Save Us, Racist Superman!

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Plucked from the sticky bowels of YouTube, this commercial for an Illinois auto dealer has a certain resonance as Clinton and Obama get ready for their (21st!) debate.


If you have trouble viewing the ad, here's a summary.

(Terrifying, bucktoothed sumo wrestler "Import Man" (representing "Asian capitalists") harasses nebbish woman.)

IMPORT MAN: Pay mo' fo' eeempot cahhhs from meeeeee! Hahahaha!

(Super Don, America's Doughiest Metahuman, flies into the scene.)

SUPER DON: I'm Super Don from South Oak Dodge in Matteson, and I can save you from the import car trap.

(He punches import man.)

IMPORT MAN: OOOOH!

(Import Man FLIES into the stratosphere, pursued for some reason by Super Don, as the hero READS a list of cheap cars.)

SUPER DON: Buy American from South Oak Dodge and Chryslers!

IMPORT MAN: Curse you, Super Don!

We now know why Lou Dobbs' show is uncancellable—nativists have powers.

NEXT: A Cup Holder in the Bathroom, and Other Brilliant Ideas

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  1. Save Us, Racist Superman!

    Damn, I was thinking this would be joe’s bio page or something with the title.

  2. Part of the reason I got out of the video production game is because I didn’t want to spend 8 hours a day sitting in front of a computer, editing together this kind of moronic bullshit.

    As a rule, the world would be a much better place if all car salesmen and dealership owners were simply fed to a pit of ill tempered alligators.

  3. I often expressed my love and support capitalism and free markets.
    I never said it was always pretty.
    Or intelligent.
    Or tasteful.

  4. Whoever made this bit of genius must also be behind “Neil”.

  5. No doubt the liberal Democrat PC Police will want this banned, but I for one will stand up for free speech!!

  6. BTW, nebbish is a noun. I had to look it up, but I will now gloat over my linguistic superiority.

  7. 1. I live in Chicago and I’ve never seen this commercial before… Did it get pulled right away? It’s no “Eagle Man,” but Bob Rohrman’s getting a little stale, so I welcome the competition.

    2. Racist or not, you gotta love the touch at the end where the sumo wrestler’s voice is dubbed.

  8. Holy crap, is this a current ad?

    Wow.

    Shouldn’t the people at DC be all over this infringement?

  9. Neil, it’s mouth-breathing, half-witted dolts like you that hold back the aesthetic.

  10. Mr. Eisner –

    Perhaps Weigel is using nebbish not as an adjective, but as a noun adjunct – like “police woman” or “mystery woman”.

  11. But which one is supposed to be Hillary and which one Obama?

    Oh, I get it, Super Don is McCain.

  12. This is kinda like if Pat Buchanan was behind the Victory Auto Wreckers ad campaign(Chicagoans will get that).

  13. Of course it is never mentioned but IMPORT MAN has a superpower, too: Chrysler quality.

    Reminds me of an old joke about the standing order for German bomber pilots during WWII not to bomb any Lucas Electric plants, because “They’re on our side.”

  14. In form, function and philosphy it’s brilliant!
    Take that pc purveyors and thought police.

  15. [quote]In form, function and philosphy it’s brilliant![/quote]

    I’m going to assume you’re trolling. But I could spend about twenty minutes explaining the shitty compositing, the boring camera angles, and the utter stupidity of the concept.

  16. ClubMedSux | April 16, 2008, 5:41pm | #

    1. I live in Chicago and I’ve never seen this commercial before… Did it get pulled right away? It’s no “Eagle Man,” but Bob Rohrman’s getting a little stale, so I welcome the competition.

    It’s Bob ROOOOAAAAARRRR-man.

  17. AWESOME.

    I love cable commercials, WGN and TNT were the first two cable channels to come to my small town – I grew up singing 588-2300 Empire! So I’ve always known where to get carpet in Chicago, and now I know where to get a Chrysler.

  18. Reminds me of a great T-shirt I saw in Greenwich Village a few years ago: BUY AMERICAN – FUCK PRICE AND QUALITY

  19. 1. I live in Chicago and I’ve never seen this commercial before… Did it get pulled right away? It’s no “Eagle Man,” but Bob Rohrman’s getting a little stale, so I welcome the competition.

    I haven’t seen this ad either, although I would imagine it runs normally during daytime TV. Just like the majority of the Eagle Man commercials!

    My favorite Eagle man commercial was the one that had Mancow in it.

    It’s Bob ROOOOAAAAARRRR-man.

