Friday Funnies

Bedtime story

Comments

[Taktix?]

Although the whole Clinton helicopter fiction is low on the "shit I care about" list, I'd have to say this illustrates one thing I've noticed about the Hilla-fizzle:

Bill can sell this bullshit, Hillary can't.

Bill could have said he ducked under the heliport, rescued a dolphin from a net and saved Lois Lane without messing up his hair, and people would have bought it.

[DADIODADDY]

the only way slick willy would rescue Lois lane would be if she gave him a blow job

[Taktix?]

the only way slick willy would rescue Lois lane would be if she gave him a blow job

I was under the impression that a blowjob is a given when rescuing those from peril.

/misogyny

[John-David]

Chip Bok's today is better:

http://www.comics.com/editoons/bok/archive/bok-20080327.html

[Episiarch]

Which Lois Lane: This one or this one?

Because it matters.

[anon]

If only someone had warned us that the Clintons are lying sons-a-bitches.

[SugarFree]

Epi,

What have you got against alcoholic mid-40s Lois Lane? Of course Superman would fall in with a woman who sounds like she gargles broken glass every morning and smells like a cigarette stubbed out in a dead dog's ass. Wouldn't you?

P.S. Have you seen House of the Dead? (Or at least Google it in the privacy of your secret lair.)

[Episiarch]

NutraSweet, yes, I saw that piece of shit. Uwe Boll needs to be beaten repeatedly until he is brain damaged enough to make a good shitty horror movie. And I'm saying this as a fan of shitty horror movies.

And are you saying I have something against Lois Lanes that are found in somebody's backyard under the wood pile, insane and disoriented, as opposed to ones in American flag bikinis?

[joe]

It isn't just that Hillary told a tall tale. Lots of people do. If you read "D-Day" by Ambrose Bierce, he talks about how demonstrably faulty man veterans' memories are. Men honestly remember landing on Normandy beach and fighting tanks later in the day, even though it is known with 100% certainty that not a single American who landed on the beaches fought tanks that day. Those men's memories have conflated more than one event into a single memory, which is remarkably common.

But when she got busted, she lied. She tried to make up a cover story, live and on air while being interviewed, and it was obvious.

[That was easy]

the only way slick willy would rescue Lois lane would be if she gave by letting her give him a blow job

[Taktix?]

But when she got busted, she lied. She tried to make up a cover story, live and on air while being interviewed, and it was obvious.

And she caught a fish this big...

[LarryA]

Bill can sell this bullshit, Hillary can't.

1. Bill mainly alleged he didn't do stuff that happened in relative privacy, which is easier to pull off.

2. Getting shot at isn't something folks are usually unclear about whether it happened or not. You tend to remember the moment a bullet whizzes by. People around you tend to remember it.

[Gilbert Martin]

Hillary's trying to float a new version of the 3:00 AM emergency phone call now - the "economic emergency".

I doubt that notion will work for her any better than the earlier one.

She has never accomplished anything in her life that proves she knows anything about economics at all - let alone being an "expert" on the subject.

[Taktix?]

Hillary's trying to float a new version of the 3:00 AM emergency phone call now - the "economic emergency".

Case in point: Someone should remind Hillary that the U.S. markets are not open at 3 a.m. EST...

[P Brooks]

Bill collectors never sleep.

[Gilbert Martin]

"Case in point: Someone should remind Hillary that the U.S. markets are not open at 3 a.m. EST..."

Any real economic "emergencies" that come along are usually dealt with by the Chairman of the Federal Reserve anyway - not the president.

[Taktix?]

Any real economic "emergencies" that come along are usually dealt with by the Chairman of the Federal Reserve anyway - not the president.

If by "dealt with" you mean "shit the bed horribly," then under the current chairman, yes, Bernanke "dealt with" the emergency...

[BakedPenguin]

Bill collectors never sleep.

Repo man's got all night, every night!

[joe]

Ben Bernanke waiting for an elevator: push push push push push push push push push push push push push push push...

[joe]

Ben Bernanke with a slow internet connection: click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click....

[Comics Curmudgeon]

Scott Stantis can't draw, and his humor is obvious and mundane. Other than, he is simply outstanding.

[twistedmerkin]

If you read "D-Day" by Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce? I think your memory is faulty there, joe.

[Kolohe]

twisted-
very meta.

[Qbryzan]

Uwe Boll needs to be beaten repeatedly until he is brain damaged enough to make a good shitty horror movie.

What about "Alone in the Dark" ? I thought the brilliant casting of Tara Reid as a museum curator elevated it from "bad" to "so bad it's good".

[joe]

D'oh!

Stephen Ambrose.

[Isaac Bartram]

joe

Fair enough with the "Those men's memories have conflated more than one event into a single memory" line.

But the fact of the matter is that Hillary didn't just conflate more than one event into a single memory, she made the whole fucking thing up.

[Isaac Bartram]

In other words, the guys who said they fought the tanks on D-day actually did land on the beach and they did fight tanks. They just didn't do both on the same day.

Hillary didn't do any of what she said on the same or different days. Her plane made a perfectly safe and normal landing, she stopped and talked to a little girl that was part of the welcoming group on the tarmac and then strolled to the waiting car.

There is no conflation or exagerration here. It's an outright whopper.

[joe]

Isaac,

My point exactly. I could have given her the benefit of the doubt if she'd said, "That's strange, I seem to remember it the way I described. I must have confused two events." She did do a lot of travelling to places to that don't have a Club Med. Maybe she had a scary landing somewhere else.

But she didn't say that. She tried to b.s. her way out of it, and you could tell.

[Isaac Bartram]

Oh, Okeydokey, joe, we agree then (ring a bell?).

I misinterpretised and thought you were making a (albeit rather unenthusiastic defense) defense.

Sorry 'bout that.

[R C Dean]

Maybe she had a scary landing somewhere else.

Oh, if she had, we'd've heard about it.

I mean, c'mon, since when does the First Lady land anyplace that hasn't been secured to within an inch of its life? Especially with the First Child in tow?

[Isaac Bartram]

Hey, come on, R C, I've had a few scary landings in aeroplanes me own self. Mind you, I never made up stories about snipers shooting at me and stuff when it happened.

That happened other times. 🙂

[Francesco Sinibaldi]

A canticle and the romance.

When the sunshine
returns in the
light of a gentle
delight, remember
the sound of a
rosy notepaper,
discover the wisdom
in the care of a
beautiful darkness
and so, in the sky,
that delicate dream
will touch your
profile....

Francesco Sinibaldi

[Nike Dunk Low]

is good