Comics

Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?

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Can anybody figure this out?

Writes the Comics Curmudgeon: "AOL-themed joke from 1998 + talking feces = desperate, desperate cry for help."

I tend to agree, but I'm not sure why.

Update: The Onion, of course, publishes Ziggy in Spanish, which makes it at least 15 percent funnier. Though I'm not sure why of that, either.

NEXT: Alaska-Size Chutzpah

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  1. It’s obviously from Mr. Hankey.

  2. Ziggy comics are like Zen koans, only they lead to madness rather than enlightenment.

  3. Steampunk desktop?

  4. I believe its a comment on needless technological innovation, such as toilets that let you know you have email. It may be neat that its integrated with email, but its totally useless.

  5. I don’t get it. There’s probably some obvious explanation that’ll make me feel retarded, though.
    To the best of my knowledge, poo is a poor conductor, so I can’t imagine electronic messages being relayed via.

  6. Foul temptress! I bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too doddering too.

  7. Thanks, stephen. Zigs left the seat up, I just noticed. Typical bachelor.

  8. I’ve often referred to taking a #2 as “sending a message to the governor”, but the governor has never said anything back to me…….

  9. So, the joke is that AOL is crap?

  10. I’m with Stephen the Goldberger. It’s an iToilet or e-toilet or something. The only problem is, between the time the strip was conceived and the time it was printed, the Japanese invented, manufactured and brought to market that exact gadget.

    No, seriously. They are really into high tech toilets.
    http://www.theplumber.com/japan.html

  11. First thing I thought was “Japanese toilet.”

  12. The only problem is, between the time the strip was conceived and the time it was printed, the Japanese invented, manufactured and brought to market that exact gadget.

    The strip was printed Monday. Boy those Japs work fast.

  13. JLM,

    Funny. From Deadspin I now use “negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages.”

  14. Isn’t “Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?” a line that Mr. Burns from The Simpsons says?

  15. I like how Ziggy responds to the circumstances of the comic the exact way readers will respond to the comic itself. Makes me want to write a bullshit po-mo essay on layers of contextualization.

  16. quick poll:

    which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy, or Chip Bok?

  17. Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win Not Totally Suck?

  18. I think its the guy that draws Mallard Fillmore.

  19. So, the joke is that AOL is crap?

    Not a joke.

  20. which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy, or Chip Bok?

    Bill Griffith, definitely. Wait, you said Ziggy?

  21. which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy

    I’ve never once to my recollection laughed at Ziggy or Marmaduke. It’s funny, because to me Ziggy is the exact opposite of “The Far Side”. “The Far Side” was more complex and yet one laughed more regularly and never got the impression that Gary Larson was about to commit suicide.

  22. That was my email inbox at my old TAXMAN email address just before it was spammed out of existence in the space of two weeks.

    I’m a firm believer that the delete key looms large but when you get hundreds of spams a day, well, then you pull the plug. Or maybe you flush the toilet. I don’t know.

  23. AOL stock in the crapper?

  24. Heh, I had no trouble getting that one. Most of the e-mail I get belongs… well, the pic tells you where it belongs. And I just can’t get rid of it. It forces me to deal with it, even when I know it’s all crap.

  25. This gives me an idea. If I ever get syndicated, I’m going to start drawing random stuff, leading people to come up with multiple interpretations. It will only be weeks later that they discover I was pulling some sort of Dadaist thought experiment and there was no explicit meaning to my work.

    Daring move by Tom Wilson.

  26. Fred Basset.

  27. I believe that this refers to an old Google April Fool joke. Google was offering internet access through the sewer lines and you connected via your toilet.

    http://www.google.com/tisp/

  28. Ziggy comics are like Zen koans, only they lead to madness rather than enlightenment.

    So Wilson is Duchamp, an evil zen master and Rorschach all rolled into one.

  29. It will only be weeks later that they discover I was pulling some sort of Dadaist thought experiment and there was no explicit meaning to my work.

    I apologize. I forgot that the New Yorker had already been publishing such cartoons for years.

  30. Marmaduke, Fred Basset, or Howard Huge?

    Category: sucking.

  31. I just had one of my bathroom epiphaneis, wherein I realized that the correct Homer Simpson quote referenced above is as follows:

    “Foul temptress — she probably thinks Ziggy has gotten too preachy, too.”

  32. For all the Marmaduke haters: marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com.

  33. Bill Griffith, definitely. Wait, you said Ziggy?

    You bastard, you beat me too it. Zippy the Pinhead is possibly the worst cartoon I have ever had the misfortune to cast my eyes upon. It manages to be surreal yet incredibly stupid and completely unfunny or profound all at the same time. It’s like being on an acid trip and watching Howard’s End.

  34. gmatts | May 14, 2008, 4:01pm | #
    Isn’t “Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?” a line that Mr. Burns from The Simpsons says?

    Yes it is, it’s from “Brush With Greatness” the Best Simpsons Episode Ever! Which also contains the Best Simposns Line Ever!

    Lisa: While I know first hand how fragile young talent can be, I’d love to hear the particulars of how your gift was squashed.

  35. Nothing is less funny than family circus. Even kittens being run over my a lawn mower are funnier (though I should should be careful saying on this website, I am sure there are a few who think that would be a riot). 🙂

  36. I love these things, though.

  37. kcjerith —

    But Family Circus is all about kittens being run over by lawn mowers.

    And yeah, it’s a riot.

  38. Marmaduke, Fred Basset, or Howard Huge?

    Category: sucking.

    Uhh, Family Circus FTW in this category.

  39. My kids love Lio

    I have somewhat warped children. Then again, maybe not. My 7-year old already thinks Family Circus sucks.

  40. You bastard, you beat me too it. Zippy the Pinhead is possibly the worst cartoon I have ever had the misfortune to cast my eyes upon.