    What’s worse, to me, is that Howard Pontiac, Elmhurst – “On Graaaaaaaaaand Avenue” – is still trotting out Howard’s “grandmother” and the bitch is STILL making cookies for each car he sells. She’s been baking cookies for the past decade…you’d think she’d be diabetic by now or died of an obesity related heart attack.

    I do miss the Celozzi-Ettleson Chevrolet guys — “Where you always save more money” – I think one of them died recently.

  20. I grew up singing 588-2300

    The old joke, when I was growing up, was whenever someone wanted your phone number, you would give them the Empire phone number, one digit at a time, and slowly and see if they would catch on.

    I am also STILL a bit disturbed by the weird addition of “800” in front of the 588-2300 number. I don’t remmeber exactly when they added it, but it is one of the shittiest editing jobs ever.

    Full Disclosure, we have empire carpeting at home

  21. It’s Bob ROOOOAAAAARRRR-man.

    Is he still cross-dressing in his ads?

  22. What’s worse, to me, is that Howard Pontiac, Elmhurst – “On Graaaaaaaaaand Avenue” – is still trotting out Howard’s “grandmother” and the bitch is STILL making cookies for each car he sells.

    Every time I pass Grand Ave. (including the one up near Gurnee which isn’t even the right one), I turn to my wife and say “On Graaaaaaaaaaaaand Avenue,” and it drives her nuts. I think it’s hilarious. She thinks… well, she reads H&R too. I’ll let her speak for herself.

    Oh, and definitely buy Empire over Luna. I play softball (16″ of course) against the Luna Carpet team, and they’re a bunch of dicks.

  23. BTW, nebbish is a noun

    The adjective would be nebbishish.

  24. I once saw a Chevy dealer’s ad which featured an animation of a waving US flag for most of the duration of the commercial, and the voice-over: “Buy American – American cars are as good as, or in some cases better than, Japanese cars.”

  25. I turn to my wife and say “On Graaaaaaaaaaaaand Avenue,” and it drives her nuts.

    HILARIOUS!!

    Sadly, my wife isn’t from the ChicagoLand area and wouldn’t appreciate that.

    One day when I saw the updated Howard’s grandma commercial I started laughing and shaking my head that he was still using the old shtick — she didn’t get it at all.


  26. Every time I pass Grand Ave. (including the one up near Gurnee which isn’t even the right one), I turn to my wife and say “On Graaaaaaaaaaaaand Avenue,” and it drives her nuts. I think it’s hilarious. She thinks… well, she reads H&R too. I’ll let her speak for herself.

    Oh, and definitely buy Empire over Luna. I play softball (16″ of course) against the Luna Carpet team, and they’re a bunch of dicks.

    It was really annoying the first 100 or so times. Now it’s gotten kind of funny. I guess we really can get used to anything…

  27. Come for the racism … stick around for the protectionism!

    Why are car dealers the only businesses that insist on making their own homemade commercials? They’re just gawdawful. There was an ad for MasterBuilt Motors in Birmingham some years back that was just some 70 year old gas bag saying “MasterBuilt Motors” 3 times fast. It was just odd.

  28. @ChicagoTom

    The old joke, when I was growing up, was whenever someone wanted your phone number, you would give them the Empire phone number, one digit at a time, and slowly and see if they would catch on.

    And who could forget Timmy from Long Chevrolet?

    I remember there was a going joke at the time: “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that John Gacy has escaped from prison. The good news is that Timmy from Long Chevrolet has disappeared.”

  29. “Headon, apply directly to the forehead.”
    “Headon, apply directly to the forehead.”
    “Headon, apply directly to the forehead.”

  30. Trivia contest: who said this to an alliance of western-Pennsylvania manufacturers yesterday:

    The truth is, trade is here to stay. We live in a global economy. For America’s future to be as bright as our past, we have to compete. We have to win.

    Not every job that has left is coming back. And not every job lost is due to trade -automation has made plants more efficient so they can make the same amount of steel with few workers. These are the realities.

    I also don’t oppose all trade deals. I voted for two of them because they have the worker and environmental agreements I believe in. Some of you disagreed with me on this but I did what I thought was right.

  31. “Why are car dealers the only businesses that insist on making their own homemade commercials”

    Don’t forget furniture stores – possibly even more obnoxious.

  32. Whoever made this bit of genius must also be behind “Neil”.

    And unsursprisingly, Neil’s defending this racist garbage. It’s even worse and more hypcoritical than, say, Lou Dobbs since his “Freedom’s Watch” site claims to support free markets, but I guess they don’t like it when those uppity foreigners (i.e., Asian automakers) get better at capitalism than Americans.

