong.

Barring the notion that becoming the living avatar of the Church of Ted Kacynski is a good idea, at what arbitrary point does out purchasing habits become decoupled from our moral sense? Because in the manufacturing process of virtually every product there is usually something half-way legitimate to complain about, between labor issues and ingredients/harvesting to pollution issues and exploitation.

[Gilbert Martin]

“Of course you and Democratic delegates probably disagree over WHAT is or is not morally wrong”

There’s no probably about it.

Particularly since it is an absolute physical impossibility for any liberal who has ever drawn breath on this earth in the entire span of human history to have ever accomplished anything whatsoever in his or her entire life that would prove he or she is any wiser than me as to what is or isn’t “moral”.

[Episiarch]

The idea behind “responsibility” in one’s consumption is simply not to provide demand for things one finds morally wrong

I’ve tried feeling sorry for people whose lives are so controlled by their obsessions of morality that the simplest acts such as eating become moral struggles, but I can’t. Because I just don’t give a fuck. Go get your fucking hair shirt and whip yourself with your cat o’nine tails and be done with it already.

[Elemenope]

Particularly since it is an absolute physical impossibility for any liberal who has ever drawn breath on this earth in the entire span of human history to have ever accomplished anything whatsoever in his or her entire life that would prove he or she is any wiser than me as to what is or isn’t “moral”.

Ensconced in your cocoon of absolute moral superiority, doesn’t it get really uncomfortably warm in there?

Or do you provide your own air conditioning?

[SugarFree]

I’ve tried feeling sorry for people whose lives are so controlled by their obsessions of morality that the simplest acts such as eating become moral struggles, but I can’t.

They really are just a cheap source of humor, until they start making their preferences law. This is what people don’t get about these posts. I don’t give a shit if they want union organic cotton fanny packs, but I will mock the fuck out of them to keep a law to require union organic cotton fanny packs from being taken seriously.

Maybe if enough people had busted out laughing when Hearst Newspapers editorials said “Marihuana is responsible for the raping of white women by crazed negroes.” we wouldn’t in this stupid drug war.

[auntieseeby]

If the Ron Paul campaign had hired this chick to be their press secretary, I’ll bet there would be a lot more media coverage of Federal Reserve policy right now.

[Fluffy]

I’ve tried feeling sorry for people whose lives are so controlled by their obsessions of morality that the simplest acts such as eating become moral struggles, but I can’t.

Actually, I have to disagree.

It’s not the fact that they’re trying to be moral that I find absurd – it’s the list of things they feel necessary to maintain morality that’s absurd.

I personally would not knowingly buy goods manufactured or grown by chattel slaves, because I would consider it immoral to do so. I also personally would not knowingly purchase stolen goods from a burglar, again because I would consider it immoral to do so.

I imagine the above two examples would go for just about anyone here. Except perhaps for Mr. Martin, who is far above such petty concerns and who would not allow you to tell him that buying such goods would be wrong.

That means that you are, in fact, allowing the simple and everyday act of buying something be impacted by moral considerations. So it’s not being influenced by morality that’s silly or mockable – it’s thinking that buying organic union fanny packs is necessary to be moral that’s silly and mockable.

[Episiarch]

I don’t give a shit if they want union organic cotton fanny packs, but I will mock the fuck out of them to keep a law to require union organic cotton fanny packs from being taken seriously.

Total agreement here. All morons who, whenever we mock someone’s goofy choices, give us shit for making fun of people’s preferences, please note the above.

[Episiarch]

So it’s not being influenced by morality that’s silly or mockable – it’s thinking that buying organic union fanny packs is necessary to be moral that’s silly and mockable.

We are in total agreement. Note that I said:

“people whose lives are so controlled by their obsessions of morality”

I was implying that taking the morality so far is the problem, not having morality in the first place. In the post two before mine LMNOP had basically said the same thing and I didn’t feel like duplicating his point.

[Guy Montag]

I feel the urge to sponsor a vegetarian, but I had a yummy chicken burrito for lunch and am too full for any other animals today.

[Rhywun]

They have the same one every time. Pat Boone concert.

*Shudder*.

[Guy Montag]

You know, Ms. Robinson could be a plant from Ann Coulter’s staff to make the Democrats look foolish.

[Invisible Finger]

Save this article, next time someone makes the comment that Libertarian conventions filled with crackpot ideas, refer to this article. Ruwart’s defense of child porn pales in comparison to organic cotton fanny packs.

There’s crackpot ideas you can laugh at because 5% of the people believe in them, and crackpot ideas you must respect because 12% of the people believe in them.

Here’s some other crackpot ideas that I’m told I must respect: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, democracy, full faith and credit of the United States Government…

[billy bob]

I used to have a really nice organic leather fanny pack. Matched my boots.

[Guy Montag]

I really ned to print up some “Organic Hydrocarbon Powered” stickers for the Dems so they can drive their older vehicles guilt free.

[alan]

I imagine this is less of a problem for conservatives as they tend to not give a hoot about responsible consuming. As long as they don’t serve baby fetuses at the GOP convention I would think anything goes.

There is a reason for this: for whatever else one can say about Republicans acting like douche bags (freedom fries!), at least they are fucking normal.

There is no such thing as responsible nor irresponsible consumption. You are just suffering from a bad meme implantation.

[LarryA]

Ms. Robinson can get all the cotton canvas union-made fanny packs she wants at the Army Surplus store. Of course they’re used, (WWII, Korea, Vietnam) and only fit a pistol belt.

And they might not project the image she wants.

[Maurkov]

alan, so there’s nothing irresponsible about, say, buying wild black rhino horn?

[MJ]

Get a plate with the blue food. Blue food grants immortality!

[hanmeng]

Maybe she’ll be president one day. Reagan started out as a cheezy actor, after all.

[Paul]

Democrats are such a parody of themselves. I wonder what the Republicans will do?

[Allen]

No only can the Dems not raise enough money to pay for their big party but they can’t even find anyone to make their gimicky party favors.