Condom Carbon Credits

In the news today, an Australian medical expert who wants a $5,000 baby tax at birth on families with more than two children and an annual carbon tax of up to $800 a child.

Hilariously implausible on its own, the plan's finer points are where it really shines:

Professor [Barry] Walters, clinical associate professor of obstetric medicine at the University of Western Australia and the King Edward Memorial Hospital in Perth, called for condoms and "greenhouse-friendly" services such as sterilisation procedures to earn carbon credits.

Me, I'd rather plant a tree.

The plan won praise from high-profile doctor Garry Egger. "One must wonder why population control is spoken of today only in whispers," he wrote.

Perhaps such things are only spoken of in whispers so that people like Prof. Walters won't come over and start talking about condom carbon credits, thus causing everyone involved in the discussion to dissolve in helpless hysterical laughter. Just a thought.