    And who still bashes Japanese cars these days? It’s 2008, not 1985. Besides, aren’t most Toyotas and Hondas made in the U.S. now?

  33. hypcoritical=hypocritical

  34. Trivia contest: who said this to an alliance of western-Pennsylvania manufacturers yesterday:

    Super Don?

  35. unsursprisingly=unsurprisingly

  36. Nobody bother me, either.

  37. Oh, I get it, Super Don is McCain.

    Yeah, but the writers made it too subtle, and it went over most peoples’ heads. If they’d wanted people to get the McCain thing, they’d have had him call the sumo-guy “Import Gook”.

    (In fairness, McCain hasn’t publicly called anybody a gook in, like, a couple of years.)

  38. And who could forget Timmy from Long Chevrolet?

    Pig Mannix

    Wow.

    I hadn’t seen that one — but that was terrible!

    “OVER 200 CHEVETTES!!” – until 10PM —

    Wow

  39. I can’t hear you, Fluffy. I’m too busy being smug.

  40. Give us our Joe back, Obama!

  41. W. Eisner | April 16, 2008, 7:17pm | #
    I can’t hear you, Fluffy. I’m too busy being smug.

    If there is anyone who deserves to be smug about this, it is me. I have been using nebbish, and doing so correctly, for a few weeks now in post in the hope that that word would
    catch on and it is all part of a diabolical scheme I have that will unfurl in the next few months.

  42. It’s free speech, baby. If you don’t like his adds, don’t do business with him or organize a boycott.

  43. The funny thing, of course, is that the Japanese cars are mostly made in the US, and the American cars are more and more being made in Mexico.

  44. Hey Super-Don:

    Two words: FUCK. YOU.

    You can kiss my American nut-sac.

    Who let these goddamn racists into my country?

  45. Apaulogist–I don’t think anyone is suggesting otherwise.

    Trailer-trash shit like this just deserves to be savagely mocked.

  46. It’s free speech, baby. If you don’t like his adds, don’t do business with him or organize a boycott.

    Despite being in the market for some furniture, I absolutely refuse to buy anything from American Furniture Warehouse because the television commercials Jake Jabs produces are almost as bad as eye cancer.

  47. Nobody bother me | April 16, 2008, 7:11pm | #

    Nobody bother me, either.

    That’s “no-bah-dy bod-er me eideh” Get it right, will ya?

    And with that, I bring you The Trunk Monkey.

    Yeah, I know you’ve already seen it, but it’s never too late for monkeys.

  48. I am guessing that Emppppiiiire ( today) has the 800 in front because its not just a local Chicago place. If I want to order DOminos pizza in Nebraska, I don’t call the one in Ypsilanti Michigan with no area code ( also where I am from area code is required for all local calls- so I get weirded out when I see ads anywhere with no area code).

  49. As a rule, the world would be a much better place if all car salesmen and dealership owners were simply fed to a pit of ill tempered alligators.

    I don’t know. I kind of like the Midget Cannon and the Sumo Wrestler.

  50. It’s free speech, baby. If you don’t like his adds, don’t do business with him or organize a boycott.

    That’s precisely my point.

  51. While we’re on the subject, Superman slapped Japs.

  52. Is there any way to lock the crack staff of Reason in a room with about 20 or so UAW workers? That’d make a great video.

  53. Sure, Lonewacko, right after you go into the room with 20 Mexicans.

  54. Is there any way to lock the crack staff of Reason in a room with about 20 or so UAW workers? That’d make a great video.

    Leave it up to a vile scumfuck like you to support racism and violence.

  55. I wonder if Lonewacko thought beating Vincent Chin to death was totally justified? Sure, he was actually of Chinese descent, but hey, they’re “all the same” anyway, right?

  56. Orange Line Special | April 17, 2008, 12:23am | #
    Is there any way to lock the crack staff of Reason in a room with about 20 or so UAW workers? That’d make a great video.

    What exactly are you saying here? That UAW workers are buffoons who would beat the reason writers because their political views are different? It was a foolish comment.

  57. Chrysler and Nissan just announced a partnership to build cars.. so are we going to see a new commercial where Super Don and Import Man make up?

    Nissan and Chrysler

  58. I realize this is difficult to understand, but Reason is engaging in a LogicalFallacy, trying to claim that because someone created an apparently questionable commercial (sorry, didn’t watch it) then we should just let the U.S. AutoIndustry twist in the wind.

