Ron Paul and Chuck Norris: Huckabee's Angels

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HENNIKER, NH—Mike Huckabee and his BFF Chuck Norris ambled into this town west of Manchester on Friday afternoon, into the smallish gymnasium of New England College. I was looking for signs of a slapdash Huckabee organization, and I found them. Activists for pesky issue groups like Divided We Fail and Clean Energy for America and Make Global Warming a Priority brought signs into the gym and held them high for the cameras—Obama had avoided scenes like this by barring signs from being brought into his events. The posters pointing people inside were chintzy, printed on color laser printers (with white paper visible around the image) and stuck on doors with scotch tape. Reporters and voters trudged around on a vinyl mat meant to keep the floor clean,

The thing is that all of this fit the event perfectly: Huckabee's populism wouldn't be as credible if his event didn't look so ad hoc. Timothy Egan pointed this out a little while ago, arguing that it was an act that covered up the candidate's ego and high living. But it sounds credible because Huckabee really is a populist. This video from the rally shows Chuck Norris introducing the candidate with a whine about how big corporations and celebrities like him don't pay their fair share of taxes. You know who else makes that argument? Bill Clinton.

I detected a different tone to Huckabee's rhetoric than the tone he used in Iowa. Simply put, he's trying to sound like a Free Stater. And it isn't convincing. His education solution was a return to "this thing called the 10th Amendment" and local schooling. His health care solution: "I don't trust the government or the insurance companies." If you've been watching Ron Paul's ads, that will ring a bell. The next line on health care was a howler: "You live your life however you want. I'm not going to tell you how to live. That's not my plan." So says the candidate who favors a national smoking ban.

On the military: "I want our armed forces beefed up to the point that they're Chuck Norris approved."

Huckabee's crowd was modest, good enough to fill a small college's gym (your high school's gym was probably comparable), a sign that he doesn't have enough support to break into the McCain-Romney race for first. The voters who did show up, though (they trickled in for more than an hour after the event kicked off) were moved and devoted to their guy, worshipful in a way only McCain and Paul fans have been worshipful. "The best thing I can say about him is that I could introduce him as my father and be proud to show him off," said committed Huckabe backer Susie Prescott.

NEXT: Friday Mini Book Review: XXX Scumbag Party and Misery Loves Comedy

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  1. Hmm. There’s something about this pair of Chuck and Huck that makes me think of…

    REV 19:20 But the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who
    had performed the miraculous signs on his behalf. With these signs he had
    deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped his
    image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning
    sulfur.

    See, Huck is the antichrist and Chuck is his prophet. It’s Omen III: The Final Conflict all over again.

  2. Who needs Chuck Norris. Ron Paul has Donna D’Errico

  3. Is it true about Huckabee, that he’s on the list of “Judicial watch of Ten Most corrupt politicians of 2007” along with Clinton, Guliani and Osama?

  4. There you go, Ron Paul campaign: get video of Huckabee making statements like “I don’t want to run your life” and exploit the hell out of it in a campaign ad by showing EXACTLY how he plans to run your life. It would make for a great TV, radio and print ad…show those voters how much of a HUCKSTER he really is.

  5. What do you mean Ron Paul supports a national smoking ban? YOU’RE MAKING THIS GARBAGE UP!

    Ron Paul doesn’t want to ban much of anything except taxes and stealing. Which I guess is actually the same thing.

  6. Andy,

    He was saying that Huckabee favors a national smoking ban (which he does).

    Settle down. Everything’s going to be all right.

  7. Someone else posted this Huckabee ad satire here previously, but it’s worth seeing again: here.

  8. See, Huck is the antichrist and Chuck is his prophet.

    But who is the Whore of Babylon?

  9. Andy – to add to crimethink’s comment, Weigel was suggesting Paul supporters go out and videotape Huckabee in obvious bullshit statements like “I don’t want to run your life”, and use them in viral videos (like the one I’ve posted above), showing that Huck is either a liar or certifiably insane.

    Also, when I make my morning coffee, I use about 80% decaf, 20% regular grounds. You might want to consider it. Just sayin’.

  10. Argh. ‘Like the [video] I posted a link to above.

  11. I’ve believed for a long time that Huckabee and Paul were fishing in the same pond: conservative Republicans who are alienated from the party after the last seven years.

    I’m not surprised that Huck would try to steal some of Paul’s applause lines.