    Yet, papers are swamped with protests every time one pulls it. I chalk the protests up to performance art; they can’t be serious.

  41. Much like network tv or big-budget Hollywood movies, the newspaper funnies have been completely and utterly upset and surpassed by far more witty and intelligent people creating superior content for less money.

    I’ll take any randomly picked strip from Something Positive or Wondermark over an entire year’s worth of pretty much anything in the newspaper.

  42. A reader survey done a couple years back at my newspaper found Family Circus was readers’ favorite “comic.” Tells you something about today’s newspaper readership, I suppose…

  43. Those of you who haven’t discovered Disfunctional Family Circus, try this for fun:
    http://dfc.furr.org/

  44. I will say I think there are very few people who both like “Family Circus” and enjoy “Adult Swim”. I suspect that Family Circus’ audience is the 50+ crowd; it’s tough to enjoy that pap if you have an even slightly irreverent or “edgy” sense of humor.

    I’m a little worried that some peoples’ sense of humor is so dull that they enjoy “Marmaduke” and “Family Circus”, but it clearly takes all kinds…

  45. Heh. “Wondermark” is fecking awesome.

  46. Order of the Stick is the only comic I “regularly” read. With OOTS, you have to put regularly in quotes.

  47. I agree with Stephen: The idea that everything has to be connected to the internet and provide multiple internet functions along with whatever it started out to be in the first place is, well, just crap.

    RE Zippy: I would love a lapel button with Zippy saying “Are we having mail yet?”

  48. I’ll agree with Something Positive… one of my personal favorites… I’d also throw in the Book of Biff and Ctrl-Alt-Del as well.

    Nephilium

  49. My euphemism for taking a crap is “downloading a file.” I guess if the toilet backs up, “you’ve got mail” is kinda in the ballpark.

  50. Not funny, but still funnier than most of H&R’s “Friday Funnies”.

  51. I always liked Red Meat .

  52. Ziggy = Sucky

    Questions?

  53. I think it is just a typo…

    It is supposed to read:

    “You have e-coli”

    Poop diagnosis from your toilet will be here sooner than your hydrogen car.

  54. Just saw something over at CNET: “Gates: Every surface to be a computer.” Maybe Ziggy was anticipating Bill’s keynote speech at the CEO Summit this morning. Or maybe Bill got the idea from Ziggy! Stranger things have happened, and even faster, too!

  55. # Neu Mejican | May 14, 2008, 7:05pm | #

    # Poop diagnosis from your toilet will be
    # here sooner than your hydrogen car.

    Not to worry. I want a battery EV anyway. Toilet analysis (pun recognized, but not intended) and diagnosis sounds like a great technological movement (pun intended, but barely recognizable) in the making.

  56. Hmm…maybe Ziggy is more prescient than it seems upon initial perusal, but its relevance is masked by its greeting card-bland illustration style.

    I guess if Ziggy were a real person, he’d look like a midget Karl Malden.

  57. The cartoon would’ve been funnier had the toilet sad, “Get thee to an apothecary.”

  58. Worst comic strip?

    Am I the only one here to have suffered from Patrick McDonnell’s Mutts?

    Not only is the writing more inane and schmaltzy than Family Circus, but the drawing makes Bill Griffith’s work look inspired.

  59. re Art-P.O.G.@3:51: “Thanks, stephen. Zigs left the seat up, I just noticed. Typical bachelor.”

    Not sure what you’re looking at. The toilet cover is up but the seat is down, not up.

  60. Worst Comic Strip?

    Gotta be the Chick Tracks. Some are SOOO bad they are funny.

    But the parodies are the best.

    Like this one:
    http://www.fredvanlente.com/downloads/WhyWeHere.pdf

  61. @Shirt. Mea culpa. You’re right. Still, many women seem to want their guests to drop the cover along with the seat. But the fact that the cover’s up and the seat’s down does seem to support the hypothesis that Ziggy just took a dump.

  62. Gotta be the Chick Tracks. Some are SOOO bad they are funny.

    Even though I don’t agree with the theology for the most part, they are better than Marmaduke/Ziggy. 1) The art’s better 2)I, like you, have laughed more times at a Chick’s Track than I have at Marmaduke and 3) No matter how much I disagree with the religious dogma, Chick’s Tracks are still better-written than Marmaduke.

  63. I miss Bill Watterson.

  64. re: Art-P.O.G@8:45

    Actually, if everyone put the cover down after using the toilet, the alleged toilet seat gender war wouldn’t exist.

    Honestly though, every person, whether male or female, usually has to reconfigure the toilet seat in order to use it. For females to insist it must always be left configured for them is sure some brazen arrogance.

  65. Art-P.O.G., Chick tracts are good in the way Ed Wood films are good, not in a way that would flatter the artist. When I laugh at a Chick tract it is not in a manner the artist intended. Chick wants to convert me. That goal has not been accomplished.

  66. Perhaps I find Chick tracts funny due to Poe’s Law.

  67. For intended awful hilarity, it’s hard to top the ‘Political cartoons’ in “The Onion”.

  68. Anyone who’s had the misfortune of using AOL or the greater misfortune of seeing the movie knows the correct verbiage is, “You’ve got mail.”

  69. I think “You have pinworms” would be more useful.

  70. How about “Want to buy Viagra?” 🙂

  71. But then the toilet would have to know if he had a “grower” or a “shower”.

  72. Lio is currently the best newspaper strip in the U.S.

  73. ‘Lio’ is certainly one of the best. I also like ‘The Boondocks’.

    The all-timers have mostly already been mentioned; ‘Peanuts’, ‘Calvin & Hobbes’, ‘Foxtrot’, ‘The Far Side’.

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