    And, while unions are reknowned for thuggery, it wouldn’t have to be that way! Reason’s crack staff could simply engage in a spirited discussion with the union members, with the latter suggesting that Reason either act like Americans or leave the country. They’d make the point that the U.S. AutoIndustry is vital and cannot be allowed to fail. They’d help Reason stop acting like tranzis and start supporting U.S. interests. That certainly doesn’t have to involve useless gestures like a BuyAmerican sticker or just words of encouragement, but might involve a plan and/or argumentation designed to make the U.S. AutoIndustry more efficient and competitive. That would be the patriotic libertarian approach, not the tranzi/different-kind-of-patriotism approach favored by Reason.

  59. Reason is engaging in a LogicalFallacy

    They were engaging in making fun of an idiot. I can see how that is in your blind spot, though.

    we should just let the U.S. AutoIndustry twist in the wind

    “twist in the wind” = compete. Wah.

  60. What’s Weigel’s point, besides that he’s a hip anti-racist?

    I have no interest in watching this commercial, I assume it’s just goofy, but I don’t find it “racist” to use a Sumo wrestler to represent Japanese imports. And if the guy specializes in American cars, then it’s his right to try to make imports look bad, no matter how inaccurate that may be.

  61. if you like crappy local ads, look up some of the gems that came out of New Orleans on youtube; I esp. recommend SEAFOOD CITY and FRANKIE AND JONNIE’S FURNITURE…

  62. while we’re on the subject of bad local tv commercials, who can forget the montgomery flea market rap?

  63. I grew up singing 588-2300 Empire!

    Wow… flashback! I lived in Stevensville and St. Joseph, Michigan, for two years in the mid-80s, and we got the Chicago channels. Despite the fact that I remember nothing about the commercials (or even that they had anything to do with carpeting), that tune is indelibly printed in my brain, right next to the song for the Spider-Man shorts from the Electric Company.

  64. Lee Iacocca is still running Chrysler?

    Speaking of badly-made car-dealer ads, can anyone from Detroit tell me if Mel Farr is still wearing his Superman cape?

  65. the montgomery flea market is so much better in so many ways.

    i do have a weird love of shitty compositing in bad commercials. i can’t explain it. it’s like when i see seven or eight layers of lens flare on a club flyer. it just makes me happy.

  66. I grew up singing 588-2300 Empire!

    I had finally gotten that out of my head 10 years after living in Chicagoland, and now its back.

    Thanks. Thanks a lot.

  67. Why are car dealers the only businesses that insist on making their own homemade commercials?

    Watch more late night cable. I have a twisted love of the inane commercials I get for local businesses. Of course, the biggest offender down here is Mattress Mac and his goddamned ubiquitous furniture commercials.

  68. Why are car dealers the only businesses that insist on making their own homemade commercials?

    And let’s not forget local attorneys. My personal favorite in Chicago is Isadore Bernstein, who looks like he’s about to keel over and die in his somewhat obscure but classic late-night commercial. During my two years in Colorado, I grew quite fond of Frank Azar, “The Strong Arm.”

  69. Oh, and this is the best (by which I mean worst) attorney commercial EVER.

  70. I feel stupider for having watched that commercial.

  71. I am also STILL a bit disturbed by the weird addition of “800” in front of the 588-2300 number. I don’t remmeber exactly when they added it, but it is one of the shittiest editing jobs ever.

    I was visiting family in Boston a couple years ago and a local station there was running the same ad. You can’t get away from the creepy Empire Carpet guy. He’s bad AND nationwide!

    Still, I sorta miss the creepy Fencl-Tufo puppets and Harry Schmerler you singing Ford dealer. At least Al Piemonte is still sterotyping Italian hand gestures.

  72. And some of you thought I was making up this town, where I lived as a kid, and it’s wall-to-wall racism!

    I left in 1975 and this is the first I have heard of that car dealership. The closest Dodge dealer I remember was in Park Forest, or close to there. First time I saw a 1969 Charger Daytona was in their showroom.

    I wonder how close to Lincoln Mall and the Cracker Barrel (was there in 1998 when I visited last) this dealership sat?

  73. Why are car dealers the only businesses that insist on making their own homemade commercials?

    Just kiss my bumper, just kiss it!

    Senate Insurance!

  74. RCD,

    What about that Ferrel Hicks car dealer commercial from 4747 South Ashland Avenue?

  75. Chrysler and Nissan just announced a partnership to build cars.. so are we going to see a new commercial where Super Don and Import Man make up?

    Or how about that MOPAR/Mitsubishi hookup in the 1970s/1980s?

    Nothing new under the sun.

    Oh, for that UAW vs. Reason staff, I have my money on the Reason crew if there are any microwave ovens nearby.

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