    Oh and Dave? The answer to This video from the rally shows Chuck Norris introducing the candidate with a whine about how big corporations and celebrities like him don’t pay their fair share of taxes. You know who else makes that argument? is “About 3/4 of the American public.”

  12. Huckabee’s some kind of a joke, right? I mean, he’s got to be a joke. Or a plant by Democrats, one meant to force me to vote Dem in the general election.

  13. Actually, the better way to show up Huck isn’t simply to videotape his statements. The better way is to – gasp! – ask him real questions. You know, the type that MSM “reporters” refuse to ask. You ask those questions, videotape his response, and then upload it. And, that can be applied to the other candidates as well.

    In fact, that would be a great way for Ron Paul supporters to help him win.

    So, why is Weigel simply offering a recount of events rather than trying to ask Huck some real questions?

  14. Wow–Norris’s let’s-make-the-furriners-pay-taxes is a floating white subliminal cross between John Edwards and Tom Tancredo.

  15. If Chuck Norris isnt happy with the taxes he is paying, there is a link on the IRS website to donate more.

  16. Someone else posted this Huckabee ad satire here previously, but it’s worth seeing again

    Who needs a Huckabee satire when we can cringe at the real thing?

  17. The answer to This video from the rally shows Chuck Norris introducing the candidate with a whine about how big corporations and celebrities like him don’t pay their fair share of taxes. You know who else makes that argument? is “About 3/4 of the American public.”

    I’m guessing there’s a big overlap between them and the people who can’t locate the US on a world map (such as the Iraqi and South Africa and the Asian countries, like, such as)

  18. Huckabee will say anything to get elected. He is trying to steal Ron pauls agenda but his record shows a libral Democrat on spending. Huckabee is the most revolting political creatures to come to down the pike. I hope to God the people of New Hampshire can see through his lies and vote for Paul who is the only real Republican.

  19. I’m going to vote for Mike Huckabee because Chuck Norris will choke me if I don’t. Wait…I misquoted…. He’s going to choke Mitt Romney first.

  20. I’m deeply disturbed that someone who might be the Commander in Chief of our armed services, (and who will be putting our children’s life on the line) would say “I want our armed forces beefed up to the point that they’re Chuck Norris approved.”

    I see Chuck Norris doing Infomercials for Gym equipment on TV at two in the morning. I don’t think that he’s qualified to approve anything related to the loss of my life or anyone else’s.

  21. Regarding Mike Huckabee:

    “The best thing I can say about him is that I could introduce him as my father and be proud to show him off,” said committed Huckabee backer Susie Prescott.

    Whereas if she introduced Chuck Norris as her father, she wouldn’t have to care what anyone thought.

    Which reminds me…I hope Ron Paul brought Barry Manilow to New Hampshire. It wouldn’t do to allow New Hampshire voters to think Mike Huckabee has a corner on macho celebrity support. (Barry even has “Man” in his name. How much more macho can one get?!)

  22. Judicial Watch
    http://judicialwatch.org/judicial-watch-announces-list-washington-s-ten-most-wanted-corrupt-politicians-2007

    “Governor Mike Huckabee (R-AR): Governor Huckabee enjoyed a meteoric rise in the polls in December 2007, which prompted a more thorough review of his ethics record. According to The Associated Press: “[Huckabee’s] career has also been colored by 14 ethics complaints and a volley of questions about his integrity, ranging from his management of campaign cash to his use of a nonprofit organization to subsidize his income to his destruction of state computer files on his way out of the governor’s office.” And what was Governor Huckabee’s response to these ethics allegations? Rather than cooperating with investigators, Huckabee sued the state ethics commission twice and attempted to shut the ethics process down.”

  23. I’ve believed for a long time that Huckabee and Paul were fishing in the same pond: conservative Republicans who are alienated from the party after the last seven years.

    HAHAHA! Yes, joe, fiscal conservatives, libertarians, and constitutionalists have SOOO much in common with big-government theocratic populists who don’t understand economics.

  24. This is a great website to watch Ron Paul videos. It’s important to learn about this great man and then educate others.

  25. prolefeed,

    Most people aren’t policy nerds.

    Some policy nerds just never understand why nobody cares about their charts and graphs.

  26. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoE61QurTwU

    The rEVOLution caught up with Walker Texas Ranger on the Michael Medved show yesterday.

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