Reason on Red Eye


I'll be on Red Eye tonight with one of those people who comments on Ashlee Simpson's outfits in US Weekly and Greg Plitt. I encourage you to google the latter. The show starts at 3am on Fox News.

NEXT: Artifact: Playing Tag

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  1. I encourage you to google the latter.

    Thanks, Kerry–now I feel uncomfortably gay.

  2. I overlooked the black typeface at the end of your first sentence and expected to see Ashlee Simpson’s outfits. Maybe I did?

  3. Episiarch | March 31, 2008, 4:07pm | #

    I suggest switching to boxer-briefs, and using the occasional shot of baby powder.

    Then you can feel comfortably gay.

  4. Ok, I clicked the link and I now understand why you felt gay.

    Me, he’s not my type. Too queeny.

  5. Odd how this site hasn’t discussed attempts to shut down Fox. I guess RG’s a friendly or something.

  6. TLB | March 31, 2008, 4:16pm | #

    Maybe because everything you find interesting, everyone else thinks is fucking stupid.

    Food for thought.

  7. “Let’s go watch some gay porn so we can get our hate back.”

  8. Thanks Kerry

  9. “I encourage you to google the latter”

    What a fuckin’ capon!

  10. I feel a little guilty; I used to watch the show when it first aired, and even sent them emails begging them to get rid of lunatic Rachel Marsden (which they did!). But then they went the typical neocon route, bashing Ron Paul, and I stopped watching. But maybe I’ll let Tivo make an exception tonight.

    When you are on, see if you can explain to them that not wanting to invade every country in the Middle East is not equivalent to isolationism.

  11. Kerry, you gotta warn a fella about links like that! Like a “(kind of NSFW)” tag or something.

    Episiarch, are you sure you didn’t accidentally drink some Gay Powerthirst?

  12. IOKTSN = It’s OK To Say No
    HnRCARE = Hit and Run Commenters Against Red Eye

  13. Rimfax, I can’t be watching a video at work but I’ll assume it’s funny.

  14. Y’know, I don’t have to accept every invitation to watch something…

  15. I get the impression that part of the Red Eye formula is the hot and funny, female conservative. Marsden covered that until, it appears, she showed her true colors (personality, not politics) and they had to escort her out. (See the refs detailing her history on her Wikipedia page.) Kerry appears to be her replacement in the formula, even though she’s about as conservative as Boortz is libertarian.

  16. Episiarch,

    I can’t either. I did a site search, so I’m going on faith (hail, Google) that this is the right video.

    They use the phrase “uncomfortably gay” prominently, so I thought that you might have seen it. It is best viewed as a followup to the “Powerthirst” video. Both are exceptionally funny.

  17. Kerry is certainly more charming than Rachel Marsden, as is, well, almost everybody. The Aynrandian hairdo is very cute. Red Eye, however, is completely unwatchable. (Thanks, Rimfax, for the tip to Marsden’s Wikipedia page. Looks like every guy she dates ends up regretting ever having met her.)

  18. Episiarch: if that link above makes you uncomfortable, this NSFW one will straighten things out for you.

  19. Once again, I must remind everyone: Red Eye is the best show on television. Miss it at your expense.

  20. the critic | March 31, 2008, 5:58pm | #

    Once again, I must remind everyone: Red Eye is the best show on television. Miss it at your expense.

    Editors Note: “The critic” has access to only one channel, and is only able to watch television at 3AM on weeknights, due to requirements related to his job as a garbage collector, and his epilepsy, which is provoked by extended exposure to anything other than trite soundbytes

    Orange Line Special | March 31, 2008, 5:44pm | #

    You know, normally I’d have to go out of my way to inform people that Lonewacko has a special place in his pea-sized heart for Chicks With Dicks; he fortunately saves me the effort on this and many other occasions.

    It really doesnt surprise anyone

  21. Why Red Eye hasn’t been canceled yet is something science cannot fully explain.

  22. Zach,
    Maybe because it costs less to make than a Hot Pocket.

    Red Eye isn’t the best show on TV, but it’s the best show on that channel.

  23. …who comments on Ashlee Simpson’s outfits….

    …and Patricia Arquette’s. Please someone tell me why Patricia and her sister keep getting cast with major roles. They are awful. Patricia actually made “Little Nicky” even worse than it already was. On the rare instances that they get into decent movies, they all but ruin them single-handedly. “The Big Blue” (“Le Grand bleu” on imdb) is one example of an excellent movie almost ruined by Rosanna.

  24. Lonewacko, you are a dick (without a chick). And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

  25. Please someone tell me why Patricia and her sister keep getting cast with major roles.

    They have big tits and exude sexuality.

    Okay, emerson, your statement is more accurate than my hyperbole. But you gotta admit, Red Eye occupies a special niche.

  26. Ok, Now Im trying to explain to my wife that Im not gay.

  27. johncjackson 3rd | April 1, 2008, 11:43am | #

    I know of one ‘explanation’ that works pretty well.

    requisite = “bow chicka wow-wow”

    for reference purposes =

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